Testosterone Writing Contest!

Off Topic
101

I love to think of T-Nation and this website as a brawny brainy child wild for living and everything that s/he can possibly attain and often doing it hard. That’s the spirit of this site and it’s infectious.
Inside this spirit is, however, something that supports this b.b. child and that is the disciplined adult push that gets the child to where s/he needs to be. Often tired, frustrated but knowing what needs to be done to get there even if it takes a long time.
That’s something to respect and I do.

The blood rush and rush of achievement from this attitude and action is somthing that I find truly inspiring on this site - even when the talk turns to -um - nudie issues :).

Oh - and it’s fucking hilarious.

102

[quote]Jesse Cohen wrote:
I try not to, but I just can?t help it. Come to think of it, I?m glad that I do. See, ever since reading John Berardi?s ?Weightlifting Snobbery,?

www.johnberardi.com/updates/oct252002/lp_oct252002.htm

I?ve tried to keep an open mind. I didn?t even realize there was such a thing as a ?weightlifting snob? until I read the article. However looking back on my actions, I now realize I was the epitome. I don?t know how many times I showed signs of disrespect to people who didn?t live some sort of athletic lifestyle. I?d see a pretty girl with an un-athletic looking guy.

My first thought was always ?man I could break that guy over my knee.? So maybe he can?t deadlift 500 pounds or hold my jock in a jiu-jitsu match. However, the thought never even crossed my mind that he may have a different passion. Maybe he?s an up and coming comedian, and absolutely hilarious.

Or he could be a top notch golfer, on his way to making millions. Hell, he may even be a porn star with a 12-inch ding-dong and the ability to shoot his wad on key. But to me, the fact that he didn?t look like he had spent time in the gym made me look down on him.

Like most T-Nation readers, I take pride in my willpower, desire, and work ethic in the gym and kitchen. Our field is in the trenches of iron, a place filled with barbells, dumbbells, power racks, heavy bags, and floors covered in sweat and blood. One of my favorite quotes is from Good Will Hunting.

Minnie Driver asks Matt Damon why he?s so good at math. His response? (not verbatim) ?It just makes sense. Beethoven, Bach, they see a piano, and it just makes sense. I just see a wooden box and black and white keys.? I couldn?t agree with this more. I see a gym, and it just feels right. I walk in, know what to do and how to do it.

I don?t know how to give anything less that 100% when I work out. Put me in front of a car engine or math problem and I?m like Richard Simmons at a whore house; bored, uninterested, and not sure what to do.

Over the years, I?ve matured enough to shed most of my weightlifting snobbery. I still look down upon unmotivated, lazy people, however I have come to understand that different people have different passions. The aspect I enjoy most about being a T-Man is the way it affects my everyday life.

First off, as I?ve become stronger, bigger, and a better fighter, my confidence has surged. I lacked confidence before I met the iron. Gotta give a speech in front of 100 people? Lets fucking do it! Giving a marketing pitch to a group of potential clients?

They would be foolish to decline your business! Want to talk to the hot girl surrounded by ten of her friends? Hell yeah, walk right through all potential cock-blocks and get her number. I mean seriously, have you seen you?!

Secondly, being a T-Man has shown me what a true work ethic is, and not just inside the gym. I used to half-ass my way through life. I didn?t read a book in high school. I would just watch the movie, listen to what others had to say about it, and write my paper. If I was required to complete a project, I would try to get to it at the last minute.

Whatever that task was, it was usually done mediocre at best. Now, if I give anything less that 100%, I feel uncomfortable. I find it unacceptable to let people down, as much as I hate to think that I may not have done all I could.

Being a T-Man is more than just squatting 600 pounds or competing in an MMA fight. It?s about being considered serious about responsibility, being dependable, being a person others seek advice from. It?s proving myself through actions, not words. It?s about never being satisfied with mediocrity, and always seeking to make myself better.

I don?t know how many times I have run in to a person I haven?t seen in a while, and I get complimented on my body transformation over the years. Though I try to keep a level head, it still gives me a sense of pride to hear ?Damn Jesse, you are HYYOOOOGGE? from a former-athletic-person-turned-flabby. I smile, thank them,and carry my pride confidently, without arrogance.

