Would it be possible to shove your arm up a bear’s arse? If so people can distract it while someone goes in to do it. Once the arm is inside they can pull his lower intestines out…
Or at least give him a prostate massage.
Unless you’ve got Mike Ditka on your side, I’ll take the bear, and I’ll give you 3:1 odds. Once a couple of people get mauled, the crowd will disperse like a fart in a windstorm.
DB
[quote]GaMeOvEr305 wrote:
Would it be possible to shove your arm up a bear’s arse? If so people can distract it while someone goes in to do it. Once the arm is inside they can pull his lower intestines out…
Or at least give him a prostate massage.[/quote]
The bear would first laugh at this minor anal intrusion and then rip that persons arm off and ram it up their arse.
D
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/34056/Smokey_The_Bear_Gets_Shocked.html?autoplay+true
If a black bear can survive this, then imagine what a large grizzly could live through.
[quote]nuwayv wrote:
One hundered regular men? How about one Chuck Norris?[/quote]
http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_286210250.html
This guy wasn’t Chuck Norris, but he won anyway.
Beef
One 57 year old mother vs. a bear.
57 year old mother wins.
Big, scary monsters, those bears.
Beef
[quote]AlbertaBeef wrote:
One 57 year old mother vs. a bear.
57 year old mother wins.
Big, scary monsters, those bears.
Beef[/quote]
A female black bear is not exactly the same thing as a large male grizzly. The 57-year-old mother was about as big as the bear, according to the photo, plus she had a dog for backup. Likely the most pressing concern on the mother bear’s mind was getting her cubs away from the dog, and the human was not a high priority. Nice story, though.
Fuck all this shooting on bears. I want a bear that’s in on the fix, brother.
Kubo
Tracy Smothers is nuts.
Bumpiddy bump bump.
I did as I said I would.
Maybe this ridiculous thread will bring forth more laughter.
So the game plan is the men have to force their arms down the bear’s throat.
Humans: 1, Bear: a few dozen
The strongest man needs to throw the fattest heaviest man at the bears face.
If tht fails they are royally bear raped.
It’s been nearly a year since my last post in this thread, and to see it revived is tits. This pleases me.
only one man is required…brian boitano. he can use his magical fire breath. nuff said
What a delight to see one of the most ludicrous threads in T-Nation history revived after so long.
I still hold that even 100 unarmed men would be powerless against an adult grizzly or Alaskan brown, but here’s what one dude with a 12-inch knife was able to do.
[i]Bear buster had no choice
Hunter kills mother grizzly bear with knife as she charged and attacked
By DEREK LOGAN, SUN MEDIA
GRANDE PRAIRIE – A hunter who fought off and mortally wounded a charging grizzly bear last week said he had no chance to run and was forced to defend himself.
Chris McLellan, 32, was scouting locations for bow-hunting in a farmer’s oat field about 25 km southwest of Grande Prairie Aug. 15 when he ran into the mother grizzly with three cubs.
McLellan said the bear had been partially concealed by a knoll in the field and he didn’t see her until she stood up in front of him 60 yards away.
“I started to shake, man,” McLellan told Sun Media as he continues to recover from his injuries at an Edmonton hospital.
“I had a camouflage mask on so I took that off so that she could see that I was a human, thinking that would scare her away. I started waving my arms and screaming and it never fazed her. She just dropped down to all fours and charged.”
There was no room for choice, said McLellan, as the distance was too short and the bear would have run him down.
“She never slowed down,” he said.
“She never made a turn. She was attacking. There was no bluffing. She just stared into my eyes the whole time and you could just hear her coming, huffing and puffing across that field.”
McLellan had driven out to the field down Secondary Highway 666 before turning onto Range Road 73 and driving about four km.
He had only a digital camera and a hunting knife with 12-inch blade when he encountered the bear.
“I put my knife above my head and waited for her to hit me,” he said. “She just mowed into me like a football check.”
The grizzly rammed into his stomach and then grabbed his left arm with her jaws. As the two went down, McLellan plunged the knife into her back between the shoulder and neck.
The bear then bit him on his torso and his right arm but McLellan managed to stab her again twice in the neck.
The grizzly then turned and walked way, allowing McLellan to get up even though his left arm was now broken.
“I didn’t even look at her at all,” he said.
“I didn’t even know I had killed it until the following day.”
McLellan then met a farmer who called 911.[/i]
great story, cheers.
Read the encyclopedia dramatica article on bears… reminded me of this. Bump
[quote]grew7 wrote:
A slightly bigger than normal, angry, adult, male grizzly. Wherever the grizzlies naturally live, except it’s only the size of a football field. The people can be whoever you want, but no weapons. They have to fight this bear with their own selves. They may use the torn limbs of fallen friends as weapons against the bear.
I think you could get like ninety of them to surround the bear, then scare and confuse it while the rest split up. From the group of ten, two could work on poking its eyes out and then climbing on it wrap their legs around its neck to choke it, while the last eight people, hold down its legs. Two per leg.
Well?[/quote]
are some of those 100 people small and light enough to be used as clubs?
[quote]grew7 wrote:
[quote]S-Lifter wrote:
grew7 wrote:
A slightly bigger than normal, angry, adult, male grizzly. Wherever the grizzlies naturally live, except it’s only the size of a football field. The people can be whoever you want, but no weapons. They have to fight this bear with their own selves. They may use the torn limbs of fallen friends as weapons against the bear.
I think you could get like ninety of them to surround the bear, then scare and confuse it while the rest split up. From the group of ten, two could work on poking its eyes out and then climbing on it wrap their legs around its neck to choke it, while the last eight people, hold down its legs. Two per leg.
Well?
That’s at least 500 lbs worth of grizzly bear. My money is on the bear.
90 men won’t surround him for long when he charges. As for climbing on his back or neck, you can be first–something those assigned the task best think long and hard about.
[/quote]
We’ll go with the biggest of them, one that is around 1,500lbs.
Now… Why would the bear charge? Ninety people surrounding and him and flailing their arms loudly will scare it. Don’t animals stand still when they’re afraid? Like how dogs just sit in the middle of a road looking at the headlights of a car before getting hit.[/quote]
Not grizzly bears, hunters up in the North East when they shoot an animal they climb up in trees waiting to make sure those damn things don’t come and eat them as well as their kill. You confuse a grizzly it’ll likely just get pissed like a bull.
Check out this mental giant: