The 10 Roid Commandments

I was listening to biggie’s “10 crack commandments” this morning, thought I’d come up with my own, might be good for a laugh…

(Chuck D) “One two three four five six seven eight nine”

Uhh, it’s the ten roid commandments
What, uhh, uhh
Nigga can’t tell me nothin bout this test, uh-huh
Can’t tell me nothin bout this Tren, this D bol
To my hustlin niggaz
Niggaz in the squat rack I ain’t forget you niggaz
My triple plate benchin’ niggaz, word up

(Chuck D) “One two three four five six seven eight nine”
“TEN”

I been in this iron game for years, it made me a animal
200 pounds and ripped, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your game on track, not your wig pushed back

Rule nombre uno: never let a newbie know
How many sources you hold, cause you know
The Feds got internet speed 'specially
if that man got post 1, catch a case before ya done,

Number two: never let em know your next move
Don’t you know T-men move in silence or violence
Take it from one whose effects been felt (uh-huh)
I done squeezed mad syringes into glutes and delts

Number three: Make sure you feed properly
Make sure ya stuffed, properly gassed up
Steak and potato up, shit, for that fast pump
4000 plus calories to blow that ass up

Number four: know you heard this before
Get ya self clean needles from the needle store,

Number five: never sell no juice where you lift at
I don’t care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce,

Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
Ya think a internet pharm won’t turn ya over, shit forget it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
Make sure every shot ya take is properly aspirated
Roids and blood don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number eight: It’ll put some weight on you
Hit that treadmill while your on, protect ya cardio too

Number nine shoulda been number one to me
Don’t start a cycle without ya PCT
If ya balls start shrinkin I ain’t tryin listen
You’ll be sittin’ in ya kitchen, with ya nips itchin’

Number ten: a strong word called stackin’
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain’t got the knowledge say hell no
Cause you don�??t want to end up with gyno,

Follow these rules you’ll have mad gains to speak of,
If not, D cup titties, on the wake up
Test hit your heart valve, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass
Your girl fucked my man Cy up, heard in three weeks
she sucked a whole thing of Surge up
Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a steak up
Gotta go gotta go, more test to bake up, word up, uhh

Crack king, Frank Blizzard
Uhh

[quote]bigbugga wrote:
I was listening to biggie’s “10 crack commandments” this morning, thought I’d come up with my own, might be good for a laugh…

(Chuck D) “One two three four five six seven eight nine”

Uhh, it’s the ten roid commandments
What, uhh, uhh
Nigga can’t tell me nothin bout this test, uh-huh
Can’t tell me nothin bout this Tren, this D bol
To my hustlin niggaz
Niggaz in the squat rack I ain’t forget you niggaz
My triple plate benchin’ niggaz, word up

(Chuck D) “One two three four five six seven eight nine”
“TEN”

I been in this iron game for years, it made me a animal
200 pounds and ripped, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your game on track, not your wig pushed back

Rule nombre uno: never let a newbie know
How many sources you hold, cause you know
The Feds got internet speed 'specially
if that man got post 1, catch a case before ya done,

Number two: never let em know your next move
Don’t you know T-men move in silence or violence
Take it from one whose effects been felt (uh-huh)
I done squeezed mad syringes into glutes and delts

Number three: Make sure you feed properly
Make sure ya stuffed, properly gassed up
Steak and potato up, shit, for that fast pump
4000 plus calories to blow that ass up

Number four: know you heard this before
Get ya self clean needles from the needle store,

Number five: never sell no juice where you lift at
I don’t care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce,

Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
Ya think a internet pharm won’t turn ya over, shit forget it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
Make sure every shot ya take is properly aspirated
Roids and blood don’t mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number eight: It’ll put some weight on you
Hit that treadmill while your on, protect ya cardio too

Number nine shoulda been number one to me
Don’t start a cycle without ya PCT
If ya balls start shrinkin I ain’t tryin listen
You’ll be sittin’ in ya kitchen, with ya nips itchin’

Number ten: a strong word called stackin’
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain’t got the knowledge say hell no
Cause you don�??t want to end up with gyno,

Follow these rules you’ll have mad gains to speak of,
If not, D cup titties, on the wake up
Test hit your heart valve, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass
Your girl fucked my man Cy up, heard in three weeks
she sucked a whole thing of Surge up
Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a steak up
Gotta go gotta go, more test to bake up, word up, uhh

Crack king, Frank Blizzard
Uhh
[/quote]

Hahaha beautiful

Thanks for reminding me how much I hate rap.