Yes, I?m muscular. But not muscular enough. I?m strong, but I could be stronger. Business is going well, but it could be a lot better. I?ve been studying, but not enough. This lifestyle is what makes sense to me. This is the T-Nation lifestyle.
[/quote]

Hey Mods: for some reason, every apostrophe turned into a question mark. I edited it, and the same thing happened. How can I fix this? Thanks, Jesse

103

[quote]MikeTheBear wrote:
Men men men men, manly men men men.

Okay, how’s that?[/quote]

Just about perfect.

:wink:

Sab

104

How do I define Testosterone Nation

T-Nation is all about a collective single mind-frame that comprises of thousands of individual thoughts that people from all walks of life have had. It is Place where the strong nourish the weak, and the weak often help the strong learn more about the craft that they so passionately strive to perfect. We all believe in achieving some form of zenith, but humbly admit that the perfection is a long journey not an exact formula. It is a village of people who believe in themselves and also believe the same powers they possess are within all of us.

T-Nation is also a database of human experiences, filled with valuable information to help people in the quest for their goals. It is the free expression of knowledge given to an individual at their nutritional and exercise infancy so that they may grow from others experience and mistakes. It is a giant brain if you will, with synapses that are scattered over fields of distance, but with a unique continuity that connects us just like the nervous systems in our body that we strive to understand.

It isnt just about strength, or about size, about being lean, or about being so healthy we live to 120 years of age. It is about all of those things in one giant potpourri that people of all levels can come and take a giant whiff of. I define it as T-Nation University. It is a chance for an individual with no education or experience in these matters to gather information from doctors, and specialists around the world. A chance to kind of bump elbows with people that know what they are talking about, who would otherwise be inaccessible as a resource.

When one thinks about the hormone Testosterone we often get the image of strength, of courage, or of masculinity. It is lifeblood of what a man is, but it is more than that. It is an attitude, vigor for life, and expression of manhood. It is all of these things, but it is not limited to only men, Testosterone lives in everyone with an ambition to strive to be more tomorrow than they are today. It is the hormone that gives us the power to not let obstacles stand in our way. Without testosterone, there would not be life, let Testosterone Nation change yours

Each of us is searching for this place in our own lives, so like the intro web page says. Welcome Home.

105

[quote]El_Animal wrote:
TC,

I’m still putting the finishing touches on my article but I ahve a few questions.

Who’s judging this?

When will we kn ow who won?

Is there enough entries for a second place?

I WANNA WIN DAMNIT :slight_smile:

It could help pay for the LA seminar.[/quote]

I’m judging this, but I’m getting input from many people.

The winner will, hopefully, be posted as a “Random Act” on Friday, the 11th.

2nd place? I haven’t decided.

106

The Tiger’s Tail

“Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?”

