Paternity Testing

Off Topic
181

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]smokotime wrote:
Just throwing this out there, but shouldn’t your birth certificate have your biological parents on it? [/quote]

That’s the point. Up until now, it looks like the mother could just name the father. If she was lying to the dad, he would never know unless he asked her for a paternity test…and then gave her half of everything he owns after she divorces him for asking.[/quote]

Not the purpose behind this bill though X.

This is about the fact that Medicaid wants to go after the correct daddy for child support.

So 18 year old mom, has baby, names BF and BF skips. The state can go after his ass, his defense could be Not my baby Prove it. If they had it from birth could save court costs.

If something like this passed it is just a slam dunk for the Attorney General to get reimbursed for payments of Medicaid.

182

^good point. It is the gub’ment. I didn’t really think of it as them protecting us.

However, how often is that even happening anyway? It is a little difficult to run from child support payments lately just because of technology. Short of acting like you have no job or moving to Canada, how is someone going to get away with that?

183

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

That’s because we’re not drinking the kool-aid boss.

[/quote]

Whatever helps you sleep at night man…

Can you link the webpage you got that other part from?[/quote]

http://childrens-justice.org/myths.htm

sourced from this book:

Now, don’t get me wrong, statistics can be bent, and manipulated in odd ways to suit anyone’s purpose. Case in point, the most often cited statistics that “prove” that the standard of living for women decreases after divorce comes from Lenore Weitzman’s “The Divorce Revolution” - a work that has since been disproven, and admitted by the author herself to be untrue. (You can read about that at http://www.acbr.com/biglie.htm if you’d like). But I don’t need statistics to tell me there aren’t as many “deadbeat” dads in the world as most people would have you believe.

In Canada, (and I assume the U.S.) you are required to pay income tax on every dollar you earn. You’re employer is legally required to report how much they pay you, and usually take said taxes right off the top. The agencies in charge of collecting alimony, and child support are some of the most powerful divisions of government there are, and they work hand in hand with the Canada revenue agency to make sure that they get your money. It works just like taxes - they take it off your pay before it even gets to your bank. Now there are illegal ways to make money that will fly under their radar. Selling drugs to school children for example. But basically by the time you’re making significant amounts of money via these methods you’re committing more crimes than just tax evasion, and child support non-payment. Sure you can make a couple bucks here and there bailing hay, fixing small engines or what have you, but your not gonna get rich at it, and it’s not as if you can quit your job to work “under the table” to skip out on it full time, because if your regular job goes away, the court imputes you an income and you gain nothing. If you run a business and do have potential to make your living in cash, your wife knew that, and simply tells the court what to impute. They’ll review your books, figure out fair market value for your services, and you’ll owe them whatever number they decide on. There is simply no ducking it, and unless you want to have a guy in a red coat ride his horse into your bedroom and arrest you in the middle of the night, you wont even bother trying.

And I don’t sleep at night. I’m too busy working 14 hour shifts paying for the decisions of a woman who swore up and down before we ever even had sex that she would never do this.

184

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

Because you, not the law, are going to put the child’s needs ahead of yours. So what the law thinks won’t matter.

Unless someone is a scumbag, then they will abandon the kid to punish the whore of a mother.
[/quote]

Of course I will still love the child, (I’ve always said that), but that doesn’t mean I’m going to keep paying mom’s rent. But the law WILL put the child’s needs ahead of mine, by taking a very large percentage of my income away from me and redistributing it to the mother. That is another thing that is massively fucked up about the system, it treats all father’s as deadbeat dads.

[/quote]

Also, FOR THE 400TH FUCKING TIME. WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU, NOT THE FUCKING COURT, WILL PUT THE CHILD’S NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN.

opps, didn’t mean to hit the caps lock, lol, but I’ll leave it. Maybe it will sink in this time.[/quote]

I heard you the first time, and it is incredibly stupid because it is irrelevant. The court will put the child’s needs before my own, BY TAKING A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF MY INCOME AND REDISTRIBUTING TO THE MOTHER, caps intentional, which is not how I would go about putting the kids needs before my own at all.