LOL… Yeah Rap sucks…

Sorry but it does…

I was entertained by it! Good work.

On a somewhat unrelated note, it always irks me when someone discredits an entire genre of music so easily. Of course, there’s good and bad in everything…

But that’s a discussion for another time and place.

If you imagine bigbugga as Ali G than it isn’t too bad. When did you start lifting Sasha? Do you have car with pussy magnet?

[quote]firestanggt wrote:
Thanks for reminding me how much I hate rap.[/quote]

whoa, that hurts man…

goes to fly off into roid rage

[quote]Hagar wrote:
If you imagine bigbugga as Ali G than it isn’t too bad. When did you start lifting Sasha? Do you have car with pussy magnet? [/quote]

Hahah…imagine me more as borat rapping…
very niiiice, how much?

[quote]firestanggt wrote:
Thanks for reminding me how much I hate rap.[/quote]

Something tells me you couldn’t dance with a girl or in a club if your life depended on it. Do you even know what a beat is? What about rhythm?

Or does all music have to sound like a second generation inbred from Alabama with no testicles ate something bad and shit it out onto a scratched disc?

Sorry I’m overreacting but PLEASE PLEASE don’t use Biggie as an example for your hate for rap. Maybe Ja Rule or Kevin Federline. Notorious BIG was what Guns n Roses/ Metallica/ Led Zeppelin was to rock. Sorry I couldn’t resist…

Great post BTW…

Haha I think relating Biggie to Zeppelin is going a bit far. One def has more staying power, such as if you ask a middle school rock listener who Zeppelin is they all know, now ask a rap listening middle schooler who biggie is and you’ll be called old.

[quote]Prov1da wrote:

Something tells me you couldn’t dance with a girl or in a club if your life depended on it. Do you even know what a beat is? What about rhythm?

[/quote]

I don’t like men so no I can’t/won’t dance in a club.

I play guitar so yes I know what a beat/rhythm is.

What mostly disgusts me about rap is the lyrics. And it even shows in the original post. Half the lyrics are either nigger, motherfucker, or uh uh.

Just mu opinion. ,,/ ,,/

[quote]firestanggt wrote:
Prov1da wrote:

Something tells me you couldn’t dance with a girl or in a club if your life depended on it. Do you even know what a beat is? What about rhythm?

I don’t like men so no I can’t/won’t dance in a club.
[/quote]
^ does not make sense.

[quote]
I play guitar so yes I know what a beat/rhythm is.

What mostly disgusts me about rap is the lyrics. And it even shows in the original post. Half the lyrics are either nigger, motherfucker, or uh uh.

Just mu opinion. ,,/ ,,/[/quote]

I used to be into Rap, when I was 12 or so…LOL
Rock and Roll guy here, well country is good to…I am from Texas so you knwo we love are Counrty here…

I am just giving you a hard time, it was a good post…

Take Care

Jace

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

^ does not make sense.
[/quote]

My point is most straight white guys can’t dance.

And i wouldn’t be caught dead in a “club”

I like it. I don’t know if those were in order of importance because if they were #9 should be about #2. Otherwise good list

[quote]Prov1da wrote:
firestanggt wrote:
Thanks for reminding me how much I hate rap.

Something tells me you couldn’t dance with a girl or in a club if your life depended on it. Do you even know what a beat is? What about rhythm?

Or does all music have to sound like a second generation inbred from Alabama with no testicles ate something bad and shit it out onto a scratched disc?

Sorry I’m overreacting but PLEASE PLEASE don’t use Biggie as an example for your hate for rap. Maybe Ja Rule or Kevin Federline. Notorious BIG was what Guns n Roses/ Metallica/ Led Zeppelin was to rock. Sorry I couldn’t resist…

Great post BTW…

[/quote]

Rap isn’t music. It’s yelling of profanities, grabbing of crotches, and jumping around a stage. If you want to call it performance art, cool, then it can be respected as that. But if you insist on calling it music, then you’ll get a lot of this: Rap Sucks…cause it does.

Good job dude. This should be a sticky somewhere, ok I wont go that far, but entertaining stuff for sure.

Hey, the kid was being funny. I don’t think it is about rap that much as just about being a goof but I could be wrong. He could have done without the “niggaz”. That shit is so old. Otherwise for my 2cent, not bad.

TO EACH HIS OWN.

P.S.
You have to admit it would have been hard to do to Stairway to Heaven.

I thought it was well done, got a good laugh out of it.