I wonder if most of the libido issues on TRT men have are that of cases of Secondary Hypo as opposed to Primary.
That would be interesting to see some stats on
I can relate a ton to the acting thing, but not just with women, with everyone. To be honest I really crave affection and closeness, but intimacy scares the shit out of me, I dislike being touched, and I dislike eye contact tremendously. At the same time I’ve been alone almost my entire life and prefer it that way, in a certain sense, at least prior to TRT I did, now I actually want a relationship.
I wrote a book of a post but then deleted it…and then wrote some more so I guess I lied, I’m a still write.
I would highly recommend reading the papers by Dr. Andrew Dwyer on hypogonadotropic hypogonadism/Kallmann syndrome. Psychological Aspects of Congenital Hypogonadotropic Hypogonadism - PMC
My therapist thinks I have Autism Spectrum Disorder and the stress caused the hypogonadism and GI issues, and sweating, and anxiety.
I do not know but I’m joining a sequencing program at MGH and I’m getting genetic panels done and hope to find out. I want an answer.
A lot of the psychosexual/psychosocial anxiety probably came from rejection during puberty, and also feeling like ones body did not develop like their peers, so they were “left behind” and there’s a lot of shame in that.
I’m a pretty big guy at 6ft 3 220 and only started lifting for 3 months with the COVID lockdown in between, and yet I think my arms are tiny, I think my hips are wider than my shoulders, and I hate my nose and face, and have puffy nipples/left sided gyno.
Body dysphoria shit is real.
I’m a go back to deep IM injections, I really do think I felt better on them. When I started with the half inch shallow IM pins in quads I felt 5x worse.
I think alcohol helped me to settle down any stress hormones I had, and just relax, that’s when I got insane libido. I got off at 26 because I was so sexually frustrated, having that much libido and no social context of how to use it. I restarted at 33 10 months ago and plan to be on it for the foreseeable future.
Idk I’ve had women come up to me months or years later and say, “why didn’t you kiss me?” and I’d say, I didn’t think you wanted me to, why didn’t you ask me to!?
And they’d say, “it’s just supposed to happen and you’re just supposed to know”.
And I’d respond that I didn’t even think they liked me and I had no idea they wanted me to.
I’ve had my soul crushed more times than once in regards to that. I can’t read emotions or intent in peoples faces. I’ve gotten in fights with people because I thought they were mad at me and they said they were just looking at me. My mom got a restraining order against me because I was 100% sure she and my sister were conspiring against me.
People are black and white to me. I will forget 30 years of raising me or 20 years of friendship if you do something that crosses my imaginary line of logic and you will become my enemy. It’s stressful, but it’s how I view people and social interaction. There is no grey in my life.
With relationships, I try to take a logical approach, and that’s never worked. Women seem to be emotional, and I have a hard time showing or reading emotions. I’d prefer a woman that likes logical upfront direct conversation.
I’d like to kiss you now. This appears to be a good time to have sex, would you like to?
That sounds fucking hilariously like a robot to write outloud but shit, maybe i’m just an autistic robot on roids now.
Wow. The autism thing. The wanting to be alone thing. Sounds just like me.
I’m very comfortable alone but then sometimes miss companionship. But having a relationship seems too stressful and full of anxiety.
You mentioned the black and white thing. Ever look into borderline personality ?
I have , BPD was my first self-diagnosis. I’m unsure. I’m psychotically obsessed with one tiny area of science and am very good at it because I’ll read dry journal articles for hours on end. I rock back and forth and hold my arms when I’m stressed, I catch myself repeating phrases over and over again and flapping my wrists back and forth sometimes and I rock on my tippy toes when I speak publically and ppl say I yell and don’t modulate my voice.
Oddly it’s worked out. I run a biotech company and have raised millions from VC’s, but my personal life is lonely as fuck. My work is my identity and purpose. I don’t want to publicly write my relationship to depression and suicidal thoughts. I can neither confirm nor deny them.
