[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
go put yourself in those situations as much as you can until you have it licked.
[/quote]
Hey I think this probably sums up AC’s methods for picking up chicks about as succinctly as possible.
…Though I’m not sure AC’s goal is to lick it.
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
About psychology, a lot of what is important in relating to people is kind of intuitive. People either have it or they don’t. Some of those skills or personality traits are very hard to learn. [/quote]
While I’m hardly on your level of education/experience in the field, I feel like I respectfully disagree with the above statements. (Unless you’re talking about extreme cases like the singer you posted the video of.)
Like someone mentioned earlier, AC’s got a method of becoming more social (girls were mentioned, but it goes far past picking up chicks) - or, maybe in this particular case, just less anti-social/socially overstimulated.
In his methods, he prescribes reading the following books:
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathanial Branden
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Iron John by Robert Bly
Among a few others…
I took it upon myself to read some body language books in there, as well, but the above suggest living with self awareness and has exercises to help one do so. Since including some of them in my daily routine, I’ve been able to control my emotions MUCH better. Emotions including anxiety, anger, insecurity, irrational thinking, etc…
He also suggestions learning how to control one’s breathing… This was a huge help in controlling my anxiety, too. Learn to belly breathe - there are some pretty strong correlations between moods/psychological stress and ones physiological state. Things as simple as recognizing shallow breathing vs ‘proper’ belly breathing and fixing your breathing pattern on the spot can be a huge help in destressing.
Getting back to body language - OP could be stuck in a ‘closed’ body language position where people might pick up on it and might get the wrong idea of him. Similarly, if he is indeed stuck in a ‘closed’ state of body language, he’s setting himself up for being in a psychologically stressed state. Do you walk around with slumped shoulders and looking at the floor in front of you or do you walk around with good posture and looking ahead? Small body langugage changes can go a long way in helping change ones mood and perception from others - and those are hardly difficult to learn.
I feel the reality of it is more that the gymgoers that look at OP are more insecure than he is and wish they could DL 415 lbs. I feel like it’s human nature to be in awe of superhuman feats (in this particular case, physical feats) and to most gymgoers, a 415 lb DL is just that. They could be wanting to ask for advice, say ‘nice job’, ask what the exercise does, etc… There are millions of scenarios that are less stressful (and more likely, IMO) than the ones OP is imagining in his head. But again, things learned from those books (such as the contagiousness of smiling) will help with social situations. I bet if OP smiled at some of these gymgoers, they’d smile back and he’d realize he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill as someone earlier put it.
I guess after typing all that, I realize reading all those books, doing the self-awareness exercises, gradual social conditioning as you suggested, etc. isn’t necessarily easy but I don’t think they’re nearly as hard as people realize.
OP (and anyone else in a similar situation), I would definitely pick up those three books above as well as one on body language and implement the exercises into your life. It’s HUGE in helping controlling emotions, your life, social interaction, etc…
Also, have you tried nootropics?
Phosphatidylserine, L-theanine, some of the ‘-racetems’, and bacopa monneri all have anti-anxiety properties, among numerous other benefits.
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
About psychology, a lot of what is important in relating to people is kind of intuitive. People either have it or they don’t. Some of those skills or personality traits are very hard to learn. [/quote]
While I’m hardly on your level of education/experience in the field, I feel like I respectfully disagree with the above statements. (Unless you’re talking about extreme cases like the singer you posted the video of.)
Like someone mentioned earlier, AC’s got a method of becoming more social (girls were mentioned, but it goes far past picking up chicks) - or, maybe in this particular case, just less anti-social/socially overstimulated.
In his methods, he prescribes reading the following books:
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathanial Branden
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Iron John by Robert Bly
Among a few others…
I took it upon myself to read some body language books in there, as well, but the above suggest living with self awareness and has exercises to help one do so. Since including some of them in my daily routine, I’ve been able to control my emotions MUCH better. Emotions including anxiety, anger, insecurity, irrational thinking, etc…
He also suggestions learning how to control one’s breathing… This was a huge help in controlling my anxiety, too. Learn to belly breathe - there are some pretty strong correlations between moods/psychological stress and ones physiological state. Things as simple as recognizing shallow breathing vs ‘proper’ belly breathing and fixing your breathing pattern on the spot can be a huge help in destressing.