So are you trying to say I won’t mind getting assraped because I have kids? That makes no sense. Why should she take my money from me to spend on the kids when I could spend it directly myself?

Moving on, I’m really glad to hear about all of your male friends who have custody of their kids. I’m sure it varies from state to state, but in Virginia the mother gets custody pretty much by default, unless she is a crack whore, and even then all she has to do is clean up her act for a year or two, get a better lawyer and resume the legal battle. The money some divorced couples give to the bloodsucking lawyers could easily buy the kid a college education, but who cares, what their really after is majority custody which means $$$.

Which is…wait for it…Massively fucked up.

That’s all the modern family court system is about, stealing money from whichever parent makes the most. Why isn’t 50/50 custody the default? That would be the only just system you could have. It is just as wrong to deny a father access to his child as it is to deny a child access to his father. If both parents spend an equal amount of time raising the kid, then there is no reason to redistribute wealth from one parent to another. Think about that a while.

Edit: but nor would I ever want to deny a child access to his mother, or the other way around.

185

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I get why some of you respond the way you do…but it would seem that the response is simply to justify your own actions.

I am asking logically, what is the real benefit of marriage for the guy in the relationship?[/quote]

Let me try and answer this by telling you why I got married, and if you find it some empty justification, so be it. I don’t see it like that, but

I found a woman that:

  1. I love
  2. Is smart, independent, has a career and real life goals
  3. Challenged me & is my equal
  4. Makes me want to be better than I was yesterday
  5. Scored low on the crazy scale, particularly given how high she scores on the hotness scale
  6. Supports me, my career & my goals
  7. Is a good mom, and god forbid something happens to me, my kids are all set.
  8. Our views on things like religion and politics are compatible.
  9. Comes from a strong family with good core values
  10. Is willing to put up with me, and all my imperfections
  11. Cares about her appearance, long after the honeymoon this has continued
  12. We trust each other and can communicate

Did I have to marry her to have all this, to commit to her for life, to not have to worry about dieing alone? Nope. But it felt right to do, and as of today, it was still one of the best decisions of my life. The thought of my life without her in it, kinda fucking sucks.

Do you need marriage? no. Is it a bad thing? For some people.

Is she my “soul mate”? I haven’t the slightest clue. Is she “the one”? No idea. All I know is I want her in my life, and I’m willing to do anything for that, for her, and for us.

If she turns crazy and fucks me over, so be it. I’ll wear the egg on my face, and know why I did what I did, but I’m not going to worry about what might be. Life is too short to not do what you feel is right.

I felt marriage was right. If you don’t, no one is saying you have to in order to have the same things I do. It isn’t for everyone.

Is that logical? I doubt it, but I don’t really care.

This is a concept that is impossible to explain to non-parents. But I’ll try.

There will come a day, where you’ll come home from an absolute shit day at the office. Everything just went wrong, and someone dented your 40k car on the ride home. Now, your son is about 5 at this point, so times where he would be so happy to see you, his whole body would go into convulsions just because you walked in the door, are gone. Now he is just plain happy to see you, excited as can be, but it isn’t as passionate as it was 3 years ago.

You’ll feed him dinner, and talk about his day with him, this makes you feel better, but you are still tired, and angry. Because you are just done with life, and don’t want to hear him whine, you agree to watch Cars the movie for the 482nd time after dinner. So you tell him to brush his teeth and put on PJ’s. Now while he is grabbing his blanket and pillow, fucking PUMPED to be watching his favorite movie with his favorite person, you’ll be thinking: "Jesus, I know every line in this movie by heart, and he always laughs at the same stupid Mater jokes. But… It’s been a long day, and I’ll just zone out and make his day for him.

