Paternity Testing

Off Topic
201

[quote]imhungry wrote:

Damn good post, Beans.

I’d concur with the reasons you got married, also.

Falling in love, marrying and genuinely giving yourself to that person takes a LOT of courage… Some people find the risks greater than the reward and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I was on the fence about getting married…then I met Greeny. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

…except maybe that giant dinosaur set when I was 8. It was THAT cool.

Looks on EBay for dinosaur set[/quote]

Just a question though…those guys who get divorced…do you think they consider the decision to marry a “courageous” one?

202

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

Damn good post, Beans.

I’d concur with the reasons you got married, also.

Falling in love, marrying and genuinely giving yourself to that person takes a LOT of courage… Some people find the risks greater than the reward and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I was on the fence about getting married…then I met Greeny. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

…except maybe that giant dinosaur set when I was 8. It was THAT cool.

Looks on EBay for dinosaur set[/quote]

Just a question though…those guys who get divorced…do you think they consider the decision to marry a “courageous” one?[/quote]

Do you think those divorced men all think the same way?

203

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I do tire of the “you can’t speak on the subject of kids at all until you have kids” mentality that pops up so often. No, I don’t have kids. That doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t work.[/quote]

Your brain certainly works, it just works differently.

It pay piss you off, but like I said, it is like someone that has never lifted a barbell in their life, talking about how a 5 plate pull feels.

He can think about how he’ll feel when he pulls it all he wants, but he won’t know until he pulls it.

It is sort of like your view of marriage. You’re view is skewed from others by not only your income/career success but by your age. A 24 year old 2 months on a 48k a year job won’t truly “get” how much more you have to lose than him in a divorce. He can think he gets it, but I would venture to guess your 401(k) statement trumps at least his first full year’s salary.

I make a good living protecting high earners from not only paying more tax than they should, but some of them, from themselves. My advice to you, would be not to marry without the proper documentation. I would also advise you not to have kids outside of that type of wedlock. (I’m not abreast of any “pre-nup” type deals for unwed couples.)

You get all this already tho…

204

Beans, before you write off men’s rights just try to remember that some day our sons will be men. My wish for my children to have a better life than me extends beyond infanthood, childhood, and adolesence, as I’m sure your’s does aswell. Feminists tell girls “You don’t need a man to have a family”, and the legal system has made it the truth. What do we tell our sons? You might think that mindless self sacrifice will make you proud of your son if he’s ever on the wrong side of these laws, but I assure you that it will not make him happy. Making more men the “winners” only exposes our daughters to the wrong end of it, and I don’t want that for my girl either. Our generation owes it to these boys to see that they don’t needlessly inherit an outdated system of legally obligated chivalry.

You speak of comming home to your son. There is nothing you will mourn more than when that is lost. And when he’s excited to see you? There is nothing that HE will mourn more. There are too many sons and daughters and fathers and mothers needlessly seperated by a system that emphasizes the money, and brings out the absolute worst in people. The system isn’t imperfect. It’s wholly and unquetionably wrong.

205

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Beans, before you write off men’s rights just try to remember that some day our sons will be men. My wish for my children to have a better life than me extends beyond infanthood, childhood, and adolesence, as I’m sure your’s does aswell. Feminists tell girls “You don’t need a man to have a family”, and the legal system has made it the truth.[/quote]

Pegging all woman in one group because of the action of a few, is not going to help your child, and you know this.

Painting some horrid picture of marriage and a traditional family because of some fear born out of insecurity, the same insecurity that probably ruined the marriage that shouldn’t have happened in the first place, isn’t helping him either.

I don’t want my son to have any preconceived notions about women. I want him to evaluate each individual as just that. I want him to make choices that make him happy and lead a life that he wants to live. I want him to understand he doesn’t have to be another statistic, and he won’t, without reason, get assfucked by any and every woman alive.

Not all woman are bad, a couple of fucking retards won’t ruin his view of whole group.

