RIP Amanda Todd

Off Topic
141

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
I’ve mentioned much of my experiences with being “bullied”, picked on, etc… But, i’ll add my 2 cents…

Here is a very general overview of what i’ve experienced, until I was a senior in HS.

First, my last name is ‘Gay’. Now, while it probably doesn’t mean that much now, it was a different story as a kid who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s.

I was also a late bloomer. So, I was a little shorter than average, skinnier than average, quiet/shy, not very athletic, not a very good student, wore what I wanted to wear, hair parted on the side… and just not a ‘fit’ anywhere. Therefore, I was a ‘geek’.

Anyway, here are some things that occurred from grade school till about 11th grade, with some kind of shit happening on the majority of school days. I still went every day. (I was also picked on by neighborhood kids)

I have been spit on, pushed/shoved/punched, books knocked out of my hands and kicked down the hallway, de-pantsed and been called “baldy” for not having the proper amount of pubic hair for middle school, apparently… ears flicked from people sitting behind me, chased from school, girls laughing in my face after they asked what my last name was… Just An infinite amount of shit has been said to me. Well, that’s all I can remember at the moment.

99% of these people hung out in groups. They were the jocks and/or “burnouts”, so no matter if you fought one of them, you still got your ass beat… and, then they were even MORE relentless in tormenting you, afterwards. I only recall a few situations where anyone ever stuck up for me. Even though I wasn’t expecting anyone to stick up for me, it was cool when it happened. I just prayed that it didn’t make things worse.

Other things that went along with the above… Most of the “friends” that I had made in school through the years, would either watch, or, even worse, join in when you were catching shit for… whatever, at the time.

I did a hell of a lot of fighting, running my ass off, (or both) through those years.

In my situation, I really didn’t see a solution that would cause any of this from stopping forever, except giving it time and hoping that it just got old. That took until I was a senior in HS, which was the best fucking year of my life! I started to work out and that had a lot to do with my confidence and self-esteem… not to mention drinking and partying… :slight_smile:

Trying to recall this crap, while trying to focus on work, isn’t a good time… i’ll stop here, I guess.[/quote]

Is your first name Richard?

I hope so. Lol[/quote]

Nope. It’s Ben.[/quote]

That’s pretty damn gay.[/quote]

Of course!
[/quote]

You old queen[/quote]
Only on Friday and Saturday nights.[/quote]

I wish I went to school with you. I would’ve beat your ass every day.

Then disappear for a decade so I could become a passable TS and trick you into fucking me…then be like “dude I used to be a man. You fucked me. I used to be a dude…you like dudes”

142

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
I’ve mentioned much of my experiences with being “bullied”, picked on, etc… But, i’ll add my 2 cents…

Here is a very general overview of what i’ve experienced, until I was a senior in HS.

First, my last name is ‘Gay’. Now, while it probably doesn’t mean that much now, it was a different story as a kid who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s.

I was also a late bloomer. So, I was a little shorter than average, skinnier than average, quiet/shy, not very athletic, not a very good student, wore what I wanted to wear, hair parted on the side… and just not a ‘fit’ anywhere. Therefore, I was a ‘geek’.

Anyway, here are some things that occurred from grade school till about 11th grade, with some kind of shit happening on the majority of school days. I still went every day. (I was also picked on by neighborhood kids)

I have been spit on, pushed/shoved/punched, books knocked out of my hands and kicked down the hallway, de-pantsed and been called “baldy” for not having the proper amount of pubic hair for middle school, apparently… ears flicked from people sitting behind me, chased from school, girls laughing in my face after they asked what my last name was… Just An infinite amount of shit has been said to me. Well, that’s all I can remember at the moment.

99% of these people hung out in groups. They were the jocks and/or “burnouts”, so no matter if you fought one of them, you still got your ass beat… and, then they were even MORE relentless in tormenting you, afterwards. I only recall a few situations where anyone ever stuck up for me. Even though I wasn’t expecting anyone to stick up for me, it was cool when it happened. I just prayed that it didn’t make things worse.