My friends say wow you’re going to be rich someday I wish I could write patents and do organic chemistry! And I say, I wish I had a girlfriend that wanted to hold my hand, or to get a BJ for the first time, or to be able to have a normal fucking relationship and not take everything literally. I’m fucking 33 and have never had a blowjob. Attracting women to me isn’t hard, and I have fun in the beginning and it is enjoyable when I’m myself and super passionate about my work, but once expectations of intimacy and emotional exchanges of affection are expected my anxiety goes through the roof and my body goes into lock-down and I cease to function, then they say…ok well then, cya later!
I’ve always known I wanted to be a scientist since I was a kid and have always had a purpose and a passion, and that draws women to me, but I’m functionally retarded when it comes to understanding how I’m emotionally supposed to behave.
The last two women I tried dating and had sex with one and made out with the other…one of them said she didn’t understand why my self esteem was so low, she could sense it. The other said I made her feel unwanted by distancing her and again, I didn’t understand what i did and she never replied to specifically what it was so I can’t learn.
Most of peoples facial expressions I’ve tried to learn by observing, and mimicking my male friends actions who have girlfriends or wives.
It doesn’t work when intimacy is involved.
I’m trying to just accept if I had ASD, at least it’d be a fucking explanation and I can be upfront about it and find a woman that is similar to me and prefers direct communication.
My apartment, I have no furniture. I have a computer desk and a bed, I don’t see logically why I need other pieces of furniture, it seems like a waste of money.
That’s the weird shit I can’t explain and people think I’m weird about. Self care is not important to me, at all, but what’s WILD is that TRT has made self-care much more important. I care a shitload about my body now and value myself. TRT saved my life, no doubt about it. Maybe therapy and CBT/DBT can help me learn how to manage my emotions.
My gf has bpd so I know quite a bit about it. People have no idea what mental torment these ppl go though.
I did read Kallmans sometimes reverses itself after trt Is stopped.
Haha yes the mental torment coupled to hypersexuality is real. I think it’s easier for a woman to use that sexual energy than it is for a man…especially with other issues or that isn’t physically fit or attractive. For a man hypersexuality can be depressing.
Indeed about 10% of people with secondary hypogonadism can have spontaneous reversal and sustain gonadotropins. But, they consider “reversed” as any total testosterone level over 350 I think. I was 171ng/dL prior to TRT, after I quit TRT at 26 after ~ year because I was so sexually frustrated, and going insane with drinking+TRT and anger from not accepting I have to take this for life, I quit drinking, and at 32 went back for a test. ~1 year sober my TRT was naturally in the 300-345 range with 350-1200 range.
Most endos think 300 is normal, I do not.
This paper states 400ng/dL is a threshold for symptomatic cut-off.
So yeah, 345ng for 32 years old, with other symptoms, isn’t normal.
Complete reversal of all physical symptoms and correction of NUMEROUS blood markers shows testosterone was missing from my body.
Now I want to know…why? Docs don’t care. I volunteered for a program at MGH, I can send you the link. To quality you need at least 2 readings under normal level and a history of hypogonadal symptoms. Then you take a survey.
I’m demanding an MRI soon as well. A bone scan is also a good indicator. Same with a longer arm-span than height. List goes on!
Some HH is congenital without known cause.
Your shbg is too low, you have to drop ur dosage, im telling you, that will restore ur libido. Dont listen to the other fools telling ya to use high dosages.
Even on 1g of testosterone a week, I have zero libido, ZERO libido, cause I have low shbg.
7mg daily, Im a horny beast.
This is true, but Dr. Dwyer’s group and Dr. Seminara’s group in Boston are constantly finding new genes. You can get a Kallmann syndrome panel for $1,500-$2,500 from private genetic sequencing companies, but a doctor has to order them, and there’s only a 50% chance it’s diagnostic and find a pathogenic variant.
I shall try to lower the dose and see what happens. I always thought about daily just to see, but think I’d grow tired of injecting every day unless I knew it’d be for a huge benefit.
Problem is even if I did like 100mg a week I’ve been on 140 for 3 months will take some time to come down. Let’s see!
Mine always came filled with 1.2mL (240mg T)
Haha bunch of abusers man
Wait, what?
Sounds like something a prepubescent boy would post. Of all the things you could say (and there are a few) lack of confidence ain’t one of them buddy. Carry on
Bro I really hope he’s joking. If not, I’ve lost faith. FFS is T not the reason people have confidence haha.