You falsely assume because I don’t rally behind you or UG that would be my course of action or intent.

Sorry, I don’t expect that to happen, you said “when that is lost”. Sorry your situation ended up shitty, I don’t expect mine to.

I don’t look at things as “divorce first”. I get why you do, but what you are saying, very well may never happen to me.

Some people have blind faith in a God that no one can prove is there, but call me crazy, because I have a blind faith in my wife and my marriage…

Not everyone acts like your ex, and that is what I’m trying to say when you aren’t objective. For every one like your ex, there is at least one that isn’t, at least, if not more. So that leaves what, 1.5 billion woman who won’t fuck someone over?

206

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend. [/quote]

You are 100% false. Your perspective here is shit, you don’t have kids, and you and everyone needs to have one before you can have any idea what so ever how you will feel about them, raising them, or losing them.

That is like a newb pontificating how it feels to pull 5 plates, when he has never deadlifted in his life.[/quote]

Have you ever been through a custody battle or had to pay child support? I’m curious here.

207

[quote]Makavali wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend. [/quote]

You are 100% false. Your perspective here is shit, you don’t have kids, and you and everyone needs to have one before you can have any idea what so ever how you will feel about them, raising them, or losing them.

That is like a newb pontificating how it feels to pull 5 plates, when he has never deadlifted in his life.[/quote]

Have you ever been through a custody battle or had to pay child support? I’m curious here.[/quote]

I’ve been the child…

EDIT: you?

208

Dude…I’ve been a child.

209

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dude…I’ve been a child.[/quote]

You brought up logic earlier. How does being a child logically equate to understanding what it is like to be a father?

For the record:
The last court case involving my biological father was when I was 18 years old. I remember quite a bit of it… And I was an adult.

210

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dude…I’ve been a child.[/quote]

You brought up logic earlier. How does being a child logically equate to understanding what it is like to be a father?

For the record:
The last court case involving my biological father was when I was 18 years old. I remember quite a bit of it… And I was an adult.

[/quote]

Dude, I wrote that because your answer to the very same type of question was that you “were the child”. if that works, then so does BEING A CHILD.

That is logic, plain and simple.

211

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Makavali wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend. [/quote]

You are 100% false. Your perspective here is shit, you don’t have kids, and you and everyone needs to have one before you can have any idea what so ever how you will feel about them, raising them, or losing them.

That is like a newb pontificating how it feels to pull 5 plates, when he has never deadlifted in his life.[/quote]

Have you ever been through a custody battle or had to pay child support? I’m curious here.[/quote]

I’ve been the child…

EDIT: you?[/quote]

While children are indeed more perceptive than we give them credit for, you still missed a lot.

Should we write your opinions off the same way you write off X and Gabby (and presumably myself) just because you have never been through a divorce as the husband, never fought for custody as the father?

What you are doing is the same as people who claim UFOs are real and that people can’t understand them until they’ve seen/been abducted by them.

In the interests of full disclosure, my parents have been married for just shy of 30 years, have 3 kids, and show no sign of divorce (although I suspect that’s more cultural than anything). I have no children (I’m only 24), and have not been married.

212

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dude…I’ve been a child.[/quote]

You brought up logic earlier. How does being a child logically equate to understanding what it is like to be a father?

For the record:
The last court case involving my biological father was when I was 18 years old. I remember quite a bit of it… And I was an adult.

[/quote]

Dude, I wrote that because your answer to the very same type of question was that you “were the child”. if that works, then so does BEING A CHILD.

That is logic, plain and simple.[/quote]

Given I hadn’t clarified before your response, fair enough.

My direct involvement was a child and I was communicating with both sides about the situation from 16-20 when was the last time I have spoken to my biological father. (He fucked up, before any of you talk shit about my mother. He had free ride to pick me up ANY time he wanted.)

