Overcoming Anxieties

Off Topic
61

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Rico Suave wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]02Thief wrote:
. [/quote]

feels like he is DYING or about to get his THROAT TORN OUT just going out of his comfort zone… . [/quote]

Eh???

Where did the the OP say this? you’re projecting and completely pulling this out of thin air.[/quote]

You are right, he did not state that… haha should have toned it down, but for some people thats how it feels at a certain point when they are in that state… intense feeling of doom when fight or flight hits out of nowhere, All I was saying is that for some people it can be quite a nightmare until they resolve it so we shouldn’t be saying anything that can come off messed up thats all… nothing to do in context with this thread then just how it can feel for certain people and that we should not be a jerk to people that are already doing their own thing to get better.

Of course without better description it can come across as total projection from my part… All I am saying is that it can be a very scary thing for some people and we don’t have to understand it, but just be nice is all. [/quote]

Everybody’s a tough guy when it’s somebody else’s weakness.

Of course all these “Man the fuck up!” types don’t have any shortcomings or “issues,” right?

They are all MEN, after all!

I guess empathy isn’t a “manly” trait.[/quote]

You’re right, Chushin. I may have jumped the gun with my recommendation.

On the other hand, I assume anyone who comes here (or any social internet forum for that matter) for their “professional” advice really doesn’t have a deep-seeded issue, and can take the “tough love” prescription many of us recommend.
[/quote]

I disagree as well. Do you know how many people who have committed suicide (albeit, thats a different can of worms) because they couldn’t open up to family, friends, psychiatrists? People turn to the internet because it is easier to express yourself. You would like to hope people take you somewhat serious, and don’t slander you with “You’re a fucking pussy, suck it up fag” comments. It’s actually really sad the lack of mental health knowledge on these boards. After all, we’re all T-men and we’re all so superior than everyone else…you think we’d know something about these issues that are in society.

And along with what the one poster has been saying (forget who, and I don’t want to go back to check lol), you really have no idea what the hell you’re talking about if you haven’t gone through something like this. If that’s the case, try to provide some CONSTRUCTIVE feedback instead of being a dickhead acting all macho. In the end, you’re just some guy/girl on the internet breaking people down. Congratulations, you’re an asshole.

Edit: the other poster was cstratton2
[/quote]

Thanks for calling me an asshole.

If you go back to the OP, the basis of his post was that of simple separation anxiety. In most cases, this is normal for a young person’s first time out, and in no way reflects some deeper mental/emotional issue. My “man up” recommendation was not insensitive.

I don’t have personal experience with mental/emotional issues, but I grew up with a mother who did. I’ve also shared a considerable chunk of time in my life with a terribly troubled (and sometimes institutionalized) brother-in-law who trusted no one but me at his darkest moments (even after shunning his own flesh & blood family). This has gone on since the mid 80s and only recently stopped.

So before you bash me for my seemingly flippant response to the OP, back down with your hyper-analysis of the OP and myself.[/quote]

I am sorry ID I was not saying anything of that like in terms of you’re response… I was making a statement of general public awareness completely out of context of this thread…

EDIT I guess that wasn’t in response to me, which makes this even more awkward… Oh well [/quote]

:slight_smile:

No problem. It was meant for Rico… although some sentiments being expressed here may not be the stance the poster had intended - especially when confronted with it by another.

I admit my own confusion on the direction some comments have been aimed.

62

[quote]Karado wrote:
“Dude, I don’t disagree that being an asshat makes it difficult to be truly happy in life, but some of the kindest, most loving and genuine people I know have real issues with anxiety.
No Faustian bargains, no overblown egos, no masks, no scams. Just an inexplicable inability to find a comfortable place in themselves and the world.”

Too predictable you were gonna go the other direction with that…Okay then, what’s the real
cause…the CAUSE.
Again, the “Universe”, Or God, or whatever the fuck ever does not PRE-PROGRAM in our
Brains some fucking “depression gene” IF the parents are healthy.

