For whatever reason I have found that I find humor in screwing with some of the scammers that I receive junk mail from in my E-mail. You know the ones I am talking about. The princes and princesses from Nigeria that promise untold riches if you assist them in distributing their vast amounts of wealth to some needy cause.
Anyways, my most recent correspondence with one of these scammers is posted in it’s entirety below. This correspondence lasted for a couple of weeks before they gave up any hope that they were going to get any money out of me.
Was wondering if anyone else did this for fun.
Sep 25, 2014, at 5:01 AM,
Susan Ezra ezrasusan20@outlook.com
wrote:
I am Mrs. Susan Ezra from Israel, I have a project that I will like to discuss with you , so if you are interested just contact me for more details.
yours faithfully,
Mrs Susan.
From: Clinton131
Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
Mrs Susan Ezra" ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
Let me guess… You have a large sum of money that you would like to give me.
Sent from my iPhone
Susan Ezraezrasusan@yahoo.fr
wrote:
Shalom,
I received your message and i thank you very much for your response.Please can i count on you
regards to this Issue? I want you to assure me that you are going to keep this issue very secret to yourself alone that you will never discuss it with any one until I arrive to meet you.I want you also to promise me you will not hurt or betray me.
I am waiting for your assurance before i will go ahead in discussing details regards to this
With you.
God bless us.
Susan .
From: Clinton131
Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
Susan Ezra" ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
Oh goodie…I hope this is one of those get rich quick schemes. I can’t wait to hear back from you. On the confidentiality thing, Can I talk about it with my dog? I tell her everything even though she is a dog. I don’t have any other friends that I feel close enough to share secrets with. She doesn’t talk people talk so I think our secret is safe with her.
I would not hurt a fly so your personal safety is assured with me, unless you piss me off. I have then been known to pull the wings off of the fly.
Sent from my
iPhone
Susan Ezraezrasusan@yahoo.fr
wrote:
Shalom,
I thank you very much for your message.I did not reply your message immediately yesterday because i was so angry regards to your message.First,i donâ??t know what you mean by one of those get rich quick schemes. I think you are taking this for granted.Maybe you dont believe what i am saying.Did you think i am here for a joke or what? Mind you,i am here not for a joke.
secondly,the issue of your dog or whatever.However,thank you for your assurance of my
safety.My dear,God forbid i cant piss you off no matter what.If only you will atleast listen to me.I will be so grateful.
I want you to make a trip to Neitherland and meet with the security company to get the briefcase out from their custody and keep it for me.I don’t no how many days you are going to spent there but,I think one or two days will be enough depending.I will like you to get in touch with the
Security company to discuss with them and also conclude with the security company the day you are going to be in Neitherland and also to know from the company how to get the briefcase out from their custody so that we will know how to make the arrangement before you will be going to Neitherland.I will introduce you the security company that you are coming to retrieve the briefcase on my behalf.
I will give you the certificate of deposit which you will go with it to Neitherland and you are
going to present the certificate to the security company to proof that I sent you. After your return from Neitherland,you will start preparing my documents to come down from Israel to your country to meet with you as we agreed.I will give you the access code of the briefcase.So when
you are back with it,you will open the briefcase with the access code i gave you and bring out
some money to pay for my flight ticket to your country.I will like you to have one on one discussion and conclude with the security company before going.
I am waiting to read from you regards to what i told you.
Shalom.
Susan.
From: Clinton131
Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
“Susan Ezra” ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
My dearest Susan,
I am so excited to hear back from you and I apologize for making you so upset. I do look forward to making this plan work, whatever it may be. I do have to admit that briefcases with secret codes have my undivided attention. It sounds so James Bondish, if that is even a word.
Anyways, I have a few concerns that I want to iron out with you before we proceed. First off you never did say whether or not I could talk to my dog. As absurd as it may sound, I am very serious. I share everything with her and I need to know if I can discuss these things in confidence with her. Like I said, she is a dog so our secret is safe with her. I want to get your permission first so I don’t breach your trust.
Secondly, I am not exactly sure where “Neitherland” is. Is it neither here nor there? Or is it next to Bazzaro World? I could not find it on the map. The closest thing I could find was Neverland in Disney World.
Lastly, I need you to do something that proves I can trust you. After all, trust is a two way street and I need to have proof that I can trust you. What I want you to do to prove that I can trust you is to take a digital photo of yourself and send it to me with your email. In the photograph I am requiring that you hold onto a sign that says " I am a dirty pirate hooker!" As unorthodox as this may seem, it establishes the much needed trust between you and I so we can carry on with this business agreement.
I anxiously await your photograph.