Other things that went along with the above… Most of the “friends” that I had made in school through the years, would either watch, or, even worse, join in when you were catching shit for… whatever, at the time.

I did a hell of a lot of fighting, running my ass off, (or both) through those years.

In my situation, I really didn’t see a solution that would cause any of this from stopping forever, except giving it time and hoping that it just got old. That took until I was a senior in HS, which was the best fucking year of my life! I started to work out and that had a lot to do with my confidence and self-esteem… not to mention drinking and partying… :slight_smile:

Trying to recall this crap, while trying to focus on work, isn’t a good time… i’ll stop here, I guess.[/quote]

Is your first name Richard?

I hope so. Lol[/quote]

Nope. It’s Ben.[/quote]

That’s pretty damn gay.[/quote]

Of course!
[/quote]

You old queen[/quote]
Only on Friday and Saturday nights.[/quote]

I wish I went to school with you. I would’ve beat your ass every day.

Then disappear for a decade so I could become a passable TS and trick you into fucking me…then be like “dude I used to be a man. You fucked me. I used to be a dude…you like dudes” [/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That was good, Rock :slight_smile:

You’re creative, if nothing else.

144

[quote]punchedbear wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

When you’re bullied like she was, all you do is want it to STOP. She was only 15 fucking years old… without any real support group. The amount of stress and pressure is huge and you’re constantly trying to figure out what you can do to make it all stop. At a certain point, your mind sees the quickest and most sure-fire way of ending it all.
[/quote]

The more I read the more I think she wasnt really bullied but preyed upon by a really bad man. I would charge the kids that reposted his pics of her with child pornography and let them live with a sex register attached to their name for the rest of their lives.

This wasnt bullying this was a criminal act.[/quote]

damn, I hope something along those lines happens. Make an example of them.

145

That little dialog between ih and rock brings up a good point though. Obviously that was just friendly banter.

While I know bullying can go a lot further than this… there are the cases where what seems like friendly banter to one party, is taken really badly by the other.

For that matter, when I was a freshman in high school, and I had just joined the track team, I didn’t respond well to a lot of the locker room talk. It wasn’t bullying by any means, nothing targeted, but I had a fragile self esteem coupled with anxiety, and took some of that stuff the wrong way. Too me, it actually felt very targeted, and I took the teasing pretty personal. Granted, I grew out of that quickly, but it did wreak some havoc for a bit.

And that’s where the line gets a bit fuzzy.

146

For me, I know that dealing with bullying growing up played a role in getting attached to lifting in my teens, because it was my way of fixing the problem. Figured that if I had muscles, people wouldn’t mess with me. Seemed to work, for the most part.

Having said that, there’s people I still resent to this day for the way they treated me and others. A couple times I joined in when others were being bullied, just some minor verbal abuse. It felt good, to be temporarily “accepted” by the people who would pick on me. Then I would sometimes run into that person we were picking on later, and I felt guilty, like “why the heck were we being dicks to this kid?”. Over time, I realized it was the bully’s way of validating himself, and dealing with his insecurities, and I felt pathetic for joining in.

It’s that stupid mob mentality. People offer up their beliefs and values at the altar of acceptance, and eventually have neither values nor acceptance. Well, sometimes.

147

I have been bullied and been the bully. I think the second partially stems from the first, but still no excuse.

It’s kind of odd but I use to bully one of my oldest and best friends when we first met. Maybe it is all a clever ploy and he is just waiting for an opportune moment to exact his revenge. Thirty eight years, thats patience.

148

[quote]infinite_shore wrote:
Bullies on TN: 2 (1 + 1/2 +1/2)
Bully victims on TN: a gazillion.

Disappointed.

ps: We should get Chris involved - he was fatso, wasn’t he? He might have some heart-warming stories as well.

