@hustlinghat93@LeHappy
What you’ve likely seen in the West is that we have become moral and emotional basketcases.
That’s why you might have heard asinine statements like:
“Who am I to judge?”
“Who are you to judge?”
“Who’s to say what’s normal?”
“There is no normal.”
“We’re all weird.”
You’ve also likely heard, “We can’t enforce morality,” when in fact every law is made by people considering what they think is right or wrong, regardless if their thinking is flawed or not.
When someone complains about judgment, I ask myself, “Why does this person not want to be judged?” It actually makes me skeptical about the person. I don’t mind being judged, I should be judged, and we are all going to be judged until the day we die.
I know this is cringe but my girlfriend watches Love Island. I’m not sure if it’s big in the US or anything but it’s pretty massive in the UK. Trash reality TV for the most part. I’m in the same room as her and occasionally watch some of it. It’s actually a pretty decent look into all this stuff we talk about.
Some guy was getting to know this girl, and if they are “coupled up” they have to share a bed. They had a bit of a fiddle, scepter polished etc and then the next day he pulled her for a chat and said he’s not really feeling a connection or a spark. She’s then having a little cry about it to her mates who then get her to argue with him and say she ain’t taking none of that shit and she deserves much better, brings a lot to the table etc. I wonder if she would have been so upset about it if he had pulled her for that chat before the sexual intimacy.
Considering you’re an adult, you actually are in a place to do so, and throughout your life you will be in positions in which you’ll judge people even when they’re not causing harm to you or your family.
Actually your whole post is taking what I said out of context considering I wasn’t even thinking about the various ways countries handle their business.
There are definitely things I feel are wrong and “judge” but I try to be very very careful not to let that affect the way I interact with someone unless it is warranted.
For example, if someone says something I think is economically asinine in a conversation, I’ll roll my eyes internally, but I won’t think less of them as a person bc there’s a good chance my view is similarly biased.
If that same person steals something from me, I’d definitely judge
On the dating front, I have friends who are perpetually in and out of relationships. I don’t think it’s good for them (in terms of productivity, outcomes…), but I don’t think they are worse ppl and listen to their, often entertaining, breakup stories all the same. As a Behavioural scientist, it’s honestly been more beneficial than not since I’m not actively “in the field” myself
I might get slightly upset, but I brush it off. Same goes for compliments tbh.
For example, mum constantly judged my physique as “too masculine” (ie I am more muscular than most females my size). It’s annoying but I don’t care. On the other side, ppl have been saying that I look better despite me putting on some fat. I’d much prefer not to have that fat even if ppl say I look better
Many western countries aren’t sick in the manner America is regarding your high rate of divorce in particuar.
Even though the degree to which children are being born out of wedlock is on the decline, and the degree to which people are seeking out abortions is dropping… America still tops the majority of western countries on all stats involving sexual relations/romanticised relarions that you wouldn’t want a country to be associated with.
From looking at legislature put in place, much of the Western world has environmental archetypes put in place that on paper are similar too or even more permissive than the United States.
The “who are we to judge” from the perspective of individualism is a moot arguement because there exists a set of behaviours that clearly lead to problems for the majority. There is no use in catering towards outliers in order to justify the “why should I judge” ideology as revolving around this pattern of outliers is cognitively exhausting.
However we ought to be looking to societies that actually seem to function healthily. Which countries report the happiest, healthiest populations?
I’m aware what works in country A doesn’t work for country B, however perhaps we should look to the manner by which the happiest/healthiest countries approach variables such as dating and marriage so we can ascertain what “normal” is or could be?
It is perfectly acceptable to judge people, but i’m not set on a defined setpoint for normal within a country like America that is so abnormal to begin with. What is “normal” for a country that defies the status quo from that of other contemporary western societies?
If we refer to dating, normal for your country would be… the status quo for America. However that status quo deviates from most western countries in that your rate of divorce, abortion and teen pregnancy although lower than what it used to be is still higher than MOST western countries.
I suppose it depends on how we get into the semantics. For America, normal is a byproduct of the past. Americans modern sociocultural archetype is at odds with the majority of Western countries.
No, it wasn’t. They wouldn’t have known who she was.
Fatima was white. Besides, the term whitewash is a recent invention that wouldn’t apply to a point in history when race was not thought of as we think of it today.
Sooo… Dating sucks these days, at least in the States. Do we have unrealistic expectations? Are technology, the media, social media, changing societal values, and, yes, general affluence misdirecting our romantic relationship goals?
Duh. Resoundingly.
But that leaves unanswered the question - in this weird, new world, how does one acquire a compatible mate, especially when one’s “market value” and overall mate availability have both seemingly decreased??
Dear Internet Strangers and Quasi-Acquaintances, I await solid answers and sound insights into rectifying this most unfortunate situation.
