This means I was multiple girls in high school.
Badum tis!
Well played.
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Meh, clothes (and most material goods)aren’t important to me. Financial stability with low but strategic debt is very important to me as it provides freedom especially in economically uncertain times like this.
And yes, I’d be happy to be described as my job title, though I think I have struck a very healthy work-life balance and it is commonly known in my workplace how important my hobbies are to me. I think you should be proud of your work, and if you aren’t, work towards finding a career you are proud of.
At the same time?
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I think context is important here. Described as your job title by who?
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If a local newspaper were to do a profile on you, just a quick paragraph for “faces in the crowd” or some such weekly article, i would you be mad if they mentioned your career.
By the same token, the standard small talk of asking “What do you do?” shouldn’t elicit an embarrassed response. If you are embarrassed by your career, you should be working towards changing it. But if you work hard and have learned a good set of skills on the job, i see nothing to be embarrassed about.
I agree with all of that, in those contexts. If my better half or my kids have nothing better to say about me than my job title though, I reckon I’ve gone fucked up. To me, that would be being defined by my job.
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I did a short stint with a law enforcement agency as part of consulting gig. The children in my life thought this meant I was a police officer… Let’s say nothing else about me mattered at that point lol
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I cut trees for a long time, and am still a bit known as a good and capable tree cutter to a few people here and there. And even the people who we worked for thought we were pretty important, at least for the 6 or 8 hours we were there.
On the other hand, I’ll be my son’s father for ever. I’ve been my siblings brother for 48 years, and plan on many more, and a good friend to many people for many years.
I think that the title of who I am to the people who are important to me is more important that the title of what I can do for people that don’t really care.
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IDK, in my wife’s “faces in the crowd” article I’d certainly include her career. She knew what she wanted to be since she was 6 years old. And again, I wouldn’t be upset at all if she included my career when writing my “article”, after all I’ve taken on many of the characteristics of the position.
Your job shouldn’t be the only thing that defines you, but it is one of the big things that defines you. I think saying it doesn’t is as disingenuous and immature as claiming you don’t care what others think of you. You spend 40+hrs every week at your chosen job. The only thing you do more of is sleep.
I’d say that one’s job is a big definer for SOME people, but not for everyone. Some of my friends’ identities are partially or heavily invested in their jobs, while others see work as a means to an end and little else. It boils down to what each person values.
This is a second assumption and projection. Many people don’t have the favorable life circumstances necessary to select the job optimally suited to their personal interests, goals, and abilities. Instead, many have to take the work that’s available, no matter how unstimulating or unrepresentative of themselves the jobs may be.
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YOU may not define yourself by your job, but i assure you that the rest of society certainly sees it as a one of the big things that defines you. And the job along with the people you work with certainly have an effect on you as well.
As for the second part, unless you are part of a caste system, you absolutely have a choice of jobs. You may not have the ease of access to white collar jobs sure, but you still have avenues to get there, even if circumstances beyond your control make them much more difficult to take.
But i was more talking about even for the dumbest meathead out there, there are numerous positions within numerous companies within numerous industries, located in numerous cities to find a job. You have a choice of where you work, and what you do.
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Yeah sure I hate my job, still many people called me McDonald’s, and I’ll hate this until I get out
You’ve stated you largely define yourself by your job. Lots of people do. But “the rest of society” is a claim you can’t substantiate. I believe you’re projecting your values onto everyone other than me. However, just because you and your social circle derive much of your identities from you careers doesn’t mean that society as a whole thinks like you.
This is true for some but not all. Come from a broken home, have a terrible illness or injury, have a family member who needs constant care, live in a poor part of the country; there are many situations that can severely limit a person’s selection of careers.
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I don’t think ones job defines one. Certainly not me. I’ve no idea what Ted Bundy did for a living but his job definitely didn’t define him unless of course his job was being a monster. 
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Solid post. I will add that you can pick up pretty much any fantasy book as well. The protagonist usually starts out poor, homeless, beaten, broken, etc. and that experience makes them mentally and emotionally strong enough to be the hero of the story.
Seriously though, most guys that wasted their 20s smoking, drinking, and partying are a dime a dozen, and when they hit their 30s, they are so much worse off than you, OP. They don’t have the maturity or will power to make it through hard times or make hard decisions, and are often privileged, greedy and unhappy.
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“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.”
- Alexandre Dumas
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all I can say is that I once feared it, but found it painless, launched a new chapter in my life as an older and more mature version of my young self still in a fit body, and had a much better next five years than the previous five.I agree with Rollo Tomasi, who says a man doesn’t hit his peak until mid-30s. Take good care of yourself physically and your 30s should be great.
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That was a good reply, @BrickHead. You should repost it.
From other threads, I’ve wanted to say I agree, there’s a willful, systematic attack against the nuclear family, human sexuality, and traditional social and family values. The more that happens in societies around the world, the more I see events in Revelation and parts of Daniel in the Bible taking shape.
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Thank you. I thought it was reasonable but sometimes I look back on some of my posts and think they’re bound to irritate some people. Or my posts might be misinterpreted and perhaps get a response like “What are you, a … (something I’m not)?”
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