Brah… there are so many pick up artists out there.
They can TeAcH any GuY "hoW tO bEcOmE a PlAyEr!
Haven’t you ever wondered how handsome, charismatic billionares net such attractive women? I’ll teach you… it’s all about alpha posturing!
I believe @isdatnutty, an old poster, once said that he was told by an uncle to always have the girl “go” twice to make sure he gets to “go” once.
I was probably 17 or 18 when I read that. It’s stuck with me lol
@BrickHead question
If you have qualms over sex before marriage and casual relations is to be frowned upon… what on earth is a young man supposed to do?
I’m not asking for advice, rather I’m wondering what YOU think a viable alternative is for a young man. If watching porn is (understandably) frowned upon, not only due to religious objections but moral and philosophical protestations and casual relations is (from your perspective) destructive no matter the precipice… how is one supposed to cope?
The “drive” I feel that is currently fuelling my wish to get out there and start dating again. This isn’t something I’m particularly accustomed to. If this is how most men feel all the time I can understand why they’d be looking for sex day in and day out regardless of whether they’re hitched or not. To note… I have been tapering off of antidepressants that I’ve been on for a long time.
If one can’t get married, either due to a lack of maturity or due to the whole concept being literally impossible at this point in time and due to circumstances procuring a long term partner isn’t feasible… why not opt for a quick, albeit exclusive fling (say over a month) with a SINGLE girl?
Otherwise the alternative is “live with the sex drive of an eighteen year old and do nothing about it”. That sounds like a powder keg waiting to explode.
The current dynamics of my life are difficult to comprehend. Chances are I’m going to be drifting around for quite a long time and therefore even the prospect of procuring a long term partner is unrealistic. If omicron causes Aus to shut everyone and everything out again chances are I won’t go home, I’ll continue university online which can be done from overseas.
I don’t want to hurt anyone… but I want to start dating again for companionship and… well… I think you understand what I’m getting at.
Why would I drift around? It beats the alternative of being stuck in Australia. It’s also one hell of an adventure! Seriously, it’s the most fun one will ever have.
I’ve found an outdoor gym where I am. It’s nuts, they have tyres and benches, a makeshift squat rack and all sorts of callisthenics equipment from pulluo bars to dip station’s to what appears to be crudely created rock climbing/obstacles courses etc.
The benches don’t take traditional barbells, rather a long steel cutting is the barbell and inside portions of old tyres are the “bumper plates”. You can load them up quite heavy, though it feels unstable and you can’t push as much weight. There’s also a boxing ring randomly situated outside.
Anyone can just walk up and use it. The area around the gym is sketchy though.
They also have tyres you can flip, and there’s this one HUUUUUGE tyre.
There’s also a powerlifting gym I go to as a relative goes there too. It’s amazing
Also found a place to box… I suppose this could serve as a distraction?
I cannot write at length now and although you don’t seek advice, I also haven’t given advice anyway. I don’t give unsolicited advice and I don’t think I should even be looked upon as some learned elder on the matter. I simply gave my take on gender dynamics and what I’d do if I were a single man in this day and age knowing what I know now, which should have been hammered home to me long before it was. However expecting a teenager with romantic yearnings to see the world for what it really is, is unlikely.
I did not marry as a virgin myself. And I think you have either forgotten or missed my posts in which I said avoiding sex before marriage is highly unrealistic for some in the current day.
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I’m not a teenager, would like to clarify this
However unfortunately when it comes to dating, I only really started in my 20’s (earlier this year) so as I’m late to the game and I’m not used to dealing with the feelings I’m currently dealing with, I equate it to “being a teenager” all over again.
I had a girlfriend when I was around fifteen, but we way we met wasn’t really “dating”. We were set up through a friend as we both had quite a bit in common. At the time (understandably) I didn’t have much of a libido.
By dating (I.e cold approaches, trying to meet women independently) only started earlier this year.
I turn 21 in one month
I saw one post where you specified it was a “silly expectation” in that it isn’t plausible for teenagers to remain virgin’s until they are 25-30. If there were others, chances are I’ve missed them.
My worry is that I accidentally hurt someone (emotionally) or I start seeing someone who is already in a relationship, but they lie to me about it
I’ve been hearing MANY anecdotal stories recently of women with boyfriends who mess around on the side (and vice versa). This idea absolutely sickens me, and I don’t want to become a part of that, unwillingly being the variable that shatters yet another relationship.
