[quote]LoRez wrote:
On a serious note, like most things in life, I’d say it’s worth finding a way to feel comfortable in that environment. You don’t have to absolutely love it, but figure out a way to have some amount of fun.
While the nature of the parties change somewhat, there is a whole lot of real work that gets done in the business world when alcohol is involved. Whether it be bonding with peers, chatting with customers, discussing office politics… if you’re not able to operate well in that environment, you’re at a disadvantage.
It’s also a great environment to people watch, and just build a better understanding of how people behave. All of the same base drives that show up when people are a little less inhibited are also there when they’re sober. You can learn a lot about human nature if you’re paying attention.[/quote]
Great advice and good point about the importance of getting comfortable in those types of social settings.
I am unsure of OP’s exact reasons for not wanting to drink. There are plenty of reasons not to, don’t get me wrong, but I doubt OP will be the type to go from healthy to having a few drinks here and there to LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.
If you don’t like to party, just find another social hobby. Hiking, biking, hunting, fishing, play rec league or intramural sports provide plenty of opportunities to socialize with people who share a similar hobby. Added benefit of, if you find a girl who shares your interest in a more physical hobby, it increases your chances of her being in good shape. Partying is way overrated. I used to hate it. I don’t like to dance and most of the people at these things grated on my nerves anyway.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Hiking, biking, hunting, fishing, play rec league or intramural sports provide plenty of opportunities to socialize with people who share a similar hobby. Added benefit of, if you find a girl who shares your interest in a more physical hobby, it increases your chances of her being in good shape. [/quote]
Agreed.
← met his girlfriend at a yoga studio.
← relies almost entirely on rec-league sports, yoga, biking, rock climbing for social interaction with others.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Hiking, biking, hunting, fishing, play rec league or intramural sports provide plenty of opportunities to socialize with people who share a similar hobby. Added benefit of, if you find a girl who shares your interest in a more physical hobby, it increases your chances of her being in good shape. [/quote]
Agreed.
← met his girlfriend at a yoga studio.
← relies almost entirely on rec-league sports, yoga, biking, rock climbing for social interaction with others.[/quote]
<-Met his wife at a party w/ the same look on her face as mine
<-Hunting, fishing, church league softball, local tennis club, gym, 3D archery constitutes all of my current social interaction
[quote]LoRez wrote:
This thread is pretty sad though. I feel like I need to invite some of my stripper friends over to party tonight, just to keep the universe balanced.[/quote]
You said in your first post that you?re interesting and funny and yet your ex said you were boring: I don?t think your social skills are as well developed as you seem to think they are. You need to learn to loosen up at the parties, with or without alcohol. Learn to smile, laugh and joke around because nobody wants to deal with some serious sober guy: the worst thing you can ever be is boring. I’d say to avoid the scene if you didn’t want to be a part of it, but it sounds like you want to be a part of it but your bodybuilding and lack of ability to fully open up at the parties is holding you back
Everyone here trains, everyone here gets the tradeoff you?re making when you drink. I avoid drinking; but sometimes you just need to do it and there?s nothing wrong with it. You can very, very easily go to a party every once in a while, not overdo it, have a couple/few drinks and loosen up and have a good time and if need be leave early so you can get up at a decent hour. As long as you can discipline and pace yourself there?s no reason your workout the next day should be negatively affected.
[quote]LoRez wrote:
On a serious note, like most things in life, I’d say it’s worth finding a way to feel comfortable in that environment. You don’t have to absolutely love it, but figure out a way to have some amount of fun.
While the nature of the parties change somewhat, there is a whole lot of real work that gets done in the business world when alcohol is involved. Whether it be bonding with peers, chatting with customers, discussing office politics… if you’re not able to operate well in that environment, you’re at a disadvantage.
It’s also a great environment to people watch, and just build a better understanding of how people behave. All of the same base drives that show up when people are a little less inhibited are also there when they’re sober. You can learn a lot about human nature if you’re paying attention.[/quote]
I don’t know about partying with co-workers because I only have a couple so when we drink together its like three guys getting a beer. But agree, you need to have some ability to get a few drinks around work relationships, customers, suppliers etc and parties might be good practice. But watch out for the young people do crazy shit parties.
Nope, just pointing out that not partying is not some death sentence to a social life. I rarely drink anymore, haven’t actually had a drink in a couple years and don’t really associate with many regular drinkers, if any. Saying you need to learn to drink is just a generally stupid statement for anyone to make. For the most part, if you require alcohol to enjoy yourself or to succeed socially that’s a pretty significant issue that needs to be addressed and shows a severe lack of depth in your personal life, despite what many would choose to believe.