So about 40mins in, you notice he isn’t laughing at the same jokes anymore. And you look over and he is passed out. You’ll watch him sleep for a moment and think about how innocent he is, and how he has no idea at how hard life is going to fuck him in the ass in a few years. You wonder if you’ll be there when life slaps him in the face to help him brush himself off when he gets up. You wonder if he’ll have to deal with the fat bitch in the cube next door that smells like wet dog and talks down about you to everyone… Then you’ll realize you are still dwelling on the shit day you had.

So you’ll stand up, and go to pick him up to bring him to bed. As you lift him off the couch, he will startle awake… He will panic for a second, not knowing what the hell is going on. Then, his eyes will meet yours, you will be able to watch the calm rush back over him, and you will feel him thinking “oh, it is just dad.”

When he falls back asleep in your arms, that is when it hits you. That is when you know. You are everything to this little man. You are him, he is yours, you are his, and your whole life has been lived solely for this one moment. For the 45 seconds it take to walk him to his room, you are superman, you are spiderman, you are every hero that could ever be imagined, to him. And he is all that matters.

186

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

Moving on, I’m really glad to hear about all of your male friends who have custody of their kids. I’m sure it varies from state to state, but in Virginia the mother gets custody pretty much by default, unless she is a crack whore, and even then all she has to do is clean up her act for a year or two, get a better lawyer and resume the legal battle. [/quote]

My college roommate, was married in Virgina, I testified at his divorce. Wife lived in Virgina, and he moved to Seattle.

Hilarious coincidence.

187

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

Is that because woman have been the lawyers, legislators and judges that wrote these laws and set the precedences that rulings are based off of?[/quote]

Come on man.

We were having a civil discussion, then you have to go and write one of the dumbest fucking things I have ever read in my life. I literally did laugh out loud when I read that. Laws and legal precedents are written by LAWYERS. LAWYERS. And who profits from the protracted legal battles that accompany every divorce and/or custody battle?

2 plus 2 = what?

188

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

Moving on, I’m really glad to hear about all of your male friends who have custody of their kids. I’m sure it varies from state to state, but in Virginia the mother gets custody pretty much by default, unless she is a crack whore, and even then all she has to do is clean up her act for a year or two, get a better lawyer and resume the legal battle. [/quote]

My college roommate, was married in Virgina, I testified at his divorce. Wife lived in Virgina, and he moved to Seattle.

Hilarious coincidence. [/quote]

That’s fantastic news to me. It gives me hope. I’m waiting for you to respond to the rest of the points in my post, but I won’t wait long as you’ve done plenty of dodgin in this thread already.

189

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
There will come a day, where you’ll come home from an absolute shit day at the office. Everything just went wrong, and someone dented your 40k car on the ride home. Now, your son is about 5 at this point, so times where he would be so happy to see you, his whole body would go into convulsions just because you walked in the door, are gone. Now he is just plain happy to see you, excited as can be, but it isn’t as passionate as it was 3 years ago.

You’ll feed him dinner, and talk about his day with him, this makes you feel better, but you are still tired, and angry. Because you are just done with life, and don’t want to hear him whine, you agree to watch Cars the movie for the 482nd time after dinner. So you tell him to brush his teeth and put on PJ’s. Now while he is grabbing his blanket and pillow, fucking PUMPED to be watching his favorite movie with his favorite person, you’ll be thinking: "Jesus, I know every line in this movie by heart, and he always laughs at the same stupid Mater jokes. But… It’s been a long day, and I’ll just zone out and make his day for him.

So about 40mins in, you notice he isn’t laughing at the same jokes anymore. And you look over and he is passed out. You’ll watch him sleep for a moment and think about how innocent he is, and how he has no idea at how hard life is going to fuck him in the ass in a few years. You wonder if you’ll be there when life slaps him in the face to help him brush himself off when he gets up. You wonder if he’ll have to deal with the fat bitch in the cube next door that smells like wet dog and talks down about you to everyone… Then you’ll realize you are still dwelling on the shit day you had.