[/quote]

Well, as for me, it was partially the reason I started training. I didn’t want to be scrawny anymore as that was just an open invitation. Of course it took on a maniacal life of it’s own, shortly there after, it’s not why I train now. So that fact that a lot of people who train were bullied, is not surprising. Training is a way to deal with and get out of it. So it makes sense in a way. If you ‘look’ like you can kick some ass, then people automatically do not fuck with you.

I also don’t put up with crap anymore. I am also very cognizant of my kids situations. If I detect any bullying I will put an instance stop to it by any means necessary. I will not allow it to happen to them, period. Fortunately, they seemed to have been spared, at least so far.
And if they bully, whoa they are in some seriously deep shit.

149

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever.

150

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

I don’t know if I’d agree that it was the experiences you guys had so much as the choices you made as to how to deal with those experiences. Other people coming through the same experiences and making different choices turn out very differently becoming bitter, angry, isolated and seeking to pay their pain forward to others. The Columbine kids and other angry loner types being extreme examples of this.

I don’t really think picking on kids is a surefire way to raise caring, compassionate adults rather I think it’s a testament to your guys’ individual character that you were able to perform that remarkable emotional alchemy which allows some people to convert suffering and negativity into decency and authenticity. I don’t know what makes some people that way, but I sure am grateful for it. I prefer to see some good come out of all the awful crap that happens in this world for no apparent reason. Just my opinion.

151

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

Thanks! The old adage is correct, nice guys finish last, BUT I won’t change that. At least not on purpose. I would rather be mocked, criticized and maligned than be a dick.

152

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

Thanks Chus, you’re a hell of a nice guy yourself.

153

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

I don’t know if I’d agree that it was the experiences you guys had so much as the choices you made as to how to deal with those experiences. Other people coming through the same experiences and making different choices turn out very differently becoming bitter, angry, isolated and seeking to pay their pain forward to others. The Columbine kids and other angry loner types being extreme examples of this.

I don’t really think picking on kids is a surefire way to raise caring, compassionate adults rather I think it’s a testament to your guys’ individual character that you were able to perform that remarkable emotional alchemy which allows some people to convert suffering and negativity into decency and authenticity. I don’t know what makes some people that way, but I sure am grateful for it. I prefer to see some good come out of all the awful crap that happens in this world for no apparent reason. Just my opinion.[/quote]

I agree. There was a lot of conscious choice on my part to lift myself out of the mire. A lot of soul searching and deciding what kind of person I really wanted to be and not let what happened to me define me.
I could have shot up a school, or build walls around myself and shut people out, gotten mean and become a bully myself, but it’s not what I wanted. You really have to ask yourself “What kind of person do I want to be?”
In all honesty though, it’s not really over for me either. “Bullying” can take on different forms later in life and it’s rooted in betrayal. When the people closest to you, try to manipulate and control you, and then walk out on you and cast you to the side as if garbage takes on the same feelings and picks at some old scabs. It’s really the same thing as bullying except that instead of a group of kids getting a laugh at your expense, it’s people you trust betraying that in the most fundamental ways, resulting in treating you as if your are worth less than dog shit.
So in short, I really thought it was over in school, but it took on a new life later in life… I did have a nice break from it though, before phase 2.
Again though it comes down to choices, and I am not going to let what others have done to me change me into a worse person. Hell, I have enough weaknesses as it is, I am not going to assume others because people can be assholes.

154

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?
[/quote]

Clearly you’ve never experienced anything like that. Good for you, but it definitely prevents you from truly understanding what went wrong with her and the damage endless taunting and mocking can do to a person.
There is a sadness and depression that goes along with this that are too deep for words. It’s difficult to understand when your own world is just peachy.[/quote]

On facebook? no I’m a little older. Endless taunting? No, because there no such thing. Eventually it all ends. Most people have been taunted the difference is they get through it. I was teased for 2 years, to the point the second year was I fought all the time. 2 years seems like forever to 10 y/o it was up to my parents to show me that it’s not. For this girl nobody taught her how to get through it. Reactions like “oh someone could never understand” just makes it so the next girl will think the proper reaction is suicide. Spare the rod spoil the child. Would you rather witness a hundred 14 y/o girls go through what she did then kill herself or learn from the mistakes of the past?

