Starting Over..

Bigger Stronger Leaner Over 35 Lifter
1

I’ve been a member of T-Nation for over 9 years. I’ve read all the articles, I’ve half assed trained, I’ve gotten into good shape before, and now…I am a fucking wreck of a human.

Two weeks ago my divorce finalized. My kids are okay, I see them everyday, financially they are solid and well taken care of. I thought I was going to be starting a new relationship after this divorce with a woman I was good friends with and am very much in love with and due to my own stupidity, I’ve blown that up. And there’s a pretty damn good chance I’ll never get her back.

I’m overweight, I’m out of shape, 39 years old and for the first time since I was 19, I am not in any sort of relationship. Part of me is scared as fuck because for the first time in 20 years, I don’t have someone I have to take care of, report to, be with. But at the same time, I guess this is a chance to start over and do it on my own terms.

I’m a beginner because I’ve got to learn how to train again, how to eat right, and I’ve got to learn how to live again.

2

Hey Man keep your chin up. Welcome aboard and if you need help let me know.

Fisch

3

appreciate it much

I’ve got no gym to go to but I got one bar with about 100lbs of plates. I’ve got a couple sledge hammers and some old tires and 15 acres of woods to walk in. So I’m thinking a program of weighted carries and sledge hammer work and complexes with the bar are going to be the way to start.

Also going to not date or sleep around for six months. I need to focus on me and get the distractions out of the way. Warrior-monk mentality seems to be the most useful right now, lol.

4

Check out Ross Enamait, has going gymless workouts…

5

No excuses!
Women can get in the way of training, but that excuse is now over. You have said your overweight, but you have some good tools to get yourself started. Set a plan that avoids injury and stick to it.

Seriously - Treat this is an opportunity to get in shape physically and mentally. Then make a bucket list.

6

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
I’ve been a member of T-Nation for over 9 years. I’ve read all the articles, I’ve half assed trained, I’ve gotten into good shape before, and now…I am a fucking wreck of a human.

Two weeks ago my divorce finalized. My kids are okay, I see them everyday, financially they are solid and well taken care of. I thought I was going to be starting a new relationship after this divorce with a woman I was good friends with and am very much in love with and due to my own stupidity, I’ve blown that up. And there’s a pretty damn good chance I’ll never get her back.

I’m overweight, I’m out of shape, 39 years old and for the first time since I was 19, I am not in any sort of relationship. Part of me is scared as fuck because for the first time in 20 years, I don’t have someone I have to take care of, report to, be with. But at the same time, I guess this is a chance to start over and do it on my own terms.

I’m a beginner because I’ve got to learn how to train again, how to eat right, and I’ve got to learn how to live again. [/quote]

Man you been gone from here for a bit, you used to post all the time.

  1. Divorce sucks, how long were you married?
  2. Why do you have no gym to go to?
  3. Probably a good thing that you did not get into a relationship right now IMO. You need time to work on you and get over divorce. Spend this time, fixing you and spend time with your kids.

Edit: never mind about #3 saw your other post.

Dan John is who I would look at.

7

Stay with it dude. Look at all this as a new start. Not to get religous, but God only gives us what we can handle. Get stronger both mentally and physically and you’ll be the better for it.

8

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
I’ve been a member of T-Nation for over 9 years. I’ve read all the articles, I’ve half assed trained, I’ve gotten into good shape before, and now…I am a fucking wreck of a human.

Two weeks ago my divorce finalized. My kids are okay, I see them everyday, financially they are solid and well taken care of. I thought I was going to be starting a new relationship after this divorce with a woman I was good friends with and am very much in love with and due to my own stupidity, I’ve blown that up. And there’s a pretty damn good chance I’ll never get her back.

I’m overweight, I’m out of shape, 39 years old and for the first time since I was 19, I am not in any sort of relationship. Part of me is scared as fuck because for the first time in 20 years, I don’t have someone I have to take care of, report to, be with. But at the same time, I guess this is a chance to start over and do it on my own terms.

I’m a beginner because I’ve got to learn how to train again, how to eat right, and I’ve got to learn how to live again. [/quote]

Man you been gone from here for a bit, you used to post all the time.

  1. Divorce sucks, how long were you married?
  2. Why do you have no gym to go to?
  3. Probably a good thing that you did not get into a relationship right now IMO. You need time to work on you and get over divorce. Spend this time, fixing you and spend time with your kids.

Edit: never mind about #3 saw your other post.

Dan John is who I would look at. [/quote]

Moved out last summer after 15 years, was married 16 when the papers were signed. It’s been rough at times but not having a constant source of self doubt around me has been great.

Have no gym cause I live in the middle of no where and the closest gym is an hour away. May try and talk to the coaches at the local HS and see if I can start training up there, be a good way to spend time with my son also.

