RIP Amanda Todd

Off Topic
101

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
The internet makes it so there’s no relief from bullying.

If you were a victim of bullying back in the “old days”, you’d go home and get a break from the taunting. You could quietly reflect on it without panic, and often come to some conclusions that you could reason with and change your behavior for the next day’s onslaught.

Not today. It’s 24/7.[/quote]

Totally agree. And if the victim gets some sort of respite from the bullies by staying away from social networking sites, it does nothing to stop the bullies from communicating with each other and working each other up for the next school day.

They don’t have to waste valuable bullying time by making up new nicknames and methods of abuse during school hours. That’s all done at home. Thanks, Facebook!

102

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

The strangest looking person becomes a sexy mono with corpse paint and leather…

[/quote]

You bully.
[/quote]

Im a fun bully though.

You cannot deny this.[/quote]

I know :slight_smile:

103

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]super saiyan wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Why would you log into accounts online if you absolutely knew no one would have anything positive to say on the site about you?

Sucks she took the route she did but damn…

Plenty of places where a kid can find acceptance these days 24 7 bullying only exists if you let it.

Turn it off and join a dojo…anything…kick it at a music store…buy an instrument…find people…start a band…

[/quote]

I agree with this. Delete your Facebook account and join a team or club. It’s like a kid who is bullied on his way home from school at a certain spot. What does he do? He takes a different route home.[/quote]

And the bully wins. The bully’s actions are justified because society expects the victim to change, not the bully.

If a convenience store gets robbed, do you tell the owner “that’s what you get for having a convenience store here!” Of course not.

When you say “so delete your facebook account,” you’re asking a person to isolate themselves to a degree that others don’t have to. Since when is this good? Suppose the “teams and clubs” have the same bullies as members? This was the case when I was bullied at a young age. A lot of the bullies were the ‘cool kids’ who were involved in every fucking thing. The only clubs I could join got me more ridiculed. Once you’re at the bottom of the food chain, it’s damn difficult to move up. Changing schools helps some people, but sometimes only temporarily. And that option is not available to everyone.

The solution just isn’t that simple.[/quote]

Yes.

I giggle when a store opens up in a high crime area and the owner is complaining about being robbed 3x a week.

Sometimes I even consider robbing them myself.

[/quote]

well if/when you do… VOIDH

104

:frowning:

As a father this is really hard to watch

105

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

Yeah?

I got held down by my teachers and everyone in my class got a good kick in.

Some got a really gooooood kick in.

Apparently, I was too opinionated and only the teachers actually could hold me down.

Come to think about it, that actually was kind of fucked up.

Anyhow, life sucks, above and beyond and whatnot. [/quote]

Wow.

What were you arguing with your teachers about? The theory of mind?
[/quote]

Na, one was pissed that she could not handle me, then still more pissed because at the tender age of 8 I apparently told the principal that my old teacher could handle me, she cant, so how could I possibly be the problem?

At least that how my mother tells it.

Btw, the principal did agree, but told my mother not to tell me.

The other one was just plain pissed, had probably nothing to do with me.

My old teacher had been great, she taught me to read and write, then she gave me full access to the school library and told me to sit at the back of the class and shut up.

106
107

It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.

108

[quote]FISCHER613 wrote:
A lot of bullying issues can be stopped from having loving insightful-engaged parents who take time with their children and discuss issues with them. So in essence have a built in support center for them from the get-go.

For example: A kid was bullying my daughter (who is 6) on the playground at a park we frequent over summer and I was witness to this as well as the little bully’s parents as well. I went over to her(my daughter) after she was pushed down/aside and slandered while ateempting to go down a slide. I stated very loudly so the parents could hear " Sweetie lets go we don’t need to be nice and try to play with that child who is being mean and bullying you. I hope her parents will recognize what is going on and see that there is a problem with this and her actions."

I then explained to my child that some people are just mean in the world and the best course of action is to just leave and ignore the individual(s). I know as she gets older we will adjust as to how we handle situations like this but this is how I am dealing with these problems as they come up now.
[/quote]
I think this was a great way to handle the issue.

When I was in first grade, my parents moved to a new area and I was that damned new kid. We were two months in to the school year too.

Anyways, Jason peed on me in the bathroom at the urinals. I didn’t know what to do and when the teacher smelled me, I was sent to the principle to call for a change.

Yeah it was hurtful but mostly I wanted to kill Jason I was just scared to get in trouble.

Well that evening dad pulled me aside and after hearing the story said, and I remember, “son, sometimes it is ok to punch somebody.”

