Let’s have a bit of fun here.
- You’ve never had tennis/golfers elbow
6 Likes
- You aren’t doing Deep Water.
8 Likes
Morning, Boris.
- Cutting rope post leg day is not a deeply unpleasant experience.
2 Likes
- Your lats don’t randomly cramp up while you’re driving or wiping your backside
5 Likes
You have to ask strangers on the internet if you’re training hard enough.
9 Likes
- You haven’t fallen ill repeatedly, injured yourself (preferably to the point of requiring surgery), or suffered through a depression — all the while thinking that the problem is that you aren’t training hard enough or doing enough crap.
2 Likes
Did he make you write that?
1 Like
You don’t use swear words when lifting.
1 Like
Yea, I train with the third ranked SHW of all time who never swears.
Maybe if he worked a bit harder he’d be the best!
I joke of course!
3 Likes
You don’t have a favorite orthopedic surgeon.
Before beginning a squat training session or events day, you don’t ensure to preemptively dial the numbers “9” and “1” on your cellphone and write your bloodtype on your Chuck Taylors.
You don’t measure RPE by where you blew out blood vessels/capillaries (bonus points if you take off your shirt after training and it looks like you’re wearing a blotchy red sweater)
You haven’t heard the song start skipping after a set: only to realize you were listening to an MP3.
You don’t have to throw out old training clothes because they’re soaked with “fear sweat” and smell like an ancient haunted burial ground.
You can’t get your heart rate up to it’s max simply by thinking about your next training session.
They haven’t named the Rhabdomyolysis treatment wing of your local hospital after you.
You’re not familiar with your top landspeed on crutches.
You haven’t learned how to be ambidextrous just so you can still brush your teeth after your dominant hand’s shoulder pops out AGAIN.
You don’t have a designated spot in your gym to lay down between sets.
You don’t have a protocol with your spouse/loved ones about how long you can be away from them in a training session before they should come looking for you, similar to what hikers and campers use.
You don’t understand the differences between Bengay, Biofreeze and IcyHot.
You don’t have a preferred anti-inflammatory.
Man, this could go on …
20 Likes
You have never thrown out under wear after a squat session so the wife doesn’t see them. Because no amount of scrubbing going to get the stain out.
12 Likes
You don’t no the difference between overtraining by volume and overtraining by intensity.
1 Like
You don’t listen to hatebreed, don’t have a hatebreed tattoo and you don’t tell everyone you know how much you like hatebreed
People don’t know you as “the person in the gym that cries in pain, blacks out and/or gasps in terror between reps/sets”
You’ve broken your foot or hand and don’t tell yourself “Whelp, it’s still squat/deadlift day”
2 Likes
You haven’t negotiated with or threatened the barbell.
5 Likes
You haven’t asked yourself “why the f do I even do this?” between sets.
2 Likes
You’ve been posting sagely advice on T Nation forums for 5 years yet have never posted a physique photo.
4 Likes
You’ve never dropped something on the floor the day after squat day and seriously considered just leaving it there.
1 Like
You don’t fear sitting on a toilet 2 days after squatting
2 Likes
You don’t have hemorrhoids.