I will start out by outlining a little about my workout history, supplements, anabolics.
I am 39 years old, for most of my life I was slim until about 30 years old, packed on a few pounds but always fluctuating between 150-190lbs. I’m 5foot11. Started working out about a year and a half ago because of severe weight gain after a bad sports injury. Worked out doing the usual rookie stuff, an hour on the treadmill, light weights and way to much time in the gym. After about 6 months I wasn’t seeing much if any results. My weight may have dropped about 5lbs in that 6 months. Something wasn’t working. I had a co-worker suggest trying some “stuff”, I tried some orals like Winstrol, Dbol, clenbutural with very little success. After the first year I was so unhappy with my results that I decided to really do some research, change up my routine and look into doing a real cycle. I got rid of the cardio and started focusing on lifting heavier, and started taking some testocyp. I started with 250mcg every 3 days for about 12-16 weeks, I started to see some real progress. I then decided to ramp it up a bit and try using test with Deca as I had previously heard some good things about it. 200Deca/250test injected every 3 days. The first 5-6 weeks were unremarkable but now that I am into about week 8 of this cycle, I have started to have some unhealthy mental issues.
I am a happily married father of 3 beautiful children and have a very devoted wife of 14 years. We’ve been together for close to 17 years now. I started having jealous thoughts of her being unfaithful but more than just that I started having visions of her actually being unfaithful, like a movie playing out in my head. It felt so real that I started having major anxiety, self doubt, and It made me sick to my stomach. I have no doubt that she is 100% faithful, no doubt at all but I can’t get the thought of her having sex whether it be with a past lover or some dickhead who happens to look her way while she’s walking the dog. The thoughts just came out of the blue like a light switch.
I have been under a lot of stress lately with being out of work, attending a training program in school, we are moving in a month, just a lot to think about. Sometimes the thoughts are all consuming. I hear a song on the radio that came out before we were married and it takes me right back to those crazy thoughts. I know they are irrational thoughts but I just can’t shake them because my mind makes them so real.
I need some help, is this caused by the stress? the Test/Deca? Something more sinister? I love my wife and she doesn’t deserve this. I have spoken to her about it so am not hiding this but it’s unfair to her. Should I drop the Deca as I didn’t have an issue until I added it.
Most people here will tell you its all in your head and that you’re overreacting etc.
Most people dont know shit. Steroids do fuck with your head. Especially 19-nor’s. I’ve experienced the exact same while I was on Tren, even on test when oestrogen is out of whack.
Im not sure if you are taking anything for prolactin but that could be it, also dont know if you’re taking an AI either so your oestrogen could also be too high (which is known to cause negative and depressive thoughts).
You need to take comfort in the fact that its just the drugs causing this, get some bloods for oestrogen and prolactin and also think about coming off.
Thanks for the reply SinghBuilder, as quickly as it came on and as severe as it was, it has become manageable now. The thoughts still pop in my head once in a while but the visions have subsided, so much that I can’t even force a thought like it. It’s such a relief as it was so severe, I felt like I was having a mental breakdown. I’m glad I could speak with my wife about it openly. I did some reading on how to resolve it in a healthy way and what to avoid and it seems to have worked. I will never use Deca again as it seems to be the only variable that has changed and seems to be the trigger. I’m glad that I could make the second poster “LOL” but until you have experienced this yourself, you won’t know what this feels like so keep laughing. Stress seems to also be a factor as I have managed to reduce my stress and it has helped alot. Keeping a busy productive mind has helped as well. It was pretty debilitating at first but now it’s merely a nuisance that is almost gone. Thank goodness.
People have no conception of how these drugs interact with neurotransmitters. They only think about hormone levels etc. neurotransmitter effects can be downright devastating
I ended up dropping the deca from my cycle and it did help to eliminate the anxiety and jealousy. It was a very strange side effect that I hope to never have again. My marriage is very strong but I can imagine how this stuff would have ruined a less secure relationship. I’ve heard the same stories about tren. The one thing I miss about deca was the strength gains it gave me. I’m also struggling with some joint pain that the deca helped me with. Looking for another option for that but will never go back to deca.
Holy shit.
Exactly the same thing happened to me. Have 4 kids, beautiful wife, wholly committed.
It was March 16 2014, came on like a light switch. Was watching a short porn and there was a huge cumshot. I thought, I bet my wife loved big cumshots from other guys. Weird thought cause I married a virgin, she basically hates cum, but did hook up with one guy before we married 14 years prior. No sex just a little oral and she said she only did it cause she was dating a guy and didn’t want to have sex with him.
It was out of the blue and I became completely absorbed with this, almost thinking of doing oral with another guy 24/7, to the point I couldn’t sleep or even function. I got weak in the knees all day and nauseated thinking about it. Most depressed I ever got and never had a history of depression.
I was in test and deca at the time. I started to see hair thinning so I dropped the test and was on 400 deca. Really messed me up!