How about foods that cause anxieties and mess up your Brain…Flouride, Aspartame, etc.
there’s laundry list of that shit, so tell these loving, caring, smootching Angels of Mercy
to be extra careful what they feed their faces with then…Again, we are not PROGAMMED
in our heads with this at birth, there’s no proof aside from maybe a Pregnant Mother who smoked
or ate like utter shit while pregnant or something, which in that case just may cyclical
and endemic within the family…Older Fathers are common now as well, THAT ALONE
may cause depressive kids, sperm too aged…so it’s SOCIETY’S fault, in one way, or another.

What is it that makes society think when we can tempt fate and consume Chems, inhale
Mercury in Exhaust Fumes, etc. and not think for a moment it makes a great impact in our
lives, yet at the same time people scratch our heads and wonder why everybody’s fucked
in the head…as all these various emotional, and chemical, and bad lifestyle issues surround us everywhere.

If one Depressed it’s not because the body has a Xanax deficiency.

[/quote]

It’s “too predictable” because it’s a logical counter point to the line of reasoning you put forward. As for the rest of what you write in this post, I don’t really disagree with any of it. I don’t understand your argumentative, derisive tone, but I guess different people have different communication styles. It is, however a little difficult to pick out your real point in all this.

“Ego” is the root cause of suffering? Well, that’s probably accurate, but hardly earth- shattering news. That’s one of the common underpinnings in almost every widely practiced religion and system of thought. Just being aware of that fact is hardly liberating in and of itself. Until someone is at a place internally where they actually make use of that idea and do the work to change their way of seeing the world, it’s pretty much meaningless.

God, the Universe etc. does not program us for depression? Well, actually if there is in fact some supreme, omnipotent force that has any interest at all in human affairs (which I tend to believe), I would say it did quite possibly program us with a “depression gene”. It is from periods of depression and anxiety that most people begin serious inquiries into the nature of their existence and subsequent personal change and development. Happy people don’t worry too much about that shit, at least not initially. Unfortunately some people get stuck in a potentially life-long vicious circle in the depression/anxiety phase without moving on to the inquiry/change phase. Sometimes designs malfunction.

Meds aren’t the answer? Never suggested meds at all. Like I said, I generally agree with most of what you have written, but I don’t really see how it’s a response to anything I wrote. Your posts come across as more ranting than discussing. Of course, like I said, different people have different communication styles, I guess.

63

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Whenever I’m in a bad situation I think about Stalingrad. My dad got me into reading and he’s really into military history. When I was about 10 or so I read a book on Stalingrad. Nevermind Dante’s inferno, if you want to read about human suffering read up on the seige of Stalingrad. One thing that I remember vividly was after Paulus surrendered the Russians captured a German field hospital, found most of the german wounded dying of typhus. The pain killers had of course run out long before so there was nothing to alieviate their pain, and the lice were so bad one eye witness reported they were hanging off the wounded like bunches of grapes.

When I did a book report on this the teacher thought there was something seriously wrong with me.[/quote]

LOL, Actually at my worse time of suffering I wanted to know that someone could have made it through worse… I read Victor Frankls “Mans Seach for Meaning” It was about the holocaust and the author who was a psychologist time spent in the camps and dealing with unimaginable life or death circumstance… is a gritty, chilling reminder about how some things went down in history, I also don’t think anyone could have suffered more then they did in those camps…

Anyways the point being was that these people could survive something like that then why should I ever complain, and there is serious inner strength in that, all self pity went forever after that book… [/quote]

I haven’t read that one yet. I think that a good understanding of human history in general tends to cut down on self pity. When you realize how great we have it compaired to 99.9% of the rest of human existence, and how fragile and most likely not permanent our current state of relative peace and prosperity is, you tend to get more enjoyment out of the little things.

