Nordic Blood: Climbing And Lifting / Lifting And Climbing

[Voxel]

Nuts tho

[Koestrizer]

It’s not like I have anything in the realms of actual advice, cause frankly it’s hard to judge a situation like this from the outside and in this case there is no obvious “black and white”. Well and evidence suggests that I suck at relationships.

@Voxel

As much as I hate to admit it, I wouldn’t just be insecure. I’d be resentful too. Of them, their fickleness.

It is completely justified to feel that way.

It’s one thing to work through a rough patch together and go “there is something in our relationship that doesn’t work and we need to change it” but another to be presented with an absolute, which when taken back creates a huge amount of uncertainty.
It doesn’t sound like this is the case with your partner but some people use this kind of behavior to create emotional dependency and generate power over the other (who know has to constantly worry about being left again), sort of as a leverage.

@Voxel

I generally struggle with putting my own needs first

@Voxel

I inevitably (whether or not this is “rightfully”) feel responsible for how sad I make the other. And I hate causing others harm, as it harms me.

Tracks with the image I have of you. Don’t know if it makes you feel better or not but she made a choice, not you. Of course she would be feeling sad if you didn’t accept her “take back” but you didn’t initiate this. It’d be the consequence of her own behavior.

@Voxel

Anyhow, I feel pissed off and sad

Relatable. Fuck yes for the win in eating btw. Much more damaging strategies out there than to go with a bag of candy and a workout.

Is it an option to stall the decision for a while? To part ways for a week or two and see how that makes you both feel?

[dagill2]

I liked the post, not because I liked the content, but because I admire the bravery it takes to be so open on an anonymous, open internet forum that literally has Testosterone in the title.

If you’d like any input from myself on the issue itself by the way, you’re more than welcome to it, either here or by email.

I sometimes wish I had a cool hobby like tea or something like that but I drink tea in a Sports Direct mug with milk.

[anna_5588]

I’m sorry about your relationship struggles

I really admire your ability not to take things personally. You’re a great human

[aldebaran]

@Voxel

Curiously, my intimacy issues is that I have a hard time saying “no” even when I want to

I feel you brother and your whole text. I’m exactly like you and would feel like you… Yet you show admirable maturity.

There’s a big poster here, I don’t remember who, his wife said she wasn’t sure about the relationship, he said okay, take your shit and go. She came back crying the next day and they’ve been together for years since.

Point is, people make mistakes. Of course I don’t know anything about your situation, but I think I agree with @Koestrizer to let a week pass maybe… You know what they say about guys, “if you fap and you still want to be with her then do it” ahah

@Voxel

A. Military press overcoming iso 3x6s

They never worked for me…

[Koestrizer]

@aldebaran

You know what they say about guys, “if you fap and you still want to be with her then do it” ahah

That was certainly not what I was talking about.

[aldebaran]

No of course lol but I mean sometimes we do impulsive decisions, but letting some time to figure if this is not a immediate signal from the brain lacking company or the body lacking proximity (for her in this case) might be a good thing

[anna_5588]

@aldebaran

You know what they say about guys, “if you fap and you still want to be with her then do it”

I hope this isn’t true. If it is, that explains the “anti- friend zone”

[aldebaran]

What’s the “anti-friendzone”?

[anna_5588]

when women keep using a guy for flings even though he might want a serious relationship

The Anti-Friend Zone

So I’ve had some in-depth discussions lately with my closest guy friends, particularly focused on the friendzone phenomenon. Turns out it’s a completely foreign concept to me, and I was actually kind of baffled by it. It’s never happened to me in my life. In a weird way, I kind of wish it would after hearing them describe it. What I’ve dealt with I guess I’m gonna call anti-friendzone for lack of a better term. Basically it means that the biggest barrier I face with women is they see me str…

[mr.v3lv3t]

@Voxel

And when making that decision, to stay the current course, I inevitably (whether or not this is “rightfully”) feel responsible for how sad I make the other. And I hate causing others harm, as it harms me.

I’m sure you realize that had you opted to revive the relationship, the feelings of insecurity and resent could ultimately lead to causing another harm anyway. Kind of leads to a hurt now vs. hurt later scenario, the latter of which I think would be more damaging. It’s hard no doubt, but making immediate sacrifices for the greater long-term good can keep the mind healthy IMO.

@anna_5588

“anti- friend zone”

Anna given that you’ve expressed the notion that discussions on this forum regarding relationships and interactions with the opposite sex are educational for you, I’d chalk that thread up as rooted mostly in fantasy.

[anna_5588]

@mr.v3lv3t

I’d chalk that thread up as rooted mostly in fantasy.

Good to know. Thanks!

[Voxel]

@Koestrizer

It’s not like I have anything in the realms of actual advice, cause frankly it’s hard to judge a situation like this from the outside and in this case there is no obvious “black and white”

That’s fine. I appreciate your thoughts, regardless of it being advice or not.

@Koestrizer

I suck at relationships

If you ever need to talk about this you know how to reach me

@Koestrizer

It’s one thing to work through a rough patch together and go “there is something in our relationship that doesn’t work and we need to change it” but another to be presented with an absolute, which when taken back creates a huge amount of uncertainty.
It doesn’t sound like this is the case with your partner but some people use this kind of behavior to create emotional dependency and generate power over the other (who know has to constantly worry about being left again), sort of as a leverage

I’m confident she wasn’t being manipulative.

I believe our generation is semi-plagued, and following one’s undoubtedly plagued, by not having grown up in an environment where broken things are repaired, fixed, or at least held together with duct tape and that has implications for how broken things are treated.

I’m all for repairing in a general sense, but this was very early in a relationship. To revisit the analogy of repairs, if a radio never produced a tune you don’t know that it even is able.

@Koestrizer

Tracks with the image I have of you. Don’t know if it makes you feel better or not but she made a choice, not you

It does, I appreciate the emphasis.

@Koestrizer

Fuck yes for the win in eating btw

Still mentally celebrating this!

@Koestrizer

Is it an option to stall the decision for a while? To part ways for a week or two and see how that makes you both feel?

I don’t feel that way. I offered that ad an alternative on the day the discussions began, and it was subsequently tabled for fifteen minutes before it was revisited. I knew then what the end destination of that day would be.

[Voxel]

Haha, your thoughts are always welcome. Whatever medium you use is up to you.

As far as being brave. I write these texts outside the forum first. I’ve fallen into the habit as using writing as a means of therapy. Some aren’t ever published anywhere. I post, not in need of affirmation, solace, or conflict but because I hope I can learn something further about the topic, or my own thoughts and feelings by how others respond.

Without writing, I’m just feeling. And stewing in emotions does nothing for me.

[Voxel]

@anna_5588

You’re a great human

Fantastic compliment. Much love!

[Koestrizer]

You’re a pretty impressive dude.

@Voxel

If you ever need to talk about this you know how to reach me

Also I could actually use some help here. Didn’t want to bother you because you haven’t had a chance to answer to my last email and I didn’t want to spam you.

[Voxel]

@aldebaran

Point is, people make mistakes

They do, but sometimes mistakes are not ignored by sheer virtue of having been a mistake.

@aldebaran

@Voxel

A. Military press overcoming iso 3x6s

They never worked for me

Weren’t great for me either. A push press would be better.

[Voxel]

@Koestrizer

Also I could actually use some help here. Didn’t want to bother you because you haven’t had a chance to answer to my last email and I didn’t want to spam you.

I maybe forgot… I’ll review tomorrow but write me your thoughts!

[Koestrizer]

No pressure mate, it’s neither a live chat, nor an obligation

[anna_5588]

I really mean it