Get your head out of the gutter 
Just for that I’m gonna spot you on them!
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Deadlift - That’s just creepy.
The old full bearhug spot for squats though… totally legit.
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Same thing. Push their hips forward with yours while lifting the chest.
Definitely helps break from the floor. 
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Nice edit…hehe.
I’m gonna keep my eye on you.
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I literally lol’d from this. That was great.
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In the near future “I’ve seen your mom naked!” Will no longer be a farcical insult used by schoolyard bullies… It will be an insult used by schoolyard bullies that has truth behind it.
I don’t have a problem with women earning six figures though… Do you? Not trying to be disingenuous, rather I’m asking if you think it’s an issue if the woman is the take home earner?
From my perspective, one parent NEEDS to stay home for a large portion of time as to raise and be with a child growing up. I don’t care if a man or a woman plays that role, but I care about parents being involved with and shaping their children to develop into polite, kind and functional members of society.
From what I’ve been told, slut shaming and chastity developed in part due to large scale warfare and ensuing mass rapes that were associated with such an environment. If a woman has been raped and/or isn’t monogamous, back in the day it was impossible to ascertain as to whether the child she bore stemmed from the father’s seed.
Slut shaming exists on both spectrums too. I don’t like hearing “women are slut shamed, men aren’t”. In my circle of friends, a young adult male who sleeps around will be termed as being a “dog”, a “player” or a “fuckboy”. Do any of these three descriptive traits sound positive?
We will make jokes about STD’s, we will make jokes about this person having a poisonous penis because it has been everywhere. Women are considerably more stigmatised for it… But if you hang around my (new) core group; men won’t get a free pass either.
I think this is one pivotal area wherein we fundamentally disagree. Promiscuity needn’t be put up on a pedestal or promoted… But sexual experimentation between two intimate partners (even if they can’t afford or don’t want to get married right away) isn’t a bad thing.
Experimenting to see what you like in bed isn’t a bad thing either. Some people can only get off through certain positions, through digital stimulation and the likes. To set a rule book and say “you can do this, this and this… But not that, and you MUST be married” when it comes to consensual sex behind closed doors doesn’t seem sensible.
My brother and his girlfriend have been going out for (I think) nearly four years now and chances are they will get married soon. I don’t know if they are having sex (both are religious), but I certainly wouldn’t hold it against them or consider it immoral if they were.
There’s a middle ground, I don’t understand why people are so quick to jump to one extreme or another. Having sex with seventy people before you get married is gross… But a “Lay count” of three isn’t the end of the world and doesn’t paint a picture of an impulsive sexual deviant.
Were you a virgin prior to the advent of getting married? No… In today’s day and age where people get married in their late 20’s to early 30’s, staying chaste until marriage is a silly expectation. I’m sorry… It just is. If people were tying the knot at nineteen it would be far more reasonable.
However to a degree I think this
Would save many from being gripped by the helm of existentialist angst, nihilism and pessimism. Having a long term partner coupled with a family to bring up will equip many with a much needed sense of purpose.
With that being said, I don’t agree with marrying people off in quick succession. While you can’t wait forever, marriage is special. It is the sacred vow of unity, a lifelong courtship, an exclusive two party union. I sure as shit don’t want to end up marrying someone I am physically repulsed by and/or legitimately don’t like… Only to now be stuck in said marriage because I’ve got kids and don’t want to fuck the kids up through a divorce.
And quite frankly… I’m not sure if any decent woman is going to want to marry me. “Hey, I have this condition and there’s like a 99% chance we can’t have kids… Sorry brah. Will you still take me?” To be fair… That’s just me, and I’m complaining about it. With this in mind, I’m not for promiscuity; but to expect ME to wait until I find a mythical partner of apt character that is okay with this doesn’t seem sensible… And I’m not willing to martyr myself and stay celibate forever for the advent other men can have virgin wives. I’m going to look for a partner, I’m going to date… But I think marriage will be difficult for me…
And…? During summer holidays that’s what you do, hanging out tends to be supervised/in public spaces. You either spend time with your family or you spend time with your friends. After a certain point (i.e sixteen years of age) a child will start to drift away, attempting to assert independence. At which point it is sensible to start reducing day to day supervision. A teenager needs to be equipped with the skills to navigate the world independently. Sheltering the hell out of them until the day they turn 18 or 21, then sending them off to college is a recipe for disaster. The only way you can get away with this is if you raise them in an environment equitable to ultra orthodox Judaism.
