[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
I think there is a common thread here that all of seem to have gone through:
1 - Get really into lifting
2 - Try and share this with other people
3 - Realize other people are mostly negative about it
4 - Stick mainly to yourself about it(going so far as to cover up and make sure you dont draw attention) except for a few people who are cool about it.
[/quote]
Right now I’m in between #2 and #3. It is kind of sad for me to find out how true #3 really is.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
SSC wrote:
I think the issue also alludes to the lack of effort and work integrity in our society today. “Where you’re at right now is fine” implies that you’ve already worked hard enough for what you have, and that now you should just relax. These are the people that will never understand what personal betterment really is - The same ones who rely on New Year’s Resolutions to do the work for them.
I get this a lot. “Relax, you look great!” When my food choices are an issue, it’s “You can afford to eat it! I’m the one who shouldn’t be!”
Maybe I’m naive, but I think people are generally just trying to be kind. I usually answer any kind of workout or body remark with some variation of that I love doing it or that it relaxes me, both of which are true. People always respond well. But of course, I don’t have to worry about extreme muscularity.
Something I’ve noticed, though, is that I get similar remarks in other contexts. The “slow down, you’re fine, relax, it can wait” stuff. I seem to have a lot of energy. I need to use it, I would go crazy if I didn’t. It’s hard to imagine living otherwise than I do. I know that when I miss more than a couple of workouts I feel physically and mentally off. I often wonder how people who don’t stay in shape manage. But then, I wonder what people who don’t read think about, and I wonder how self-centered people stand the shallowness of their relationships. I don’t understand a life that’s made up of television shows and boredom and foolish and ineffectual stabs at dieting as a surrogate for good health.
But happily, I don’t have to. I get to live the way I want. I agree with the people who’ve said having a mate who understands is good. I love that about my husband. He gets it. [/quote]
I second everything said here 100%, except for that people are “just trying to be kind.” Most of the negative reactions I get I know are from people who have no idea how to relate to my lifestyle, and my gut response to their words/body language/overall attitude really indicates defensiveness, occasionally bordering on an attack on my way of thinking. This is mainly from women, though. Usually non-training men are supportive and often curious. If they express a lack of understanding, it is almost never negative.
My gal doesn’t really get it, but it’s growing on her. She loves my passion, and this is something I’m passionate about, so she enjoys seeing me dedicate myself.
I have a few friends that don’t get me wanting to get 20" arms and stuff, but they all get me wanting to work out. They don’t get it when I come over with a cooler strapped to my shoulder, a jug of water, and my supplements all in hand everywhere I go, though. I can understand that.
I get told I’m big enough all the time, but I haven’t really gotten big enough for people to look at me funny. I get in real big fights with my father about how much protein I eat though, and I hate that.
[quote]josh86 wrote:
Styfus wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I would think the person judging others like that would be the insecure one.
I believe I said that in my original comment.
You also said that you must be insecure to build impressive amounts of muscle mass. WTF are you doing on a bodybuilding site? Seriously…
Every time I see retarded shit like this I always wonder why the fuck these people are on this forum…it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Like I couldn’t give a shit about learning how to be the best MMA fighter on the planet but I wouldn’t join a MMA forum and then talk about how they must all be sooo insecure to need to learn how to fight MMA so well.[/quote]
So close, you almost had it there… I’ll break it down:
The assertion I made was:
“If you weren’t insecure about whatever, you wouldn’t build an extreme amount of muscle and then get bent out of shape when some dipshit made negative comments about it.”
As you pointed out yourself, within that statement was embedded the negative comment (paraphrased as), “you must be insecure to build impressive amounts of muscle mass” about which I say, “If you weren’t insecure…you wouldn’t…get bent out of shape…”.
So basically I’m the “some dipshit” making a negative comment, you then proceeded to get bent out of shape over it and tell me off, thus satisfying the conditions set forth for you to be considered insecure. See how that works?
You also didn’t pick up on the fact that in the full text of my original comment I basically called people who make snide comments about muscular people insecure, retarded dipshits, and then proceeded to do just that myself. Which means that my post was (apparantly not so) obviously tongue in cheek, and obviously I had too much free time on my hands today.
And since you asked, ironically, I am on this site to increase strength and endurance for MMA purposes.
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
yet, another reason I’m glad I work in a gym. People expect you to eat well and be big.
Though it’s funny I wait for comments from gym members when I’m walking by them carrying a burger :D[/quote]
Yeah I find the same thing. People expect me to be big and eat well.
I also find it funny when people give me shit when I’m eating out. There is a diner that I go to for lunch/breakfast when I work the open shift at the gym.
I always see someone there when I am eating my bacon and eggs and sausages that makes some stupid comment about it being bad for me.
Not to mention that they are eating a massive piece of cheese cake and drinking a softdrink, and won’t be doing any decent amount of exercise.
