The Art of Business

Off Topic
61

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Professor X wrote:
michael2507 wrote:
hedo wrote:

Physically yes you may be right. The responsibilities one assumes as the age are a shared experience that binds you together. Unless you plan is to remain unencumbered by a family, possessions and a career.

I face up to responsibilities when necessary but I don’t intend on assuming significantly more of them as I get older. I don’t want to have children and I choose to manage my possessions in a way that burdens me the least. As for career responsibilities, my professional life is an important aspect, a career isn’t a priority that I will pursue at all costs, though.

To me, income and possessions serve as a means of providing me freedom, freedom to be myself and do what I actually want to do. They are not an inherent and terminal goal. On that note, restricting this freedom to a large extent in order to excel doesn’t make sense in my case - at some point, the effort I put into those two areas simply brings about diminishing returns.

The one thing I would like to avoid is becoming one of those people who become trapped in their own career prison. They buy more and more shit and take on more and more responsibility until they literally have to work 50+ hours a week just to maintain their lifestyle and several bills.

I consider that no different than those guys who end up with 5 or 6 illegit children from 5 different women and now have to spend the rest of their lives making child support payments and only getting 20% of their own income.

Sometimes it helps to wear a condom.

Sometimes it helps to not aquire so much shit.

Very true. Buy a house you can afford.
Don’t buy new cars every 5 years. Resist the urge to keep up with the Jones’.

Have kids only when you are ready and make sure the mother is someone you can spend the rest of your life with.

It is nice to live debt free.[/quote]

I have a decent number of friends who are living with the “Golden Handcuffs”. They get out of law school, go and work at some big firm and live right up to their last penny. Later, when they decide they hate the law firm environment (as so many do), they literally [i]cannot[/i] leave because they cannot afford it… despite make $150K or so a year. It’s nuts.

62

[quote]Kuz wrote:

I have a decent number of friends who are living with the “Golden Handcuffs”. They get out of law school, go and work at some big firm and live right up to their last penny. Later, when they decide they hate the law firm environment (as so many do), they literally [i]cannot[/i] leave because they cannot afford it… despite make $150K or so a year. It’s nuts.[/quote]

o c’mon kuz you mean they can’t bring themselves to buy a subaru or they can’t figure out how to go bankrupt ? :wink:

63

A book that really helped me is called “The Gentleman’s Guide To Life” by Steve Friedman. Good info about dealing with bosses and social situations. also gets his point across through humor which made it a fun read.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
Sometimes it helps to wear a condom.

Sometimes it helps to not acquire so much shit.[/quote]

Beautiful!! If only more people realized this.

65

[quote]swivel wrote:
Kuz wrote:

I have a decent number of friends who are living with the “Golden Handcuffs”. They get out of law school, go and work at some big firm and live right up to their last penny. Later, when they decide they hate the law firm environment (as so many do), they literally [i]cannot[/i] leave because they cannot afford it… despite make $150K or so a year. It’s nuts.

o c’mon kuz you mean they can’t bring themselves to buy a subaru or they can’t figure out how to go bankrupt ? ;)[/quote]

lol I know a few people schooled enough in bankruptcy that they could probably figure it out well enough.

And yeah, I think some of them could not bring themselves to trade in their Saab/BMW/Lexus/Audi to get a… GASP… Subaru.

66

[quote]Darren 2.0 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
Sometimes it helps to wear a condom.

Sometimes it helps to not acquire so much shit.

Beautiful!! If only more people realized this. [/quote]

I worked at a big law firm out of law school. Mostly because of the “schmooze factor,” I hated every minute of it. I really thought I might snap and beat the shit out of a senior partner/weasel. I was older than most associates there, had already established the principles above, and was able to make an easy transition out of that crap. My words of wisdom, paraphrasing some of the comments above : make sure you own your stuff, don’t let it own you. Those guys that can’t leave a six figure job? Their stuff owns them.

67

I feel ya. I don’t watch any mainstream sports. Plain and simple. I could give a rats ass about football or basket ball. Baseball is boring.

Inevitably there will some sort of conversation about sports at any meeting I goto. So what do I do. I get to work and do some home work. Watch sports center the night before and gets some of the highlights. I admit to them I didn’t have time to watch the game but caught the highlight reels later. Make some good comentary and then get out. Get my work done and go work out.

I am loner by nature (Only child). The only reason I need these people is for a paycheck. So I suck it up and smooze. I guess I am faily decent at it. I just wait for my lunch break when I can be alone and do my own thing. Every one thinks I am friendly and I care. When in reality I don’t. They are none the wiser.

The way I look at it. Most every one feels the same way. You just have to put on the mask and play the part when your at work.

My fiends know me, my family knows me. Thats all I need.

69

[quote]combatwombat wrote:
I feel ya. I don’t watch any mainstream sports. Plain and simple. I could give a rats ass about football or basket ball. Baseball is boring.

