Seeking Some Life Advice

Off Topic
21

[quote]KD0 wrote:
I meant serve like help people I guess, but there are plenty of ways to do that, you’re right. People are shitty.[/quote]

if that were true, we’d all give you shitty advice on purpose because we’re shitty. Hence, you shouldn’t take what anything anyone has said ever seriously.

I tend to disagree that “people are shitty”. At worst, people are dismissive but not maliciously so. They’re (we’re) just trying to live the best life we can (whatever that means). SOME people ARE shitty and they tend to be the ones you remember vividly as they elicited a strong emotional response from their shittyness. There are also GREAT people who try to make a positive influence in people’s lives who go more or less unnoticed.

TL;DR - Shitty people are shitty. Most people are benign travelers rambling through their life, great people are great people.

22

691×386 9.8 KB

A simple exercise to help you out. Fill in the pros and cons to determine which path is the best fit for you. Then do it again if additional decisions need to be made (ex. you choose college, do it for major’s).

23

OP- learn calculus through a free online program, learn a language through a free online program, check some books out of the library and read them for free (or nearly free), get a membership to a cheap, basic gym, and peruse any number of free weight-lifting routines, lift some weights 2 or 3 or 4 times a week according to the program, eat cheap healthy foods and cook your meals-relish the self-restraint you are applying at your job by not indulging.

Forget “knowing what to do”-nobody knows what to do, ever. There isn’t any reason (talking about physics) we, this planet or the observable universe even exist-we may not. My point is that your chubby, schlubby, shitty life is so easy to change if you just forget about some grand scheme, if you quit pondering what you “should” do and just do simple things that can improve it. So do those things, you’ll figure out the rest. Or won’t-but if you are strong, educated, and can take care of yourself in three years and you still don’t “know what to do” you’ve at least vastly improved the current state of affairs, even if you’re still working at some burger joint and saving cash.

24

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
A simple exercise to help you out. Fill in the pros and cons to determine which path is the best fit for you. Then do it again if additional decisions need to be made (ex. you choose college, do it for major’s). [/quote]

Hell yes. I actually did something similar not too long ago. I didn’t add trade school to it, but I did do military vs college and my conclusion was to do college first before the military if I remember correctly

[quote]Mcincinatti wrote:
OP- learn calculus through a free online program, learn a language through a free online program, check some books out of the library and read them for free (or nearly free), get a membership to a cheap, basic gym, and peruse any number of free weight-lifting routines, lift some weights 2 or 3 or 4 times a week according to the program, eat cheap healthy foods and cook your meals-relish the self-restraint you are applying at your job by not indulging.

Forget “knowing what to do”-nobody knows what to do, ever. There isn’t any reason (talking about physics) we, this planet or the observable universe even exist-we may not. My point is that your chubby, schlubby, shitty life is so easy to change if you just forget about some grand scheme, if you quit pondering what you “should” do and just do simple things that can improve it. So do those things, you’ll figure out the rest. Or won’t-but if you are strong, educated, and can take care of yourself in three years and you still don’t “know what to do” you’ve at least vastly improved the current state of affairs, even if you’re still working at some burger joint and saving cash.[/quote]

Good advice man. Not worry about what I should do, and just do something. I like it. I’ve been working on trying to cut out soft drinks first, drinking straight water and sometimes unsweetened tea. My energy levels in the morning are kind of shitty without the sugar rush but I am adjusting.

25

First let me say that you have come to the right place and are sure to find a variety of useful suggestions and recommendations (and plenty of support!) from the T-Nation community.

Second- many/most of the people who have or will respond have direct personal experience so you are well positioned to benefit from the trial and error of a large group of people who have actually built muscle, lost body fat, gained conditioning and gained greater control over their lives. This info will save you tons of time and help to focus your efforts on what is most likely to work for you.

I missed a year or two between high school and college and to put it mildly it wore down my self esteem. I felt ashamed and shrank from challenges and social opportunities and got bogged down. I was definitely “punching below my weight” and not living up to my potential.