[quote]josh86 wrote:
B rocK wrote:
One major component to keeping me on point is my girlfriend whom I live with. She is 100% supportive with my training and eating habits. Not once has she rolled her eyes, asked questions or been annoyed when I get up at 2am to eat, get home late from the gym, pause the movie to pee or make another meal. It’s great to have someone with you at all times who is on your side.
Gotta love having the right girl man! My gf is the same, she never tells me anything negative about my goals or what I do on a daily basis to achieve them. She tells me all the time that I’m her “Big, sexy, muscle man” - I think she does that one mostly just because she knows I love it lol.
If I get stuck working through my lunch at work she will bring me a 4x4 from in n out so I can run downstairs and eat it b4 the boss even notices I got up from my desk.
However, as great and supportive as she is - I would be doing this with or without her. I love her comments and support that she gives me, but at the same time I do this for me and no one else and she knows that.[/quote]
Awesome man. Same goes for me, I was into powerlifting before I met her…so I’m always going to be driven.
She first saw me at the gym; I must have been making a lot of noise. Although I didn’t see her, I must have been focused or something haha…weird.
[quote]sluicy wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
SSC wrote:
I think the issue also alludes to the lack of effort and work integrity in our society today. “Where you’re at right now is fine” implies that you’ve already worked hard enough for what you have, and that now you should just relax. These are the people that will never understand what personal betterment really is - The same ones who rely on New Year’s Resolutions to do the work for them.
I get this a lot. “Relax, you look great!” When my food choices are an issue, it’s “You can afford to eat it! I’m the one who shouldn’t be!”
Maybe I’m naive, but I think people are generally just trying to be kind. I usually answer any kind of workout or body remark with some variation of that I love doing it or that it relaxes me, both of which are true. People always respond well. But of course, I don’t have to worry about extreme muscularity.
Something I’ve noticed, though, is that I get similar remarks in other contexts. The “slow down, you’re fine, relax, it can wait” stuff. I seem to have a lot of energy. I need to use it, I would go crazy if I didn’t. It’s hard to imagine living otherwise than I do. I know that when I miss more than a couple of workouts I feel physically and mentally off. I often wonder how people who don’t stay in shape manage. But then, I wonder what people who don’t read think about, and I wonder how self-centered people stand the shallowness of their relationships. I don’t understand a life that’s made up of television shows and boredom and foolish and ineffectual stabs at dieting as a surrogate for good health.
But happily, I don’t have to. I get to live the way I want. I agree with the people who’ve said having a mate who understands is good. I love that about my husband. He gets it.
I second everything said here 100%, except for that people are “just trying to be kind.” Most of the negative reactions I get I know are from people who have no idea how to relate to my lifestyle, and my gut response to their words/body language/overall attitude really indicates defensiveness, occasionally bordering on an attack on my way of thinking. This is mainly from women, though. Usually non-training men are supportive and often curious. If they express a lack of understanding, it is almost never negative.[/quote]
Thinking about it, “kind” was probably not the right word. It’s closer to what you said, inability to relate and yes, some defensiveness. I think I said kind because I don’t sense malice very often. It’s like they don’t get the cause-effect thing.
I know I’ve posted this before, but my feeling is that they don’t understand why I would pass up a donut when “I can afford it” because they’re programmed to view the world through a fad diet lense. They don’t see the contradiction in “if I looked like you I’d eat whatever I want!”
The defensiveness…most of the work I’ve done has involved defensive people, so I’m probably desensitized to it. I know that not becoming defensive in return greatly reduces it. If people want to look at what I do, I’m fine with that. If they want to talk about potential damage to my knees because I run or whether lifting will make me too muscular, no problem.
I’m happy to babble about it. The eating…I love that best of all. People make a grave mistake when they get me started on that topic. I’m fascinated by people’s eating habits, and by the conflict between what they say they want and what they actually do.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I know I’ve posted this before, but my feeling is that they don’t understand why I would pass up a donut when “I can afford it” because they’re programmed to view the world through a fad diet lens. They don’t see the contradiction in “if I looked like you I’d eat whatever I want!”
[/quote]
Totally, while they ARE eating whatever they want, and they don’t look like they want. Hello, disconnect!
[quote]Styfus wrote:
As you pointed out yourself, within that statement was embedded the negative comment (paraphrased as), “you must be insecure to build impressive amounts of muscle mass” about which I say, “If you weren’t insecure…you wouldn’t…get bent out of shape…”.
So basically I’m the “some dipshit” making a negative comment, you then proceeded to get bent out of shape over it and tell me off, thus satisfying the conditions set forth for you to be considered insecure. See how that works?
[/quote]
Actually, the above statement is a logical fallacy. It only holds true if we accept as a postulate, a given that getting bent out of shape over negative comments = insecurity. You didn’t prove that in the example or demonstrate any logical connection between the two. All you did was prove that IF a negative comment is made THEN people will get bent out of shape over it. Any conclusions you draw from that are your own interpretations and conjectures, not a logical proof.