Inevitably there will some sort of conversation about sports at any meeting I goto. So what do I do. I get to work and do some home work. Watch sports center the night before and gets some of the highlights. I admit to them I didn’t have time to watch the game but caught the highlight reels later. Make some good comentary and then get out. Get my work done and go work out.

I am loner by nature (Only child). The only reason I need these people is for a paycheck. So I suck it up and smooze. I guess I am faily decent at it. I just wait for my lunch break when I can be alone and do my own thing. Every one thinks I am friendly and I care. When in reality I don’t. They are none the wiser.

The way I look at it. Most every one feels the same way. You just have to put on the mask and play the part when your at work.

My fiends know me, my family knows me. Thats all I need. [/quote]

Plus, you might have the best screen name I have seen on this site…

(And I sort of dig the typo in your last line… your “fiends”. lol Please don’t change it! It sounds more sinister that way).

70

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Sometimes it helps to wear a condom.

Sometimes it helps to not aquire so much shit.[/quote]

Two things that far too many forget.

71

[quote]thighlord wrote:
You need to be true to yourself!

Maybe this video can help you.[/quote]

Funniest video ever.

72

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I’m not anti-social… I hate pretend.[/quote]
I’m fairly young and new in my profession, but I think I know exactly where you’re coming from.

If you’ve already decided that you’re sticking with your line of work then I guess you have to accept that you have to subtley alter your conversation/behaviour sometimes to suit business situations (not that big of a deal anyway, most people don’t say the same things having dinner with their parents that they would watching a football game with their friends - everyone adjusts slightly to suit the situation).

That said, I wouldn’t adjust my conversation to the point where I was basically trying to make myself look like someone I’m not (which alot of people do). Besides of which, like PGA said, alot of these guys (especially at, or near, the top) aren’t as stuffy as you might think, and some of the ones who are don’t want to be (guys in their own career-prisons just waiting for the chance to go out on day release!).

When I first started in my current position, one of the things I noticed was that at meetings that ran through lunch-time (even internal meetings with no outside companies or anything) no-one would eat the sandwiches or lunch food brought in to the meeting room & full trays of food would be thrown out afterwards. It was one of those wierd politeness-gone-mad things that nobody wanted to be the first to reach over and grab some food?

Me being me, I ate about the half the tray by myself at the first meeting I was at - I know this sounds very trivial, but I knew from the looks I was getting from my project manager that I was breaking some kind of status quo.
What happened? Everyone else dug in and ate the rest of the food, wonderfully happy that they were finally ‘allowed’ to do it.

The point is, sometimes if you just act like yourself, crack a few jokes & generally don’t act like a corporate robot, alot of people will be glad you did and let down their own front a bit.
I don’t think I’m much like the people I work with, but I just act like myself & they act like themselves & we all seem to accept that and get along just fine.

73

[quote]combatwombat wrote:
I feel ya. I don’t watch any mainstream sports. Plain and simple. I could give a rats ass about football or basket ball. Baseball is boring.

Inevitably there will some sort of conversation about sports at any meeting I goto. So what do I do. I get to work and do some home work. Watch sports center the night before and gets some of the highlights. I admit to them I didn’t have time to watch the game but caught the highlight reels later. Make some good comentary and then get out. Get my work done and go work out.

I am loner by nature (Only child). The only reason I need these people is for a paycheck. So I suck it up and smooze. I guess I am faily decent at it. I just wait for my lunch break when I can be alone and do my own thing. Every one thinks I am friendly and I care. When in reality I don’t. They are none the wiser.

The way I look at it. Most every one feels the same way. You just have to put on the mask and play the part when your at work.

My fiends know me, my family knows me. Thats all I need. [/quote]
No offence to you combatwombat, and you’re free to work whatever way you want to, but to me your post represents a great personal fear of mine - I never want to be in a situation like that where I’m pretending and smoozing.

I see it all the time, guys who send e-mails to their bosses first thing in the morning and last thing at night, always keeping a half eye out for the boss so they know when to look busy, cracking jokes with colleagues about subjects they have no interest in, etc.

I hate all that crap and I deliberately don’t do it - and if that means that I need to work extra hard for a while to rubber stamp my professional reputation, without having to compromise who I am when I’m at work then that’s what I do.

74

schmoozing is business and business is schmoozing. just look at the most direct businesses in this country, vegas casinos, for proof of this. do you think the director at the bellagio is really THAT happy to see you ? do you think you were upgraded because they really care about how well you’re sleeping ? of course not.

but you still feel damn good about it…and feeling damn good is enough. i fail to see how making someone feel damn good about doing business with you, even if you feel like ass that day, somehow diminishes one’s integrity.

75

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
Some of it is just taking a genuine interest in finding out about other people.