64

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Karado wrote:
“Dude, I don’t disagree that being an asshat makes it difficult to be truly happy in life, but some of the kindest, most loving and genuine people I know have real issues with anxiety.
No Faustian bargains, no overblown egos, no masks, no scams. Just an inexplicable inability to find a comfortable place in themselves and the world.”

Too predictable you were gonna go the other direction with that…Okay then, what’s the real
cause…the CAUSE.
Again, the “Universe”, Or God, or whatever the fuck ever does not PRE-PROGRAM in our
Brains some fucking “depression gene” IF the parents are healthy.

How about foods that cause anxieties and mess up your Brain…Flouride, Aspartame, etc.
there’s laundry list of that shit, so tell these loving, caring, smootching Angels of Mercy
to be extra careful what they feed their faces with then…Again, we are not PROGAMMED
in our heads with this at birth, there’s no proof aside from maybe a Pregnant Mother who smoked
or ate like utter shit while pregnant or something, which in that case just may cyclical
and endemic within the family…Older Fathers are common now as well, THAT ALONE
may cause depressive kids, sperm too aged…so it’s SOCIETY’S fault, in one way, or another.

What is it that makes society think when we can tempt fate and consume Chems, inhale
Mercury in Exhaust Fumes, etc. and not think for a moment it makes a great impact in our
lives, yet at the same time people scratch our heads and wonder why everybody’s fucked
in the head…as all these various emotional, and chemical, and bad lifestyle issues surround us everywhere.

If one Depressed it’s not because the body has a Xanax deficiency.

[/quote]

It’s “too predictable” because it’s a logical counter point to the line of reasoning you put forward. As for the rest of what you write in this post, I don’t really disagree with any of it. I don’t understand your argumentative, derisive tone, but I guess different people have different communication styles. It is, however a little difficult to pick out your real point in all this.

“Ego” is the root cause of suffering? Well, that’s probably accurate, but hardly earth- shattering news. That’s one of the common underpinnings in almost every widely practiced religion and system of thought. Just being aware of that fact is hardly liberating in and of itself. Until someone is at a place internally where they actually make use of that idea and do the work to change their way of seeing the world, it’s pretty much meaningless.

God, the Universe etc. does not program us for depression? Well, actually if there is in fact some supreme, omnipotent force that has any interest at all in human affairs (which I tend to believe), I would say it did quite possibly program us with a “depression gene”. It is from periods of depression and anxiety that most people begin serious inquiries into the nature of their existence and subsequent personal change and development. Happy people don’t worry too much about that shit, at least not initially. Unfortunately some people get stuck in a potentially life-long vicious circle in the depression/anxiety phase without moving on to the inquiry/change phase. Sometimes designs malfunction.

Meds aren’t the answer? Never suggested meds at all. Like I said, I generally agree with most of what you have written, but I don’t really see how it’s a response to anything I wrote. Your posts come across as more ranting than discussing. Of course, like I said, different people have different communication styles, I guess.

[/quote]

You both talk about ego and how it causes so much suffering and is the root of suffering… This is the central theme behind buddhism where Buddha called liberation the end of suffering… To be rid of the ego … There can be a long discussion on the merits of this and it can be quite an profound thing to see… But in truth of course its all rooted in the mind (Ego) The question is how to dissolve it, that is whats important… I used very psychological approaches to cure my anxiety before but if you can learn to just not resist anything and sit with any raw emotion fully without projecting psychological time or any form of pushing away or clinging, you can heal very quickly…

The best literature I have ever read on all of this and not in the terms of intellectual understanding but intuitive insight has been
Falling Into Grace: Insights on the End of Suffering - Adyashanti - Google Books Pretty much says everything thats needed without me having to write a novel response on this forum lol.

65

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Karado wrote:
“Dude, I don’t disagree that being an asshat makes it difficult to be truly happy in life, but some of the kindest, most loving and genuine people I know have real issues with anxiety.
No Faustian bargains, no overblown egos, no masks, no scams. Just an inexplicable inability to find a comfortable place in themselves and the world.”

