Most of us know about the Darwin Awards. I just had a call from a friend at work about one of our coworkers that deserves honorable Darwin Award mention.
The guy is 48yrs old, divorced last year, he left her, and so he started on this new life. He decided to lose weight as he has one of those pregnant woman bellies and he belts his pants under his tummy.
He drinks slim fast, he eats KFC as “it is chicken” and tons of diet soda. He says he walks enough and lifts enough boxes at work. He works in Shipping & Receiving.
What the guy did was he started taking a spoonful of bird grit with each meal!!! He had asked me about eating healthy and I suggested an easy thing to do would up his fiber and protein (I also invited him to work out with me, but he declined). I suggested more lean meats, Benefiber and celery. NOOOOOOO he has parakeets which I guess you give the bird grit so they can digest their food. So the guy has been downing a spoonful of grit with each meal and has been doing this for a week or so. It clumped like kitty litter in his intestines and he was rushed to the hospital today from work due to severe gastric pain.
I don’t know the whole story but they may have to remove part of his intestine due to damage and infection from the grit.
folks… don’t eat bird grit.
wow. he should at least get an ‘A’ for effort.
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
folks… don’t eat bird grit.
[/quote]
What exactly is that? Like bird seed?
The Darwin award is too late for people who may have already procreated. According to Darwin he already won – his genes survived.
[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
folks… don’t eat bird grit.
What exactly is that? Like bird seed?
The Darwin award is too late for people who may have already procreated. According to Darwin he already won – his genes survived.[/quote]
it’s some kind of sand or gravel that birds eat to break up the seed. Now… I should google this as I don’t really know. This is just what I was told.
How do you even consider this a good idea?
Wow! That’s one of your coworkers? He’s amazingly stupid. He’s not in charge of anything is he? Or is he middle-management?
Based on your description of him, I’m picturing George Costanza.
And he declined to work out with you? Ghey!
[quote]AngryVader wrote:
Wow! That’s one of your coworkers? He’s amazingly stupid. He’s not in charge of anything is he? Or is he middle-management?[/quote]
He is a shipping and receiving clerk.
Nice guy… just no common sense.
Who takes nutrition advice from a parakeet?
[quote]mazevedo wrote:
Based on your description of him, I’m picturing George Costanza.
And he declined to work out with you? Ghey![/quote]
He actually looks a bit like a Mario Brother and sweats an amazing amount. He also smokes and eats jelly beans since they have no fat.
He did lose some weight, if part of his intestine was removed. So in all actuality it was a success.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
He did lose some weight, if part of his intestine was removed. So in all actuality it was a success.[/quote]
I like that, a half-full kinda outlook
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
Who takes nutrition advice from a parakeet?[/quote]
Better question: How do I become certified to give nutrition advice to parakeets?
[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
Who takes nutrition advice from a parakeet?
Better question: How do I become certified to give nutrition advice to parakeets?[/quote]
Just think, rather than putting down the fries and cookies and bad food he decided the best thing for his health was to eat gravel.
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
Just think, rather than putting down the fries and cookies and bad food he decided the best thing for his health was to eat gravel.
[/quote]
I am laughing and crying at the same time.
He has no concept of the distinction between fibre and dirt. What? oat bran was too flavorful for him?
Stupid people are awesome. Without them, where would my entertainment be?
[quote]Rattler wrote:
Stupid people are awesome. Without them, where would my entertainment be?[/quote]
Maybe instead of being entertained you could be enlightened by something profound?
[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
Rattler wrote:
Stupid people are awesome. Without them, where would my entertainment be?
Maybe instead of being entertained you could be enlightened by something profound?[/quote]
The knowledge to not eat bird grit?
The Darwin Award should go to all suicide bombers. I mean seriously, 72 virgins? They’re virgins for a reason champ, all you’ll get is a peck on the cheek and maybe a blowjob.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
The Darwin Award should go to all suicide bombers. I mean seriously, 72 virgins? They’re virgins for a reason champ, all you’ll get is a peck on the cheek and maybe a blowjob.[/quote]
LMFAO
Your responses are golden. Every time!
[quote]Rattler wrote:
LMFAO
Your responses are golden. Every time![/quote]
I ate a lot of sugar today.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
Rattler wrote:
LMFAO
Your responses are golden. Every time!
I ate a lot of sugar today.[/quote]
I just farted