How much control do you wish to impose over an adolescents day to day routine. Do you prefer authoritative parenting or authoritarian parenting?
Is there a problem with people straying away from the confines of their communities? If you confine one to a specific, tightly knit paradigm for their entire life you end up with an adult who can function… In that community, and only in that community. Once again, within knit communities like the Amish, that’s fine. In secular society it can be problematic. An ultra orthodox Jew, even if they wanted to… Is going to have tremendous trouble dating anyone other than an ultra orthodox Jew.
Plenty of young women aren’t allowed to go on spring break. After the age of 18 or the advent of financial independence the parents don’t really have a choice. I wasn’t allowed to go to schoolies (our equivalent of spring break) despite virtually my entire grade going… I went to Europe instead. Looking back at it, schoolies probably would have been the healthier option 
. I staged a stupid rebellion of absolutely gargantuan proportions. Not because I was a privileged brat… But because I waw an eighteen year old male with a nice amount of money saved up in Europe… Who took matters into his own hands and went to the Netherlands
I’d like to point out that a parent is not supposed to hear this. Where is this happening? What parent is allowing their child (minor/under 18) to attend these events? I don’t know of a single decent parent that would say yes to this. However after a certain point (18+ or financially independent) the parent has less and less of a say in the matter.
It is important that a child feels as if they can’t talk to their parents about almost anything… Like the birds and the bees, dating and perhaps even problematic youth degeneracy. However there are boundaries, and talking to your folks about the G string you want to wear or the promiscuous sex you want to have? That’s very odd. Granted in today’s day and age sometimes talking about some VERY uncomfortable subject matter with your child is required. Better they learn from the parents as opposed to learning from biased media, unrealistic magazines and the likes.
Let me fix this “no… Have some self respect, don’t wear that”. A normal bikini is revealing enough.
I’d also argue, the point your daughter is travelling interstate/internationally, staying at hotels independently and attending music festivals is probably the point where you wouldn’t have a say in the matter no matter the time period. What are you going to do to your 22 y/old daughter who doesn’t live at home? The aim is to raise your daughter to have dignity and self respect. What you’ve described sounds like someone on the quest for untapped hedonism
And I can relate to that, I’ve lived that lifestyle for a period of time… And it gets old… Fast. It’s pointless, interactions are superficial and whole paradigm is a fat, unproductive waste of time.
Generally speaking, people don’t usually get hurt. Rape/sexual assault isn’t lurking behind every corner, though it does happen. Causal sex at these events hardly ever result in pregnancy and/or strained long term relationships, and it’s not hard to not have sex at these events if you don’t want to whether you are male or female. The outrage people have over these festivals tends to be “but! People act like degenerates in a controlled, supervised environment… I don’t like that!” But if we factor out the moral outrage, these music festivals tend to serve as a controlled outlet for people to let off a bit of much needed steam after working full time five days per week, eight to ten hours per day for months on end. I wouldn’t recommend anyone’s child attend (to be fair… They can’t even if they wanted to, at least in Aus they can’t) and I wouldn’t tell adults to attend either. But I can see the allure and I don’t think these events are a huge issue… I find large scale events hosted around horse racing, Greyhound racing and bull running to be far more problematic.
Chances are I will be present at festivals in the future. They aren’t my cup of tea anymore, but if downloadfest/ozzfest and similar events pop up I’ll attend in a heart beat. I can’t ever forsee myself going to a ‘rave’ ever again though. Shitty music, repetitive dancing and the entire precipice of fun is based on how intoxicated you can get… Not for me.
I happen to not like most of these events anymore, they’re not for me. But they are restricted to ADULTS, and if an ADULT… Not a child… Wants to participate and behave like a degenerate for a day I see no reason to shove my personal vendettas down their throats and tell them they can’t. I’ve never been to spring break, but I’m assuming it’s akin to schoolies, meaning the hedonistic aspects are totally off limits to those below the age of eighteen (in US 21). If you want to change this, advocate for societal change on a systemic level, not control over one individual as the environment conducive to praising hedonism is still there… The excess temptation remains.