Getting back to body language - OP could be stuck in a ‘closed’ body language position where people might pick up on it and might get the wrong idea of him. Similarly, if he is indeed stuck in a ‘closed’ state of body language, he’s setting himself up for being in a psychologically stressed state. Do you walk around with slumped shoulders and looking at the floor in front of you or do you walk around with good posture and looking ahead? Small body langugage changes can go a long way in helping change ones mood and perception from others - and those are hardly difficult to learn.
I feel the reality of it is more that the gymgoers that look at OP are more insecure than he is and wish they could DL 415 lbs. I feel like it’s human nature to be in awe of superhuman feats (in this particular case, physical feats) and to most gymgoers, a 415 lb DL is just that. They could be wanting to ask for advice, say ‘nice job’, ask what the exercise does, etc… There are millions of scenarios that are less stressful (and more likely, IMO) than the ones OP is imagining in his head. But again, things learned from those books (such as the contagiousness of smiling) will help with social situations. I bet if OP smiled at some of these gymgoers, they’d smile back and he’d realize he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill as someone earlier put it.
I guess after typing all that, I realize reading all those books, doing the self-awareness exercises, gradual social conditioning as you suggested, etc. isn’t necessarily easy but I don’t think they’re nearly as hard as people realize.
OP (and anyone else in a similar situation), I would definitely pick up those three books above as well as one on body language and implement the exercises into your life. It’s HUGE in helping controlling emotions, your life, social interaction, etc… [/quote]
Very good books and tips here, I also highly suggest checking out the power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle, I had in the past like I mentioned expirenced panic attacks myself and until I learned how to cure it the right way I become a little too dependent on medication just using ativan whenever I felt the need… The medical community has a big clash with marketing in the manufacturing of certain drugs thus people never really get the help they need, If you want the best way to cure any type of psychological need use the methods described by Dr. David Burns in his work. It really gets down to the core reasons and how to change them… I also used panic away which is what personally cured me… After I found myself a cure I wanted to help some other people out so that’s when I dwelved deeper into the different techniques and methods people use to cure different conditions… Really if you find something to the source you could cure something in twenty minutes that if you go about the wrong way could take years to solve.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?[/quote]
waiting…
(taps foot)
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
About psychology, a lot of what is important in relating to people is kind of intuitive. People either have it or they don’t. Some of those skills or personality traits are very hard to learn. [/quote]
While I’m hardly on your level of education/experience in the field, I feel like I respectfully disagree with the above statements. (Unless you’re talking about extreme cases like the singer you posted the video of.)
Like someone mentioned earlier, AC’s got a method of becoming more social (girls were mentioned, but it goes far past picking up chicks) - or, maybe in this particular case, just less anti-social/socially overstimulated.
In his methods, he prescribes reading the following books:
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathanial Branden
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Iron John by Robert Bly
Among a few others…
I took it upon myself to read some body language books in there, as well, but the above suggest living with self awareness and has exercises to help one do so. Since including some of them in my daily routine, I’ve been able to control my emotions MUCH better. Emotions including anxiety, anger, insecurity, irrational thinking, etc…
He also suggestions learning how to control one’s breathing… This was a huge help in controlling my anxiety, too. Learn to belly breathe - there are some pretty strong correlations between moods/psychological stress and ones physiological state. Things as simple as recognizing shallow breathing vs ‘proper’ belly breathing and fixing your breathing pattern on the spot can be a huge help in destressing.