[quote]comus3 wrote:
Is this some kind of new thing? wives and friends info?[/quote]
LOL. My point was just to illustrate to OP that if he wasn’t comfortable in a classic party environment, there are other ways to have enjoyable social interactions with people who share his interests, and he might find those more agreeable than going and standing along the wall at a party he doesn’t really want to be at anyway.
I spent my share of time in college at parties/bars where I just wanted to go home the whole time, but stayed just because I’d have felt like a loser for going home. Once I found other pursuits that satisfied my desire for social interaction with people I felt comfortable and/or happy around, I no longer felt that way.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Nope, just pointing out that not partying is not some death sentence to a social life. I rarely drink anymore, haven’t actually had a drink in a couple years and don’t really associate with many regular drinkers, if any. Saying you need to learn to drink is just a generally stupid statement for anyone to make. For the most part, if you require alcohol to enjoy yourself or to succeed socially that’s a pretty significant issue that needs to be addressed and shows a severe lack of depth in your personal life, despite what many would choose to believe. [/quote]
Maybe better phrasing is learn to be around people who drink and still be comfortable. And I like the wives/friends analysis thing. Makes you think.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Nope, just pointing out that not partying is not some death sentence to a social life. I rarely drink anymore, haven’t actually had a drink in a couple years and don’t really associate with many regular drinkers, if any. Saying you need to learn to drink is just a generally stupid statement for anyone to make. For the most part, if you require alcohol to enjoy yourself or to succeed socially that’s a pretty significant issue that needs to be addressed and shows a severe lack of depth in your personal life, despite what many would choose to believe. [/quote]
Maybe better phrasing is learn to be around people who drink and still be comfortable. And I like the wives/friends analysis thing. Makes you think.
Oh and you are stupid![/quote]
Yeah, I almost deleted it, cause I was kind of being a over sensitive horses ass. My bad.
[quote]comus3 wrote:
Is this some kind of new thing? wives and friends info?[/quote]
LOL. My point was just to illustrate to OP that if he wasn’t comfortable in a classic party environment, there are other ways to have enjoyable social interactions with people who share his interests, and he might find those more agreeable than going and standing along the wall at a party he doesn’t really want to be at anyway.
I spent my share of time in college at parties/bars where I just wanted to go home the whole time, but stayed just because I’d have felt like a loser for going home. Once I found other pursuits that satisfied my desire for social interaction with people I felt comfortable and/or happy around, I no longer felt that way.[/quote]
Agree, If I had it to do over, I’d drink about half the beer I’ve actually consumed. The just sitting around and having 6 beers without a purpose is like “what’s the point” particularly as it was usually Bud.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Nope, just pointing out that not partying is not some death sentence to a social life. I rarely drink anymore, haven’t actually had a drink in a couple years and don’t really associate with many regular drinkers, if any. Saying you need to learn to drink is just a generally stupid statement for anyone to make. For the most part, if you require alcohol to enjoy yourself or to succeed socially that’s a pretty significant issue that needs to be addressed and shows a severe lack of depth in your personal life, despite what many would choose to believe. [/quote]
Maybe better phrasing is learn to be around people who drink and still be comfortable. And I like the wives/friends analysis thing. Makes you think.
Oh and you are stupid![/quote]
Yeah, I almost deleted it, cause I was kind of being a over sensitive horses ass. My bad.
[/quote]
HA! My flame war was extinguished before it could blow hot! Just messing with you with that
[quote]comus3 wrote:
Is this some kind of new thing? wives and friends info?[/quote]
LOL. My point was just to illustrate to OP that if he wasn’t comfortable in a classic party environment, there are other ways to have enjoyable social interactions with people who share his interests, and he might find those more agreeable than going and standing along the wall at a party he doesn’t really want to be at anyway.
I spent my share of time in college at parties/bars where I just wanted to go home the whole time, but stayed just because I’d have felt like a loser for going home. Once I found other pursuits that satisfied my desire for social interaction with people I felt comfortable and/or happy around, I no longer felt that way.[/quote]
Agree, If I had it to do over, I’d drink about half the beer I’ve actually consumed. The just sitting around and having 6 beers without a purpose is like “what’s the point” particularly as it was usually Bud.
[/quote]
Much like many of the folk here, I’ve learned that I’d rather enjoy one or two good whiskeys on the rocks, or two good dark stouts, than a dozen beer-flavored waters.
You’re not Jay Cutler dieting for the mister Olympia OP.
Train like a maniac 6 days of the week and let loose on the weekend. You can be strategic with your nights out and still be in good shape.
I’m jacked as fuck and I drink like a fish every Saturday night. Avoid the beer and stick to vodkas and lemonade. Have a healthy snack and tons of water ready for when you get home, don’t eat the shit being served in the AM hours.