[quote]KBCThird wrote:
Styfus wrote:
As you pointed out yourself, within that statement was embedded the negative comment (paraphrased as), “you must be insecure to build impressive amounts of muscle mass” about which I say, “If you weren’t insecure…you wouldn’t…get bent out of shape…”.
So basically I’m the “some dipshit” making a negative comment, you then proceeded to get bent out of shape over it and tell me off, thus satisfying the conditions set forth for you to be considered insecure. See how that works?
Actually, the above statement is a logical fallacy. It only holds true if we accept as a postulate, a given that getting bent out of shape over negative comments = insecurity. You didn’t prove that in the example or demonstrate any logical connection between the two. All you did was prove that IF a negative comment is made THEN people will get bent out of shape over it. Any conclusions you draw from that are your own interpretations and conjectures, not a logical proof.[/quote]
Just tell him “shut up midget”. It’s much more concise.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
The defensiveness…most of the work I’ve done has involved defensive people, so I’m probably desensitized to it. I know that not becoming defensive in return greatly reduces it. If people want to look at what I do, I’m fine with that. If they want to talk about potential damage to my knees because I run or whether lifting will make me too muscular, no problem.
I’m happy to babble about it. The eating…I love that best of all. People make a grave mistake when they get me started on that topic. I’m fascinated by people’s eating habits, and by the conflict between what they say they want and what they actually do. [/quote]
Great and disarming technique, EmilyQ! If I ever get to the point where I get these sorts of comments from anyone other than my wife, I’ll try to take that approach. “Boy, you really think so, I sure hope not, that would suck, thanks for the warning”, said with straight face and a worried look, and then talk their heads off about the subject. Either they’ll avoid making that mistake again, or they’ll get interested, or I’ll learn something.
My wife has said I will need knee replacement surgery if I continue running (it’s silly, I don’t run much, I just say better than coronary artery replacement surgery). She is also not too keen on my increasing strength, but has adapted to the extent of asking me to lift things for her “since you’re all muscle-y now” (reality - not obvious I lift unless my shirt is off).
[quote]randman wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
Styfus wrote:
As you pointed out yourself, within that statement was embedded the negative comment (paraphrased as), “you must be insecure to build impressive amounts of muscle mass” about which I say, “If you weren’t insecure…you wouldn’t…get bent out of shape…”.
So basically I’m the “some dipshit” making a negative comment, you then proceeded to get bent out of shape over it and tell me off, thus satisfying the conditions set forth for you to be considered insecure. See how that works?
Actually, the above statement is a logical fallacy. It only holds true if we accept as a postulate, a given that getting bent out of shape over negative comments = insecurity. You didn’t prove that in the example or demonstrate any logical connection between the two. All you did was prove that IF a negative comment is made THEN people will get bent out of shape over it. Any conclusions you draw from that are your own interpretations and conjectures, not a logical proof.
Just tell him “shut up midget”. It’s much more concise.[/quote]
Hahaha, this time you made me lol!
[quote]sluicy wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
I know I’ve posted this before, but my feeling is that they don’t understand why I would pass up a donut when “I can afford it” because they’re programmed to view the world through a fad diet lens. They don’t see the contradiction in “if I looked like you I’d eat whatever I want!”
Totally, while they ARE eating whatever they want, and they don’t look like they want. Hello, disconnect![/quote]
They’re a walking contradiction! I find that most people I come across just don’t get it. They tell me that they’ve been watching what they’re eating and just can’t seem to lose any weight at all… meanwhile they’re drinking a soda while talking to me. I’m like “Yeaaaahhhh, I don’t get it either.”
I tell them about myself eating tuna and oatmeal and protein shakes every day.
“Ohhhh that’s gross! You like that stuff???”
“No, I don’t.”
(The look on their faces after my short answer… it takes everything I have to not let out a huge laugh!!!)
Here’s a basic life lesson (not just for bodybuilding purposes):
*** If you want something that you’ve never had, you’re going to have to do something that you’ve never done. ***
People are always going to criticize those that stand out. It just seems to be a simple, but sad, human fact. I’m sure that most of us our guilty from time to time, as well. I know I am. It is true though, that us “weightlifters” (as they call us) always carry around our passion with us. Our personal suit of armor that we wear proudly.
BUT …DAMMIT… if I get one more “most muscular pose” or “wide lat syndrome walk” at work… I’m gonna have a pretend roid rage… LOL (just kidding) I actually have a great sense of humor about all this, but I have heard soooooo many dumb commments over the years. You just have to learn to laugh… especially at ourselves!
WE did in fact, pick this “hobby” ourselves, knowing that we wanted to look different. We get what we deserve… hehehe