Stupidest Personal Trainer Quotes

[quote]KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.[/quote]

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…

[quote]T-Quinn wrote:
“I charge $75.00 an hour” 24 hour fitness.

I don’t know if it was a personal trainer or a whore.
[/quote]

How much for all night?

RB

[quote]Rich wrote:
There is no inner chest.

While I was doing GHRs on a lat pull down station - “Wow good idea for quads!”

“Squats will stunt your growth.”[/quote]

How do you do GHRs on a lat pull station? Is the seat really high up?

I’d like to start doing those but there doesn’t seem to be a suitable piece of equipment to do them on.

RB

[quote]danmaftei wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…[/quote]

What’s your point?

[quote]IHateGymMorons wrote:

I also hate 99% of Physical Therapist. ESPECIALLY the ones who think they can train healthy people with internal rotations and balance balls.[/quote]

Being a Physical Therapist (almost 1.5 more years out of 8 to go) I am very surprised by this statement. I have been a T-Nation reader since 2000 and have competed in powerlifting, mma, Judo, and about to be olympic lifting, so I can say I have the real world experience that so many of the people on this site really need, as well as the intense medical background necessary to “fix what ails 'ya” People who are doing what you said have no freaking clue of what actually goes on in the world of weightlifting.

Though it does remind me of a scary joke I once heard:

"What do you call a med. student who barely passes med.school and graduates last in his class?

  • A Doctor"

[quote]Wreckless wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.

And he was wrong?
[/quote]

Isn’t a squat with the weight in front a front squat?

[quote]pookie wrote:
Wreckless wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.

And he was wrong?

Isn’t a squat with the weight in front a front squat?[/quote]

yeah, and a squat with the weight in zercher of you is a zercher squat.

[quote]jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…

What’s your point?
[/quote]

Point was that he misread what I meant to say with my post and responded with a jackass comment. Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.

[quote]danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.[/quote]

I had a guy on a different forum/website say that deadlifts and sqauts were quote
“Squats and deadlifts are essentially the same lift, except the bar is in your hands or on your back. Body positioning is relatively identical when done correctly. Focusing on one won’t detriment the other, because the same muscles are being recruited.”
He’s almost right but so so wrong.

[quote]danmaftei wrote:
jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…

What’s your point?

Point was that he misread what I meant to say with my post and responded with a jackass comment. Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.[/quote]

I think he was using a mimic of your post to make a joke. It’s called humour. Whether you thought it was funny or not you should have been able to recognise his intentions. Nobody misread your post.

Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.

[quote]wufwugy wrote:
yeah, and a squat with the weight in zercher of you is a zercher squat.[/quote]

And if you tear a leg off from one of those annoying ever-curling teen boys, and squat with that, is it a 1-legged squat?

[quote]pookie wrote:
wufwugy wrote:
yeah, and a squat with the weight in zercher of you is a zercher squat.

And if you tear a leg off from one of those annoying ever-curling teen boys, and squat with that, is it a 1-legged squat?[/quote]

What about those people who don’t work legs? Do they squat squat?

i haven’t heard anything stupid by any of the trainers in my gym, but i did see something very idiotic that made my laugh.

A trainer was teaching a newbie how to squat. On the smith machine.
Another day I saw a trainer spot his client on the smith while doing squats.
Can one even call a smith machine squat, a squat?

it seems that 99% of gyms with shiny equipment and DVD racks, really have no interest in training you, all they really want is for you to pay a 1yr membership, and drop out in February.

So maybe the useless personal trainers are there as part of this cynical master plan, to put you off training for life. [not body for life, that’s a different kettle of porridge]

[quote]jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…

What’s your point?

Point was that he misread what I meant to say with my post and responded with a jackass comment. Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.

I think he was using a mimic of your post to make a joke. It’s called humour. Whether you thought it was funny or not you should have been able to recognise his intentions. Nobody misread your post.

Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.[/quote]

It really came off more as just an attack on me, not as a witty post. But whatever.

Thank god for the internet which gives us access to the good trainers and coaches (so no excuses of ignorance tolerated anymore), and no offence to any of the competent PTs hangin’ around here on T-Nation.

I work in a university and go to the uni gym where there are no staff that know ANYTHING about serious lifting. It also tends to be very crowded at the start of term but luckily all the newbies do their benches and everything else all wrong and screw up their shoulders or suffer some other kind of injury and leave. Have I ever seen one of the trainers correct some-one? …NEVER, which is even worse than saying something stupid. Makes me wonder what exactly they’re there for?

Anyway, if you want to hear something amusing that one of them said, here goes;
Background: I’ve just completed a decent farmer’s walk and set down the bars and go to increment up the weight.
Trainer (not being funny):“Why didn’t you just check the weight first? It would’ve saved you all that hassle.”

…seriously

Incidentally, 1st time poster, long time reader… “Hey everyone”

[quote]harris447 wrote:
pookie wrote:
wufwugy wrote:
yeah, and a squat with the weight in zercher of you is a zercher squat.

And if you tear a leg off from one of those annoying ever-curling teen boys, and squat with that, is it a 1-legged squat?

What about those people who don’t work legs? Do they squat squat?[/quote]

no.

they don’t do [chris farley voice] jack squat.

interestingly, although not bulgarian, i can do their split squats. similarly, i’m not romanian but favor their RDLs.

Bastard

[quote]Finalyear wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
I had a guy tell me a deadlift was like a squat with the weight in front of you.

I had a guy on a different forum/website say that deadlifts and sqauts were quote
“Squats and deadlifts are essentially the same lift, except the bar is in your hands or on your back. Body positioning is relatively identical when done correctly. Focusing on one won’t detriment the other, because the same muscles are being recruited.”
He’s almost right but so so wrong.[/quote]

I have heard of sumo DLs described as a squat with the bar held in your hands. As this post says, it’s kind of right but not quite. The muscle groups definitely overlap, but that’s where the similarity ends – the techinique is totally different. In the squat, you lead with your upper body; DL, you push the ground with your legs.

Personal Trainer: “Do you want a low carb bar?”

Me: “I just had a workout. I need some carbs”

PT: I would contend that!

Me: Then you’d be an idiot walking away

[quote]danmaftei wrote:
jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
jacross wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
danmaftei wrote:
Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “This is a squat with the weight in front of me,” I think “this is a deadlift.” Squats and deadlifts are completely unrelated to me psychologically. But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s just my mentality, but when I’m about to pull I don’t think “this is a deadlift,” I think “Kevin, you better f-cking get this lift, or you are a f-cking pussy.” But maybe I’m wrong.

I wasn’t really being sarcastic there…

What’s your point?

Point was that he misread what I meant to say with my post and responded with a jackass comment. Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.

I think he was using a mimic of your post to make a joke. It’s called humour. Whether you thought it was funny or not you should have been able to recognise his intentions. Nobody misread your post.

Jesus, sometimes you people are real fucking thick.

This shit is toooo funny!!