I’ve testified at my roommate in college’s divorce, and watched 2+ years of his battle. Listened to the voicemails, met the kids, etc…

I’ve seen my uncle and his wife split amicably, and watched them settle everything with very little lawyer involvement. I had long conversations with both sides there also.

my best man fought for his daughter and I’ve talked to him though the whole thing, and get along well with the mother of his son.

I have also worked on a couple divorces at work, but all we did was interact with the lawyers, and provide the numbers the entire battle was based on.

But no, my direct involvement in custody battle was when I 16-20. So if that doesn’t count, not many people other than BroncoAndy can even speak to that aspect of this thread at this point.

213

But see, I’ve been raised by teachers. I may not have kids, but I deal with kids DAILY. Many of my patients are children…and trust me, you don’t treat kids regularly without understanding their psychology…especially with what I do for a living.

I could see this hard-nosed “you don’t have kids” response if you were dealing with inexperienced children…but not grown freaking adults who treat kids daily in a clinical setting and who grew up watching other kids being raised first hand and the outcome of those choices.

I mean, seriously, for someone who doesn’t have kids, you can’t beat a scenario like that outside of someone who runs a daycare center.

That is why that shit is irritating to hear.

No one doubts the unconditional love you have for your kids or the unspeakable joy you feel knowing they will carry on your name…so stop acting like this is some secret that only parents know.

It isn’t.

Stop ignoring the sentiments of others based on that one factor at the expense of all else.

214

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Should we write your opinions off the same way you write off X and Gabby (and presumably myself) just because you have never been through a divorce as the husband, never fought for custody as the father?
[/quote]

Anyone is free to listen or not listen to my opinions. I choose to not listen to people talk about “what I’ll be like when I have kids” when they don’t have them.

If you choose that my involvement in divorces above not worthy, fine.

215

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
Beans, before you write off men’s rights just try to remember that some day our sons will be men. My wish for my children to have a better life than me extends beyond infanthood, childhood, and adolesence, as I’m sure your’s does aswell. Feminists tell girls “You don’t need a man to have a family”, and the legal system has made it the truth. [/quote]

Pegging all woman in one group because of the action of a few, is not going to help your child, and you know this.
[/quote]
Laws that protect the masses from the actions of “a few” rather than enableing them have nothing to do with pegging all women, if the masses didn’t need protection from the few we wouldn’t need laws atll, and you know this.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Painting some horrid picture of marriage and a traditional family
[/quote]
Traditional marriage is where mom lives in the house with the kids, and dad lives in a box now? Interesting.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
because of some fear born out of insecurity, the same insecurity that probably ruined the marriage that shouldn’t have happened in the first place, isn’t helping him either.
[/quote]
lol. wut?

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
I don’t want my son to have any preconceived notions about women. I want him to evaluate each individual as just that.
[/quote]
As he should.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
I want him to make choices
[/quote]

Than you’d better hope he makes ALL the right ones, because clearly you believe that every man who makes the wrong one should risk being thrown under the bus.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
that make him happy and lead a life that he wants to live. I want him to understand he doesn’t have to be another statistic, and he won’t, without reason,
[/quote]
Because clearly it’s the man’s fault in all of these situations. Right?

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
get assfucked by any and every woman alive.
[/quote]

It only takes one.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Not all woman are bad, a couple of fucking retards won’t ruin his view of whole group.

You falsely assume because I don’t rally behind you or UG that would be my course of action or intent.
[/quote]

Than by all means, enlighten me. “This can’t possibly happen to me or mine” is such a naive arrogance that surely can’t be what you mean to say here.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

Sorry, I don’t expect that to happen, you said “when that is lost”. Sorry your situation ended up shitty, I don’t expect mine to.
[/quote]
Hypothetical dude… You wanna sit here and try to explain to someone who doesn’t have kids? I’m sitting here trying to explain what it’s like to lose them, because your attitude shows that you haven’t experienced, or thought about this at all. I’m glad you live above the toil of the average man. Happy for you really. But get off your fucking high holy stead for just a moment, and think about it.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
I don’t look at things as “divorce first”. I get why you do, but what you are saying, very well may never happen to me.