The poet William Blake knew that the essence of this reality, this perception of life, was far beyond mankind’s understanding. When you attempt to define or label something, you limit it, cage it. And what you do not fully comprehend, you can never truly define. Blake’s tiger represents his attempt to reconcile the differing experiences of life, the pleasure and the pain. He saw the tiger as being, at once a beautiful work of God, and at the same time a brutal, sharp-toothed killer; a heart that beat both bestial and pure. Blake believed that these opposing forces in nature, these Angels and Devils, were the source from which energy is derived. Only through their meeting, swirling eddies of opposition, could power be produce. Their resolution, their conflict is the turbine which ever moves us onward.
You have requested a definition of Testosterone Nation-- lo siento; it is the Tiger, I cannot give one to you. T-Nation is a dichotomy, a walking contradiction: the PHD and the calloused hand, self-esteem and self-deprecating humor, righteous and depraved-- Testosterone Nation is the valedictorian walking hand in hand with the beast.
Perhaps we can deconstruct T-Nation, figure out what it is, by what it is not. Therefore, T-Nation, amongst many other things, is not: overly prideful, insecure, vain, apathetic… it is not a wussy.
Hubris (saw that one coming didn’t you) has engendered several meanings over the years; in today’s context we would consider it hubris when someone is consumed with overwhelming self-pride. In ancient Greece, they would consider it hubris if someone were to publicly shame another, in order to make themselves feel superior. A bully. Those actions are the signs of insecurity, and Testosterone Nation is neither of these. Others may only see the cosmetic effect, of controlling the animal body, and assume an arrogant self-love. And while added muscle may help add to the overall sense of self-worth, its true mark of self-esteem is garnered from a sweeter nectar, overcoming the challenge. Be not fooled, that loaded bar driving down your back, is more than a metaphor, more than a physical action. It is the weight of Atlas, and you are moving it by pure will; overcoming the conflict between your body screaming to stop and a desire to press onward. Resistance, both inner and outer, forces us to grow. This is our self-esteem and self-worth, that we can rise to the challenge and see it through. (A T-Nation patron should be so full of self-worth that they could drive around in a '74 Pinto and still feel confident.)
Vain. In Latin, this word means, “empty, hollow.” In a world where snake-oil salesmen lurk around every tree, where every fact is contradicted by every other fact, where every expert’s marketing intentionally conflicts with every other expert’s opinion, and even the veracity of the term “expert” remains questionable; T Nation provides solid ground. A fellowship based upon observation, experimentation, sweat and laughter; where we can forge some semblance of fact or truth. A stable platform amidst the opposing currents, a platform which is not empty, but rather a fertile ground for the seeds of intelligence, imagination, and instinct to take root.
Within the confines of Testosterone Nation, apathy is considered persona non gratis. When a memory is created there are actual physiological structures formed; indeed, thought gives rise to action. The same holds true with training. Performing repeated motor patterns creates stronger, faster connections. Consider how long it takes an elite athlete to attain that level, or a student to achieve their doctorate. Consider not only the time, but the commitment, the passion, the purpose behind these actions. Purpose… psychologist Karen Horney would term it the “idealized self,” and Alfred Maslow would call it “self-actualization.” It is the chase for that ever elusive image of what each considers perfection. Thought maybe the Mother of action, but willpower is the Father that drives it on.
So, if it is a definition you must have, I will grant you this; Testosterone Nation is kinetics, it is movement. Movement: physical, mental, spiritual; a constant climbing of the mount towards a higher summit. We dare to cross that no-man’s land between lock-out and failure, glean the best tools from both ivory tower and jungle, and harness the inner brute with willpower and wisdom. T-Nation learns from the past, looks to the future, but lives in the moment-- the movement.
Life is not a journey, it is a tempest, a forest where Tigers twist their way through beauty and blood. When it comes for you, will you grab it by the tail, or be seized by its maw? Will you stare the incomprehensible in the eye, hold tight with tooth and thumb, suffer the batters and bruises-- to achieve, to overcome?

“Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?”
Blake

107

Writing an essay is like working out: the hard part is getting started. So I’ll “warm up” nice and easy with a catchy slogan:

“T-Nation: Supplements for the body as well as the mind.”

This place makes you think. And not just about weight training. We talk about lots of stuff around here. From the avuncular Dan John who brings an understanding of the meaning of life through strength training, to TC who manages to impart wisdom while discussing various tawdry subjects, ideas get bounced around here like an angry weasel in a gunny sack. Okay, I stole that last simile from TC himself, but I found it amusing. Stuff isn’t watered down either. I’ve read articles about anatomy that resulted in numbness on the right side of my body. And when an author writes about a “subscapular anterior clavicular impingement,” the article prints “subscapular anterior clavicular impingement,” rather than “Dude, you got a bum shoulder.” At least I think it involves the shoulder. Free speech is encouraged. I’ve seen plenty of posts disagree with an article’s point of view. That’s key: you can’t learn anything if everyone agrees with everyone else. Am I saying that T-Nation is trying to emulate the ancient Greek ideal of a sound mind in a sound body? Perhaps. Except T-Nation won’t make you do your workouts nekkid. At least I hope not.