Too predictable you were gonna go the other direction with that…Okay then, what’s the real
cause…the CAUSE.
Again, the “Universe”, Or God, or whatever the fuck ever does not PRE-PROGRAM in our
Brains some fucking “depression gene” IF the parents are healthy.

How about foods that cause anxieties and mess up your Brain…Flouride, Aspartame, etc.
there’s laundry list of that shit, so tell these loving, caring, smootching Angels of Mercy
to be extra careful what they feed their faces with then…Again, we are not PROGAMMED
in our heads with this at birth, there’s no proof aside from maybe a Pregnant Mother who smoked
or ate like utter shit while pregnant or something, which in that case just may cyclical
and endemic within the family…Older Fathers are common now as well, THAT ALONE
may cause depressive kids, sperm too aged…so it’s SOCIETY’S fault, in one way, or another.

What is it that makes society think when we can tempt fate and consume Chems, inhale
Mercury in Exhaust Fumes, etc. and not think for a moment it makes a great impact in our
lives, yet at the same time people scratch our heads and wonder why everybody’s fucked
in the head…as all these various emotional, and chemical, and bad lifestyle issues surround us everywhere.

If one Depressed it’s not because the body has a Xanax deficiency.

[/quote]

It’s “too predictable” because it’s a logical counter point to the line of reasoning you put forward. As for the rest of what you write in this post, I don’t really disagree with any of it. I don’t understand your argumentative, derisive tone, but I guess different people have different communication styles. It is, however a little difficult to pick out your real point in all this.

“Ego” is the root cause of suffering? Well, that’s probably accurate, but hardly earth- shattering news. That’s one of the common underpinnings in almost every widely practiced religion and system of thought. Just being aware of that fact is hardly liberating in and of itself. Until someone is at a place internally where they actually make use of that idea and do the work to change their way of seeing the world, it’s pretty much meaningless.

God, the Universe etc. does not program us for depression? Well, actually if there is in fact some supreme, omnipotent force that has any interest at all in human affairs (which I tend to believe), I would say it did quite possibly program us with a “depression gene”. It is from periods of depression and anxiety that most people begin serious inquiries into the nature of their existence and subsequent personal change and development. Happy people don’t worry too much about that shit, at least not initially. Unfortunately some people get stuck in a potentially life-long vicious circle in the depression/anxiety phase without moving on to the inquiry/change phase. Sometimes designs malfunction.

Meds aren’t the answer? Never suggested meds at all. Like I said, I generally agree with most of what you have written, but I don’t really see how it’s a response to anything I wrote. Your posts come across as more ranting than discussing. Of course, like I said, different people have different communication styles, I guess.

[/quote]

You both talk about ego and how it causes so much suffering and is the root of suffering… This is the central theme behind buddhism where Buddha called liberation the end of suffering… To be rid of the ego … There can be a long discussion on the merits of this and it can be quite an profound thing to see… But in truth of course its all rooted in the mind (Ego) The question is how to dissolve it, that is whats important… I used very psychological approaches to cure my anxiety before but if you can learn to just not resist anything and sit with any raw emotion fully without projecting psychological time or any form of pushing away or clinging, you can heal very quickly…

The best literature I have ever read on all of this and not in the terms of intellectual understanding but intuitive insight has been
Falling Into Grace: Insights on the End of Suffering - Adyashanti - Google Books Pretty much says everything thats needed without me having to write a novel response on this forum lol. [/quote]

Well, I wasn’t intending to talk about the ego directly. I only brought it up in response and I didn’t feel the need to split hairs about semantics. I agree that the mind consulting the mind about the mind is just a circle jerk. I have pretty mixed feelings about reading on/discussing this subject matter much at all for this reason. It usually doesn’t go anywhere, at best, and it turns into a trap at worst.