Getting back to body language - OP could be stuck in a ‘closed’ body language position where people might pick up on it and might get the wrong idea of him. Similarly, if he is indeed stuck in a ‘closed’ state of body language, he’s setting himself up for being in a psychologically stressed state. Do you walk around with slumped shoulders and looking at the floor in front of you or do you walk around with good posture and looking ahead? Small body langugage changes can go a long way in helping change ones mood and perception from others - and those are hardly difficult to learn.
I feel the reality of it is more that the gymgoers that look at OP are more insecure than he is and wish they could DL 415 lbs. I feel like it’s human nature to be in awe of superhuman feats (in this particular case, physical feats) and to most gymgoers, a 415 lb DL is just that. They could be wanting to ask for advice, say ‘nice job’, ask what the exercise does, etc… There are millions of scenarios that are less stressful (and more likely, IMO) than the ones OP is imagining in his head. But again, things learned from those books (such as the contagiousness of smiling) will help with social situations. I bet if OP smiled at some of these gymgoers, they’d smile back and he’d realize he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill as someone earlier put it.
I guess after typing all that, I realize reading all those books, doing the self-awareness exercises, gradual social conditioning as you suggested, etc. isn’t necessarily easy but I don’t think they’re nearly as hard as people realize.
OP (and anyone else in a similar situation), I would definitely pick up those three books above as well as one on body language and implement the exercises into your life. It’s HUGE in helping controlling emotions, your life, social interaction, etc… [/quote]
I think this is a really good way to start taking on anxiety. Its pretty much exactly what all of my therapists have recommended for me. But I wonder how “extreme” a case would have to be. I dont consider my social anxiety to be that bad, but I have tried all of the above and it has not done anything for me.
Im not Powerpuff, but I think in the case of a true anxiety disorder, such as the one OP seems to be describing, it is VERY difficult for some people to unlearn their irrational thoughts. And I personally don’t think it has to be that extreme of a case. Also, since anxiety disorders are often accompanied with other disorders, it complicates things making it difficult to say whether or not one has the ability to learn or if its intuitive.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Ronceeboy -
A couple of other people have asked me about treating anxiety, so your post is something a lot of people can relate to. 
Here’s another way to look at this.
The acute stress response is a good thing. It’s important in your ability to respond to a dangerous situation. When we experience a threat, the sympathetic nervous system goes into gear with the release of hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline. This brings on symptoms like heightened arousal, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, and increased breathing rate. Even your hearing becomes more acute, and your response times are quicker. All good things to have when you need them. Fight or flight, protect yourself and your family, man up, you get the idea.
It becomes troublesome when it is triggered by events that don’t require this kind of response. Normal activities like going into public places can bring it on. It’ very easy for humans to get conditioned to respond like this. For example, we have a stressful experience at the Dr. office so now we go into a heightened state of alert every time we go in there. We come to associate the Dr. office with something painful or unpleasant, so now it’s a trigger. In this way, we learn to be anxious. People are smart. We can get conditioned to respond like this very quickly.
In the average person, it can take 20-60 minutes for your body to relax and come down after this response has been triggered. That can seem like an ETERNITY! In people with anxiety disorders, not only does it get triggered more easily, but it may take a lot longer to come back down to your baseline/normal state. Some people walk around at a higher state of arousal and anxiety all the time. It’s a very uncomfortable state to stay in, so people will do almost anything to bring it down. You see a lot of people try to self-medicate for this with drugs and alcohol.
Even more common, people develop patterns of avoidance like in the Jemma Pixie Hixon example I mentioned before. These tactics actually strengthen the anxiety response and can make it much harder to treat. This is the kind of thing that you absolutely don’t want to do. The bad news is you’ve been conditioned or learned to associate some social situations with anxiety. Happens to lots of people. The good news is, you can unlearn it. That involves recognizing that the thoughts are irrational so replace them with some sanity, and then NOT acting to avoid the situations that produces them. In fact, go put yourself in those situations as much as you can until you have it licked.