108

Testosterone Nation

Testosterone nation is so varied and dynamic that it has almost taken on a life of its own, and seems to have a body, soul, and spirit like us. The body is a collection of the best training and diet information for bodybuilders, powerlifters, and anyone interested in improving their physiques. It is a collaboration of the minds of some the greatest iron warriors on the planet. There are numerous articles addressing almost any question or issue associated with the iron game, and a compilation of exercises that are effective and target any muscle one could want to strengthen. The strength of this body provides a framework that gives rise to its soul.

A soul that is not just the sharing of training methodologies, but philosophies. Philosophies about the benefits of improving the body, but also about being sincere and real. It is a place where people with vastly different goals, ideals, morals, and even religions who value intelligence and passion join to express themselves and help each other reach their goals. It thrives, not on the like-mindedness of its members, but on the variety of the thoughts and experiences that each brings to the table. It is a place where the connections are virtual, but the benefits are real.

This is a site based on results and achievements. Many have used it to reach goals that they might never have made otherwise. However, the spirit of T-Nation is not the spirit of achievement or accomplishment, but of the struggle to reach those achievements. It is the spirit of striving to do things and be things that you have never reached before. It?s in knowing that the battle, and fighting it with all you have, is the key, regardless of the outcome.

109

Once long ago, man was man ? a horse of a man. So real like David, in structure like Goliath, impressive like Ozymandius. Its existence is today marked by the different qualities through millennia of Darwinian survival. Enter centuries of civilizations founded on materialism. Interject decades of capitalism, industrialization and urbanization and you arrive at what We today call “life.”

As a whole, “life” is good. Even though, while in the back of our minds We see that life does not treat all as well as it does us, We proceed. We proceed to wake every morning to follow our routine while We ride the ebb and flow of “life” and settle for mediocrity. We take shortcuts to so we can push ourselves further beyond the line of hedonism than yesterday. We call ourselves efficient, not lazy; focused, not narrow-minded; and human beings, not animals. Living a life that openly we can call our own, but honestly displays only those qualities of a victim.

There is a community, however, that does not belong, a cult of sorts. One in which I cannot frankly tell you that I belong. For I am a We. I see this community on a pedestal, as dense as diamond, lustrous like iron, diverse as synthol and water, so secluded like the Greek Gods.

In their courtyard they share with the like-minded, identify with the experienced and bask in their collective spirit of wisdom. It is the wisdom that We lack that this community has thrived on. In history, there was once a Renaissance, today there is a T-Nation. And when or if I do become apart of this revolution, I will know that I still have a long ways to go.

Contach

110

Testosterone Nation is quite simply, a melting pot of information on all the aspects of training and nutrition one needs to live his best life possible.

On any given day you can find hundreds of articles related to training, nutrition and other topics related to the somewhat strange lives we lead. Looking for some humor? Stop by on Fridays and read TC’s “Atomic Dog.” It’ll be sure to put you in the right frame of mind for the weekend ahead.

If the articles posted by various strength coaches and nutritional experts aren’t enough, you can always pop into the forums and post a question, or simply read through the archives. There are many well-educated people on this site. Newbies are welcome, but the veterans don’t have time to answer the same old questions of “I’m 16, how do I look like Brad Pitt in ‘Fight Club’? questions.” They will, however, provide sound information and encouragement if you show a willingness to listen to constructive criticsm and advice.

Quite simply, T-Nation is a frame of mind. It’s an unwillingness to stand for the status-quo, to push oneself past the normal boundaries set by our society. T-Nation strives to be different, and it’s that determination and outside-the-box thinking of the editors of this online website that makes this place so invaluable to all of its members.

111

Is this competition still officially on until 12:00 AM?

112

The fruit of my labor (I have omitted apostrophes due to the computer’s tendency to butcher them. The paragraphing also did not come out in the intended way in the preview):

     Testosterone. Pause and think about what exactly that twelve letter word actually represents in the reality that we all live, breathe, sweat, and inevitably die in. This carbon skeleton of an androgenic hormone has been responsible for both the creation of the most magnificent empires the world has ever seen and their eventual demise. Testosterone is primordial passion and power incarnate, the physical manifestation of the will to achieve that lies at the root of the great accomplishments of humanity. Like all great assets of the modern world, its complexity far exceeds that of the double-edged sword.

