The Dead Bedroom Thread

What other things?

This might be true, but kids waking up isn’t the only sleep disrupter

my mum developed a kind of hyper-vigilance that wakes her up at the slightest noise. Still hasn’t gone away after 22 years. She said used to be able to sleep through thunderstorms

For families who are financially constrained, adding a kid might require dad’s (or mums) to pick up more work or work at different hours (get up earlier, go to bed later) → less sleep.

This is definitely not unique to having kids, but having kids gives you less of a choice about your sleep schedule.

For example, a college kid could easily choose to not stay up all night playing video games or develop better study habits so there’s not a need to pull all nighters. Most childless adults could choose to drop spending to avoid picking up more shifts and don’t have the extra expense of childcare to worry about. They could also finish up their work projects from 5pm-8pm instead of 9pm-12am because they don’t have to chauffer their kids to activities, play with the kids, put them to bed etc

I know. I’m just saying I’m the same age. People within the same generations still look at things differently.

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Yeah, I should have clarified.

It’s not my daughter that keeps me up at night. I keep me up at night, for my daughter.

I was already making 6 figures yearly before overtime by the time I decided I wanted to start taking college classes. The main reason I wanted to get a degree is so that I would have more time to spend with my family. I don’t think I would have pursued a degree if I didn’t have my daughter.

Even before then, I was enlisted working 14 hour shifts and still moonlighting as a bouncer to pay bills.

So indirectly, my daughter has caused me literal years of insufficient sleep - because I want to do right by her and give her the best leg up on life that I can give.

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I agree, but that applies to all things.

What’s interesting is that the two individuals who took issue with the comment are engaging in behavior that, whether they know it or not, takes them out of “the game.” That’s why I mentioned reproductive suppression.

Hobbies are not the issue; their views on hobbies serve as an excuse. Even if they desired a partner, family, or kids, they would have to make a significant shift.

Maybe I’m speaking out of turn, but I believe neither @anna_5588 nor @tlgains have said they want kids. I actually believe both have said the opposite (correct me if I’m wrong guys).

So why are you giving them shit, exactly?

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What shit? This is all based on their writing.

I never said they did. What I said is that based on their actions it is not up to them.

What a meaningless comment then.

“Don’t stay in the house all day”
-“I wasn’t planning to”
“Well, it might not be your choice if you keep doing that then”
???

Why are you here?

Like being a virgin and watching cartoons :rofl:

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I think he’s saying there is an insidious plot at work, influencing the youth to not reproduce.

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No, it would be more like.

“I do not want a partner/kids because they get in the way of my painting. I love painting.”

But, then you find out they have never had a partner, are afraid of talking to the opposite sex and spend all their time alone indoors.

The issues are much deeper but, they try to put a positive spin on it.

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See he gets it.

Not of a people or country is to continue.

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Even though I am an advocate of marriage as a socially sanctioned institution with purposes that serve society besides those for two individuals, primarily child raising, I do not advise others to do so in the current time. If men want to get married, that’s good. But I don’t advise it.

Edit: Religion is not needed for it. Again, it can be socially sanctioned, and that’s it, with rules in place for violating it.

And I think those who value their own comfort and hobbies should not have them. People who can’t tolerate feeling like shit (from lack of sleep for example) should not have them. People who do not deal with life’s curveballs and inconvenience should not have them. Complicated people should not have them.

Know thyself.

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I agree.

The people saying “Fossil Fuels Bad” are the same people who talk about overpopulation, and the same people who fund studies in collegiate institutions.

#KlausSchwaubClan

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These were the same people playing other weird, reclusive bullshit and they’ve never been the marrying types though.

Dont you think they’d need to date at least one person of the opposite sex to find out though?

I’m willing to bet their parents say things like “just be yourself”, when them being the weird reclusive type is literally them being themselves.

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I see what you mean, but attribute it to less nefarious cause.

Families are much smaller now. 2.2 kids and all that. So the attention and adoration that used to be split between 4,5, or up to 13-15 kids a few generations ago, is now only split between 2 kids. 3 max.

They’re super extra self centered (not self-ish) because they’ve been almost the entire focus of their parents attention for their whole life.

Hence the emergence of the instagram ego-maniacs, the Living My Best Life! :hugs: generation that seems so despicable to us today. The Greatest Generation was great because they understood self sacrifice, living for and being part of something greater than their self. They worked hard to build their communities and a nation, change the world, etc.

Now, as the family units have become much smaller- A bunch of unicorns that think their fucking pronouns are the most important thing in the world! :rofl:
Or that by merely existing they are somehow special!

Ah, ok. Enough of my rambling. Just bear in mind that none of this is substantiated by anything other than “thats how I see it.”.

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See but, that is the thing. If you are familiar with the big 5 personality types (gold standard) these are all examples of people high in neuroticism or at least higher than normal.

“Neuroticism, also sometimes referred to as Emotional Stability, is the trait that measures the extent to which a person experiences negative emotions, such as anxiety, depression, and emotional instability. Individuals high in neuroticism are more prone to mood swings, worry, and stress.”

So, it all comes back to “Why are so many people now high in neuroticism?” (I do not like saying mental illness because people jump to extremes like schizophrenia)

That is part of the “meaning crisis” is it:

  • Social Media?
  • Lack of culture?
  • Break down of family unit?

Even nutrition may play a part. There is a reason that countries banned Red Dye 40 and studies are showing that Artificial Sweeteners, Preservatives like sodium benzoate, Trans Fats, High-Fructose Corn Syrup among others may contribute to mood/behavioral issues.

I can’t imagine a fetus being exposed to all of them is ideal.

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Anyone ever heard the phrase/notion:

"Just wait until you’re 30, girls will be all over you. "
(Typically being said to a guy)
?

If so, or you at least know what I’m talking about, why do you think this is a general sentiment? Why does he have to wait until he’s 30?

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