My friend has a 9 year old girl who is overweight. She’s not huge, but at 9 years old you shouldn’t be wearing your mom’s size medium blouses.
Her mom is enrolling her in soccer this week, and she wants to encourage her daughter to eat properly. What can I do to help?
Best thing you can do is NOT drill the kid and simply lead by example.
Eat only good foods and show how much you enjoy them. make it all fun. be active etc… Dont make this change a Pain in the kids ass.
Fun and she will stick to it.
Thats my take anyhow,
Phill
You have not mentioned if the mom has actually ASKED you for help. Give the mom advice if she asks for it, support the mother in ways she feels comfortable with. And if she doesn’t want/need advice. BUTT OUT…
Just a thought… If the mother eats well/properly, then chances are, the example would help the kid.
Mowgli, no need to get uptight about it.
Thanks, Phill. That’s what I was thinking. Do what I can to lead by example. I don’t want the girl to grow up w/ body image issues! Her mom told her that she ‘needs to start thinking about how much she eats because she’s getting to an age now where it matters.’
I didn’t think that was a great thing to say, but honestly, how many people know what to say in that situation?
Maybe we can have them over soon and not make a point of the girl’s eating habits, but just eat something healthful w/ normal portions.
The “Zone” style diet has been used with some success with kids. In other words, a nice balanced diet with good meets, veggies, and healthy fats. It’s also good to see the mother is looking for activities. I’ll back what others have said: mom needs to lead by example.
[quote]Gothic77 wrote:
Mowgli, no need to get uptight about it.
Thanks, Phill. That’s what I was thinking. Do what I can to lead by example. I don’t want the girl to grow up w/ body image issues! Her mom told her that she ‘needs to start thinking about how much she eats because she’s getting to an age now where it matters.’
I didn’t think that was a great thing to say, but honestly, how many people know what to say in that situation?
Maybe we can have them over soon and not make a point of the girl’s eating habits, but just eat something healthful w/ normal portions.[/quote]
I don’t think it was a good thing to say either. Nearly every girl in my high school would probably qualify as having an eating disorder of some sort. I would see many eating crackers and bottle water for “lunch”. At that age, getting crap from home would make her life hell and force to see herself as less than, even where she should feel most comfortable. Seeing as you aren’t her parent though, there is little you can do aside from lead by example. Any real damage can still be done at home and that will be the damage that lasts.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
I don’t think it was a good thing to say either. Nearly every girl in my high school would probably qualify as having an eating disorder of some sort. I would see many eating crackers and bottle water for “lunch”. At that age, getting crap from home would make her life hell and force to see herself as less than, even where she should feel most comfortable. Seeing as you aren’t her parent though, there is little you can do aside from lead by example. Any real damage can still be done at home and that will be the damage that lasts.
[/quote]
Yeah. That’s exactly what I was thinking, X.
When I was 14 my mom was into some fad diet. If you wnat to lose weight, you need to eat half your weight in fat grams per day. (150 lbs, 75 grams of fat, no more.) I started dieting. I ate 2 pieces of fruit for lunch every day, no breakfast, and a meat and 2 veggies for dinner.
I lost 6 lbs in 5 days.
I was starving myself.
I’ll do what I can so that S can see a good example. Maybe just general conversation w/ her mom about eating, not specifying anything.
Thanks, Roofus. I’ll suggest it to the mom. Maybe she’d check it out.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
I don’t think it was a good thing to say either. Nearly every girl in my high school would probably qualify as having an eating disorder of some sort. I would see many eating crackers and bottle water for “lunch”. At that age, getting crap from home would make her life hell and force to see herself as less than, even where she should feel most comfortable. Seeing as you aren’t her parent though, there is little you can do aside from lead by example. Any real damage can still be done at home and that will be the damage that lasts.
[/quote]
This is very true. This happened to me. When I was 9 or 10, I was a tad on the chubby side. (My mom would cook all of this super fried super buttered super southern food and would give praises for eating a ton of it). So, I eventually became chubby. Then one day my self esteem took a deep blow. When I reached for something in the fridge she said “You may need to cut back on those, your getting thick and I think that will just worsen your situation.” My meals were already horrible…I grew up doing what she did. Eating twice a day. One medium sized meal and one huge one at night. Neither nutritious. I’d have a grilled cheese earlier in the day, maybe some fries at school for lunch and then her huge home cooked meal at night. When she tried losing a few pounds, she’d just skip a meal and maybe eat once. So at 10 yrs old, I did the same. I was eating one large (really unhealthy) meal a day at night because I thought if my mom felt as if I was “fat” I needed to do something about it because surely others thought the same. I continued down this same path and at age 12 I had more negative feed back from her. Thus, I started running miles a day. I had a really bad eating disorder and I was running rain or shine because I was wanting to please her the most. My stomach got completly out of wack. It got to the point where if I ate the same thing for a few days, then switched it up, my stomach would go to pieces. I would unwillingly spend hours in the bathroom many nights. By 13 I was running 3 or 4 miles a day, eating one meal a day. I maintained and was “a good weight” in her eyes. Eventually I took a tough blow to my ankle playing softball in high school, so I stopped running. Throughout high school I’d have maybe some chips for lunch. Perhaps a little bit of my mom’s food at night. I honestly thought this was ok since I was no longer “overweight” in my mother’s eyes.
