My younger brother just got his PhD in theology, and is going to Columbia to teach.
I read his dissertation, and he misspelled his own name.
ELEMENTS OF APOCALYPTIC ESCHATOLOGY IN JEWISH AND CHRISTIAN
LITERATURE OF THE LATE SECOND TEMPLE PERIOD.
I’m on my phone so I don’t feel like fixing the all-caps writing.
…
If you have three parents, nothing is too weird for you.
Technically I’ve had . . . eight? Biological dad, first wife, biological mother, divorce mother, highschool mother, stepdad, ghost of his first wife, third marrage.
Its more like family kudzu than a family tree at this point.
What are his thoughts on attempts to immanetize the eschaton?
Au contraire mon frère.
He has had a couple now that were/are quite hot. One even made the ahego face at me as we were chatting during the parent/teacher conference.
Unfortunately (or not 
) he’s just a bit young at this point to appreciate them the way we do.
Not sure. I’m an atheist, so I don’t care.
Here’s the table of contents, if you think it’s interesting.
Thats waaay beyond me.
Read the Bible a couple of times but far from being a scholar. Too many people left me with a really bad impression of what it all means, so I formed my own opinion of it and they can all screw off.
My brothers had a social studies teacher last year who was young and presumably pretty. I’ve never seen her. Last year I guess some kid who was probably in…8-10 grade (somewhere in that range) went into her classroom when she was gone and laid across her desk with his pants off. He might’ve had a flower in his mouth. You know, like this:
(But I don’t think he took his shirt off.)
I think his thoughts were something like “Hey, if she says no, it’s a funny joke. If she says yes, lucky me.”
Pretty sure he got kicked out of the school.
That’s a dangerous age. When I was in 9th or 10th grade, I was in German class and some kid put his head down on the desk. The teacher went over, still lecturing to get his attention.
Which she already had, due to what happens next.
Tapped him on the shoulder and he leaps up, pants fully around his ankles, leaps up hitting his boner on the desk, apparently the adrenaline made his act complete, then trips and falls on the ground due to pants around the ankles.
Public school, if that’s relevant, and he was there for a few more days, but the mocking got so bad that he got transferred.
I feel worse for the teacher though. She was nice, and cared about what she did.
I’m really glad we didn’t have cell phones when I was in school.
We did have student-teachers and first year teachers though! 
Even sans back surgery and with fucked up shoulders, I can still lift more than all of you.
I win.
Plus, I know I could easily lift more than all of those Roman pussies. They didn’t even have steroids, peasants.
So many questions. I guess the main one is that no one could see that his pants were off?
He sat in the back right desk in the corner of the classroom. I also sat in the back, but a couple desks down. I had someone complain that I was too tall and blocked their view, so I sat in the back as a courtesy, then had the waterfall of bullshit that students who sit in the front are somehow better.
Anyway, everyone was facing forward, I remember he had grey sweatpants, and there was a larger aisle in the space to get to a bookshelf, so he found his power cave.
Ok. Lets just assume thats all true, without the obligatory front squats to the death duel.
Do you have any openings for henchmen?
Not like evil ones, just really frustrating ones. I can do all kinds of stuff like drive slowly in the left lane with my blinker on, fart in elevators, and I’m great with repetitive loud noises.
Yes, especially ones that have the ability to build me machines of death.
Oh.
Well I’m actually really good with that.
We could modify the chute on a chipper, remove the hitch arm, remount as a pair, then put end plates that match the bumper mounts on your truck, so you can drive through angry crowds of peasants turning them into pink mist and bone chips!
You’ll make Caligula look like a Care Bear!
This is what I’m talking about.
I also own a fleet of semis.
I’ll join in and we can make everything fly!
I built a shark catapult once, does that count?
