My bet is that your wife does.
I reckon if you gave her the choice at 25 between you and insert attractive celebrity here you’d have lost every time. At 42, I’m willing to bet she’s changed her mind.
Just to clarify here: I’m not making a genuine attempt to put words in your wife’s mouth, but to make a point that attraction comes down to so, so much more than the things that can be communicated on Instagram.
Yes. oh yes. But I can understand as well. I think I am f’d up as well in the brain.
Tonight I’m not going out. It’s the first friday in maybe 4 months. And I’m bored senseless right now. I think something in society is corrupting our brains.
I made that choice precisely to save money and focus on my physique and such. But I’ll need some adjustment time.
I don’t think being bored is a bad idea. It will make me enjoy simpler things, being more creative and productive etc if I’m not constantly exposed to activities and dopamine and vices.
So I get the appeal of going out and seeing girls and just having fun. I have been doing that for a while.
Well I’m certainly way more attractive now that at 18-25, even with my grey hair and receding hairline lol
Absolutely mate, get off that hedonic treadmill.
Right. Which is why if I were young and single today I’d have to face being alone or perhaps be lucky and selective in finding a woman who fit some criteria:
I’ve been slowly having a glow up starting from about 2 years ago. I’m 29 now and hope it continues 
I’m no model by even the slightest stretch, but looks are increasing ever so slightly.
I blame the drugs
Me too! I think I am much better looking than 2 years ago. Maybe not as good as when I was like 22-23 though. Was really lean then.
I agree with all that .
It shouldn’t be too hard to find a woman who fit the first three
The last one though…
Put fit/healthy/attractive anywhere in there and it becomes almost impossible.
I tend to agree with you… But my qualm as specified prior is the lack of an alternative framework. No one has proposed an alternative that could feasibly be systemically applied. It’s easy for us to complain, but what alternative do we have? On an individualistic basis, different communities exist and thus you or I could take a different approach to finding a partner. I highly doubt you’ll find a man/woman with a body count of 69,699 at a church.
I still like my idea… Different societies for people who abide by different ideals. This already exists to a degree.
We also need to factor in the advent of technological advancements, the impact dating apps/hookup culture has had on the dynamics of courtship. With or without the sexual revolution, texting, social media, “ADHD” culture etc will/would still be prevalent. Where would dating be without the advent of social media? We wouldn’t have tinder (positive)… Then again, you also wouldn’t have plenty of legitimate dating apps like jdate, eHarmony, bumble etc (negative as these apps tend to help people). Apps that have helped many find long term partners.
I’ve noticed it in the hardcore gyms… Back when gyms were actually open in Aus. Always found it hysterical. I don’t suddenly think someone is tough because they’re brooding, unfriendly and easily irritable… Rather I think such a composure is indicative someone has problems. I clearly need to apply my stank face when I’m out on a date.
My next date
Girl “we will get a few glasses of the dom perignon! Unreal24278 is paying”
Unreal ‘pulls biggest stank face the world has ever seen.’
This will be my new way of expressing disapproval or irritation.
You’re the only adult I know who knows what deathcore is . Not a bad thing (I’m not making fun), however deathcore was uniquely marketed towards adolescents in the 2000’s/2010’s. That’s a conversation starter for a date
Girl: “so, what music are you into?”
Boy “I love suicide silence! Their song ‘eyes sewn shut’ is to die for! I’ll show you now”
Boy turns on song, bangs his head around and makes a stank face of unprecedentedly exaggerated proportions.
I want to touch on something else @anna_5588 @BrickHead @aldebaran
Many will disagree with me, including perhaps yourselves. I’ve found with the advent of technological advances, excess dopaminergic stimuli and a new found acceptance for sedentary lifestyle we have, as a population become considerably more isolated.
When I want to have fun, I go for a walk with my dog, I go for a run, a cycle, I exercise outside (prison style gym contraption). I’ll go for hikes, go swimming, go to the beach if it’s sunny out.
Plenty of today’s youth and adults alike hardly go outside. There are plenty of young kids and even young adults I know who would rather sit in front of a tv playing video games and/or binge watching sitcoms as opposed to going out. How do you think this reflects in terms of the dynamic impact it may have on the dating scene? How can you expect marriage rates, birth rates to sustain when people won’t even go out and meet new people?
