[quote]doogie wrote:
http://www.almink.com/humor/njsucks.html
NEW JERSEY PEOPLE:
* Many New Jersey residents are rude and obnoxious. Take those middle fingers and stick them in your mouths--you'll know what crap tastes like!
* Your typical Jersey girl is shallow, trashy, loud, and has more issues than a magazine stand. Even the hookers are rude!
* Even though Jersey girls like to pretend they are fair maidens, they lead the nation in the percentage of women who are infected with HIV.
* Many Jersey guys are on unemployment, disability, rehab, electronic monitoring, or just plain incarcerated. (By the way, these stupid Jersey girls consider these guys to be great potential fathers for their children!)
* Compared to other states, a disproportionate number of New Jersey people are on public assistance. Why should my tax dollars be used to support all of these ne'er-do-wells? Not anymore!
-
New Jersey has the seventh highest number of illegal immigrants in the nation.
-
Most of the people who love New Jersey have never lived anywhere else. Even worse, many have never been anywhere outside of New Jersey! It is no surprise that New Jersey is shaped like a cocoon to symbolize such an insular mentality.
NEW JERSEY STANDARD OF LIVING:
* New Jersey has the highest auto insurance rates in the nation.
* New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation.
* New Jersey has the highest cigarette tax in the nation.
* New Jersey has the second highest statewide housing costs in the nation: 73% above the national average!
* New Jersey has the third highest cost of doing business in the nation.
- New Jersey has the fourth highest health insurance costs in the nation.
* New Jersey has the fifth highest amount of tax-supported debt in the nation.
* New Jersey’s overall cost of living is 32% above the national average. Why pay such a premium to live in New Jersey when you could live in a place that is both nice and has a reasonable cost of living?
* New Jersey collects income taxes, sales taxes, property taxes, sin taxes, casino taxes, tourism taxes, and highway tolls, yet the state has massive budget problems. Where the hell is all of that money going? At least I know where it is coming from: your pockets!
* New Jersey ranks first in the nation in per-pupil spending, but its students' only achieve average reading and math scores.
- New Jersey is the most densely populated and overcrowded state in the nation. Hope you like standing in long lines and sitting in traffic jams.
- The Jersey shore (don’t say beaches) is vastly overrated. First, you have to fight your way through traffic jams and toll booths. Next, you have to pay for parking. Then you have to pay for beach tags to use a public beach! Finally, the ocean will be murky, freezing cold, or filled with jellyfish.
- Atlantic City will always be a cut-rate resort compared to Las Vegas.
NEW JERSEY TRANSPORTATION:
* New Jersey drivers were ranked the 3rd worst in the nation by Overdrive, a truckers' magazine. How damning of an indictment can you get?
* New Jersey drivers were ranked the 3rd dumbest in the nation by the GMAC Insurance National Driver's Test--a test that measures basic knowledge about traffic laws and safety.
* If the New Jersey DMV will give drivers' licenses to terrorists, it is not surprising that they will also give licenses to people who are behind-the-wheel terrorists.
* You have to pay outrageous tolls to ride on many of New Jersey's highways, all of which were built at least 40 years ago. How many friggin times do these roads need to be paid for?
* Whenever it snows, don't expect the roads to be clear again until the snow melts.
* New Jersey is the only state that was stupid enough to lose $469 million dollars on a toll collection system! To pay for that mess, New Jersey now charges $1 a month for the "privilege" of using its E-ZPass. Send it back now and get a new E-ZPass with no monthly fee from DRBA.
-
New Jersey’s roads were not designed by qualified transportation engineers, but by retards. Consider the following:
o There are many places on New Jersey highways where you can exit, but not get back on.
o There are many places on New Jersey highways where you can exit to go north on a road, but not south on that same road (or vice versa).
o There are many places on New Jersey highways where you can exit to go east on a road, but not west on that same road (or vice versa).
o There are many places on New Jersey highways where lanes just end without any warning.
o To make a left turn, you either have to use a jughandle or make a right at the next street and go around the whole damn block.
o It is more important to have a useless grass median than a left turn lane.
o When navigating a traffic circle, there seems to be only one rule: there are no rules!
