George W. Bush: “Uh…well, eh…you see, we’re at war. And when you’re in a war, you fight, it’s what you do (smirk). The troops are doing just fine in Iraq. They have…um…food and plenty of water – it’s a desert, you know so you need plenty of water…lots of water. Let me explain something to you, water keeps you ‘hydronated’…”
[quote]Interviewer:[/quote]“Mr. President, the question was regarding a potential timeline of the troops exit from Iraq – when, in your plan, will the troops return home?”
[quote]GWB:[/quote] “You see (serious), I’m getting there, but you didn’t let me finish. These are complicated issues in complicated times and these sorts of questions can’t be simple as 1,2,3, A,B,C” (President looks to Cheney for a moment and mouths “is that right?”). “The world is a different place. We are in a war…and its a big war. It isn’t just Iraq, it’s on “terror.” That word and those A-Rabs just send chills from my belt buckle to my 10 galloner.”
[quote]Interviewer:[/quote] “And the troops, sir, when will they return?”
[quote]GWB:[/quote] “Man, you’re a stickler, huh? (Looking to crowd) who let this guy in here? I didn’t know he’d be asking questions like this. I think the troops could use some more water…and as long as their in the desert, George W. Bush is the man who will give them water! Unlike my opponent, who voted against supplying the troops and must have wanted them to dehydrogonate in the Iraqi sun. DO you know he voted for hydrogonating the troops but then changed his mind and said ‘I wanna de-hydronobate the troops.’ Can I get a ‘flip?’ Can I get a ‘flop?’ You know, I was a cheerleader back at Yale! Hahaha…Mr. John Kerry was doing some nonsense with the Political parties on campus but I was supporting my team…just like I support the troops. I even got the team water, sometimes…water’s very important.”
Watching Bush in the debates will be like watching Celebrity Jeapordy on SNL with Will Ferrel…