I meant when I was a teenager.
I said it was a silly expectation for Christians to expect their daughters to remain virgins until marriage while concomitantly pressuring them to climb the career ladder, and then marrying in their late 20s and 30s.
Ahhh, ok
If housing wasn’t so unaffordable and factory jobs could still string a man/woman along I think you’d see some swerve towards the academic avenue and others would opt for a trajectory more “set in stone” that guarantees one the ability to afford a home, the ability to raise a family etc.
This dynamic would enable the young to settle into adulthood quicker without as much uncertainty or confusion in which case many could get married younger (perhaps at my age)
At which point I’d say “remaining a virgin is tough, but it’s probably do able”. Granted I’m not a virgin… but it wouldn’t have been impossible to hold off…
As opposed to the expectation today one is to remain a virigin until they’re 30+
You don’t have to have a kid immediately after getting hitched. I don’t think 20-23 year olds should be having kids… late 20’s is generally my preference. You aren’t an adult, but you aren’t a kid
Chances are such a parent isn’t going to mollycoddle the shit out of their child given the parents may be somewhat childish themselves, but they aren’t going to be too lenient either as they’re old enough to properly comprehend children aren’t miniature adults and need guidance.
Jordan Peterson has some interesting commentary covering this particular concept.
I’m not a fan of current era young adults getting married either as this current generation of first world youths is particularly immature… many seem to lack basic life skills.
These people aren’t ready to get married. But by creating a paradigm wherein people are forced to mature quicker, by giving one say… a long term career that enables one to settle down at a young age, I imagine younger people could get hitched.
Quite a few members within my family got married at 18-20 back in the 1940’s-1980’s and the marriages (sometimes) worked out. Sometimes they ended in disaster though…
We’ve been through this before and I’ve yet to hear one rational answer other than it might be unaffordable in the current day at that age. The “frontal lobe” thing doesn’t cut it and my grandma at eighteen didn’t say to herself “I think I’ll wait til my brain is fully developed” while living in what some here would call a “Third World s—t hole” with hardly any money. Amazingly my mom was not abused, neglected, unloved, or starved.
Twenty to 23 year olds are adults! If a man or woman that age wants to do big boy/big girl stuff like have sex, drink, drive cars, etc., then they’re adults or should have the expectations of adults put on them. (My view.)
Interestingly a young man or woman can understand physics, engineering, medicine, and finance, practice law at 24 years old, handle heavy machinery and weapons, drive cars, boss people around, but can’t feed, play with, love, feed bathe, and read and sing to a baby.
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I don’t know the exact specifics of law
If it’s akin to medicine and you have to specialise afterwards and do internships and whatnot you can graduate at 23, but you won’t be practising
Provided everything is perfect, in Aus chances are you won’t be independently practising Medicine until 28 at the earliest.
20 y/olds can’t legally drink in the USA. Nor can they purchase handguns or smoke cigarettes.
How so? There is a metric crap ton of data indicative this makes a significant difference regarding one’s ability to reason rationally. However it isn’t set in stone at 25. You’ll have some who are more or less fully mature at twenty… or even eighteen for that matter whereas others might only fully mature at thirty. The median is 23-25
I hang around teenagers and young adults frequently. They represent quite a diverse spectrum . There are some 18 year olds who I legitimately think would be okay to raise a kid… whereas there are some 23 year olds who I wouldn’t even trust to take care of my dog for a day.
I can also give you plenty of examples from my family where the woman got married at eighteen to an abusive bastard of a husband… said woman sometimes gave birth to kids, only to separate and get re married.
The kids all turned out fine though.
I agree with you here. If a 20 year old does something really stupid, he or she should be expected to take responsibility in the same manner an adult would. The age for criminal responsibility is low
However what you’ve said here
Isn’t a “might”. Look into how expensive the cost of living in Australia (particularly Aus) is. Within countries like Spain, and many second world countries (say in South America) it is extremely possible for young people to have kids
As to why teenagers shouldn’t be having kids? Maternal mortality risk and… teenagers… just no… I think you’d agree with me here.
I’ll also add that many men in the West actually support things that make it harder for them to form families, let alone get dates.
I said “understand”, not practice.
Yup… but it’s not purposeful self sabotage.