So you’ll stand up, and go to pick him up to bring him to bed. As you lift him off the couch, he will startle awake… He will panic for a second, not knowing what the hell is going on. Then, his eyes will meet yours, you will be able to watch the calm rush back over him, and you will feel him thinking “oh, it is just dad.”

When he falls back asleep in your arms, that is when it hits you. That is when you know. You are everything to this little man. You are him, he is yours, you are his, and your whole life has been lived solely for this one moment. For the 45 seconds it take to walk him to his room, you are superman, you are spiderman, you are every hero that could ever be imagined, to him. And he is all that matters.

[/quote]
That’s a fantastic story and I hope to experience that for myself one day. However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend.

190

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
There will come a day, where you’ll come home from an absolute shit day at the office. Everything just went wrong, and someone dented your 40k car on the ride home. Now, your son is about 5 at this point, so times where he would be so happy to see you, his whole body would go into convulsions just because you walked in the door, are gone. Now he is just plain happy to see you, excited as can be, but it isn’t as passionate as it was 3 years ago.

You’ll feed him dinner, and talk about his day with him, this makes you feel better, but you are still tired, and angry. Because you are just done with life, and don’t want to hear him whine, you agree to watch Cars the movie for the 482nd time after dinner. So you tell him to brush his teeth and put on PJ’s. Now while he is grabbing his blanket and pillow, fucking PUMPED to be watching his favorite movie with his favorite person, you’ll be thinking: "Jesus, I know every line in this movie by heart, and he always laughs at the same stupid Mater jokes. But… It’s been a long day, and I’ll just zone out and make his day for him.

So about 40mins in, you notice he isn’t laughing at the same jokes anymore. And you look over and he is passed out. You’ll watch him sleep for a moment and think about how innocent he is, and how he has no idea at how hard life is going to fuck him in the ass in a few years. You wonder if you’ll be there when life slaps him in the face to help him brush himself off when he gets up. You wonder if he’ll have to deal with the fat bitch in the cube next door that smells like wet dog and talks down about you to everyone… Then you’ll realize you are still dwelling on the shit day you had.

So you’ll stand up, and go to pick him up to bring him to bed. As you lift him off the couch, he will startle awake… He will panic for a second, not knowing what the hell is going on. Then, his eyes will meet yours, you will be able to watch the calm rush back over him, and you will feel him thinking “oh, it is just dad.”

When he falls back asleep in your arms, that is when it hits you. That is when you know. You are everything to this little man. You are him, he is yours, you are his, and your whole life has been lived solely for this one moment. For the 45 seconds it take to walk him to his room, you are superman, you are spiderman, you are every hero that could ever be imagined, to him. And he is all that matters.

[/quote]
That’s a fantastic story and I hope to experience that for myself one day. However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend. [/quote]

I think maybe a better question for Beans would be how he figured out that the woman he married was the right one. I’m thinking Beans makes good decisions.

Or maybe ask yourself why you end up with crazy women. I know you don’t have kids but if this is a fear of yours there must be a reason. Do you often end up with women who stab you in the back/cheat/whatever?

191

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
Or maybe ask yourself why you end up with crazy women. I know you don’t have kids but if this is a fear of yours there must be a reason. Do you often end up with women who stab you in the back/cheat/whatever?

[/quote]

It’s because there aren’t as many sane women as women would have you believe, and not all of the crazy ones wear their shoes as a hat, and speak in tongues. We have generations of women with entitlement issues, having been “freed” by feminism to do whatever they please, whenever they please, under laws that encourage poor behaviour, where their rights are held suppreme, but no corresponding responsabilities are given, and consequences for poor decisions are shielded, and sheltered to the point of irrelevance. Meanwhile we have generations of boys being raised by women in fatherless homes to believe that women are all but infallible, that have not yet awakend to the fact that they’re playing a brand new game by the old rules. Men who are biologically hardwired to love women, and with that love comes the perils of trust, and optimism that “maybe the next one won’t be so nuts”, and “she’s way better than the last”, and “She’d never do THAT”.

