Chris (after being told by his grandfather that God knows what he’s doing in the bathroom, and that it’s a sin) : Oh man! I’m a sinner and God’s a pervert!
Chris, to yummy food item: I’m turning you into poo!
Answering Machine: You have 113 new messages. [beep]
Lois Griffin: Oh, my!
Herbert: Uh, yeah, I was just wonderin’, uh…mmm-hmm…well, where the newspaper boy was. [beep] Haven’t seen the newspaper in a couple of days, wonderin’ if he ever gonna come back. [beep] Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here, thinkin’ ‘bout the muscley-armed paper boy, wishin’ he’d come by and bring me some good news. [beep] Where are you? [beep] Aw, you’re startin’ to piss me off you little pigly sumbitch. Call me!
Mayor West:
“So it’s a shouting match you want, huh? AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH…I’m winning…AAAAAARGGGHHHHHHHH!”
AW “Damnit Swanson I want them found!”
JS “Mayor West we have every available man looking for the Griffins, we just don’t have any leads”
AW "Not the Griffins you moron, the rest of my light bright pieces - my name isn’t Adam We - or is it? Who am I? What number did you dial? Don’t ever call here again.
I guess I told him. Nobody messes with Adam We.
[quote]Ty Carlson wrote:
Answering Machine: You have 113 new messages. [beep]
Lois Griffin: Oh, my!
Herbert: Uh, yeah, I was just wonderin’, uh…mmm-hmm…well, where the newspaper boy was. [beep]
Haven’t seen the newspaper in a couple of days, wonderin’ if he ever gonna come back. [beep] Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here, thinkin’ ‘bout the muscley-armed paper boy, wishin’ he’d come by and bring me some good news. [beep]
Where are you? [beep] Aw, you’re startin’ to piss me off you little pigly sumbitch. Call me![/quote]
Hilarious.
You’re not the only one who fell for it.
Peter, on helping Meg learn how to meet boys:
“Meg, after I’m done with you, you’ll be beating off boys with both hands”
peter, standing in water:
“hey chris, c’mere - does the water feel warmer…?”
chris " no"
peter " oh thats right, its going number one that makes it warmer"
[quote]dianab wrote:
Peter, on helping Meg learn how to meet boys:
“Meg, after I’m done with you, you’ll be beating off boys with both hands”[/quote]
I took a while to click onto that one. I had to watch the movie about 3 times before I went “Oh… OH!”
Tasty Juice, tasty juice: drink it and convert it to pee.
[quote]ukrainian wrote:
Tasty Juice, tasty juice: drink it and convert it to pee.[/quote]
“Open up baby, here it comes…”
[quote]Makavali wrote:
dianab wrote:
Peter, on helping Meg learn how to meet boys:
“Meg, after I’m done with you, you’ll be beating off boys with both hands”
I took a while to click onto that one. I had to watch the movie about 3 times before I went “Oh… OH!”[/quote]
Same episode, Brian to Quagmire:
Cross country tour huh, you’re missing the “o” in country
I love how the writers get away with that stuff.
[quote]dianab wrote:
Makavali wrote:
dianab wrote:
Peter, on helping Meg learn how to meet boys:
“Meg, after I’m done with you, you’ll be beating off boys with both hands”
I took a while to click onto that one. I had to watch the movie about 3 times before I went “Oh… OH!”
Same episode, Brian to Quagmire:
Cross country tour huh, you’re missing the “o” in country
I love how the writers get away with that stuff.[/quote]
“I’ll go pump the chemical toilet. Apparently, you’re about to do the same.”
Cockroach: Man, I’m going to cut you up so bad, that you… you gonna wish I didn’t cut you up so bad.
Lois: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Uh, what could me and you do together?
[Lois giggles]
Peter: Lois, you’ve got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I’m talking about making love.
Peter: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Tom Tucker: And now, here’s Ollie Williams, with the Black Weather Forecast. Ollie?
Ollie Williams: IT’S GON’ RAIN!
Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
Peter: [transformed into Britney Spears] How about a kiss, Justin?
Justin Timberlake: Uh, sure, Britney.
[they kiss, and Peter transforms]
Justin Timberlake: Aaahh!
Peter: He, he, he, he! I’m Gene Shalit now. Bye!
Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can’t hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you’re my bitch.
Stewie: It wasn’t even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So…this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn’t it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
Lois: What kind of egotistical, selfish, moronic and idiotic person would get liposuction… Who? WHO?
(Peter walks in at half of his weight)
Stewie: Oh my God… It’s finally happened, he’s become so massive that he collapsed into himself like a neutron star.