[quote]Shire wrote:
Going to Las Vegas is the stupidest idea i’ve heard in a loooong time.
[/quote]
dude have you been there? its awesome.
[quote]sen say wrote:
Dood…what happened to your porn star dreams !!!
Serialy, don’t they have like co-ed kick ball or soccer leagues where you live? Join one of them. Take a cooking class. Take a dance class…chicks like salsa dancing.
And for real…I was once in the same exact situation you were in…I went to community college…girls were like girls in high school…they were interested in the guys at real colleges…by the time I got to the real college I was 23 and didn’t really want to party…I started graduate school at 25 and was married with a kid by then…the girls in my classes wanted to fuck me like there was no tomorrow…the older I get and the more successful I get the easier it is to score women…only thing is basically I’m married with kids…see the dilemma?
So…Live ol’ buddy ol’ pal…I know we’ve had our differences, but lately I’m kinda liking you…so…take heart my man…seems like you are on the path to…turning…into…ME !
LL Bean dressing and all ![/quote]
yea im a pretty likeable guy, if people like you and rainjack cant even stay mad at me over the internet, imagine how fantastic i am in real life, seriously imagine it.
[quote]polo77j wrote:
ok ok ok … so you live in “Boston” which translates to me that you don’t really live in Boston. If you did live in Boston, and this time of year, there are TONS of young co-eds wandering around. Try living around the Cape man, there’s shit down here for girls. I just moved back here and every time I’ve gone out I question myself if I had made the right decision.
As far as your friends being losers … welcome to the club little homie. None of the friends I came home to have changed a bit. NONE. And I had a large group of friends when I left for the Air Force/Learnin’ …
But, keep your head up man. You’re young, no need to rush. I know it gets frustrating but the best thing you can do is grit your teeth and keep moving forward; especially in the frustrating/difficult times. Keep your eye on the prize man and repeat a mantra that works for you or just kick the shit out of some weights, or let the weights kick the shit out of you … either way.
PS … don’t ever settle for mediocrity in yourself[/quote]
yeah i dont live in Boston, i live in Malden, its filled with white trash junkies and foreigners although so is the Cape so im sure you can relate.
i never settle for mediocricy either, i have high expectations and i think thats what keeps me moving every day. i just have the mindset that if you allow yourself to give up once youll do it again and again.
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
Shire wrote:
Going to Las Vegas is the stupidest idea i’ve heard in a loooong time.
dude have you been there? its awesome.[/quote]
Go to San Francisco!
It sounds like you’re depressed. It’s hard to attract and meet people when you’re in that state of mind.
Take some St. Johns Wort. Talk to everyone around you. Heck I can meet people at the supermarket.
Don’t you get to know your classmates? How about study groups?
More and more, people are meeting members of the opposite sex online. In fact, I think I read recently that it has become the singular most common way for people to meet people for both sex and relationships.
Likewise, more and more, what we used to consider a ‘social life’, seems to be gravitating towards the internet in a number of other ways. Plenty of users here have expressed similar sort of gripes, often with an undertone of “the people on this site are the only people I feel like I can really connect with”. This is not unique to T-Nation, it happens everywhere there is a ‘community’ on the internet.
So, you post here quite a lot livefromthe781, perhaps in some ways, T-Nation is your social life, or, at the very least, it fulfills enough of the criteria for you, that it lowers your drive to go out and find new friends/girls…etc.
Which is not to say that internet socializing is > or < real life, just seems to me that there is overlap, and that overlap may be more invasive than you think.
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
Shire wrote:
Going to Las Vegas is the stupidest idea i’ve heard in a loooong time.
dude have you been there? its awesome.[/quote]
No! i meant that moving there as a solution to your “problems”.
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
yeah i dont live in Boston, i live in Malden, its filled with white trash junkies and foreigners although so is the Cape so im sure you can relate.
i never settle for mediocricy either, i have high expectations and i think thats what keeps me moving every day. i just have the mindset that if you allow yourself to give up once youll do it again and again.[/quote]
What’s wrong with foreigners? aren’t the bulk of N.Americans foreigners?