While testosterone has fueled the human animal to both build and destroy human societies for as long as they have existed, testosterone-fueled men are also responsible for a host of social ills that perpetually plague human societies while they arent being raised or ruined. Penitentiaries across the nation are filled with disproportionately high levels of this sacred substance and dirtbags worldwide are often bestowed with an abundant supply of it.

Hence, it is in the interest of self-preservation that Testosterones most basic and essential faces of sex, violence, and exotic substances are frowned upon in mainstream society.

Testosterone Nation is simply not mainstream. It aims not for the suppression of Testosterone, but rather its exploitation, the systemic channeling of its raw capacity to propel the modern homo sapien to climb higher mountains, slay bigger beasts, and build bodies bigger, faster, stronger and simply better. Testosterone Nation, in the quest for the ideal body that normally exists only in glossy photos, simply has no time or place for dated doctrines, stagnant science, or flat-out fallacies.

Constant change in the form progress is the only constant in this heathen land where any sacred cows and accompanying dogmas are indiscriminately dissected and roasted by world class trainers, chemists, and nutritionists to satisfy T-Nations insatiable appetite for the fine delicacy of objective knowledge. The dozens of dogma dissections and countless slaughters of sacred cows that have transpired on T-Nation yield a powerful, simple-yet-brutally effective brand of knowledge that blends timeless truths of the past with cutting-edge insights into the future found here and here only.

Unfortunately not even the most devout T-Nation disciple can pack his bags and make a hajj across the desert of materialism to arrive at the sanctum known as Testosterone Nation, nor can he meditate into a state of unity with the essence of the T-Nation. Testosterone Nation is neither a sovereign country that will be sending a delegate to the United Nations anytime soon nor is it a distant, abstract reality.

Testosterone Nation is the mental and moral center of the few remaining Testosterone fueled alpha-males who prowl the society that past warriors like themselves have struggled to create. Only these modern T-Men resolve their conflicts not with the iron of the sword, but rage against the machine with the iron of the barbell and the fire of the will, fueled by the raw, primordial power of Testosterone that has been the catalyst of progress in human society for millennia. Will you join the cause?

113

I prefer to keep mine somewhat short.

testosterone

tes?tos?ter?one [ te st?st? r?n ]

noun

Definition:

male hormone: a male steroid hormone produced in the testicles and responsible for the development of secondary sex characteristics. Use: produced synthetically for treatment of androgen deficiency. C19H28O2

[Mid-20th century. < testis + -sterone (blend of sterol + ketone)]

Testosterone Nation

tes?tos?ter?one na?tion

noun

Definition:

A website were like-minded individuals go to excercise their opinions, discuss nutrition,science,and exercise in general.
A website where skinny,skinny fat,fat,and obese people can go to educate themselves on proper nutrition and excerise(and get flamed).
A website that puts MENSHEALTH diet forums and all diet forums alike to shame.
A website where the only results you see are the results obtained by hard work and consistency.
A website that disproves (almost) everything the diet industry told us was WRONG.
In short,T-Nation is a sphere of answers to all your questions.

114

Testosterone Nation

You don’t know. You can’t possible know, but that’s the good part. You have arrived here, and you’re now aware of a rare life avenue which can be guaranteed beneficial to your entire existence. Of course you don’t have to enter here, you can close this out and dismiss it with ease, after all what you don’t know can’t hurt you…but it also can’t help you.

You also have a right and need to know just “what” this is. The description Testosterone Nation will offer you will not become excessively narcissistic, overly analytical, full of words that require you to read thesis’s on their meanings. This does not devalue Testosterone Nation, as its specialty doesn’t lie in a mirage of excuses and false images; it lies in you, already. It may be stronger in you, more prominent in others, but it’s simply the answers and progressive evolutionary use of our own innate nature. Now how can something so convoluted and broad relate to a “website” about listening and improving one’s mind, and body?

