After reading your post, I’m shocked.
It’s been well observed that a mans market value can continue to rise into their 40s whereas for a woman it will decline. Being aware of that should give you confidence with someone close to your age, confidence being the attractive trait that should help even on it’s own. You actually have a lot of things in your favor as many of your potential ladies feel they are running out of time, as well as having high sex drives. If you’re successful in other areas of your life there’s the “I focused on my career, had no time for a man, now I realize I’m lonely as shit, but all the good men are taken” crowd.
Your biggest obstacle is finding someone who isn’t caught up in the social media stuff, or has let a history of bad relationships make them bitter against men. A potential kid is more likely to be in the mix too but at 40-something I don’t think that should be the turn-off the manosphere guys claim it is. With how common divorce is, not all single mothers come with a bunch of those bright red flags, and there will be plenty of decent women in that bracket if you can accept the kid too. When younger it is more of an issue but discarding a decent connection in that stage of your life because she has an ex-husband or a kid could be biting your nose off to spite your face. There are still woman out there without that “baggage” if you would call it that, but then you must query to yourself why she never managed to find a mate in her 20s/early 30s. It’s important not to get caught up in all this stuff and just try and put yourself in situations where you’ll meet someone and have something happen organically without worrying about all this crap we read on the internet.
If I was your age and single I’d probably join a spin class or zumba or something. Plenty of nice girls who lost themselves in their 30s and found themselves again losing that bit of chub they gained. We’d have the same connection with self-improvement right from the off which starts things off positively. OR if I just want some pointless fun I’d get to the pub down the road on a Saturday night to enjoy a glorified karaoke singer getting paid to play Mr. Brightside with a bunch of chainsmoking mid 40’s who live like they are still in their 20s.
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Many do.
Yes, along with all the destructive elements of the Sexual Revolution and breakdown of social institutions I’ve covered since the start of this thread. I’ll also include heavily shifted social dynamics that were not apparent in previous generations.
The market is broken. I wouldn’t discount dating apps despite them being used for “hooking up” and by people with outrageous expectations. Several relatives and friends of mine met their spouses with them. I met my wife from a dating site long ago, but this was before Tinder, and the scene has dramatically changed. I think if I were single now, I’d use them, but would sift through a lot of BS without being affected by it.
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I know two married couples that met though tinder. I think one can generally tell what the other person is looking for by profile and some chatting. Of course there are going to be people (mostly guys who do this) that pretend they want a serious relationship to get sex. I think it is unethical because the consent to sex was under false premises.
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Back then in the hivemind of early dating sites and meeting people online, it would be implied that you were a weirdo, desperate, or “you never really know who you’re meeting”. Now it’s not only normal but mostly considered the actual best way to meet someone. How fast that has changed is just another look into how humans as a society were ready for none of this shit.
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I used them in the aughts and early 2010’s. Some people did think they were not a good thing to use but I obviously benefited by finding a wife and before that had more than enough regrettable fun from them.
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That is true but women have the option of not providing sex for a man until she has some plausible evidence that this guy is serious. She can hold out for as long as she wants to, whether it be months or until marriage. So can men.
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Apps now are toxic waste dumps
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Hi guys, of course you know I’m totally oblivious. Just wanted to be sure.
If a really athletic, fit girl that you only know through IG for like a week or two, agrees to train with you, is she interested?
Also, I have been going out twice, and to my surprise, been having fun, went out of my zone of comfort and actually flirted and had great time with girls (yeah I know, shocking, outside of the gym).
Both time I really liked her I didn’t even asked for her social or contact I still need more courage in one case, the other I didn’t even think of it (Jesus what is wrong with me).
The other day I went and asked a girl that was eyeballing me in a restaurant for her contact. Didn’t lead anywhere but I was just proud of myself that I dared and still acted for something instead of being paralyzed by anxiety
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That’s awesome you’re branching out!!!
Depends on if it was a “put the lotion in the basket” agree or not.
Proud of you man.
There is no way of knowing what this woman wants. She does not know you. She might think you’re attractive, or she might consider a gym date nothing more than a diversion. This can be a woman you have one gym date with and never see again or it can be the woman you marry. No one knows. Go on the gym date if you want and see what happens.
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Not really dating but related.
There’s a friend who I’ve always admired, not (that one): brilliant economist, aligned/complementary research interests, has social skills like my little bro
I haven’t been able to socialise with him as much as I would have liked because he’s been so busy.
Anyways, I asked if he’d have time to meet up and he said yes!!
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Awesome. Did you just say “wanna meet up?” or is there some sort of context?
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Does he 100% not think it’s a date?
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more or less. I’ve been wanting to talk to him about research and grad school so I sort of framed it that way
I am fairly confident he doesn’t think it’s a date.
We haven’t interacted that much, except to occasionally share papers and research ideas
You’re a famous coach representing the best exercise scientists in your country now.
People will probably contact you looking knowledge and training information now. So maybe this woman will be like “all business” in they gym.
But if she messes with her hair a lot, like taking her pony tail out and then putting her hair back up like 30 times, you know she’s interested.
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Unless at the beach, I don’t think I’ve ever taken my ponytail out in public and put it back up.
This is not something women with curly hair do. FYI.
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It’s a “tell.”
It’s a totally unconscious action. You wouldn’t even remember that you did it.
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