I remember reading an article in SI many, many years ago on why Magic Johnson was such a media presence and a big success while Kareem Abdul Jabbar didn’t seem as interesting to people. Kareem was arguably a better player (though it was an argument), they were both on the same big-market team, etc., etc.

The author said the difference between the two boiled down to this: When you asked Kareem how he was doing, he would answer: “Fine, thanks.” When you asked Magic how he was doing, he would answer, “Pretty good. How are you?”
[/quote]

Just an update…The “…and how are you?” works. 'Nuff said. This will now become a part of my bullshit dialogue in most situations.

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I don’t think I have ever met someone who hasn’t surprised me with something about themselves that I simply did not expect.

Don’t be too quick to judge them.

I am not saying you’ll be best buddies but at least, you might be surprised, or entertained, or interested.

Are the people you are talking about are professors, or heads of department / hospitals, or are you changing sectors e.g to finance or something? There is a big difference between the industries.

[edit]

aha I only had page 1 before now I see 3 pages of excellent replies.

well I can’t add much but if there is someone you don’t like, be real nice to them but always talk to them with your face only 8 inches from theirs. They will steer clear of you every chance they get.

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While I agree with the idea that being ‘pretend’ or ‘fake’ is shitty, I think it kinda falls back on you the individual. Most people don’t see themselves as cookie cutter corporate shmucks. Everyone feels they have an individual identity with unique interests and talents – everybody.

And you know what? Usually they’re right. The key is to dig past ‘office talk’ and the usual ‘how’s the weather’ bullshit. There tends to be an interesting individual underneath most gray suits, but you need to ask some questions.

Now, if you just generally don’t find people interesting, that’s different. Some people just aren’t interested in connecting with others. That’s fine, but realize you’re the reason others aren’t interesting to you – it’s not them.

78

Didn’t Kareem fuck like 10,000 women?

If so then I think I might choose to act like him rather than Magic.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
BostonBarrister wrote:
Some of it is just taking a genuine interest in finding out about other people.

I remember reading an article in SI many, many years ago on why Magic Johnson was such a media presence and a big success while Kareem Abdul Jabbar didn’t seem as interesting to people. Kareem was arguably a better player (though it was an argument), they were both on the same big-market team, etc., etc.

The author said the difference between the two boiled down to this: When you asked Kareem how he was doing, he would answer: “Fine, thanks.” When you asked Magic how he was doing, he would answer, “Pretty good. How are you?”

Just an update…The “…and how are you?” works. 'Nuff said. This will now become a part of my bullshit dialogue in most situations.[/quote]

Pretty much, I read this book this past spring and need to reread it sometime soon, despite the fact that it was written so long ago it still has a lot of validity in this day and age.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

After reading some chapters in this book, I could immediately see where I’ve gone wrong in the past. Hope this helps.

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[quote]carter12 wrote:
Didn’t Kareem fuck like 10,000 women?

If so then I think I might choose to act like him rather than Magic.

[/quote]

That was Wilt Chamberlain.

81

[quote]t-ha wrote:
combatwombat wrote:
I feel ya. I don’t watch any mainstream sports. Plain and simple. I could give a rats ass about football or basket ball. Baseball is boring.

Inevitably there will some sort of conversation about sports at any meeting I goto. So what do I do. I get to work and do some home work. Watch sports center the night before and gets some of the highlights. I admit to them I didn’t have time to watch the game but caught the highlight reels later. Make some good comentary and then get out. Get my work done and go work out.

I am loner by nature (Only child). The only reason I need these people is for a paycheck. So I suck it up and smooze. I guess I am faily decent at it. I just wait for my lunch break when I can be alone and do my own thing. Every one thinks I am friendly and I care. When in reality I don’t. They are none the wiser.

The way I look at it. Most every one feels the same way. You just have to put on the mask and play the part when your at work.

My fiends know me, my family knows me. Thats all I need.
No offence to you combatwombat, and you’re free to work whatever way you want to, but to me your post represents a great personal fear of mine - I never want to be in a situation like that where I’m pretending and smoozing.

I see it all the time, guys who send e-mails to their bosses first thing in the morning and last thing at night, always keeping a half eye out for the boss so they know when to look busy, cracking jokes with colleagues about subjects they have no interest in, etc.

I hate all that crap and I deliberately don’t do it - and if that means that I need to work extra hard for a while to rubber stamp my professional reputation, without having to compromise who I am when I’m at work then that’s what I do.

[/quote]

I really don’t see it as a compromise of who I am. It’s about adaptation and survival to make you life more lucrative. 99% of the people at work are just putting on a front. Its just the nature of the business world.

I just treat it like a game, have fun with it and make my money. it doesn’t alter who am. People who rise to the top learn how to work it to their advantage.

Of course the type of people who can’t handle i need to just get a cabin in woods and live off the land.