Keep in mind… This response has nothing to do with you as a person, I’m merely opening up the gates for a debate to occur IF you are interested in having this discussion.
It is not off topic, as this paradigm for better or worse envelops part of the dating scene today. Believe it or not I actually know a few people who met at these festivals..
I could be wrong, but from what I can perceive much of the fear you harbour is related to concern over the eventual outcome for your children. I wish you could meet my twin brother. Raised under the EXACT same circumstances relative to myself as we grew up together. He has never tried drugs, in terms of academic prowess he was the top 1% in the state, he is a kind, empathetic and caring character. He is religious (fairly strict). What gives? How come he turned out different?
What about yourself? You were exposed to various traumatic variables growing up, you were exposed to vice… Why is it you’ve turned out to be a kind, caring and well adjusted adult? You and I might disagree on quite a bit, though not nearly as much as we used to; but I’d like to point out this in no, way or shape makes you a flawed individual. I’m not perfect, far from it. I’d actually be a little bit worried if someone saw eye to eye with me 
From an epidemiological perspective, kids raised under X,Y and Z pretences eventuate a higher chance of an adverse outcome… But that doesn’t have to be the case.
Some people are screwed from the day they step foot on this earth, but most people have a reasonable capacity to make their own decisions.
Society doesn’t need to be built on the precipice that all constructs are appropriate for children to be around because the whole world doesn’t revolve around young kids. Society needs more safeguards, but not the elimination of adult orientated festivities, this includes various constructs associated with dating.
So, is this advice on how to get them on a date or how to become their best platonic friend?
(I’m teasing 
)
What if a girl asks you to spot them on squats?
There are women who don’t want to kids, or just want to adopt. I know of them. As long as you don’t play the martyr like you said, you’ll be fine.
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Unless women are getting married at the ages of 15-19, I think it is absolutely insane to harbour the expectation the woman should be a virgin. Hence I will not be adopting the martyr policy because I am not a saint… If I can find a wife I’ll be ecstatic. But if not, I’m not going to refrain from any and all sexual activity.
Women and men alike have strong sexual urges, there is a reason the ultra religious crowds tend to tie the knot young. It’s not a bad idea IF the two partners are compatible and choice of partner is involved. Data is indicative both arranged and secular marriages have a high degree of success if both partners voluntarily choose one another out of love.
However, from my perspective Men and Women alike within secular society shouldn’t be getting married below the age of eighteen at the very least. Preferably 25+. Prefrontal cortex development controlling impulse control, emotional bias, empathy etc doesn’t finish until early 20’s at the earliest.
The reason, aside from neurodevelopmental outcomes, is because society has changed. There is no utopian fantasy wherein getting married and having a kid at eighteen leads to financial prosperity, not to mention the maternal mortality risk associated with teenage pregnancy. That’s not how things work today… If it did, then it wouldn’t be a bad idea. But you need to work with what you’ve got.
Marriage is, to a degree, the pinacle adulthood and independence. People shouldn’t be tying the knot if they can’t even afford to pay rent.
At this point in time society is academically focused, career focused. You can’t get through med school when you’ve got a kid to raise… It’s just not happening.
Not to mention there is a breadth of academic literature indicative young couples who have children when young tend to report lower marriage satisfaction, lower quality of life. Likely due to the financial drain imposed nowdays incurred by having a kid.
Hence why plenty of people date, get married, sit on that marriage for a few years and get preggers when they are financially stable enough to support a child. Having a child that you can’t afford to raise in a decent neighbourhood, send to a decent school etc isn’t indicative of a positive outcome from my end
And yes… It’s fucked up that things are this way, it’s absolutely screwed up to think plenty who want kids are forced to hold off because they can’t afford it. But that is the way it is, and we can’t change that.
With that being said, most people want kids. If a woman told me she never wanted a kid… I’d either think she was too obsessed with work or she lacks maternal instinct, both character traits are problematic to me. I may be autistic, but I’d definately be interested in the prospect of bringing up a kid. I don’t mind the idea of adoption.
