I wouldn’t screw her with Your dick. (point at somebody) or I wouldn’t screw her with (insert name here)’
s dick.
She could suck start a harley. (She’s a whore)
Ugly as a hat full of assholes.
Ugly as ten dicks.
Dead as dick’s hatband.
Dead as a doornail.
Face for radio.
She’s gotta face built for a hackamore.
Watertight as a frog’s ass.
If she has as many sticking out of her as she has had stuck in her, she would look like a porqupine.
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Is the Pope catholic?
If? You can “if” all day. If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass hoppin’.
Fuck her teeth loose. (personal fave of mine)
Fuck her flat-footed (Or can be use like has already been stated mosquitos so big could fuck a dog flat-footed)
Go pound sand up your ass. (Nice way of saying “Fuck off”)
Shitting through a screen door/ I could shit through a screen door. (Diahreah)
Knockin’ the bottom out of that boat. (Someone is already fucking her.)
Used in conversation- A kid I went to school with is already knocking the bottom outta that boat.
He’s as worthless as tits on a boar-hog.
He’s a limp dick/lame duck.
(Feeling sick)- I feel like I’ve been shot at and missed, and shit at and hit. Feel like I’ve been ate by a wolf and shit off a cliff.
Stove up- (Your body is sore, typically knees, back, hips, big joings, shoulders) I’m feelin a little stove-up today.
Wind is blowing like a two-headed queer.(Windy outside)
You can’t get blood out of a turnip. (Stating the obvious)
Run like a fucked/raped ape. (Truck runs really fast)
Run’s fast enough to cut a hole in the wind./ She’ll cut a hole in the wind. (Fast truck)
I wouldn’t give him the sweat off my balls if he was dying in the desert. (Hate somebody.)
Asshole deep to a tall commanche. (Used to describe an abundance of something.) (The trees down there are asshole deep to a tall commanche.)
Shittin’ in tall cotton. (Your better off than you were previously.) (He got himself a new truck, by god he’s shittin’ in tall cotton now, boys.)
Hotter than a two-dicked billy-goat. (It’s hot outside)
Hotter than a freshed fucked fox. Or hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire. (Too long for me to like, but my boss uses it occasionally.)
Got it made in the shade. (Same as Shitting in tall cotton.)
Tomcatting (Out chasing girls, trying to get laid)
Runs like a scalded dog. (Fast car.)
I don’t got no more hounds in the races. (I don’t care.)
He’s got a horse/hound in the race. (He cares what happens next.)
She’s so fat you’d have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Harder/Hotter than nine kinds of hell. (When something is particularly difficult. Or it’s hot outside.)
Swinging dick/Stag. (A male)
Stagging. (Going alone, w/o a date, going to social events alone.) I’m staggin’ it tonight.
Strike out. (To start out on a trip, usually traveling far away.) I’ll be strikin’ out tomorrow.
Cold as a welldiggers ass.