To the complete uninitiated this will be an awareness, a wake up and realization, that the world you most likely live in is void of the life-awareness of mind and body improvement. A life-awareness isn’t attained solely by culture, society, and family, mostly these avenues only show the same shade, and can halter such awareness. Life-Awareness is attained through the expanding of your mind, to think and act at a level once not able to be conceived, as if you never had viewed that certain color. Sure, we believe we see it everywhere, from television, magazines, books, and the internet, but little may you have realized they are catering to a self-held ideal and opinion on what is best, just, and approved. A stereotypical cardio-fanatic may believe that weight training is damaging to one’s own body and there is no way safe-moderation and Steroids could be placed in the same sentence much less the same universe. Forget facts, enlightenment or dissenting opinions this is a dogma, and it’s all you will get when you decide to continue down that already predestined beaten path, the same path billions have traveled down aimless to their potentials, limits, and abilities.

Testosterone Nation is an oasis of battling sharp opinions, strong wills, and people from every imaginable mindset, and body composition. T-Nation is a meeting ground for research in the workings of the body and mind, improvement on understanding. Here we put a heightened value on maximizing our Testosterone roots. Not conforming to the prevailing ideals, but not countering such for false reasoning. The body is your proving ground, and your temple. Strength, muscle, flexibility and many facets of improvement are not requested or demanded but sought out and earned. Bodybuilders, Powerlifters, Novices, Mixed Martial Artists, Thinkers, these terms still fall flat. With the passing into this avenue, there will be an acceleration of knowledge about one’s body, how to build it, how to love and appreciate your manhood and its life gifts.

Testosterone may seem to be only a hormone. Yes, it is a ‘hormone’ that also in large part governs the way men think, feel, and live. The guiding angel of manhood. Testosterone Nation is a look and acceptance into facilitating these demands.

This adventure is in your hands, when you need a hand it will be there, but surely you have to carry yourself in, don’t limit yourself don’t disappoint yourself…

115

Our “home” may be an internet site, but the truth of the matter is much bigger than an electronic address could ever be; that’s merely where we congregate. The T-Nation itself, the construct that powers the principle, is ideas in motion; willpower and resolve made manifest through action. It is not enough to say “I want”, we must do, and it is that which the citizens of the T-Nation recognize.

Whether it’s the skinny-fat newbie who is about to learn a harsh lesson as he hits the “submit” button on his post, asking whether he should cut or bulk; the old-timer grousing about squats and milk; the hippies, the conservatives, the juicers or the naturals – they all instinctively know one thing: they must act.

It is a place where a man can be a man, and where women are just as welcome in the old boy’s club. Where we can celebrate that boyish corner of our minds that still revels in simple things like comic books, motorcycles, action movies, or staring at women, recognizing that these things do not make us men, but nor do they make us less manly. Yes, manly. That’s an important distinction; in the T-Nation, the term “manly” is a compliment. Idle enjoyments aside, we will also extol the virtues of loyalty, courage, and dedication. We celebrate knowledge gained and wisdom applied, praise the family man, and know the satisfaction of hard work.

It is not a place for the average: the simpering, the passive-aggressive, the complacent, or those who preach a litany of weakness built upon a foundation of excuses. The proof is in the pudding. Walk the walk or don’t bother talking the talk. Among the citizens of the T-Nation we recognize that each new day will bring us challenges to strive against and overcome. When we succeed, we may take satisfaction in that. When we fail, we adapt in order to grow. Mind, body, and soul; it is not enough to strive for strength in one. We educate ourselves with knowledge provided, and strive to ever improve. The goals of the T-citizens are varied, but in this knowledge we are united: It is not enough to wish for change, we must affect it in our own lives.

The T-Nation is a shared state of mind.

116

Midnight my time, or yours, TC?

117

When will the winner be announced?

118

[quote]KombatAthlete wrote:
When will the winner be announced?[/quote]

The winner has been announced in this week’s Atomic Dog:

http://www.t-nation.com/index.do

119

Too bad Bulking Machine didn’t participate…

120

Bump