Why was she still allowed on facebook after being in that situation several times?
What kind of therapy was she receiving?

Sadness and depression, you have to be fuckin kidding me go do some missionary work in 3rd world countries then tell me about how facebook is making you sad and depressed. Or work with a kid whose father’s new wife figured out at 9 y/o that he wasn’t your father, and now he refuses to act like the loving dad he did for 9 years. Then tell me about sadness and depression.

155

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

Thanks! The old adage is correct, nice guys finish last, BUT I won’t change that. At least not on purpose. I would rather be mocked, criticized and maligned than be a dick. [/quote]

You are missing out.

I do not try to be nice, I try to be civil.

If that gets misinterpreted as weakness however I turn into the incredible alpha schlong.

And I enjoy it.

Very.

156

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?
[/quote]

Clearly you’ve never experienced anything like that. Good for you, but it definitely prevents you from truly understanding what went wrong with her and the damage endless taunting and mocking can do to a person.
There is a sadness and depression that goes along with this that are too deep for words. It’s difficult to understand when your own world is just peachy.[/quote]

On facebook? no I’m a little older. Endless taunting? No, because there no such thing. Eventually it all ends. Most people have been taunted the difference is they get through it. I was teased for 2 years, to the point the second year was I fought all the time. 2 years seems like forever to 10 y/o it was up to my parents to show me that it’s not. For this girl nobody taught her how to get through it. Reactions like “oh someone could never understand” just makes it so the next girl will think the proper reaction is suicide. Spare the rod spoil the child. Would you rather witness a hundred 14 y/o girls go through what she did then kill herself or learn from the mistakes of the past?

Why was she still allowed on facebook after being in that situation several times?
What kind of therapy was she receiving?

Sadness and depression, you have to be fuckin kidding me go do some missionary work in 3rd world countries then tell me about how facebook is making you sad and depressed. Or work with a kid whose father’s new wife figured out at 9 y/o that he wasn’t your father, and now he refuses to act like the loving dad he did for 9 years. Then tell me about sadness and depression.
[/quote]

You know, I will never understand the whole “someone, somewhere has it worse than you so you shouldn’t feel sad” line. My wife was recently diagnosed with a highly aggressive form of breast cancer at 33 yrs old - mastectomy, lymph nodes bad ass chemo radiation etc. We have a three year old daughter, a mortgage, money worries and all sorts of goals and dreams that now stand in uncertainty and peril. Are we allowed to feel sad? What about the woman in the bed next to my wife whose cancer has spread to her bones, blood and brain? She’s got it way worse so we should suck it up and be grateful, right? Should it cheer us up that so-and-so’s aunt Mildred had it way worse than my wife and she’s fine? Well, it doesn’t. Our problems are our problems and how they stack up to other people’s problems is irrelevant.

You know what else, this is my biggest problem right now, but it doesn’t “feel” that much worse than whatever my biggest problem was before all this, it’s still MY biggest problem. I’m fortunate to be a happy, adaptable and resilient kind of guy so I’m handling it fairly well. What about the guy who doesn’t handle it like I do. Is he justified in feeling worse than I do while we’re going through the exact same thing? Absolutely he is, because no two people go through the exact same thing because our individual perceptions, temperaments and responses make the experience unique to us. If somebody busted down my door tomorrow as part of some third world type insurrection would that become my biggest problem? Probably. Does that mean my current problems are inconsequential? Nope.

This girl’s whole world was high school, facebook etc. and her biggest problems were to do with those things. To me they might seem kind of trivial, to her they were anything but. Her perceptions made those events very painful for her. They created the maximum amount of pain she was capable of feeling, regardless of the circumstances. It doesn’t matter how anybody else would perceive her circumstances, it’s about how SHE perceived them. This is a basic element of the human experience which so many people seem unable to grasp. Should she have gotten better help/support? Definitely. Does that make this any less sad? Nope.