[/quote]

Not having a plan for the worst case scenarios is careless. Good thing you’ve got that invincible suit of armor sir knight.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

Some people have blind faith in a God that no one can prove is there, but call me crazy, because I have a blind faith in my wife and my marriage…
[/quote]

Your crazy.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

Not everyone acts like your ex, and that is what I’m trying to say when you aren’t objective. For every one like your ex, there is at least one that isn’t, at least, if not more. So that leaves what, 1.5 billion woman who won’t fuck someone over?[/quote]

Again, it only takes 1. You said yourself several pages ago that people aren’t interested in the interests of the children, only themselves. Has your stance on that changed since that? Greedy, selfish, angry, desperate people will do all kinds of nasty things with very little encouragement, and you know this.

216

[quote]Professor X wrote:

No one doubts the unconditional love you have for your kids or the unspeakable joy you feel knowing they will carry on your name…so stop acting like this is some secret that only parents know.

It isn’t.
[/quote]

I’m curious if Heavythrower or DJ agree with your feelings. I don’t know what it is like being a doctor.

Let me try and explain further, why I feel like all that is irrelevant to the point you are trying to make:

It has nothing to do with my name. It has nothing to do with me honestly.

Is it cool? Sure. But it doesn’t matter, it isn’t, at all what I’m talking about here.

Now maybe you picked a poor example, or maybe you don’t actually get it.

[quote]so stop acting like this is some secret that only parents know.

It isn’t.[/quote]

It isn’t a secret. I explained it best I could on the last page or this one, not sure at this point.

That feeling isn’t a secret, not one bit, there are countless songs and movies written about it, there are a thousand stories, and if you have facebook, I’m sure you read about it every day…

As a father do I feel like your medical experience = understanding what it is like being a parent? Nope. But I don’t know what it is like being a doctor. I might be wrong.

Do you agree that I might be wrong, because I don’t know what being a doctor is like?

217

Dude, the only thing I agree with is not discounting the opinion of someone who has a job treating kids when it comes to the subject of kids. That’s it.

None of us have died yet either, but I am sure we can understand many of the feelings at that moment which is why you mentioned “dying alone”.

It is a cop out, nothing more, that allows parents to close their ears if they don’t like something a non-parent is saying.

yeah, if someone has no experience whatsoever with kids, then I can understand more.

218

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
“This can’t possibly happen to me or mine” is such a naive arrogance that surely can’t be what you mean to say here.

[/quote]

Dude, first, fix your quotes, I can’t be bothered to go through that a 1am.

Second, if that is what you are getting out of my posts, I’m fucking flabbergasted. You can’t honestly…

Fix your quotes please before I respond further.

219

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Dude, the only thing I agree with is not discounting the opinion of someone who has a job treating kids when it comes to the subject of kids. That’s it.[/quote]

Behavior sure. But you don’t understand that feeling dude, you just don’t.

You’ll agree with me someday I promise.

I used that in a more “I don’t want to be an old lonely fucker” sense.

No, it isn’t. Just like the reasons I listed for getting married were not justifications, but rather rational thoughts.

But for the sake of discussion lets just assume for the rest of the thread that anyone can pontificate endless about what it is like to be a parent and how they’ll feel. Deal?

220

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
“This can’t possibly happen to me or mine” is such a naive arrogance that surely can’t be what you mean to say here.

[/quote]

Dude, first, fix your quotes, I can’t be bothered to go through that a 1am.

Second, if that is what you are getting out of my posts, I’m fucking flabbergasted. You can’t honestly…

Fix your quotes please before I respond further.

[/quote]

My appolagies. Missed a / in one of the endings.

And that is what I’m getting, but I’m sure it’s a misinterpratation on my part, as you wouldn’t have gone this many pages if it were the case. That’s why I ask for clarification.