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
If you suck at socializing then work on your social skills.
Moving to another city isn’t going to change anything. You will just suck at socializing in an unfamiliar city full of strangers.
And referencing another reply, you are coming across as desperate. Super desperate even and not just about women, about life in general.
Chill, skip a few gym days and hang out with the friends you do have.
i have like one friend left, i guess the others are mad after a stunt i pulled on Haloween.
i dont see where the super desperate stuff is coming from. i was just expressing the frustrations of not having a whole ton of exciting stuff to do.[/quote]
Others are mad after a halloween stunt,as in you suck as socializing. Work on that.
You don’t see where super desperate is coming from… hm.
[quote]AmandaSC wrote:
It sounds like you’re depressed. It’s hard to attract and meet people when you’re in that state of mind.
Take some St. Johns Wort. Talk to everyone around you. Heck I can meet people at the supermarket.
Don’t you get to know your classmates? How about study groups? [/quote]
i can talk to people at supermarkets too and i have no problems talking to someone if i have a decent reason to chime in but that dont mean im gonna be hanging out with em and it dont mean im gonna be cruisin supermarkets either lol.
i think my problem is just lack of time and the fact i chose to hang out with unoutgoing friends for a while. basically im a really outgoing person, ill go almost anywhere just for the possibilities and just to do something but i dont find many other people who share the same outgoingness i,e my friends from before.
Get a better job. Get a better school. Get a better climate and city or even a new continent if that’s what you need.
If you like being a waiter you should try to get a job at one of the high end hotels in your area or in a different city and climate that suits you more.
When I was your age I spent a few years traveling and working at luxury hotels and I can say with certainty you will find lots of beautiful and intelligent girls and interesting people of all types working in four and five star hotels in any major city. It is a very fun and social type of job in its own right.
Of course there is a higher level of competition to work at the Fairmont or the Ritz Carlton or the Four Seasons Hotel but if you are going to work in the service industry those are the types of corporations you should aspire to.
I can also say that if you move to Vegas and get a job at a place like the Bellagio or the Hard Rock Hotel you will surely find your social life much improved.
Some have suggested you might have a personal issue or depression and they may be right but changing your job school or even your state, climate, and city is a sure way to get you going in a different direction.
Depression and melancholy are a sign of a desire for change and only you can truly say how much of a change you really need. A new job, a new school, or perhaps even a new city or even country may be exactly what the doctor ordered!
You are young and unattached and there will be no better time to pack up and start new in a new place and if you really feel compelled to do so I say take a chance and embrace the journey.
[quote]Heliotrope wrote:
Get a better job. Get a better school. Get a better climate and city or even a new continent if that’s what you need.
If you like being a waiter you should try to get a job at one of the high end hotels in your area or in a different city and climate that suits you more.
When I was your age I spent a few years traveling and working at luxury hotels and I can say with certainty you will find lots of beautiful and intelligent girls and interesting people of all types working in four and five star hotels in any major city. It is a very fun and social type of job in its own right.
Of course there is a higher level of competition to work at the Fairmont or the Ritz Carlton or the Four Seasons Hotel but if you are going to work in the service industry those are the types of corporations you should aspire to.
I can also say that if you move to Vegas and get a job at a place like the Bellagio or the Hard Rock Hotel you will surely find your social life much improved.
Some have suggested you might have a personal issue or depression and they may be right but changing your job school or even your state, climate, and city is a sure way to get you going in a different direction.
Depression and melancholy are a sign of a desire for change and only you can truly say how much of a change you really need. A new job, a new school, or perhaps even a new city or even country may be exactly what the doctor ordered!
You are young and unattached and there will be no better time to pack up and start new in a new place and if you really feel compelled to do so I say take a chance and embrace the journey.
[/quote]
i like this post.
I’ve only read the first post in the thread but I can relate. I go to school part time and just recently started working full time so that I can save enough money to go to school for two years without overworking myself(maybe 24hrs of work a week by then). While going to work gives me some extra loose cash it really cuts into the rest of my days.