Luckily, my boyfriend intervened and I started eating healthy and actually lifting weights shortly after I graduated. The effects were still felt by my stomach when I tried changing my eating patterns because I’d find myself once again in the bathroom with the runs. By then, my metabolism was shot and now I have degenerative cartlidge in my knees due to me running every freakin day at a young age. When I started lifting weights I weighed around 115. I gained to 140 (mostly muscle…90% muscle) in about 4 months because my body wasn’t use to eating more. I’m a lot happier with my self image now, but I still recieve rough comments from my mom about me lifting weights. (She thinks as long as you are “thin” it is attractive…even if it means being soft). I don’t want to be “thin,” I want to be muscular with nice curves. I still battle sometimes in my head over my self image and I think a lot of it has to do with years of hearing my mom’s negative comments. She still does it. It can really hurt. I thrive off of perfection, unattainable perfection.
So fair warning to anyone who reads this that knows a “chubby” kid or has a “chubby” kid: What you say to them can have very harfmul effects down the road, so be careful. Be careful and lead by a GOOD example.
And look at you now Southerngirl…
You’re straight blazing!!!
SG, I am just in shock. You realize that you rock EVEN MORE now because of what you overcame. You were an awesome role model to me before I read your story! Wow.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to share your story w/ my friend, just so she can hear the perspective from a child’s viewpoint.
Wow.
Lots to think about tonight.
Certainly teaching kids about good eating habits is important, but like many have mentioned if not handled properly it could affect her self esteem in a negative way.
I suggest getting her more active. Maybe find a way for her mother to encourage her to join a sport or have them do things that will get her up and moving. Kids, anymore, seem to be more glued to technology than the outdoors. I think if we could get kids to be more active it would certainly help ward off childhood obesity. Just a suggestion.
T-Vixen Mod
The same thing happend to me with my body image (and my dad instead of my mom) when my metabolism crashed from eating only 1 meal a day though I gained weight… A LOT- I ballooned to 235lbs at about 17-18 (size 22) and I was eating barely nothing. I also had many stomach issues like SG mentioned and more. I was frequently sick, and slept alot (naps, 11 hour nights). Yeah I was a mess. A balanced diet & eating several times a day has been my “salvation”.
since she’s way young, why don’t you ask her to do some activities with you?
go on bike rides, maybe rollerblade around a park, jump on a trampoline etc…
anything these days that can get people outside and DOING something seems to be a lot better than sitting around eating Oreos or something equally as bad. Seeing how this person is so young, get them involved with an activity they can enjoy that gets them out of the house and DOING something.
Also, since it’s not your kid, you might wanna bring her mom along too.
[quote]Gothic77 wrote:
SG, I am just in shock. You realize that you rock EVEN MORE now because of what you overcame. You were an awesome role model to me before I read your story! Wow.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to share your story w/ my friend, just so she can hear the perspective from a child’s viewpoint.
Wow.
Lots to think about tonight.[/quote]
I certainly don’t mind you sharing the story. Thank you for the compliments 
blushing
It is amazing how moms really don’t realize sometimes the impact small comments can have on their kids in the long run. Prior to the first time she said something, I was as happy as I could be…I had never even thought about my own self image. I know she didn’t know the impact it would have on me. Then by basically killing my body at an early age, I’m still suffering physically from it. (My knees, my sensitive stomach, my wacky metabolism, etc).
So by all means, if you can prevent a similiar story than mine from forming, go right ahead and share.
[quote]Neya wrote:
The same thing happend to me with my body image (and my dad instead of my mom) when my metabolism crashed from eating only 1 meal a day though I gained weight… A LOT- I ballooned to 235lbs at about 17-18 (size 22) and I was eating barely nothing. I also had many stomach issues like SG mentioned and more. I was frequently sick, and slept alot (naps, 11 hour nights). Yeah I was a mess. A balanced diet & eating several times a day has been my “salvation”.[/quote]
Oh I hear you girl… I stayed sick. I almost didn’t graduate my SR year. My school was strict and even if you had 20 excused absenses…you couldn’t graduate. I had 19. I made up all of my work, I remained a straight A student… but nevertheless the last month or two I had to go to school a few times sick as a dog. I would take my free period + lunch and just sleep in the SR lounge.
After school I’d go home and take TONS of naps. Usually I’d get home around 3:30, and go to sleep from 5ish-9ish. Then go back to bed around 10. If I didn’t have my naps, I would get sick within a few days.
Given the age, howabout simply talking about what’s a healthy food and what isn’t?
I mean, guzzling down several cans of soda an afternoon with whatever other crap is going on, will not do anyone any good.
Howabout chips, chocolate bars, candy, soda, burgers, fries, cakes, cookies and other treats? How are things in this department?
It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but people don’t learn how to eat right out of the blue. At her age, she just consumes what everyone else consumes and doesn’t really worry about much other than what “tastes” good.
How is the family for promoting good eating? Is it one of these situations where kids get treats simply based on the time of day or event being done?
Assuming your input is going to be requested or accepted at all, you should be able to help with identifying alternatives and instilling a few good habits.
One of the biggest simple improvements is to replace sugar bomb drinks with something designed to combat thirst, not something design to spike insulin.
with kids it might just be as simple as not taking them to mc donalds, canceling cable, and not buying soda any more. at 9 everything is still controlled by the parents.