I found that exercise helped restore my confidence and get my life back on track. It may/may not put your life back on track but I can personally guaranty that your self confidence will soar once you adopt a systematic weight lifting based exercise program. It helped me to believe in myself and have the confidence not to fear failure. From there I began to try new things and go for opportunities (academic,professional,and romantic). Then things started to go my way. I reapplied to college, got a finance degree started dating and rebooted.

Slowly and unevenly at first, but over time a random lucky break or two began to form a pattern that over time developed into success. Naturally there were plenty of set backs along the way but 20 years later I look back to that decision to adopt a lifting program as the turning point.

There are plenty of members who have adopted advanced lifting programs with sophisticated dietary programs to boost their progress. I am suggesting a fairly simple approach since it will be easier to maintain and will have a minimal impact on your budget. Once you establish a good foundation based on clean eating and a short list of compound joint exercises-then jump into the more sophisticated work outs and supplementation programs. Most importantly you need a program that you can stick with. Many find that it is difficult to maintain a radical change of lifestyle with a program that is too intense. Develop the habit of regular lifting and clean eating first then bring out “the heavy guns” and go for some serious intensity. You’ll be ready for it.

This may sound old school but believe that a focus on 6 exercises for your initial phase of training will bring the visible measurable results you need to jumpstart your progress.
Bench Press
Military Press
Squat
Dead Lift
Dumbell Row
Lat Puldown

The guys here are better positioned to comment on rep schemes but believe that the classic 3 sets of 10 would be a good place to start.

There are some pretty clear ideas about healthy eating and suggest that you focus on upping your fruit and veg intake and look for simple protein based main dishes. Grilled meat,chicken and fish. Wean yourself off the junk food and you will experience a transformation.
Good luck with your progress and hope this helps.

26

My two cents on the career front: do something. Now. If you’re not going to go the military or trade school route, go finish a full degree ASAP, preferably in something practical. More and more, a university degree is becoming what a high school diploma used to be: if you don’t have it, an awful lot of doors are closed.

I don’t think it’s necessarily hugely important what exactly your degree is in - it’s not going to set the rest of your life in stone. It’s just the first step. I know plenty of people who did degrees they never used directly (e.g., a friend who did Eng. Phys and has never done anything to do with engineering).

In particular, I know a lot of people who did one subject - physics, math, philosophy - and ended up computer programming anyway, 'cause that’s where the work is.

That said, I do always recommend getting something practical these days. When I was starting out, you used to hear a lot about how you should do something you love, and there’s always room for people who do something well, blah, blah, blah. That’s no longer true, if it ever was - I have friends who have spoken bitterly about the advice they received, having followed it and ended up in very difficult situations.

Computer Science courses didn’t interest you? So what? There are no unemployed computer programmers. My first degree was CS, and though I left it behind for a while, I’m now computer programming again. Do I love my job? No. Is it hugely interesting? No. But I have a job, I’m independent, and I make real money. Believe me, that is worth a LOT, though you don’t realise it when you’re twenty.

This time a year ago, my last career ended and I was staring unemployment in the face. Scary times, and if I’d actually become unemployed, I bet I’d be far more depressed than you are now. NO REGRETS about my CS degree. It will always be there. I have friends with only non-practical degrees (philosophy, literature, etc.) who are living off their wives or parents.

Whether or not something interests you is one factor of many, and doesn’t have to be decisive. If no subject is really calling out to you, just get yourself in a position where you can earn a stable living, with a salary commesurate to your abilities. You can always make radical changes in direction later on - heck, I’m in my second or third career, depending on how you count. Also, many employers will look at years in a fast-food job past college age as holes in a CV.

27

[quote]nrt wrote:
My two cents on the career front: do something. Now. If you’re not going to go the military or trade school route, go finish a full degree ASAP, preferably in something practical. More and more, a university degree is becoming what a high school diploma used to be: if you don’t have it, an awful lot of doors are closed.

I don’t think it’s necessarily hugely important what exactly your degree is in - it’s not going to set the rest of your life in stone. It’s just the first step. I know plenty of people who did degrees they never used directly (e.g., a friend who did Eng. Phys and has never done anything to do with engineering).

In particular, I know a lot of people who did one subject - physics, math, philosophy - and ended up computer programming anyway, 'cause that’s where the work is.