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@unreal24278 I am returning to work today after a two-week quarantine for having covid. So I don’t know if I can write lengthy responses to you or anyone in here or In the metal thread any time soon.
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I am glad to hear you have recovered 
How many hours per day do you work? I spend too much time on these forums… I work from very early morning into mid afternoon… So I generally have the entire late afternoon/evening to myself which I use up with
- gym
- combat sports
- t-nation forum
- spending time with family
- meeting up with friends at park for barbaque, kicking soccer ball around etc.
I like this. I’ve been doing a lot of reading about this kind of stuff lately, both for school and pleasure. I just read an article last night that mentioned the Amish (I know one Amish man does not speak for all Amish people and that beliefs can vary.)
I have to tell you a little story. There was a tour bus. Amish man got on and they asked him—what’s the difference between you and us?
Well, he said how many of you have television? All the hands went up. He said, how many of you, if you have a family, think you’d be better off without television? Practically all the hands went up. He said how many of you are going to go home and get rid of it? No hands went up.
He said that’s the difference between you and the Amish. Because we will do it. If it’s bad for the family, we will not have it.
I don’t think many Americans (can’t speak for Europeans, but there’s probably some similarities since we’re all Westerners) take that view. They probably do on some things - most wouldn’t abuse their kids since that’s bad (duh) but if something is possibly having a negative effect on their family but doesn’t appear to be inherently bad, how many would give it up? @SkyzykS mentioned a disconnection - how many people put away or get rid of their TVs, phones, etc. that weaken relationships? Not many. It’s hard to do and doesn’t feel like a wrong thing to be doing.
And yeah, people seem to think that freedom means you should be able to do whatever you want to do without ever being told no, and that you always deserve the best of everything. Since when has life worked out that way, haha.
@anna_5588 & @dt79 - Uh, Asian question (joking!). What would you say your perspectives are on the role you are expected to take / want to take regarding your parents and maybe grandparents as they age? Are you expected to take care of them, whether that means physically or financially? Do you want to? What did your parents do with their parents? Are views on this changing with the times? Are your views commonly held?
Oh, I know. I’m sure life was so different back then that the times can’t really be accurately compared, but when talking to my grandmother and other “old” people it just doesn’t seem like people felt so lost.
I honestly don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think people need to be stoned to death or anything for it, but there’s very little consequences, even socially in some places, for such actions these days and I don’t see how that’s a good thing. I know a man with 12 children with probably 8-12 women, and a woman who probably had 20 secret partners while married to her first husband. Both were able to walk away from their mistakes pretty unscathed and continue on in their harmful lifestyles. I don’t like to see that.
I also don’t think this was a bad thing. I’m sure there can a “too far” point with this attitude, and if you reach that you may just drive the girl straight to the bad boy you’re warning her of, but I think being more aware of the young men in your community and their character is a good. I can think of countless examples from high school where men I knew or who my dad worked with were talking about their daughter’s new boyfriend and how much they hated him (as in, thought he was a bad guy, not just that they didn’t think anyone was good enough for their daughter). Usually they weren’t too far off - the guys would pressure the girls into sexual acts before they were ready, they were emotionally manipulative and with a couple of carefully worded texts could leave the girl spending the rest of her evening crying in her room, or just took advantage of her having money, a car, etc. The dads had no idea who these guys were or what they were like before all this was happening.
Again though, if you go too far, you just drive the daughter away. So figuring out how to navigate that is tricky.
Oh yeah! This is 100% not just a female thing. In fact, in middle school, I knew of more guys who had 5+ “exes” (which, was does that even mean at 12 years old?) than girls who did. By high school, most of the girls were looking for guys to treat them well and the guys were still just looking for their “flavor of the month” (a term used by my pastor a while back, haha). My best friend’s little brother and his friends was getting “nudes” on Snapchat from 20+ girls by the time he hit 9th grade. 9th graders should still be kids, not having sexual experiences that some people haven’t had by 30 years old.
