Off subject opinion question about appearances

Ok… when I turned 30 I took out my tongue ring, earrings, and my nipple ring. I did so cause I didn’t want to look like the bald guy with the pony tail trying to be hip. Was this totally unfounded; or do others agree/disagree on this. Should older people look/act their age or should I put the shit back in and f$%^ the world? I was also told I would never get a “nice” girl with all those piercings I had.

Why did you get all those gadgets? Why do/did you wear them? If the reasons haven’t changed, neither should you. BUT I must say that I think that most people who have all that stuff are following the herd, and the real individuals are the ones who resist the “I’m making a statement” trends. Hell, soccer moms are pierced and tattooed nowadays.

As far a getting a nice girl,if she is judging you just on the jewelry you wear, is she worth it?

Hey bro if you like it then why take it off. I have two loop earings since I was 18 years old. I am 33 now and still have them, they are a part of who I am. It would be different if at 30 you went and got all that shit just to fit in. That look your age thing is bullshit, who is too judge how you should or shouldn’t look. I personally don’t give a f–k what others think, I live my life my way, for me the T-man way. As for getting a nice girl, the jewerly don’t matter, I have dated bad and nice girls, the jewelry never came into the equation, at least none have ever said it did. Be true to you bro!

Sorry guys, but for the most part people are sheep. Even those of you who claim to not care what others think are still socialized to act and speak in accordance with what is deemed acceptable. There are even “rules” for deviating from the norm. For instance, what do you infer from a guy who wears one earring in his right ear? How many straight guys with peirced ears do this? My guess is not many. How about men who wear their hair long (as I do)? Ever seen one jack his hair up in a ponytail HIGH on his head, cheerleader style? Probably not. If a guy wears a ponytail (in America anyway), he wears it low. Yes, piercing and tattooing are “herd” behaviors, just like listening to popular music and wearing trendy clothes. It always amuses me when people say “I don’t care what otehrs think-I’m independant”. I usually respond “Really, how come you’re wearing clothes?”. The truth of the matter is that even those “free spirits” that apparently defy the norm are, in fact, quite predictable.

Ok little background I got my tongue peirced under a bridge by a hypodermic and a plyers I held myself no one did them then. Vixen; makes some very good points however, I have had these things way before they were even acceptable let alone trendy. I guess to answer your question about why I would have to say I have forgotten why I did. It was just a part of me. Funny thing is the tongue ring was the only one I kept around for any purpose however I have since been informed by several of my lady friends that I do not require that assistance so I would assume I do not. However some Vixen can be very self serving in their words/actions. I never have followed the crowd however I have found as you get older that the crowd you used to have fun with is no longer fun. Many are old fat and married. I am not I do my martial arts, dino training, weight lifting etc. Never had trouble getting women; not really “nice” women but women just the same. I have always gotten attractive women just not typically the type you would bring home to mommy. My friends kindly suggested that maybe it was what I was portraying in my appearance that may have attracted such prey. I guess I was just wondering if that had some credibility.

I’m 33 and my wife is 34. She constantly begging me to pierce my nipple. I have considered it but fear the pain; is it worse than an earring?

I don’t have an earring anymore (had both pierced in my hard-core Ozzy & Iron Maiden days). For some reason, nine years ago I simply stopped wearing the earrings. I didn’t feel as if I had outgrown them or something. It just wasn’t a priority anymore.

I still want a tattoo and do not feel i am following any crowds of sheep. If you want to idenify them groups as sheep then I would much rather follow a tattoo wearing group than a grey suit and soccer mom group. My wife has a tattoo on a chili pepper on her ass and I still think it’s the greatest thing in the world.

Furthermore, my wife and I admit we fallen on the highway of life and have the two kids, the dog, the mortgage and the Honda Accord. One night on the patio we decided we are getting rid of the Honda and plan to purchase a '66 Mustang that's just loaded with Testosterone. No, we are no going through a mid life crisis. Rather we have realized we don't have a life anyway and we are just going through the motions pretending we are satisfied. Next thing we are doing is to open a dance club with some intense music.

Bottom line:

Some things you just outgrow. But if you do it questioing if you’re appearance is age-specific then you are doing it for the wrong reason.