That said, I do always recommend getting something practical these days. When I was starting out, you used to hear a lot about how you should do something you love, and there’s always room for people who do something well, blah, blah, blah. That’s no longer true, if it ever was - I have friends who have spoken bitterly about the advice they received, having followed it and ended up in very difficult situations.

Computer Science courses didn’t interest you? So what? There are no unemployed computer programmers. My first degree was CS, and though I left it behind for a while, I’m now computer programming again. Do I love my job? No. Is it hugely interesting? No. But I have a job, I’m independent, and I make real money. Believe me, that is worth a LOT, though you don’t realise it when you’re twenty.

This time a year ago, my last career ended and I was staring unemployment in the face. Scary times, and if I’d actually become unemployed, I bet I’d be far more depressed than you are now. NO REGRETS about my CS degree. It will always be there. I have friends with only non-practical degrees (philosophy, literature, etc.) who are living off their wives or parents.

Whether or not something interests you is one factor of many, and doesn’t have to be decisive. If no subject is really calling out to you, just get yourself in a position where you can earn a stable living, with a salary commesurate to your abilities. You can always make radical changes in direction later on - heck, I’m in my second or third career, depending on how you count. Also, many employers will look at years in a fast-food job past college age as holes in a CV.[/quote]

What would you consider “practical” like something that leads directly into a career (nursing, engineering, accounting, education)? When I was taking the computer science classes I was pretty decent at the material I guess. But I just didn’t like it so much, but at that time I was also very depressed and had a negative outlook on life in general. I’m also pretty shitty at math so that worried me too. My original plan coming out of high school was to be a teacher and eventually a principal but that isn’t really a “growing” field and it certainly isn’t easy to get into with the amount of applicants for one teaching job. Maybe joining the Air Force and doing something information technology related might help me.

28

[quote]myway wrote:
First let me say that you have come to the right place and are sure to find a variety of useful suggestions and recommendations (and plenty of support!) from the T-Nation community.

Second- many/most of the people who have or will respond have direct personal experience so you are well positioned to benefit from the trial and error of a large group of people who have actually built muscle, lost body fat, gained conditioning and gained greater control over their lives. This info will save you tons of time and help to focus your efforts on what is most likely to work for you.

I missed a year or two between high school and college and to put it mildly it wore down my self esteem. I felt ashamed and shrank from challenges and social opportunities and got bogged down. I was definitely “punching below my weight” and not living up to my potential.

I found that exercise helped restore my confidence and get my life back on track. It may/may not put your life back on track but I can personally guaranty that your self confidence will soar once you adopt a systematic weight lifting based exercise program. It helped me to believe in myself and have the confidence not to fear failure. From there I began to try new things and go for opportunities (academic,professional,and romantic). Then things started to go my way. I reapplied to college, got a finance degree started dating and rebooted.

Slowly and unevenly at first, but over time a random lucky break or two began to form a pattern that over time developed into success. Naturally there were plenty of set backs along the way but 20 years later I look back to that decision to adopt a lifting program as the turning point.

There are plenty of members who have adopted advanced lifting programs with sophisticated dietary programs to boost their progress. I am suggesting a fairly simple approach since it will be easier to maintain and will have a minimal impact on your budget. Once you establish a good foundation based on clean eating and a short list of compound joint exercises-then jump into the more sophisticated work outs and supplementation programs. Most importantly you need a program that you can stick with. Many find that it is difficult to maintain a radical change of lifestyle with a program that is too intense. Develop the habit of regular lifting and clean eating first then bring out “the heavy guns” and go for some serious intensity. You’ll be ready for it.

This may sound old school but believe that a focus on 6 exercises for your initial phase of training will bring the visible measurable results you need to jumpstart your progress.
Bench Press
Military Press
Squat
Dead Lift
Dumbell Row
Lat Puldown

The guys here are better positioned to comment on rep schemes but believe that the classic 3 sets of 10 would be a good place to start.

There are some pretty clear ideas about healthy eating and suggest that you focus on upping your fruit and veg intake and look for simple protein based main dishes. Grilled meat,chicken and fish. Wean yourself off the junk food and you will experience a transformation.
Good luck with your progress and hope this helps.
[/quote]

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.