[/quote]
Thanks Powerpuff. You reminded me of a crazy episode I had a little while ago when you were describing the acute stress response. It was just a normal day at work and I was being sociable with people. I was telling a funny story during a pot luck at work and had everyone laughing. Then this one girl noticed something on my face and I swiped it off. It ruined the flow of my story and then I became conscious of people focusing on my face and not my story. And then BAM I just lost control of my body. It was like all of my sweat pores were unleashed and my heart went from 0-60 within seconds.
Literally within seconds I went from completely normal to as if someone poured a bucket of sweat on my head. It was like I just finished doing 6 1RM squats in 2 minutes. I had to excuse myself mid story to go to the bathroom. Afterward people were asking me what happened and if I was all right and I just wanted to shoot myself.
I still think of that moment, WTF was that? It was a non-event but my body had such a major reaction. And like you said, 20 minutes later I was back to normal but how do you save face from stuff like that. Now anytime I feel kind of hot under the collar or flushed, I just excuse myself right away because I am afraid of that shit happening again. And it sucks because I am in a high pressure job but then again I do kick ass when put on the spot.
But when it comes to just your normal everyday situation, small things can trigger me. For a long time I thought it was because of when I work out my body is used to going from 0-60 to hit heavy weight and it cant discern the difference between lifting 400 pounds off the ground and just telling a story to a group of people. Okay I’m rambling
Social Anxiety is treated and highly curable using severel things; usually pertaining to Interpersonal exposure, generally though things are case by case basis as some people have seperate things that may make them anxious, There are many tools to re train people but again some things work for some and not for others. It is about finding what works for you, Applying the neccessary action and changing the distorted or irrational thoughts behind any of the fears.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?[/quote]
waiting…
(taps foot)[/quote]
Dr. PP’s assistant here, Edge.
Which “normal,” statistical or functional?[/quote]
whats the diff, Chushie my good freind?
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?[/quote]
waiting…
(taps foot)[/quote]
Dr. PP’s assistant here, Edge.
Which “normal,” statistical or functional?[/quote]
whats the diff, Chushie my good freind?[/quote]
It would be normal for a human being to have “some” level of anxiety in a situation that could possibly put their health at risk…like being around a lot of other people in a crowd.
The person who feels “no” anxiety could be just as deviant as the person who experiences it regularly.
Someone would be functional if it did not impair their life in any significant way.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?[/quote]
waiting…
(taps foot)[/quote]
Dr. PP’s assistant here, Edge.
Which “normal,” statistical or functional?[/quote]
whats the diff, Chushie my good freind?[/quote]
It would be normal for a human being to have “some” level of anxiety in a situation that could possibly put their health at risk…like being around a lot of other people in a crowd.
The person who feels “no” anxiety could be just as deviant as the person who experiences it regularly.
Someone would be functional if it did not impair their life in any significant way.
[/quote]
Viva La Deviants!!!
thanks PX - that was a good 'splanation~
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so Powerpuff…
If I have no social anxiety, does that mean that I am closer to normal, or further away from normal?[/quote]
waiting…
(taps foot)[/quote]
Dr. PP’s assistant here, Edge.
Which “normal,” statistical or functional?[/quote]
whats the diff, Chushie my good freind?[/quote]
It would be normal for a human being to have “some” level of anxiety in a situation that could possibly put their health at risk…like being around a lot of other people in a crowd.
The person who feels “no” anxiety could be just as deviant as the person who experiences it regularly.
Someone would be functional if it did not impair their life in any significant way.
[/quote]
Viva La Deviants!!!
thanks PX - that was a good 'splanation~[/quote]
Cliff notes:
Edgy is not normal
PX has to explain in nice way
Y
B
Normal?
Deviants Unite!
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Y
B
Normal?
Deviants Unite![/quote]
I thought that was a given, we are obviously not normal, we try to break down muscle daily and eat like we are on death row.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Y
B
Normal?
Deviants Unite![/quote]
I thought that was a given, we are obviously not normal, we try to break down muscle daily and eat like we are on death row.
[/quote]
AND - lift heavy shit just so we can put it down again, repeatedly.
I eat like we are on death row in Bob Marley’s basement.