My week is set up in a manner that only lets me sleep at night 3 times a week and I can barely make it to the gym 3 times a week as is. My social life is practically nonexistent at this point. I have maybe two friends that I talk regularly and most girls at my school are usually taken or don’t show signs of interest. Winter is coming around and its starting to feel really shitty :(.
Oh, and I’ve seen your pics live. If you are having issues then I fear for my chances at a future relationship…
I’m in kind of a similar spot as far as women…meeting girls where I live is impossible, I live in the land of no (attractive) single women. I’m not even joking any girl who is even mildly attractive around here is attached (conservative area, people marry young, date long term). Tons of fat girls and mostly ripped guys (you do not see fat guys around here too often) means I basically am fucked as far as competition goes.
I’m getting pretty frustrated with it, because even though I meet a lot of people and go out twice or three times a week and usually meet a couple new girls, if I meet a cute girl I almost don’t need to bother to ask if she’s single, because the answer is always no. Even the ugly chicks act like they’re hot shit around here because they can actually have standards.
At least you (or I) don’t live in Alaska though.
I think I should prolly move. I need to do some research on areas where women are both approachable and attractive…
thats my other problem, i dont have a legit excuse. im not saying im GQ cover material but im not an ugly dude and im the only person at my school who looks like they lift, at least from what ive seen and im there every monday and wednesday from 8 to 3:30 so i think i have a good idea.
i brought this up in another thread and basically a few girls ive talked to, just casually, have said that i look like a manwhore. i dont know why either. i do have a lot of shirts with half-naked (some fully naked) girls on them, but i was wearing this shirt (it says “peace”
in the upper left corner)
http://www.80spurple.com/catalog/images/1small/obey_otszpwolv1.jpg
a pair of basketball shorts and sandals (that can be seen in my profile pics if you reaaaaally wanna see em) and still this girl was like oh, you look like a manwhore. but idk maybe it was a compliment? because after she said well if you were like a nerdy dude or something id tell you.
i mean idk ive heard plenty of girls say things whether it be yelling out a window or saying something or even at school when i walk by.
and yea, wtf is with EVERY girl having a boyfriend these days? like its boggling my mind because its like anytime a girl in one of my classes has a story to tell it involves their boyfriend, most the time its a girl i wouldnt want to date anyway but even still in my mind its like im pulling up a list of names and running a red marker across it, like “ok so we still have…that foreign girl, no no the other foriegn girl, the one who sits behind me in History and has that thing near her lip. well at least theres still the janitor chick who is way too hot to be a janitor.”
Im in pretty much the same situation. Except i dont have a job and i am 20. All i can say is maybe you should consider joining some social groups like chruch groups maybe. Thats what i am doing now. I go to this thing at my college called BCM, i dont really care too much about the religious part, but its a good way to meet people, especially girls. See if you can do something like that and get a friend to do it with you. Good luck man. I know how much being in our situation sucks.
A guy I lnew in college would go to clubs at 2am because any girl there was pretty much down to fuck. He had an amazing sucess rate, though not always of the highest quality.
Back on topic, don’t over think it. you’re in college. All the ass is at bars, esp. in boston. go there more.
I didn’t read this whole thread, but I thought I would chime in on the moving to Las Vegas part since I recently moved here. Vegas is defiantly not an easy place to live in, as far as meeting people. I moved here not knowing anyone and started working at a hospital thinking I would meet some people that way, WRONG. Everyone I work with, or see at work is like 40 with families, and of all of the people I have seen, there are like 3-4 decent looking ones.
The strip is fun every once in a while, but you have to realize it is VERY expensive to do anything down there, as well as the majority of the people down there are out of towners, so no real chances for friendship. People love taking trips to Vegas with the intention of gambling and losing their inhibitions, but you have to realize it’s different when you live and work in a place like that, I go to the strip like once every 2 months.