I knew he meant in the moment but the next day at recess I found Jason and beat the shit out of him as violently as a 6 year old can.

I got in trouble at school and at home though at home the comment was just more thoroughly explained.

2 positive things happened, however:

  1. I did not become the pee kid and butt of jokes in my new community
  2. Jason never peed on me again.

As an aside, I made lots of new friends and Jason never came around. I became an athlete/popular what have you and Jason wound up an outcast. As bonds were formed at that young age, he obviously wasn’t in my group which stuck together through highschool pretty remarkably.

The take away lesson for me was that it is ok to stand up for yourself. It is a real shame a kid these days would be potentially suspended for punching a kid peeing on him. Current discipline methods encourage bullying.

Giving a broken nose is a hell of a lot better than holding in anger and shooting a movie theater later and, whether people will admit it or not, will garner momentum changing respect in peers under certain circumstances.

109

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
That is very sad.

I remember in high school kids used to pick on me something awful.
Like saying I had a flesh eating disease cause I had pimples or whatever…
But then it got real bad and kids would send me death threats and tell me to kill myself and prank call me like multiple times a day telling me to die or making BJ noises or just random shit like that…

I remember i invited a few girls to my birthday and no one came and one girl call RSVP’ed saying i was fucking stupid for thinking anyone would come to my birthday because everyone hated me.
Oh and one time I got beat up on the smoking hill and everyone stood around cheering and telling them to kick me or whatever. I got up and ran to the bathroom and the principal came in and started hugging me and the vice principal gave me a ride home which was awkward…

So ya then I started home schooling and ya.
I had very good involved parents growing up though, I dunno where everything went so wrong. But that shit does create anxiety disorders and self-esteem issues. For god sakes that happened to me like 8 years ago and I’m still scared of life. Surely things have escalted since I’ve gotten out of high school so I can’t imagine how hard it must be for kids these days.

[/quote]

Spock i am very sorry for what happened to you. To be honest what you experienced is probably worse then what this girl had ever gone through. Very rarely do you see kids getting beat up and not facing consequences. Kids have just become attention seeking softys.

110

[quote]jtownlax wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
That is very sad.

I remember in high school kids used to pick on me something awful.
Like saying I had a flesh eating disease cause I had pimples or whatever…
But then it got real bad and kids would send me death threats and tell me to kill myself and prank call me like multiple times a day telling me to die or making BJ noises or just random shit like that…

I remember i invited a few girls to my birthday and no one came and one girl call RSVP’ed saying i was fucking stupid for thinking anyone would come to my birthday because everyone hated me.
Oh and one time I got beat up on the smoking hill and everyone stood around cheering and telling them to kick me or whatever. I got up and ran to the bathroom and the principal came in and started hugging me and the vice principal gave me a ride home which was awkward…

So ya then I started home schooling and ya.
I had very good involved parents growing up though, I dunno where everything went so wrong. But that shit does create anxiety disorders and self-esteem issues. For god sakes that happened to me like 8 years ago and I’m still scared of life. Surely things have escalted since I’ve gotten out of high school so I can’t imagine how hard it must be for kids these days.

[/quote]

Spock i am very sorry for what happened to you. To be honest what you experienced is probably worse then what this girl had ever gone through. Very rarely do you see kids getting beat up and not facing consequences. Kids have just become attention seeking softys.
[/quote]
Yeah, Spock, though you may have been an outcast, the yelling during a fight was most likely just bloodlust, fwiw.

Had you been doing the kicking, I would bet the kids would’ve been egging you on too. They just wanted to see some violence.

Lord of the Flies. Probably not personal in that scenario.

111

[quote]sufiandy wrote:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2012/10/15/bc-amanda-todd-tormentor-anonymous.html[/quote]

112

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
That is very sad.

I remember in high school kids used to pick on me something awful.
Like saying I had a flesh eating disease cause I had pimples or whatever…
But then it got real bad and kids would send me death threats and tell me to kill myself and prank call me like multiple times a day telling me to die or making BJ noises or just random shit like that…

I remember i invited a few girls to my birthday and no one came and one girl call RSVP’ed saying i was fucking stupid for thinking anyone would come to my birthday because everyone hated me.
Oh and one time I got beat up on the smoking hill and everyone stood around cheering and telling them to kick me or whatever. I got up and ran to the bathroom and the principal came in and started hugging me and the vice principal gave me a ride home which was awkward…

So ya then I started home schooling and ya.
I had very good involved parents growing up though, I dunno where everything went so wrong. But that shit does create anxiety disorders and self-esteem issues. For god sakes that happened to me like 8 years ago and I’m still scared of life. Surely things have escalted since I’ve gotten out of high school so I can’t imagine how hard it must be for kids these days.