192

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
Or maybe ask yourself why you end up with crazy women. I know you don’t have kids but if this is a fear of yours there must be a reason. Do you often end up with women who stab you in the back/cheat/whatever?

[/quote]

It’s because there aren’t as many sane women as women would have you believe, and not all of the crazy ones wear their shoes as a hat, and speak in tongues. We have generations of women with entitlement issues, having been “freed” by feminism to do whatever they please, whenever they please, under laws that encourage poor behaviour, where their rights are held suppreme, but no corresponding responsabilities are given, and consequences for poor decisions are shielded, and sheltered to the point of irrelevance. Meanwhile we have generations of boys being raised by women in fatherless homes to believe that women are all but infallible, that have not yet awakend to the fact that they’re playing a brand new game by the old rules. Men who are biologically hardwired to love women, and with that love comes the perils of trust, and optimism that “maybe the next one won’t be so nuts”, and “she’s way better than the last”, and “She’d never do THAT”.[/quote]

Women are hardwired to love men too.
I know that I made a wrong decision to marry who I married, and why I made that mistake. Can’t you see the mistake you made in marrying her now? Is there no chance of doing it differently if you meet someone else, how to judge them better?

193

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
I’m waiting for you to respond to the rest of the points in my post, but I won’t wait long as you’ve done plenty of dodgin in this thread already.[/quote]

I’m not dodging a mother fucking thing. I told you I’m done talking “theory” with you. You haven’t a) had kids b) been through a divorce and I assume c) been married. Your perspective sucks and you are basing you stance on conjecture and unfounded opinion.

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
I literally did laugh out loud when I read that. Laws and legal precedents are written by LAWYERS. LAWYERS. [/quote]

Last I checked the laws were passed by the legislative branch. And last I looked that has been dominated by rich white men for the better part of American history

While many of the people elected to office come from a law background (judicial branch) they are not, in fact, profiting on the “fleecing of men” in America.

But, for good measure I believe the Judicial Branch has also been dominated by rich white men for the better part of American history.

So you have no one to blame for this mess of a system, but white DUDES, and the behavior of split couples (both sexes here boys) over the course of time.

Things are apparently changing, because apparently technology has now eliminated any chance of fraud or being a deadbeat, but it is also changing in that the father can and will get custody.

194

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
However, that has nothing to do with how I would feel after a divorce, coming home to an empty apartment because I can’t go back to the house I helped pay for, and can’t see the kids until next weekend. [/quote]

You are 100% false. Your perspective here is shit, you don’t have kids, and you and everyone needs to have one before you can have any idea what so ever how you will feel about them, raising them, or losing them.

That is like a newb pontificating how it feels to pull 5 plates, when he has never deadlifted in his life.

195

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I get why some of you respond the way you do…but it would seem that the response is simply to justify your own actions.

I am asking logically, what is the real benefit of marriage for the guy in the relationship?[/quote]

Let me try and answer this by telling you why I got married, and if you find it some empty justification, so be it. I don’t see it like that, but

I found a woman that:

  1. I love
  2. Is smart, independent, has a career and real life goals
  3. Challenged me & is my equal
  4. Makes me want to be better than I was yesterday
  5. Scored low on the crazy scale, particularly given how high she scores on the hotness scale
  6. Supports me, my career & my goals
  7. Is a good mom, and god forbid something happens to me, my kids are all set.
  8. Our views on things like religion and politics are compatible.
  9. Comes from a strong family with good core values
  10. Is willing to put up with me, and all my imperfections
  11. Cares about her appearance, long after the honeymoon this has continued
  12. We trust each other and can communicate

Did I have to marry her to have all this, to commit to her for life, to not have to worry about dieing alone? Nope. But it felt right to do, and as of today, it was still one of the best decisions of my life. The thought of my life without her in it, kinda fucking sucks.