Yours truly,
Kyotie Y. Lee
Sent from my
iPhone
Susan Ezraezrasusan@yahoo.fr
wrote:
Shalom,
I am sure you dont want to assist me by the kind of words you are using in your messages.It is clear to me that you are not serious to help me.I am talking about Netherland and what exactly are you saying that you cant find it on map.Well,all the same.Thanks so much.I dont even
trust you.
Susan.
From: Clinton131
Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
“Susan Ezra” ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
Susan,
How could you not trust me? I am only asking questions to make sure I am perfectly clear what you want me to do and I want to make sure I can trust you. The last time I tried to help someone from Nigeria I paid over $2000.00 dollars and did not get anything in return. If I try to help someone again I want to make sure I can trust them. That is why I asked you to take a photograph of yourself and email it to me. I need to be able to trust you as well.
Look back at your email to me. You said to go to Neitherland not the Netherlands. Of course I know where the Netherlands are but that is not where you said to go. Maybe you are just a horrible speller or maybe you are just dim witted.
Let me know if you want my help or not. I can’t imagine that you have a lot of people willing to drop everything and fly to the Netherlands.
Kyotie.
Sent from my iPhone
On Sep 30, 2014, at 4:59 AM, Susan Ezra ezrasusan@yahoo.fr wrote:
I indeed understood all that you have said.But i want you to know that you shouldnt have capitalized regards to a minnor mistake made by me.you know what i was trying to say but you just wanted to use it as an offence.Still your message did not change,it still the same.there is no seriousness in your message.the reason why i said this is because in your last message you said,you cant imagine that i have a lot of people willing to drop everything and fly to the Netherlands.what exactly are you trying to say here?
Susan.
From: Clinton131
To: Susan Ezra ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
Subject: Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
My dearest Suman,
I again apologize for how my emails are coming across to you. They are not meant to anger you. I am not very educated so I have a hard time expressing myself in writing sometimes. My messages come across as condescending or sarcastic but rest assured that is not my intent. If you were able to see me right now you would see that I have a very serious and stoic look on my face. Be assured that I am taking this all very seriously.
You ask what I meant by saying that you can’t exactly have a lot of people willing to drop everything and fly to the Netherlands. You do realize that I am from the United States right? How do you propose that I get to the Netherlands? Walk? Swim? Ride a dolphin across the Atlantic Ocean? My first thought was that I fly to the Neitherlands by plane. Do you have another means of transportation in mind?
Sincerely,
Y. Lee Kyotie
Sent from my iPhone
From: Susan Ezra ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
To: Clinton131
Subject: Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
I thank you very much for your message.If you can not be able to make the trip to Netherland,I think the best option for me is to suggest to the security company to deliver the case to us in your home united states that you can not be able to come to their office in Netherland.Let me read from you regards to this idea then i will have to discuss with the security company regards to the release and delivery of my deposit to us in united states.
Meanwhile,i want you to assure me that you are going to be honest and sincere to me in this issue that you are not going to betray me when the briefcase is delivered to you by the security company.Bear in mind that the security company does not know the exact content of the briefcase because it was deposited as family valuables on the very day I and my late Husband made the deposit which i have the documents intact here with me.So,while communicating with the security company,you should not disclose the content to them.
Please you should keep this issue very secret and never to discuss it with anyone until we have this issue concluded.Promise me you will not discuss it with anyone.I am saying this because of our safety and for the safety of the briefcase.I am counting on you believing you are not going to hurt me when i come to your country.I am scared but i have to allow God to take control.I am waiting to read from you.
God bless us.
Susan.
From: Clinton131
To: Susan Ezra ezrasusan@yahoo.fr
Subject: Re: From Mrs Susan Exra
My dearest Susan,
Good news! I recently came into some money so I can travel to the Netherlands. I always wanted to travel there anyways. I could see the scenery, enjoy the culture of the country, and retrieve the briefcase all in one trip. What city should I fly into?
Also, we never established if I can trust you or not. I need that photograph as a token of trust before we continue on. I don’t like how elusive you are being about this whole matter. Remember the photo has to be a picture of yourself holding onto a sign that says " I am a dirty pirate hooker." I am requiring the sign so I know that the photo is authentic and I am not corresponding with some scammer. Like I said, I have already been scammed by some filthy Nigerian and I don’t want it to happen again.
You speak of this briefcase being so secret and all, but can I trust you as to what is in the briefcase? Are the contents legal for me to possess in the event I get detained by the authorities?
Also I don’t want to go to all of this trouble just to find out that I am retrieving a briefcase that contains a bunch of sex toys that your late husband used on you in inappropriate ways? I would hope that the contents will benefit me for my troubles.
Yours forever,
Y. Lee
Sent from my iPhone