Covid has made this exponentially worse. In my area (longest lockdown in the world) there were large scale advertising campaigns to promote staying at home, day drinking and video games. Any means to stop people from actually interacting with one another.
Out of all the generations surveyed, I recall Millennials were the only demographic that actually reported having less sex. I don’t think this is a coincidence, this was the advent of modern cell phones and hyper realistic video games.
I’m not saying you have to cut these aspects out of your life completely. Video games can be a very fun vice/waste of time (lol). But don’t revolve your entire life around sitting on a couch eating Cheetos and mashing buttons on a controller
We also have the advent of the industrial revolution that led to workplace redistribution and re prioritisation. If we have a society that seems to shun face to face interaction with the preference of watching tv, sitting at home and playing video games… If we have a society that is “too career focused” to worry about relationships, how could you expect marriage rates, birth rates etc to sustain themselves.
Still, decline of the population won’t occur en masse in part due to developing and/or religious countries. Rather this will screw over developed countries in time.
Use Japan as a prime example as to what I am talking about. A work obsessed culture, so much so that mother’s hardly take maternity leave for fear of ostracism, the alternative is simply… Not to have kids. Japan also consists of a culture that is systemically sexually repressed, this in itself to a degree has discouraged male/female peer to peer interaction. Sexual repression coupled with workaholism, technological advancements, a lack of adherence to upholding societal mental health has led to a culture that hardly focuses on dating, relationships or reproduction.
Spread by age demographic is supposed to represent a pyramid. Young people make up the bottom portion, middle aged people make up the middle and elderly people make up the tip of the pyramid. In Japan, young people make up a small portion, middle aged people make up a majority and elderly people make up a small portion. The spread looks like an onion.
Young people can’t afford to house their parents AND grandparents, particularly with our current economic climate in place.
You might say “what does Japan have to do with us?”. Many developed countries are going down a similar route with ever decreasing birth rates. Overall world population however will continue to rapidly increase as third world countries will pick up the slack
This doesn’t mean third world countries are better for relationships. People over there tend to have less in the way of discernable options. There are MANY issues with various developing/perpetually third world states, and a higher birth rate doesn’t factor out these issues.
I’d rather live in Japan relative to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (birth rate almost 6:1… Also rape capitol of the world). But our current sociopolitical climate isn’t conducive for optimising marriage outcomes. I don’t quite agree with the way things were a century ago… But I can grab and discard various elements from modern and past societies to make up a utopian ideal in my head consisting of what I perceive to be optimal. It will never eventuate, but I can only dream.
We need to encourage kids to be kids again. Social interaction is SO important, especially for the developing brain. Over the past five to ten years we have been pushing a borderline isolationist rhetoric, products marketed towards the masses have even encouraged this. Covid lit a firework under this. I understand the metric of concern with covid, but this is not a healthy societal mentality to uphold. My state has some 73% of the adult population fully vaccinated, above 90% partially vaccinated yet today I had to buy take away from a food chain because it is apparently still too dangerous for me to sit at a table and eat my food.
We talk about the sexual revolution quite a bit. What about isolationist narratives, sedentary lifestyles, mass infertility/the deterioration in male androgen output? What about technology/similarly habit forming stimuli creating generations of kids who would rather be playing world of warcraft as opposed to going out for a bite to eat with the girl across the road?
There are many societal metrics that are outright discouraging dating. If someone doesn’t want a partner… If someone doesn’t want to get married or have kids, that’s okay… That’s on them
I’d argue the portion of people who TRULY don’t want a partner encompass a minority of the population.
Yes, I would tend to agree, for some people. Some other can’t stop going out since lockdown has ended (like me).
Probably. But I don’t think it’s just video games. I have been single for a solid 1,5 years, and this was the time in my life in which I played the less games. Didn’t even played once for 6 months. I just didn’t have the time or the want.
I’m older than you, got my first console in 95 and have been the archetypal geek since. Played all the time. With my friends even. A true addict. This never prevented me from playing games.
When I was with my ex or the time before that I was playing lots of games. Lots. And I always had girlfriends.
And I have friends that play lots of games. Some have girls, some don’t.
That was me before lol. But it’s been a while; I just don’t see the appeal. I usually only play when I listen to something or do something else at the same time.
Yeah but what’s the alternative? With minimum wage you can barely live. Life is always getting more expensive.