My advice, from an older perspective is be yourself, be comfortable with what you where, and how you look. Nothing turns woman off more than a fake (then I think of Clinton, yikes, there goes that argument!). As for the ponytail, I wear mine low, but have toyed with the idea of wearing it high, as my Samarai ancestors did.

Nice to hear from another long-hair. But I think there’s a difference between the Samurai and the cheerleader ponytail. If your wear it like a Samurai (as I used to when I did Kenpo) you’ll get some looks, but no one is going to question your sexuality. Especially if you’re carrying a sword at the time.

Be your own man bro! Hey, if they are a part of who you are, then don’t take them out because of your age or something like that. I have two earrings in each ear (silver hoops). I started out with one earring in ninth grade. Got a second one in 11th grade. Pierced my other ear in 12th grade, and finally got my fourth piercing last year (I’m now 26).

The only time it matters is on a job interview or if work prohibits them. When I first started my job after college (more than two years ago), I didn’t wear them to work because I’m in contact with many older, conservative people. Some days I forgot to take them out. Sometimes someone would say something, but it was no big deal. After my first year on the job, I said, “fuck it!” I’m going to wear them all the time. So now, I’m always wearing my earrings at work, to meetings, whenever and wherever. It’s a part of me and my style.

I have a goatee and crazy sideburns too. My boss might razz me a little bit every once in a while, but he’s cool about it. And no one has said anything about it (board members, volunteers, etc). They know that it’s just my style, and it fits me. And piercings don’t turn away “nice” girls. So don’t let it affect your decision. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the situation (job interview).

As one of those dreaded “older conservative people”, I say get rid of those silly accouterments and do the right thing and buy a '66 Mustang before you have a wife, 2 kids and a mortgage. I see 80 year olds having fun in their Mustangs but I never saw one with ring thru his licker before.

That is why I love this board no one is afraid to express their opinion. Keep em comming. Freedom, I would not be a good one to ask as I have an unbelieveable pain tolerance. So my doctor says anyway (he has stitched me more times than I can remember). I took a butterfly knife to the sac once (4 stitches)that was when he told me that. Cause I had walked into his office holding a wad of paper towels in my shorts so I would not bleed all over the floor. If I was to compare peirces as far as pain goes. Ears were nothing nose was something but not bad, tongue hurt for a second or two, nipple was the worst. The reason my nipple was the worst is the person who peirced me the first time (again this was before this was the norm) went in so deep under the nipple that it went through my fat tissue under the nipple. Two days later it ripped through my nipple that hurt. If it is done properly it is not bad at all this one was not done right. If done properly it will be sore for about 2 days and the sharp pain will only last about 4 minutes. However the nipple takes an extremely long time to heal.

I don’t have a clear answer in my mind to this statement, but it appears to MOSTLY be true. Just wanted to see what you guys thought…the feeling is that we will TEND to dress and act based OFTEN (not totally) on the type of person we wish to attract. So…if you like “cowboys and cowgirls”, you sure won’t dress “Hip-Hop”, drive a car with hydraulics and hang out in Urban clubs, but you’ll lean toward pick-up trucks, Levis and Country line dancing clubs. Being “you” actually becomes being “who you wish to attract”. In terms of the “rebel/bad boy plummage” of tatoos, piercings, etc., the “bad boy” has ALWAYS been some kind of strange aphrodisiac for a lot of women. And men are no different. You don’t go to the Annual Meeting of Evangelical Christian Women to pick up girls…you go to “Spring Break” (even though the former probably has a few more uptight sluts…I digress…). So…it goes back to something someone said earlier…what was you HONEST reason for dressing the way to did (or do)? VERY FEW of us, especailly when we were young, did it because “that was who I am”…(whatever that means) like it is somethng independedent of who we want people (especally the opposite sex) to THINK we are…any thoughts?

…I always do this!..the “who we are” post is from me!..Mufasa

BTW Freedom03032003 is it march 3, 2003 you get your gov’t issued ankle bracelet off or what?

