Yes and no… men face accountability far more often than women BUT it’s because too many men are simps and let women get way with poor behaviors
1 Like
Most people avoid taking responsibility if they can. It’s just that women often get away with it in situations that men don’t
2 Likes
Honestly, didn’t know it was Chinese. Could have been Japanese, or Korean as far as I knew.
You think maybe the abortion rate in China is high due to forced abortion? Or it’s “promoted” through the social credit system?
Says the dude with a TikTok page, haha
I don’t think behaviors have changed THAT much. People have always been selfish. I think more than a few forces are at work that seem to have resulted in more people casually tossing around psychiatric terminology.
For example, how many people do you know who use the word “trauma” or “PTSD” to refer to experiences that are not traumatic?
2 Likes
Is it a diagnosed condition? How is it determined that one doesn’t understand relationships? It sounds like sociopathy.
Honestly, I’m not that knowledgeable on the subject, but I assume it’s partially driven by the (failed) one child policy and couples trying to get a baby boy for cultural, social or economic reasons.
This article makes for a grim reading.
An estimated 20 million baby girls went “missing” from the population between 1980 and 2010 – either through abortions or infanticide so parents could increase their chances of having a boy, according to academic estimates from Xian Jiaotong University.
As a result, China has one of the largest gender imbalances in the world, with 34.9 million more males than females, according to census data released in 2021.
And related to the topic of the thread, I know there’s an established negative correlation between access to birth control and abortion rates. Black/hispanic women in the US apparently have abortion rates comparable to that of PRC, meaning crazy high.
2 Likes
Western women? Yes.
It’s almost like there’s good content on there, too…
Sure, men are guilty of this too. The difference is that men often arent allowed to not take responsibility.
Women hold men accountable (good)
Men hold men accountable (good)
Women sometimes women accountable
Men rarely hold women accountable
That might be correct. It does seem to be an overall trend, not just break ups.
No worries, I appreciate the apology but not necessary. Interesting conversations happen here but real life comes first.
1 Like
I would have agreed until I had a daughter. 99% of the world can fuck off but I would sacrifice literally everything for her, even pulling her out of mistakes. I think this is a special thing that is obviously very limited. Even my wife could test my limits. They’re set further back than for others but still exist.
What you’re describing as transactional to me is reciprocity. Maybe semantics but I think there’s a small yet important twist. Sometimes reciprocity for me is surface level and transactional, quid pro quo, sometimes it’s heartfelt and there’s a mutual desire to please. This is an expression of love for sure, even if a little measured.
3 Likes
I kind of think @anna_5588 is winning the day for me. Ironic that a woman who will likely never have children is dominating (in my opinion) this discussion.
Much as I typically disagree with @BrickHead it is nice to see him weigh in.
Always cool to see the unwoke humble brag.
Wait until she stops talking to you. You will still kill for her, but now her mother has all of the leverage. Daughters love their moms.
1 Like
Speaking of single moms…
do you think the kids just hate dad because they’re kids, or do you think that the moms often poison the kids against the dads? I’ve seen a good bit of the latter.
Yes.
Ambiguous answer, I realize, but I will share what I think I have learned.
Masculine energy is order and logic. Feminine is chaos and creativity. I know that is woo woo shit, but walk with me for a bit.
When my daughter was growing up, my wife was a helicopter. I am not criticizing, just a fact. They were/are buds. When my daughter, A, was looking at colleges, she was looking out of state for a Pre Vet program. I explained to her that out of state tuition would result in this much in loans, Vet school this much in loans, and when you finish you will make $77K per year on average and have a $26K loan payment every year - just facts based on current interest rates and tuition.
My wife told her to go where she wanted and she would help.
I told her the truth. It didn’t mean that she couldn’t go, it was just cold hard reality. My wife wasn’t willing to face that or to tell her that.
My daughter has been distant ever since.
I obviously still love her very much, and she has done well in college since getting washed out by anatomy and chem, but the honesty I offered her, logic and order, did not sit well.
3 Likes
I know the teenage years are coming and I already forgive them.
I do think part of the reason this phenomenon happens is because, maybe not ironically mentioned in this thread earlier, moms wind up being the most present. Tradition has dad as the providing, boundary setting protector and mom as the nurturing relationship.
I am happy to provide, protect and I am fair with my wife but wear the pants and will set boundaries yet I am intentional about getting on my daughters level, being present in her headspace and being part of her experience vs essentially allowing for it. I intend to keep this up.
Typical father / daughter dances aside, I have learned more ballet in the last few weeks than I ever thought I would know in preparation of a recital with a dad portion. I do tip toe jumps or whatever they’re officially called like a drunk moose on a broken trampoline but she loves it.
I also signed up for taekwondo when I signed her up, and while I’m in the adult class and she’s with kids, we practice belt progression forms and kicks together at home, and celebrate each new belt jointly.
She can deadlift and goblet squat with perfect form.
Her mom helps with hair and makeup stuff, does all the worrying (from a caring place) and fills all the traditional motherly roles, but I’m in my daughters orbit enough that I believe I’ll at least have a toe hold through the coming-of-age turbulence.
And I would not only kill for her but would die for her, even when she hates me 
1 Like
Let me preface this with the fact that I moved out when my daughter was fourteen. Also that I realize my experiences may be completely different than yours.
Yeah, they don’t care. Middle school means hormones and mean girls and there is no way your daughter will listen to you during those times. Mom has the ethos and you are just a paycheck/boyfriend repellent.
In my experience with two kids, mom was the most present because she was obsessed and would not give space for a relationship to develop between my daughter and me. Obvs, I could have voiced a concern, enforced a boundary, and I did not. I am not sure if this helps, but one parent can end up dominating if the other is passive.
I had a conversation with my son two years ago that I think is important to relate. I follow a guy, a guru type, that says the most important thing is for kids to know that they are loved. I told my son that and asked him, “do you know that you are loved.”
He did not hesitate.
My father will be 87 in a few weeks and still can’t tell me he loves me. Maybe he doesn’t. It’s okay now because I love myself.
But, my 17 year old knows he is loved, and I tell him almost every day.
2 Likes
I’m sorry man.