Do you need marriage? no. Is it a bad thing? For some people.

Is she my “soul mate”? I haven’t the slightest clue. Is she “the one”? No idea. All I know is I want her in my life, and I’m willing to do anything for that, for her, and for us.

If she turns crazy and fucks me over, so be it. I’ll wear the egg on my face, and know why I did what I did, but I’m not going to worry about what might be. Life is too short to not do what you feel is right.

I felt marriage was right. If you don’t, no one is saying you have to in order to have the same things I do. It isn’t for everyone.

Is that logical? I doubt it, but I don’t really care.

This is a concept that is impossible to explain to non-parents. But I’ll try.

There will come a day, where you’ll come home from an absolute shit day at the office. Everything just went wrong, and someone dented your 40k car on the ride home. Now, your son is about 5 at this point, so times where he would be so happy to see you, his whole body would go into convulsions just because you walked in the door, are gone. Now he is just plain happy to see you, excited as can be, but it isn’t as passionate as it was 3 years ago.

You’ll feed him dinner, and talk about his day with him, this makes you feel better, but you are still tired, and angry. Because you are just done with life, and don’t want to hear him whine, you agree to watch Cars the movie for the 482nd time after dinner. So you tell him to brush his teeth and put on PJ’s. Now while he is grabbing his blanket and pillow, fucking PUMPED to be watching his favorite movie with his favorite person, you’ll be thinking: "Jesus, I know every line in this movie by heart, and he always laughs at the same stupid Mater jokes. But… It’s been a long day, and I’ll just zone out and make his day for him.

So about 40mins in, you notice he isn’t laughing at the same jokes anymore. And you look over and he is passed out. You’ll watch him sleep for a moment and think about how innocent he is, and how he has no idea at how hard life is going to fuck him in the ass in a few years. You wonder if you’ll be there when life slaps him in the face to help him brush himself off when he gets up. You wonder if he’ll have to deal with the fat bitch in the cube next door that smells like wet dog and talks down about you to everyone… Then you’ll realize you are still dwelling on the shit day you had.

So you’ll stand up, and go to pick him up to bring him to bed. As you lift him off the couch, he will startle awake… He will panic for a second, not knowing what the hell is going on. Then, his eyes will meet yours, you will be able to watch the calm rush back over him, and you will feel him thinking “oh, it is just dad.”

When he falls back asleep in your arms, that is when it hits you. That is when you know. You are everything to this little man. You are him, he is yours, you are his, and your whole life has been lived solely for this one moment. For the 45 seconds it take to walk him to his room, you are superman, you are spiderman, you are every hero that could ever be imagined, to him. And he is all that matters.

[/quote]
Damn good post, Beans.

I’d concur with the reasons you got married, also.

Falling in love, marrying and genuinely giving yourself to that person takes a LOT of courage… Some people find the risks greater than the reward and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I was on the fence about getting married…then I met Greeny. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

…except maybe that giant dinosaur set when I was 8. It was THAT cool.

Looks on EBay for dinosaur set

196

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
Or maybe ask yourself why you end up with crazy women. I know you don’t have kids but if this is a fear of yours there must be a reason. Do you often end up with women who stab you in the back/cheat/whatever?

[/quote]

It’s because there aren’t as many sane women as women would have you believe, and not all of the crazy ones wear their shoes as a hat, and speak in tongues. We have generations of women with entitlement issues, having been “freed” by feminism to do whatever they please, whenever they please, under laws that encourage poor behaviour, where their rights are held suppreme, but no corresponding responsabilities are given, and consequences for poor decisions are shielded, and sheltered to the point of irrelevance. Meanwhile we have generations of boys being raised by women in fatherless homes to believe that women are all but infallible, that have not yet awakend to the fact that they’re playing a brand new game by the old rules. Men who are biologically hardwired to love women, and with that love comes the perils of trust, and optimism that “maybe the next one won’t be so nuts”, and “she’s way better than the last”, and “She’d never do THAT”.[/quote]

I feel for you and your situation, and you for the most part, at least here, have handled it “like a man” for lack of a better phrase.