People say Vegas is in the top ten for attractive singles,I would like to know where they get their info, these ladies must be hiding cause I dont see them, and Im talking grocery stores, the gym, everywhere. The only place you see them is the clubs or bars. May be its because a lot of the good looking women work at the casinos and they work crazy weird hours, I dont know.
Im not trying to discourage you from moving here you but take into account that it is a very come and go city, some of the people I work with said it took them 2-3 years before they developed a really core group of friends. Im defiantly on outgoing guy too, but Vegas is a tougher city to live than I originally expected.
[quote]ndiddy85 wrote:
I didn’t read this whole thread, but I thought I would chime in on the moving to Las Vegas part since I recently moved here. Vegas is defiantly not an easy place to live in, as far as meeting people. I moved here not knowing anyone and started working at a hospital thinking I would meet some people that way, WRONG. Everyone I work with, or see at work is like 40 with families, and of all of the people I have seen, there are like 3-4 decent looking ones. The strip is fun every once in a while, but you have to realize it is VERY expensive to do anything down there, as well as the majority of the people down there are out of towners, so no real chances for friendship. People love taking trips to Vegas with the intention of gambling and losing their inhibitions, but you have to realize it’s different when you live and work in a place like that, I go to the strip like once every 2 months.
People say Vegas is in the top ten for attractive singles,I would like to know where they get their info, these ladies must be hiding cause I dont see them, and Im talking grocery stores, the gym, everywhere. The only place you see them is the clubs or bars. May be its because a lot of the good looking women work at the casinos and they work crazy weird hours, I dont know.
Im not trying to discourage you from moving here you but take into account that it is a very come and go city, some of the people I work with said it took them 2-3 years before they developed a really core group of friends. Im defiantly on outgoing guy too, but Vegas is a tougher city to live than I originally expected.[/quote]
That’s it exactly, but no one ever wants to believe it. lol
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
thats my other problem, i dont have a legit excuse. im not saying im GQ cover material but im not an ugly dude and im the only person at my school who looks like they lift, at least from what ive seen and im there every monday and wednesday from 8 to 3:30 so i think i have a good idea.
i brought this up in another thread and basically a few girls ive talked to, just casually, have said that i look like a manwhore. i dont know why either. i do have a lot of shirts with half-naked (some fully naked) girls on them, but i was wearing this shirt (it says “peace”
in the upper left corner)
http://www.80spurple.com/catalog/images/1small/obey_otszpwolv1.jpg
a pair of basketball shorts and sandals (that can be seen in my profile pics if you reaaaaally wanna see em) and still this girl was like oh, you look like a manwhore. but idk maybe it was a compliment? because after she said well if you were like a nerdy dude or something id tell you.
i mean idk ive heard plenty of girls say things whether it be yelling out a window or saying something or even at school when i walk by.
and yea, wtf is with EVERY girl having a boyfriend these days? like its boggling my mind because its like anytime a girl in one of my classes has a story to tell it involves their boyfriend, most the time its a girl i wouldnt want to date anyway but even still in my mind its like im pulling up a list of names and running a red marker across it, like “ok so we still have…that foreign girl, no no the other foriegn girl, the one who sits behind me in History and has that thing near her lip. well at least theres still the janitor chick who is way too hot to be a janitor.”[/quote]
Live, you present yourself like a man-whore. Ever since I saw you post the first time, I thought you seemed like a narcissistic player-type who thinks all the bitches want his shit. Even if this isn’t true, it’s how you come across, brother.
But I feel you on the ‘every girl has a boyfriend’ thing. Every girl I know worth dating or fucking has a boyfriend. Every girl I meet has a fucking boyfriend. And I’m not talking about getting shot down by the line, these girls really have fucking boyfriends.
Past summer I spent the better part of the night flirting with a fun, very attractive girl I met at a friend’s place. After about three or four hours of this, I felt I had it in the proverbial bag. I was almost disappointed in how easy is was. I was just waiting to get her alone before pulling the trigger when someone mentioned cops. Suddenly, and completely innocently, she says, “Oh, my boyfriend wants to be a cop.”
I think I just started at her in disbelief for a few moments.