I remember reading back when you first began about your thoughts on yourself and experiences that got you there and thinking “Hey! Kindred Spirit!”.
I’ve been seeing a therapist since late 2019. I have a long history of substance abuse followed by a long (getting there anyways) history of recovery. I have some very bad combinations of deeply engrained behaviors due to all kinds of bad things. These include ridiculous levels of violent aggression (like serious hospitalizations and some jail & probation till my early 30’s).
So, when I became angry and frustrated enough, and began to turn against myself- my wife convinced me to start seeing a therapist. The heart stuff precipitated the breakdown, but all of the destructive mechanisms were already there.
It has been very good. I’m learning to live with myself. That can be the hardest thing sometimes. Some people can’t.
This week I have 26 therapy sessions scheduled. 9 of them are men. I would say 40/60 men/women is typical for me. In this week’s snapshot, one is an IT guy, one a financial services guy, one an ex-con who works with a subcontractor, one an ex-con who can’t yet work (we’re working on it), one a college professor, one a custodian, and three engineers.
I don’t know whether this is typical of other therapists or not, but this week is pretty much like every other week. I think I may hold some advantages in the working-with-men sphere, which are the same interests that keep me at TNation. Not even the working out, but whatever it is about me that made me want to read Tom Clancy’s entire library. But who knows, maybe we all have this split.
Even better, they also have smaller packaged sizes too. That was an entire fillet, like 2.something lbs.
Nah. I did once a while back just for the novelty of it, but I do give them to a few friends and family. There are some licensing requirements in PA now, and I don’t really care to complicate it.
My tree cutting buddy just gave me a cream of mushroom soup he made with them that was out of this world!
If you’re interested let me know, and I’ll give you a holler when I have a good batch.
I’m really not one to say right or wrong. Just that these things have cost me dearly over the years in relationships, freedom, jobs, and certainly not last or least- health.
Today’s session went well. An observation I found interesting- my hr on the treadmill has been pretty consistent and actually dropped some in the past couple weeks, so I bumped up the grade from 3% to 3.5. No response. I figured it’s from living on hills my whole life. I’m not a fast walker, but I am a strong one.
But when I got on the airdyne immediately after I went straight up to 55 rpm and held steady there for 15 minutes.
I thought that was an interesting effect.
Also, on the rower hit 500m right at 2:30 and held a consistent pace through to 1km at exactly 5:00, but didn’t feel like I was chasing it at all, just a smooth consistent pace.
Overall it felt good to hit a stride and keep it. The past couple months have felt like one long performance chase.
Thank you. I’ve had pets my whole life and it never gets any easier.
So for tonight I derped up a couple of vids.
Happy dog:
Some lifting: totally goofed on the pause/play thing for the kiddo.
Kiddo being a little beast (yeah, it’s dark, but he really wanted to be in on it too. )
He was manhandling like 45 lbs. He’s gonna be a hand full.
I broke 300 pretty handily. Pretty happy with that. I’ll keep using that for a while and maybe check in with my buddy to see if he still has my old belt, or go over and do like a near max/finding failure session in a few months. I don’t like going too much over that without a belt. I’ll sneeze or something silly and blow a vertebra out into the back yard or something.
Did some pump stuff this afternoon before cardio. Just lighter weight e-z bar curls for a lot of reps and triceps. Was feeling speedy anxious, not like the paralyzing subdued kind and that always helps. Something just works there.
Cardio went great too. BP was great going in and pulse stayed low all the way through the treadmill. It went up on the airdyne and they signaled me to bring it down, but cut me loose on the rower where I got 1041 meters in 5 min. Most importantly, it all felt great.
Nothing wrong, just not quite right either.
)