Mufasa, what you’re describing is something I’ve studied in great detail (I’m a sociologist). It’s similar to Cooley’s concept of the “Looking Glass Self”, which is a sub-school of Symbolic Interactionism. Simply put, Cooley argued that we become the person that OTHERS expect us to be. When we are labeled “X” (whether the label is accurate or not) we tend gravitate towards become “X”, until we self identify as “X”. Labels, according to him, are a self fulfilling prophecy. Cool, huh?

Actually I will turn 35 years on March 3, 2003. It seemed symbolic with the 3/3/03. On that date I will retire from a regular routine job. Between now and then I plan to invest in a number of areas so that I will be able to live off of the income. I will also no longer work in the field of my own busines but instead hire others to do this and pay them well so that I can focus on sales, client lunches, and fun shit like that. No, I don’t anticipate being a millionaire by then but with the potential though. I was inspired by an Ian King article in which he wrote one should focus on making more money is lesser time so that one can spend quality time living instead of just working.

I figure life is too short and I want to travel the world unstead. I purchased a fixer-upper a few year back and have a mortgage of $639. I live modestly so that I can do these other things without being trapped by multiple expensive cars and a house too large.

A book I recommend is “the Millionaire Next Door.” It is about people who are millionaires and you would not even know it based upon their modest lifestyles. They contrast this with others, such as attorneys, etc, who have to maintain an image and have to have the big house, the expensive cars, and the $300 dinners. Basically the modest person will be able to “retire” one day whereas the attorney example will be working until they die to support their lifestyle. I have a brother who is a teacher and he works more hours than I do but makes less than I do. He is paying back student loans and has to go back to school in order to increase his pay. He likes the expensive life and refuses to drink a bottle of wine less than $10 (and he drinks at least a bottle a night). I wonder why he is broke every summer.

Regarding the Freedom part of the name, well, I’m sure you can understand that now. It is my belief that we are not truly free until we are financially independent. I expect much critisism of that opinion though. Fire away.

Good on ya Freedom!! Sounds to me like you got your life right.

I think it was pointless for you to take those things out, if there was no real reason. I mean, if you had a job that required you to act ‘professional’, it’s more understandable. Also, when you get these things, be prepared tobe judged based upon them, even though it isn’t fair. On your 30th b day you were only one day older than you were when you were 29 the day before, did you change that much overnight? BTW, my mom is 46, has a navel ring and I would mention how much she makes, but I don’t like to brag.

Ya ever notice how people who “don’t give a f— what others think” give a f— about whether YOU think they give a f— what others think?..

Ya ever notice that people who live their lives their own way and don’t give a f— what others think all seem to love to say “I don’t give a f—” or “I don’t give a s—” like these were code words for initiates in that secret society, The Great Herd of Independent Minds?..

Ya ever notice that these people are usually found in the company of likeminded people and live where Madison Avenue tells people to “Be your own dog,” or “Make your own path,” or “Have it your way,” etc. , ad nauseum?..

Ya ever notice that if a 130 pound newbie gained one milligram of new muscle every time someone on the t-mag forum claimed he didn’t "give a f—” or “give a s—” what others think, in six months the newbie’d bench 900 and squat 1600 for reps?..

Ya ever wonder why people who don’t give a f— what other people think frequent a website devoted to “looking good naked” and want to know how to get ripped in time for summer at the beach?..

Ya ever notice that people who REALLY don’t give a f— or s— about what other people think tend to be either in diapers or mental institutions (or both) because they tend to f— and s— (or both) just any ol’ place at any ol’ time, and that it’s probably kinduva good thing that very, very few people really don’t give a f— or s— what other people think?..

Ya ever notice that because it is normal and healthy to care what othes think, you should exercise wisdom in choosing your circle, making sure they will hold you to standards worth honoring?..

I would never change my clothes or appearance because I was worried about the way I appeared to someone else, and the comment about trying to follow the crowd by getting pierced. Sorry, but taking them out would be following the crowd. Just look around, 9 out of 10 people look like they are from an abercrombie and fitch commercial, thats sad, talk about following the crowd. Before you say I probably have everything pierced and tattooed, I don’t, but I have a lot of friends who are and they don’t put anyone down, but they are all individuals and don’t all look alike, like all the other people walking around the mall. Just look around next time, it’s like people in a cult walking around like zombies, trying not to upset to fashion gods.