[/quote]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I was a small kids growing up and I got it pretty bad too. I am not really willing to detail because I really don’t want to relive it all, but it was awful and it made me feel awful and I wanted to die so many times I stopped counting.
Yeah, you bounce back from it, but the scars are always there, they never go away. The victims have to deal with it for the rest of their lives.
I just remember being terrified to go to school because it was going to be another day of hell and it lasted years. That tends to leave a mark.

That’s why I support the death penalty for bullies. They have no idea, nor do they care about what they are doing to another human being for a few ill gotten laughs. So fuck’em. Thay can all die and rot in hell. I mean that in the most loving way possible.

113

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out…

114

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
In the end, I got expelled ‘cos I broke one the cunts’ arm after she tried to stab me.
[/quote]

Fuck yes.

Also, can’t believe what I just read about Spock :frowning:

115

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?

116

A lot of behaviour that would be criminal amongst adults seems to get put off under the umbrella of “bullying” when it happens on the school yard.

At one point I wanted to get a video made up where a professional but nerdy looking guy (suit, tie, briefcase, glasses etc.) is walking down the street and he gets accosted by a bunch of big dudes who push him around, knock him down, empty his briefcase and steal his lunch and maybe his shoes in a stereotypical school yard bullying exchange. That would be robbery/assault, not “boys will be boys” finger shake/stern talking too.

Similarly, if an adult male took nude pictures/video of an adult female and then threatened to distribute them to her family/coworkers if she didn’t perform further sexual favours for him I don’t think many people would put it off as “yea, guys can be dicks, what are you gonna do?”

I think the term “bullying” itself lessens the perceived severity of these actions.

117

I wasn’t bullied to the degree that some of today’s kids tragically are, but being a small frail kid did earn me my fair share of teasing.

In the 9th grade I was really small (80 lbs) and wimpy. I started lifting weights and it started to show. But every friggin day in gym class, one particular dude taunted me. Sam Fields was his name, and he had a certain James Dean look and attitude, and seemed older than his years. Whenever he saw me in the halls he called me “cupcake” in a derisive tone. He was relentless.

Whenever I tried to achieve something (rope climb, gymnastics, etc) he was there calling me cupcake the whole time. This went on all damn school year. I was really timid and tried to avoid him, yet was too scared to tell the gym teacher or anyone else. I’d go home really upset, but held it in and kept eating and lifting every day. I’d show him! Fuck you Sam Fields!

At the end of the year after I added 20 lbs of muscle, he approached me on the last day of school. I got all flustered and tensed up for the insults, then he says, “I called you cupcake because I saw that you were lifting. I wanted you to take it out on the weights, and it looks like it worked.”

118

[quote]jtownlax wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
That is very sad.

I remember in high school kids used to pick on me something awful.
Like saying I had a flesh eating disease cause I had pimples or whatever…
But then it got real bad and kids would send me death threats and tell me to kill myself and prank call me like multiple times a day telling me to die or making BJ noises or just random shit like that…

I remember i invited a few girls to my birthday and no one came and one girl call RSVP’ed saying i was fucking stupid for thinking anyone would come to my birthday because everyone hated me.
Oh and one time I got beat up on the smoking hill and everyone stood around cheering and telling them to kick me or whatever. I got up and ran to the bathroom and the principal came in and started hugging me and the vice principal gave me a ride home which was awkward…

So ya then I started home schooling and ya.
I had very good involved parents growing up though, I dunno where everything went so wrong. But that shit does create anxiety disorders and self-esteem issues. For god sakes that happened to me like 8 years ago and I’m still scared of life. Surely things have escalted since I’ve gotten out of high school so I can’t imagine how hard it must be for kids these days.

[/quote]

Spock i am very sorry for what happened to you. To be honest what you experienced is probably worse then what this girl had ever gone through. Very rarely do you see kids getting beat up and not facing consequences. Kids have just become attention seeking softys.
[/quote]

This is interesting. In one breath you imply that ms. Todd was just some whiny, attention seeking brat who needed to grow up and deal with what 500 million kids put up with every day.

Then, here you go on to show compassion to Spock for having survived very similar experiences.
I believe this is because Spock is “someone” to you i.e. someone who is liked and respected in this online community as opposed to some random girl on youtube. I’m not meaning to pick on you specifically, you just provide such a great example of people’s attitudes toward the victims of crime when they know relative to when they don’t.