Many aren’t aware of the ramifications associated with numerous policies/agendas they support.
No one would be stupid enough to purposefully create an environment wherein they can’t get a date.
Yeah, yet they do all that is mentioned while knowing what they’re doing. By this reasoning we shouldn’t give credit to those who excel and make wise decisions at those ages if after all they aren’t reasoning properly.
Yet they actually do. And no, I don’t mean every man can’t a date or find a woman.
Remember this? Young women and men can handle this supposedly without proper reasoning.
This is quite a black and white interpretation. Humans can bypass primitive urges to a degree. However the fact of the matter is, a 20 year old (on average) will have poorer impulse control, a higher penchant for emotional volatility than a 25 year old.
“But this person did well at 20”
Okay… but compare and contrast this individuals ability to think critically from age 20 vs 25… there’s a reason t-nation tends to shit all over people who choose to use steroids under the age of 25. Teenagers and young adults tend not to think about the long term repercussions.
However when a 26 year old wants to use 500mg test/wk… he’s above 25? Check… has he been training for a couple of years? Check… go ahead
But when a 20 y/old with six years of training under his belt comes up with the same scenario they’re typically put through the wringer.
I also don’t quite buy the argument of steroid use below the age of 25 (but above the legal age to drink) somehow inducing profound brain damage. Studies showcase long term use (in very high dosages) elicits subclinical cognitive deficits/transient neurotoxicity regardless of the age by which the individual started using. If anything, the younger guy is more likely to recover… but still, the younger guy is more likely to be making a spur of the moment, dumbass decision that might screw him up for life.
From your perspective, is there a difference between a 20 year old male and a 25 year old male deciding to take 500mgs of test/wk (even if you don’t think AAS should be abused to begin with)? If the answer is “yes”, then the same rhetoric can be applied to having kids. If you don’t believe there is a significant difference, then props to you for being consistent.
From an epidemiological perspective teen/young adult parents tend to eventuate negative outcomes.
Yes, it’s just calculus. You don’t need to be a genius to learn 11-12th grade maths. I haven’t done any serious maths since I graduated from high school aside from logarithmic equations, trigonometry, solving chemical equations/balancing equations, using algebra to discern the concentration of various gases/liquids etc when given a particular set of variables and whatnot
But give me a calculator and chances are I can still get by with a pass
You can be exceedingly intelligent from an academic perspective yet still be prone to making stupid life choices. I was an example of someone who didn’t need to study to do reasonably well in school, yet I didn’t always make the best decisions
And to boot… I was fully aware of the stupidity associated with my decisions + the potential long term consequences at the time. Yet I still went out to bars and clubs when exam time came around (stupid), I still got in trouble over meaningless spats.
Omg, there’s a Barnes and nobles reference at the bottom of the paper you’ve linked!
I miss Barnes and nobles so much. I’d run there from my house in the states, read books for free, enjoy a fizzy drink and a cookie or something.
Great store… great place to meet with friends too.
Who said you do?
Do you think you and I are compatible for such conversation? You seem to not get any of my points, have grievances with them, or don’t stay in context or nuance I’m speaking in.
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It depends on the country. Many developed nations offer law as a four-year, bachelor’s degree program. In the United States, law school is a three-year program after completing a bachelor’s degree. After graduation, people can take the bar, which is offered twice a year across the country, and start practicing law once they’ve passed the bar.
If a person were to finish a bachelor’s at 21, take the LSAT (Law School Aptitude Test) during their third or fourth year of college, and complete the lengthy law school application process during their fourth year of university, THEN go straight to law school and pass the bar shortly after, such a person could practice law at 24. Most people don graduate college a year early and go directly to law school; several factors, including personal focus, all have to align. However, it IS possible.
To the thread’s topic - I believe people in Western countries are no longer raised to be fully independent adults by 18 to 20 years old. Economic factors heavily push against adult autonomy, as well.
Biologically, we’re obviously capable of “adulting” as late teens to early 20-somethings. Yes, our brains and understanding are still developing, but learning and taking responsibility should be lifelong processes. However, there’s ample evidence of a cultural shift of raising young people, not to mature adult reasoning and behavior, but towards something that looks like protracted adolescence. Between social expectations of immaturity and economics that make it very difficult to adequately provide for a family, I believe waiting to marry and have kids is sensible and even preferable.
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Yes, I enjoy talking to you.
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