NEW JERSEY LAWS/CRIME:
* New Jersey has the most dangerous city in America: Camden, NJ.
* New Jersey's answer to its high crime rates is stricter regulations, not stricter punishments.
* New Jersey cops need to concentrate less on speeding ticket quotas and more on the high crime rates.
-
New Jersey has now banned the use of handheld cell phones while driving. However, reckless driving without a cell phone will never be discouraged.
* New Jersey has strict gun ownership laws. Not surprisingly, most of the guns are owned and used by criminals.
-
You are not allowed to pump your own gas because New Jersey’s government deems a gas pump to be too dangerous for its citizens to operate. However, it takes three times as long for a “trained” minimum-wage attendant to pump your gas than if you had pumped it yourself.
- You are also considered a criminal if you set off a firecracker (even a sparkler!) or throw a soda can in the wrong trash bin.
-
You can’t buy beer in a convenience store, yet New Jersey does nothing about its residents who drive even worse than drunk drivers!
NEW JERSEY POLITICS:
* Every year, New Jersey's stupid voters keep electing the same crooked, tax-and-spend politicians to that big incestuous bed of state government corruption.
* New Jersey owns the distinction of having the first gay governor, Jim McGreasy. But unfortunately, New Jersey also owns the distinction of having the first corrupt gay governor. And need I remind everyone that the stupid New Jersey voters elected this sleazebag in a 15-point landslide?
* New Jersey residents receive less federal funding per dollar of federal taxes paid than any other state. So not only are New Jersey's politicians crooked, but they are also ineffective.
* The New Jersey Supreme Court is the most activist state court in the nation (well, maybe after Massachusetts!) For example, the court allowed Frank Lautenberg to replace Robert Torricelli as a senate nominee in 2002, even though state law clearly says that a party can replace a statewide nominee on the ballot only if the person drops out at least 51 days before the election. (Now the next time I have jury duty, I guess I can totally ignore the law and rule however I wish.)
* Of course, New Jersey further embarrasses itself when its stupid voters play right along and elect that old fossil Lautenberg to replace bribetaking Senator Torricelli.
NEW JERSEY ENVIRONMENT:
* New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites in the nation.
* New Jersey has the second worst air quality in the nation.
* New Jersey is "The Garden State" all right--complete with mosquitoes, gnats, fleas, ticks, biting flies, and chiggers.
* New Jersey is a dreary state that sorely lacks natural beauty, that is, unless you have a thing for pine trees, garbage dumps, sound walls, or urban sprawl.
NEW JERSEY APOLOGISTS:
* When asked why they like New Jersey, many New Jersey apologists will answer, "I like the change of seasons." NEWS FLASH: Almost all of the states experience a change of seasons, you morons!
* New Jersey apologists like to boast of their close proximity to many cultural and recreational opportunities. NEWS FLASH: Location is hardly a benefit that is exclusive to New Jersey residents. There are many other places in this country with plenty of things to do. Leave the New Jersey cocoon periodically and see for yourself.
-
New Jersey apologists like to say, “Don’t knock New Jersey until you’ve lived here.” Well, I guess that would make it even easier!
* New Jersey apologists like to say, “If you don’t like New Jersey, then leave.” Well, if such people like me are leaving New Jersey, then why are things getting worse?
-
New Jersey apologists like to boast that New Jersey is the home state of Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi. However, these two has-beens are so washed up that they couldn’t even rock the vote! [/quote]
LOL.
Whatever man. You can keep Texas. I’m not going to list a bunch of biased facts to try and outwit a dumbass.
I’ll never say, “Don’t knock it till you lived here”. Fuck everybody. Don’t move here. The state doesn’t want you here. We’re not fond of outsiders.
Say what you will. I’d rather be dead than move down South. Although it is funny that all you have to do to piss’em off is go, “Hey, you guys know we won, right?”