Nope, I can’t even house myself 
Here, housing agencies usually ask the household for three time the lodging cost for you to be accepted. Median salary in France is 1900€. With 650€ you have a nice little 30m² shit lodging
So nope, not gonna move out while I’m single unless I’m comfortable.
I don’t think the vast majority of people would rather stay at home and play games. It’s just that’s easier, more conforting. People are afraid, they don’t want to get rejected and such. It’s a cope out.
Yeah, that’s the word. I want to date, but honestly the risk/reward ratio doesn’t make want to try.
But yes it’s true that people are more and more isolated. Here it’s worse I can tell. People don’t even say hello on the street. Everyone is folded on themselves. You don’t go to talk to other people in bars or anywhere. I had a friend that went in Portugal a few weeks ago and she was so surprised that stranger would some up to you, or straight up flirt with you.
Here in a country where everybody only stays with their friends, if you approach someone it’s always badly received, like the person will inevitably hit on you, or ask for cigarettes or something.
By all means… Get a job, work hard
But pulling seventeen hour shifts five days a week? Unless you’re a business owner looking at large scale projects I don’t think it’s a good idea. Even then, it’s supposed to be temporary.
I typically work eight hours per day, Mon-Fri. This allows me to allocate almost nine hours per day towards other endeavours.
Having a job ought to be a PART of life, it shouldn’t take over your life unless you seriously have nothing else… At which point I’d recommend looking into a lifestyle change, finding hobbies etc.
Have you been to Aus recently (trick question)… At its worst you legitimately faced getting arrested for talking to people, we had commercials and politicians warning people not to talk to anyone at the supermarket.
So… If I go talk to a girl in your country (don’t know where that is), she will flirt with me? Or ask me for a cigarette?
Are you telling me all I need to do to go on dates is buy a packet of Virginia slims and walk around, randomly asking people how their day has been?
Australia is the same in that culturally we are very insular. But approaching someone won’t lead to being asked for a cigarette as they cost almost 50$ for 20 of them here. You are unlikely to be hit on at random outside of university, bars and clubs either. It happens, but it’s not common
Yes, I just meant that I completely understand people putting their career first instead of having kids. Because if you don’t focus on your career or studies for a while, there are great chances that you’ll end up with a soul sucking job that barely pays. 8 hours a day, for a long time.
Do you think i’d want a kid with my actual finances? Not at all.
Damn
I meant the opposite, sorry. I’m foggy this morning. The girl will assume you have an agenda and that it’s only to flirt or ask for a cigarette ahahah. And it’s in France.
And this is pretty frown upon. I just have to listen to my sister who’s saying every week “ugh men are pigs, they always look at us like pieces of meat I can’t stand this ughhh” and so on
Actually, this is how you should flirt yeah. Minus the Virginia slim. Go talk to strangers, be polite, treat them like you would treat your friends. Well, perhaps not in Australia ahahah
“Hi, my name i-”
“COVID RISK! How dare you infect me!”
Girl kicks unreal in the nuts and runs away, police show up and dogpile on unreal, then tase him after he is down before stomping on his head… Can’t have covid spreading about
I agree with you on all fronts.
However there was a time when a factory/warehouse job (akin to what I have) was enough to string a man or woman along for life. You could afford a house, a car, tuition for kids, food and medical bills on that alone.
There is a time as of current era society to prioritise career… That is high school, college and for the first few years of incorporating yourself into the workplace.
When you have procured a profession that entails a degree of income that allows you to ‘live’, which may be in your early 20s or in Australia… Perhaps never and/or by the time you hit your thirties, you can contemplate bringing a life into this world if that is what you want. I think most people want this.
However the cultures that needlessly prioritise work over all other lifestyle variables invariably have problems down the line. Look at Japan’s relationship with alcohol, mental illness and dating for reference. It is not a sustainable medium, I think it will come back to bite them.
In the past I’ve specified prior a HUGE issue with getting pregnant when young equates to the financial strain. Sure… The family might agree to partially compensate you, but in a country like Aus where everything is absurdly expensive (a tank of gas for my car costs 110$), it’s not easy to raise a child on a near minimum wage salary.
Something needs to change… We need more affordable housing, we need more affordable food, means of transportation, more affordable clothes. You can’t expect me to father a child at 20 when my yearly income is under 20K USD and everyday items are at LEAST 2x as expensive as they are in the US.
@unreal24278 i actually agree with a lot of what you’re saying, especially around video games and porn
Don’t have much else to add on the subject though