157

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?
[/quote]

Clearly you’ve never experienced anything like that. Good for you, but it definitely prevents you from truly understanding what went wrong with her and the damage endless taunting and mocking can do to a person.
There is a sadness and depression that goes along with this that are too deep for words. It’s difficult to understand when your own world is just peachy.[/quote]

On facebook? no I’m a little older. Endless taunting? No, because there no such thing. Eventually it all ends. Most people have been taunted the difference is they get through it. I was teased for 2 years, to the point the second year was I fought all the time. 2 years seems like forever to 10 y/o it was up to my parents to show me that it’s not. For this girl nobody taught her how to get through it. Reactions like “oh someone could never understand” just makes it so the next girl will think the proper reaction is suicide. Spare the rod spoil the child. Would you rather witness a hundred 14 y/o girls go through what she did then kill herself or learn from the mistakes of the past?

Why was she still allowed on facebook after being in that situation several times?
What kind of therapy was she receiving?

Sadness and depression, you have to be fuckin kidding me go do some missionary work in 3rd world countries then tell me about how facebook is making you sad and depressed. Or work with a kid whose father’s new wife figured out at 9 y/o that he wasn’t your father, and now he refuses to act like the loving dad he did for 9 years. Then tell me about sadness and depression.
[/quote]

Yeah, you got no clue. Get on your knees and thank God every fucking night you have no idea what you are talking about, because you don’t want to. And if you don’t believe in God, then thank the elusive nothing that is responsible for all existence.

We’re not talking about “facebook” I don’t have a facebook account and do ever plan on having one. We’re talking about bullying in general. Facebook is a means. If she turned off her computer, she would have still been bullied.

And you can shove it with the whole ‘starving kids in Africa’ bit.

158

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?
[/quote]

Clearly you’ve never experienced anything like that. Good for you, but it definitely prevents you from truly understanding what went wrong with her and the damage endless taunting and mocking can do to a person.
There is a sadness and depression that goes along with this that are too deep for words. It’s difficult to understand when your own world is just peachy.[/quote]

On facebook? no I’m a little older. Endless taunting? No, because there no such thing. Eventually it all ends. Most people have been taunted the difference is they get through it. I was teased for 2 years, to the point the second year was I fought all the time. 2 years seems like forever to 10 y/o it was up to my parents to show me that it’s not. For this girl nobody taught her how to get through it. Reactions like “oh someone could never understand” just makes it so the next girl will think the proper reaction is suicide. Spare the rod spoil the child. Would you rather witness a hundred 14 y/o girls go through what she did then kill herself or learn from the mistakes of the past?

Why was she still allowed on facebook after being in that situation several times?
What kind of therapy was she receiving?

Sadness and depression, you have to be fuckin kidding me go do some missionary work in 3rd world countries then tell me about how facebook is making you sad and depressed. Or work with a kid whose father’s new wife figured out at 9 y/o that he wasn’t your father, and now he refuses to act like the loving dad he did for 9 years. Then tell me about sadness and depression.
[/quote]

You know, I will never understand the whole “someone, somewhere has it worse than you so you shouldn’t feel sad” line. My wife was recently diagnosed with a highly aggressive form of breast cancer at 33 yrs old - mastectomy, lymph nodes bad ass chemo radiation etc. We have a three year old daughter, a mortgage, money worries and all sorts of goals and dreams that now stand in uncertainty and peril. Are we allowed to feel sad? What about the woman in the bed next to my wife whose cancer has spread to her bones, blood and brain? She’s got it way worse so we should suck it up and be grateful, right? Should it cheer us up that so-and-so’s aunt Mildred had it way worse than my wife and she’s fine? Well, it doesn’t. Our problems are our problems and how they stack up to other people’s problems is irrelevant.