29

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.
[/quote]

Go
To
A
Doctor!

Even a mild antidepressant for a short period of time might be enough to clear the fog of depression long enough to get into a routine.

And if you are, stop fucking smoking dope and drinking.

30

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.
[/quote]

Go
To
A
Doctor!

Even a mild antidepressant for a short period of time might be enough to clear the fog of depression long enough to get into a routine.

And if you are, stop fucking smoking dope and drinking. [/quote]

I feel like I should…only obstacle is I have no health insurance.

31

[quote]KD0 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.
[/quote]

Go
To
A
Doctor!

Even a mild antidepressant for a short period of time might be enough to clear the fog of depression long enough to get into a routine.

And if you are, stop fucking smoking dope and drinking. [/quote]

I feel like I should…only obstacle is I have no health insurance.
[/quote]

Go get some of that Obamacare then.

32

dont know what to do join military you will meet people from around the country ,world
be exposed to alot of different things
buy the time i got out i had everything worked out
then met some fast women had a blast for about ten years what i can remember that is got married 2 kids 6 grandkids nothing went as planned
live life have fun

33

The military is a great way to learn who you are at an early age, that’s for sure.

34

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.
[/quote]

Go
To
A
Doctor!

Even a mild antidepressant for a short period of time might be enough to clear the fog of depression long enough to get into a routine.

And if you are, stop fucking smoking dope and drinking. [/quote]

I feel like I should…only obstacle is I have no health insurance.
[/quote]

Go get some of that Obamacare then. [/quote]

This. Lefties keep telling me how awesome Obamacare is, and people like you who need a doctor is why I need to be assraped and told how to live my life.

So… Take advantage of my ass raping and get yourself some help homie.

35

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Awesome reply man. I can definitely relate to the “punching below my weight” statement. I feel very unfulfilled and disappointed in my life when there are so many opportunities. It’s just so easy to get comfortable though.
[/quote]

Go
To
A
Doctor!

Even a mild antidepressant for a short period of time might be enough to clear the fog of depression long enough to get into a routine.

And if you are, stop fucking smoking dope and drinking. [/quote]

I feel like I should…only obstacle is I have no health insurance.
[/quote]

Go get some of that Obamacare then. [/quote]

This. Lefties keep telling me how awesome Obamacare is, and people like you who need a doctor is why I need to be assraped and told how to live my life.

So… Take advantage of my ass raping and get yourself some help homie. [/quote]

Be sure your ass raping won’t go to waste I guess. Not a fan of our health care situation right now. I hate it. I also wonder how much it would cost to just pay out of pocket though.

36

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Be sure your ass raping won’t go to waste I guess. Not a fan of our health care situation right now. I hate it. I also wonder how much it would cost to just pay out of pocket though.
[/quote]

All joking around aside. I can’t recommend you see a competent doctor. There is zero shame in it, and the fact you see there is a problem means you’re not in too deep. Just get the little bit of help you need and things will be a lot easier to deal with. Trust me.

37

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]KD0 wrote:

Be sure your ass raping won’t go to waste I guess. Not a fan of our health care situation right now. I hate it. I also wonder how much it would cost to just pay out of pocket though.
[/quote]

All joking around aside. I can’t recommend you see a competent doctor. There is zero shame in it, and the fact you see there is a problem means you’re not in too deep. Just get the little bit of help you need and things will be a lot easier to deal with. Trust me. [/quote]

I think I still do have a hint of depression that is like a cloud hanging over me, I’m very indecisive and can’t make decisions, also very unmotivated even though I know I need to change. It fucking sucks. Like I wake up and want to do something different and then I just don’t do it… I can’t really explain it.

38

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

Go get some of that Obamacare then. [/quote]

You need a job to get Obamacare.

39

[quote]magick wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

Go get some of that Obamacare then. [/quote]

You need a job to get Obamacare.[/quote]

I thought the entire point of me losing freedom was to fund the policies of those that couldn’t themselves?

40

This shit isn’t easy guys. I’m so drained from work its unreal.