Mine too, I just didn’t listen. Anymore though, I agree with them. And I mostly agreed with them at the time too, my hormones just didn’t. There are plenty of people who get into relationships at a young age and still have productive, fullfilling lives of their own, but in my own experience, most middle/high schoolers (things are different in college) I knew who dated frequently would lose interest in grades, sports, extracurriculars, friends, and family. Their whole world would become their new beau, and then they’d be heartbroken a month later, and then the process would repeat again. One of my bosses was bragging about how his 5 year old son was kissing a line of girls during recess. Like, why is that a thing? Maybe it’s completely harmless, but does it do any good? This same kid makes remarks about his babysitter’s looks and the dad loves it. Is this cultivating a healthy attitude about women and dating? Should he even be aware of these things at 5 years old?
I don’t know. I just think kids should be kids, and people should still be kids until 15-16 years old. Figure out who you are, not who you think Joey or Becky from homeroom wants you to be.
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What denomination are you, if you don’t mind me asking? I converted to Catholicism this past April and attend Latin Mass. I can no longer bring myself to a Novus Ordo church. So I’m sure you get my line of thinking for all we touched upon regarding child raising and “dating”. I put dating in quotes because I consider modern dating to be generally disordered.
I once spotted a chick at the gym for a heavy squat. She is a pretty strong chick (and has crazy delts, almost DLB like), I think she was going for about 350 in knee wraps. Well she missed the rep, and me not wanting to be weird kinda grabbed high on her stomach, but not breasts. That was a mistake. We got the bar into the j-cups, but my approach caused her to round her upper back. She was fine though. She told me next time to “just grab my tits”. About a week later I was spotting one of her friends, and she joked at me “if this goes wrong, just go for second base”.
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I’m not sure what you’ve witnessed during your high school years. But I’ve got stories, one of them about a naive and stupid fourteen-year-old female who was pushed to provide oral sex on numerous boys in a night on several occasions in a house with no supervision. So when I express that a young girl around list-filled young men with alcohol and weed flowing isn’t fun and games, that’s why. I’ve got other stories aside from this one.
I’ll be back to this later, lit to answer
I don’t mind. I’ve actually spent most of my teenage and college years at a nondenominational church. The pastor gives some great sermons.
For a while I did go to an Pentecostal/Assemblies of God church. Those first few times were a little terrifying, haha. Hadn’t ever experienced anything like that before. Over time though there became some things that I really liked about it. Had some of the most spiritually powerful moments of my life.
I really don’t know much about the different denominations so I don’t know if there’s one that I actually align with. And of course, different pastors/churches will all be a little different, even if part of the same denomination. Learning more about what makes each one “unique” is something I’d like to do.
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I’m not really expected to do much. but I WANT to do everything I can. If that means taking leave of absence from work to handle a medical emergency, I’ll do that.
My parents have a relatively hands off role because they went to the US and had siblings who live/lived close to their parents (my mum’s parents have both died). With that said, both sent considerable amount of money back and paid for medical expenses.
Yes. Parents expect a lot less from their kids and spoil them (me included btw)
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After having witnessed shit like this I can understand as to why you are so concerned about kids hanging out unsupervised.
I never saw anything along the lines of this, and at the age of fourteen I was hanging around some fairly bad kids. If there’s one thing you can credit woke culture for, it is the hindrance of this type of behaviour.
Booze can make some people a bit rapey, I’ve never seen pot eventuate that outcome. What’s more, if the intake of alcoholic beverages turns someone into an ass… Chances are they’re an ass to begin with. Choose who you hang around with wisely, particularly if there is alcohol involved.
I’m with @jshaving
You can’t control every aspect of a 16y/Olds life. You can try, but it typically results in rebellion. I’ve seen this occur literally over a dozen times.
“Kids being kids” doesn’t equate to young adolescents drinking beer and smoking pot either. There’s a time and a place for that, it’s called college…
I grew up without a TV, so I can tell you the pressure to comply with social norms is high.
Within my own life now, the only use I have for TV is as a way to decompress with my better half at the end of the day. We put some trash on and chat away, in a way that I don’t think we could do in other contexts. I also absolutely see the value in “shared experiences” for social interactions as a whole. How many conversations revolve around the latest big series like Game of Thrones or whatever?
That is freedom. But that also includes the freedom to suffer the consequences of your actions. People tend to not like that part.
This is something that capitalism relies heavily on. “You are special, you are wonderful and if you just buy this product, we can help you realise what a special and wonderful little star you are”. It’s the classic sales pitch written large across a whole society.