You know what else, this is my biggest problem right now, but it doesn’t “feel” that much worse than whatever my biggest problem was before all this, it’s still MY biggest problem. I’m fortunate to be a happy, adaptable and resilient kind of guy so I’m handling it fairly well. What about the guy who doesn’t handle it like I do. Is he justified in feeling worse than I do while we’re going through the exact same thing? Absolutely he is, because no two people go through the exact same thing because our individual perceptions, temperaments and responses make the experience unique to us. If somebody busted down my door tomorrow as part of some third world type insurrection would that become my biggest problem? Probably. Does that mean my current problems are inconsequential? Nope.

This girl’s whole world was high school, facebook etc. and her biggest problems were to do with those things. To me they might seem kind of trivial, to her they were anything but. Her perceptions made those events very painful for her. They created the maximum amount of pain she was capable of feeling, regardless of the circumstances. It doesn’t matter how anybody else would perceive her circumstances, it’s about how SHE perceived them. This is a basic element of the human experience which so many people seem unable to grasp. Should she have gotten better help/support? Definitely. Does that make this any less sad? Nope.[/quote]

I love the whole, “It’s all perception and all you need to do is change yours and then you’ll see what an asshole you are, and that you should be thankful.”
It clearly comes from those who haven’t suffered all that much in life, 'cause once you do, a whole lot of perceptions change. I personally thought I have, the bullying included, but I had no idea. Then I got it, and got it hard, and no I will not get into it, it’s nobody’s businsess but my own.
Simply meeting the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs by no means, means you got it good. It’s one thing when you fuck yourself up, because you have some semblance of control, but when it’s other’s you have no control.

159

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

Thanks! The old adage is correct, nice guys finish last, BUT I won’t change that. At least not on purpose. I would rather be mocked, criticized and maligned than be a dick. [/quote]

You are missing out.

I do not try to be nice, I try to be civil.

If that gets misinterpreted as weakness however I turn into the incredible alpha schlong.

And I enjoy it.

Very.[/quote]

Sounds like a rather empty, power hungry, insecure, existence to me. I prefer real. I don’t trust people who act like you proclaim you do.
Yeah, maybe you don’t get shit on, but avoiding getting shit on and living a real honest life is not a compromise I am willing to make.

160

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Sorry to hear this IH, and I can relate to some extent.

I know it’s not really adequate compensation, but you know what? People like you and Spock and Pat (and yeah, me, too) are really GOOD people. Cause or effect, I don’t know, but folks who were given a hard time as kids are pretty consistently good, honest, kind, caring people.

The kind of people I like to have as friends, my friend.[/quote]

YA I was thinking about that last night actually! You, IH, and Pat seem like some of the nicest dudes ever. [/quote]

Thanks! The old adage is correct, nice guys finish last, BUT I won’t change that. At least not on purpose. I would rather be mocked, criticized and maligned than be a dick. [/quote]

You are missing out.

I do not try to be nice, I try to be civil.

If that gets misinterpreted as weakness however I turn into the incredible alpha schlong.

And I enjoy it.

Very.[/quote]

Sounds like a rather empty, power hungry, insecure, existence to me. I prefer real. I don’t trust people who act like you proclaim you do.
Yeah, maybe you don’t get shit on, but avoiding getting shit on and living a real honest life is not a compromise I am willing to make.[/quote]

What is this nonsense!?!

You never got shit on by some lame ass assholes who only dared to raise their meek little voices in contempt because people like you let them?

You Sir, are a pacifist, a position that invites and rewards aggression.

Next time, get your dick out, give them a good spanking and they will have a more realistic outlook on their overall importance.

Its a public service, the next ten persons who would have been abused will probably not thank you, but they should.

Jesus could whip up a shitstorm in a heartbeat if he had to, who are you, trying to outchrist Christ?

Righteous anger Sir, its part of your heritage.

Its a religious and civil obligation.

It is also whats for breakfast.