But fuck am I glad I don’t see the world like you do.

Every girl I spent significant time with broke my heart some way or another before my wife. But I don’t hold the actions of a few individuals against the other 3 some odd billion women on Earth.

Now every “real man” worried about “mens rights” will call me a white knight or a cool-ade drinker, but I don’t really give a fuck. I’m a pretty happy person, and treating people as individuals has worked out for me more often than not.

197

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Damn good post, Beans.

I’d concur with the reasons you got married, also.

Falling in love, marrying and genuinely giving yourself to that person takes a LOT of courage… [/quote]

Thanks, and this.

Being vulnerable is scary as hell, and very very hard to do, particularly if you have been forced to eat a shit stick before.

But on some levels it is the best part. It makes it real.

198

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Damn good post, Beans.

I’d concur with the reasons you got married, also.

Falling in love, marrying and genuinely giving yourself to that person takes a LOT of courage… [/quote]

Thanks, and this.

Being vulnerable is scary as hell, and very very hard to do, particularly if you have been forced to eat a shit stick before.

But on some levels it is the best part. It makes it real. [/quote]

Very true.

I always thought that I was pretty good with the intimacy aspect part of the relationship …and i’m finding out that’s not necessarily the case. lol.

It’s been so ridiculously easy to keep everybody at arms length and only allowing myself to get so close to people, that I didn’t realize that I was even doing it.

I was starting to do the same thing with Greeny for no reason whatsoever and i’m in the process of changing that. It’s not easy, though.

/hijack maybe.

199

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
Or maybe ask yourself why you end up with crazy women. I know you don’t have kids but if this is a fear of yours there must be a reason. Do you often end up with women who stab you in the back/cheat/whatever?

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It’s because there aren’t as many sane women as women would have you believe, and not all of the crazy ones wear their shoes as a hat, and speak in tongues. We have generations of women with entitlement issues, having been “freed” by feminism to do whatever they please, whenever they please, under laws that encourage poor behaviour, where their rights are held suppreme, but no corresponding responsabilities are given, and consequences for poor decisions are shielded, and sheltered to the point of irrelevance. Meanwhile we have generations of boys being raised by women in fatherless homes to believe that women are all but infallible, that have not yet awakend to the fact that they’re playing a brand new game by the old rules. Men who are biologically hardwired to love women, and with that love comes the perils of trust, and optimism that “maybe the next one won’t be so nuts”, and “she’s way better than the last”, and “She’d never do THAT”.[/quote]

Women are hardwired to love men too.
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There are laws in place that shield them from the consequences of loving the wrong man. A man who has loved the wrong woman however knows no relief, and it is with this that I take issue.

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

I know that I made a wrong decision to marry who I married, and why I made that mistake. Can’t you see the mistake you made in marrying her now? Is there no chance of doing it differently if you meet someone else, how to judge them better? [/quote]

People change. Especially young people. She isn’t the same person now as she was when we first divorced, and she wasn’t the same person when we divorced as when we got married. It wasn’t until the birth of our daughter when she first started to display signs her bi-polar disorder. You see my ex-wife is not just “crazy”. She’s literally CrAzY. And no, that apperently isn’t sufficient grounds for me to have cutody of my kids either, because you see it’s a “treatable illness”, and judges don’t discriminate against sick women, unless you can prove it prevents them from caring for the kids. I WISH I was making this shit up. How the fuck could I have seen that comming? Nowadays, I stick to much older women, who’ve had more time to develop any latent psychological disorders, and aren’t as likely to suffer from delusions of grandure… Plus they’re harder to get preggers.

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I do tire of the “you can’t speak on the subject of kids at all until you have kids” mentality that pops up so often. No, I don’t have kids. That doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t work.