I can’t see any reasonable person here, if a girl in their lives approached them directly with similar problems, being like “pfft, harden the f up chick. Stuff happens. Get over it.” Yet, for some, this is acceptable/appropriate for some faceless person who none of us know and/or care about on a personal level.

119

[quote]on edge wrote:

Spock, I’m so sorry to hear these things happened to you. You clearly have a heart of gold and not a mean bone in your body.
[/quote]

Awe, thanks. I don’t know if that’s REALLY true, but now I want to strive to be the person that T-Nation thinks I am.

[quote]Chushin wrote:
So, having worked as a counselor, I have to ask: Have you tried counseling to deal with some of this stuff?

[/quote]

I did see a shrink for a while, but she was very expensive and I thought she was a little bit loonie to be honest. Another lady put me on paxil and my GP keep upping my dose sicne it wasn’t doing anything and I ended up taking more than an adult was supposed to so it only really made matters worse. :S
I did talk to one school counseller in grade 9 and he was very kind, but I left that school quickly so it didn’t go very far.

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
As far as I’m concerned, bullies need to be tortured to death for the shit they put vulnerable people through.
[/quote]

I know I’ve said this before but, you’re my hero… Sigh.

[quote]jtownlax wrote:

Spock i am very sorry for what happened to you.
[/quote]

Thanks pal.

[quote]pat wrote:

I am so sorry this happened to you. I was a small kids growing up and I got it pretty bad too. I am not really willing to detail because I really don’t want to relive it all, but it was awful and it made me feel awful and I wanted to die so many times I stopped counting.
Yeah, you bounce back from it, but the scars are always there, they never go away. The victims have to deal with it for the rest of their lives.
I just remember being terrified to go to school because it was going to be another day of hell and it lasted years. That tends to leave a mark.

That’s why I support the death penalty for bullies. They have no idea, nor do they care about what they are doing to another human being for a few ill gotten laughs. So fuck’em. Thay can all die and rot in hell. I mean that in the most loving way possible.[/quote]

I really like this post, sums up a lot about how I feel/felt. I had so many sick days from school cause I was just too scared to go.
I kinda wish it had made my skin a bit thicker in the end, but it doesn’t seem to have worked that way.

[quote]batman730 wrote:
someone who is liked and respected in this online community as opposed to some random girl on youtube.[/quote]

I know this is a little bit silly, but this comment seriously made my day, ha-ha. I remember being a lurker for so many years dreaming of the day when t-naion liked me :S.

Ya’ll people are so darn nice to me I could just give you a big ol’ smushy cyber hug.

120

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]jtownlax wrote:
It is really tough to understand how high school works these days. Pretty much everyone gets “bullied” about something if it not the cool or excepted way to do it. I’ve seen people get bullied for having red hair or trying too hard in class

Basically its all bullshit. This girl obviously was not a nerd or an outcast if she was sleeping with people or flashing her tits. She was a girl with friends who made some bad decisions. People gave her shit. THis girl could have been like the other 500 million kids who have been mad fun of and just ignored it but she decided to make a huge deal of it for. Not trying to be that guy but i think it was because she wanted kids to feel sorry for her. I also believed she committed suicide just so people would feel sorry for her. You can not believe the things people will do for attention in high school

Yes, what i am saying is harsh but seriously grow up. Are you going to let a couple kids ruin your life. Kids are soft now a days. She could have shut her computer and ended it right there.

Disclaimer- I have not watched any of the video so maybe i sound like a jackass but i am in fact a sophomore in high school ATM.[/quote]

Yeah, you kinda sound like a jackass. Perhaps not shutting her computer down was her only defense. It’s her only way of knowing what’s being said and what she’s facing.

She made some stupid mistakes, but everybody does and she didn’t deserve to be driven to suicide to end it. I get it. It seems like the only out… [/quote]

This repeated coddling and avoiding issues is why she committed suicide not bullying. She obviously had issues that led her to make stupid mistakes, and not being able to handle common things such as cheating boyfriends.

How about putting the onus on the person, the kid, and the parents instead of trying to blame the whole world for her problems?
[/quote]

Clearly you’ve never experienced anything like that. Good for you, but it definitely prevents you from truly understanding what went wrong with her and the damage endless taunting and mocking can do to a person.
There is a sadness and depression that goes along with this that are too deep for words. It’s difficult to understand when your own world is just peachy.