I read so much stuff on blogs to help but nothing did. I stopped everting and went on pct and was off everything for months after pct.
the only thing I read was a psychiatrist who responded to someone with same issue and said it was essentially a disruption of serotonin in my brain.
I got labs done and my TT was 140 so I hopped on test and about a few months later I was much better. Took about 2 years to fully recover and I’ve been excellent for past year an a half.
Not sure what exactly happened, it was 9 months after having twins but I never want to revisit that phase ever again!
Crazy you posted that, it was so scary. I remember one night crying in bed praying for God to fix me.
I must say, one good thing came of it, it really brought me closer to my wife and love her 2000x more after that incident.
I was taking 250mcg test cyp and 300mcg deca every 3 days. Like I mentioned before I loved the strength gains but the odd thing is that it really didn’t do much for my muscle mass. I’ve gained more on test alone. I’ve thought about trying a small dose to help with my joint pain but how much is enough to help but not enough to make me crazy again.
I know this is an old post but I recently got to week 8 of test 300 and deca 200 cycle 1ml a week and I’ve had the same mental side effects. Keep getting jealous about my partners past and questioning her and getting angry about it. Not violent towards her in anyway but I keep having vivid images of her with these guys. I’ve dropped the deca and hoping the thoughts go away.
It eventually goes away but the fear of this coming back has kept me from trying it again. I’ve also decided to steer clear of Tren as the dude can be even worse than deca. I have since cut back on my doses of test as well and the sides have all but disappeared.
This is very interesting. I experienced similar thoughts shortly after starting PCT after a 12 week Test only cycle. It wasn’t as severe as some of the descriptions here, but it was the same kind of thing. Almost 30 years of being married and never any concern about infidelity I started having very vivid thoughts about her cheating. It was emotionally painful, but only lasted about a week. I also knew enough to chalk it up to something hormonal since I had just started PCT. I had to regularly tell myself it was all in my head. Glad all is back to normal now.
I had a very similar thing happen to me toward the end of last summer. I was on a TRT dose of Cyp, 200mg/week, which I’ve been on about 2 years. I picked up some of the prohormone DMZ because I used it in the past and had very good results with it so I figured, why not. I didnt have nearly the results as the past and out of the blue I became insanely jealous. Case in point…my wife went out with friends one day. I was invited but decided not to go. Well she didnt come home for a while (I knew she was at our pool club) but I snapped out when she got home. I knew my reaction was way over the top and out of character for me but I couldn’t stop it. Then shortly thereafter she started her Master’s program in school. I couldn’t help thinking about what she was doing and with who…nonstop, like you mentioned, almost all consuming. If I didnt get a text immediately from her in the morning I’d think she was involved with someone from her class and texting them. I had the same visions of her sleeping with other people. We have been together for 20 years and we’ve always had a great marriage. This jealousy and anxiety eventually led to depression like symptoms. I had several doctor’s visits and had my bloodwork done as I thought I had lyme disease. Bloods were completely normal. I eventually came off my TRT dose all together and I think that my neurotransmitters normalized. My depression and anxiety dissipated significantly. I waited several months and eventually started my TRT again and havent had any of those issues. I still get some lingering anxiety (which I never had). This is nothing like I had experienced last summer but I take Bergamot and it seems to help out. It was a scary several months. Though I’m not happy you guys experienced this, it’s nice to hear that I wasnt alone in having these wild thoughts.
You know what sounds like a good idea to me… If anyone is getting paranoid, extremely anxious or depressed from a substance… Stop taking it
It’s like the specific subset of people who freak out when they consume cannabis… They should probably stay away from cannabis, if you’re becoming paranoid from X,Y or Z, don’t take it.
It’s like the dude who goes to the doctor and says “doc, it hurts when I do this” and the doctors says “well then don’t do that”
Steroids are great, but they aren’t worth ruining a marriage/long term relationship over, unless said person can’t handle my juice, then FUCK THEM, up the dose (just kidding)
It never really went away 100% but the visual flashes are down to like once every 9 months and last only a second or two. There are so many contributing factors that I think the deca was merely an applifying agent.
Lol on 600 Tesp and 450 NPP and my thoughts are wondering. I also get super horny for all the latinas in my gym.
First off it’s kind of a gay trait to get super jealous over shit you can’t change. I get it no one like the fact that other guys were up in there woman’s guts, but chances are unless you married your high school sweetheart it’s just going to be a reality. What I do is take 90mg of viagra and just go to pound town on her, this way she knows who the best is lol.
As for the latinas at my gym, restraint is a motherfucker.
I’ve also heard if someone has these reactions on nandrolone that they may respond better to tren. Any truth behind this?
Steroids fuck with your head in good way or bad and the only way to find out is try it. There is usually not much you can do. Some people on tren beat their wife and go for gay sex or trannies, lol. Idk what to say - steroids have side effects…try, and if you cant handle em you can join the “200mgs of test” club and end this journey.