9

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
I’ve been a member of T-Nation for over 9 years. I’ve read all the articles, I’ve half assed trained, I’ve gotten into good shape before, and now…I am a fucking wreck of a human.

Two weeks ago my divorce finalized. My kids are okay, I see them everyday, financially they are solid and well taken care of. I thought I was going to be starting a new relationship after this divorce with a woman I was good friends with and am very much in love with and due to my own stupidity, I’ve blown that up. And there’s a pretty damn good chance I’ll never get her back.

I’m overweight, I’m out of shape, 39 years old and for the first time since I was 19, I am not in any sort of relationship. Part of me is scared as fuck because for the first time in 20 years, I don’t have someone I have to take care of, report to, be with. But at the same time, I guess this is a chance to start over and do it on my own terms.

I’m a beginner because I’ve got to learn how to train again, how to eat right, and I’ve got to learn how to live again. [/quote]

Man you been gone from here for a bit, you used to post all the time.

  1. Divorce sucks, how long were you married?
  2. Why do you have no gym to go to?
  3. Probably a good thing that you did not get into a relationship right now IMO. You need time to work on you and get over divorce. Spend this time, fixing you and spend time with your kids.

Edit: never mind about #3 saw your other post.

Dan John is who I would look at. [/quote]

Moved out last summer after 15 years, was married 16 when the papers were signed. It’s been rough at times but not having a constant source of self doubt around me has been great.

Have no gym cause I live in the middle of no where and the closest gym is an hour away. May try and talk to the coaches at the local HS and see if I can start training up there, be a good way to spend time with my son also.

[/quote]

Well you are in Texas so that is true about being in the middle of no where.

If it is a small school I am sure they will probably not give you to hard of a time.

How old are the kids?

And you dont have to answer man, not trying to pry. I have been divorced for 15 years now and remarried for the past 13 so I just know what its like. I had 2 kids with my X they are now 21 and 18.

10

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
I’ve been a member of T-Nation for over 9 years. I’ve read all the articles, I’ve half assed trained, I’ve gotten into good shape before, and now…I am a fucking wreck of a human.

Two weeks ago my divorce finalized. My kids are okay, I see them everyday, financially they are solid and well taken care of. I thought I was going to be starting a new relationship after this divorce with a woman I was good friends with and am very much in love with and due to my own stupidity, I’ve blown that up. And there’s a pretty damn good chance I’ll never get her back.

I’m overweight, I’m out of shape, 39 years old and for the first time since I was 19, I am not in any sort of relationship. Part of me is scared as fuck because for the first time in 20 years, I don’t have someone I have to take care of, report to, be with. But at the same time, I guess this is a chance to start over and do it on my own terms.

I’m a beginner because I’ve got to learn how to train again, how to eat right, and I’ve got to learn how to live again. [/quote]

Man you been gone from here for a bit, you used to post all the time.

  1. Divorce sucks, how long were you married?
  2. Why do you have no gym to go to?
  3. Probably a good thing that you did not get into a relationship right now IMO. You need time to work on you and get over divorce. Spend this time, fixing you and spend time with your kids.

Edit: never mind about #3 saw your other post.

Dan John is who I would look at. [/quote]

Moved out last summer after 15 years, was married 16 when the papers were signed. It’s been rough at times but not having a constant source of self doubt around me has been great.

Have no gym cause I live in the middle of no where and the closest gym is an hour away. May try and talk to the coaches at the local HS and see if I can start training up there, be a good way to spend time with my son also.

[/quote]

Well you are in Texas so that is true about being in the middle of no where.

If it is a small school I am sure they will probably not give you to hard of a time.

How old are the kids?

And you dont have to answer man, not trying to pry. I have been divorced for 15 years now and remarried for the past 13 so I just know what its like. I had 2 kids with my X they are now 21 and 18. [/quote]

Son is 16, good athlete, better student so he’s focusing more on his grades and starting to lift to stay strong. Daughter is 12, cheerleader, artist. I was able to move only 4 miles away, i see them both almost everyday and the ex and I are very cooperative about visitation so i get plenty of time with them.

She and I are civil towards each other, her family and friends have tried starting some trouble trying to guilt me into coming back. They can’t understand I left cause I was purely miserable and I did try to fix it. But it wasn’t there to be fixed.

11

^ Your a grown man and you did what you did for your own reasons. Now just making sure you and the X are being the best parents you can be and not putting the kids as a tool to get back at each other is all that matters now. The age of your kids man it goes fucking quick, before you know it they will be out of the house. Spend all the time you can right now with the kids and put aside your pride for the kids.

Whatever exercise you can do then just do it right now, you can work on PL/BB or whatever later on. Right now its just about getting your head right, spending time with the kids. Everything else will settle out.

Good luck man.