New Girlfriend & Number of Partners

Off Topic
283

Well… Not really

She’s quite literally (not figuratively) a genius. When I saw genius I mean… Albert Einstein level smart. 100x smarter than I could ever hope to be… I’m considered to be the “smart one” out of my friend group. Not trying to sound cocky, it is a general statement regularly talked about amongst my group.

I can almost guarantee she would find my friends boring.

She would NOT have fun hanging out with my friends. There is no conduct amongst my friends that she would have an issue. She would probably just find them boring. Smoking pot and drinking alcohol (not simultaneously) is probably the worst thing my friend group partakes in… Whether you call that despicable/morally objectionable… depends. It’s a group of young adults in their early 20’s, I wouldn’t exactly call this an uncommon scenario.

It’s very common here, and it’s a lot of fun provided you have a day free with nothing to worry about

I am potentially judging a book by it’s cover, which is unfair of me

She actually is a really, REALLY amazing young woman. If I knew she wouldn’t reject me I’d 100% go for it.

But I imagine someone who has say… never seen a movie akin to SAW would be a little bit freaked out when they see the movies I like to watch. For someone who has probably never really heard metal, can’t imagine they’d be psyched when my car turns on and cattle decapitation roars from my phone etc.

I like the fact that she’s smarter than I am. I can talk to her about various interpersonal dynamics (high emotional intelligence), sociopolitical hot takes/topics, geopolitical affairs etc and she will actually know what I’m talking about. But she’s only 18… Not sure if it’s appropriate (i’m 22). In theory it shouldn’t matter considering she is unlike any other 18 y.o i’ve ever met

She’s about to graduate from college. But it’s true… I don’t want to introduce her to my world

If my friends are going to smoke and drink from time to time, I don’t want to take someone who has never been around anything like that before… and put them in that environment… imo I would consider that morally objectionable on my part. Then there’s the music, the movies I watch, my overtly pessimistic outlook, my shortcomings (if things became serious I can’t have kids, my long term prognosis from a physical health pov is poor etc).

I don’t think someone like me should be in a relationship considering I likely can’t provide what a man should be able to provide… kids being the big one… I’ve always thought about that

284

Why would you hang out with your friends when you’re with your girlfriend?

285

She’s not my girlfriend

Just someone who my folks want me to pursue.

She does seem like a nice girl, I’m just not sure if it’d be a compatible relationship

286

So, what happened, op? Are you still hung up on her being so promiscuous, with that outrageous bodycount of 3?
If you are, that will not change. Drop her.

I used to have a girlfriend whom I loved, she was perfect in every way. We had the deepest conversations, her body was a 10, she performed the best fellatio, she was beautiful…

But she had a mole on her face, a big one. It was a huge issue for me. As big as the mole. Everyone told me to get over it, but I just couldn’t.
I was listening to Motorhead all the time, and it wasn’t healthy.

Best if you drop her, op. You’ll be better off.
Try to find some woman who has never been touched. Just don’t go blowing yourself up in a bus in Tel Aviv or something, that shit’s a pyramid scheme - they’ll just give you 72 sluts.

1 Like
287

I don’t know. Spend eternity with 72 virgins or 72 sluts? I think the sluts will be more fun.

4 Likes
288

On the flipside, a super sweet girl and a guy who’s “less innocent” is an awesome relationship dynamic. It’s used in media all the time for a reason, and it’s the style my wife and I have.

I say give it a try at least. A super innocent girl like that might be the best thing to lift your spirits.

because I don’t want to be that one person who introduces her to metal concerts, horror films, I’ll never introduce someone to pot (or alcohol for that matter)… I’m friends with her now as opposed to pursuing anything.

I was the one who introduced my wife to the “less innocent” aspects of life and fun, and it’s honeslty priceless. Don’t miss this chance! Haha.

2 Likes
289

I agree, but the 72 virgins wouldn’t be virgins for long.

Unless they all looked like Lizzo.

290

I don’t know if the Koran guarantees that part.

Heaven couldn’t support that much weight.

3 Likes
291

Agreed

1 Like
292

Heaven is fat phobic.

293

So every time she gave you fellatio… you thought about Lemmy?

Actually

Its 72 guys with REALLY big schlongs waiting at hells door

I’ve never understood the 72 virgins rhetoric.

If heaven is a byproduct of the afterlife. Not many die virgins, those who do are typically very young.

72 pre pubescent or adolescent women greet you at heavens door… yikes!

294

I felt as if I were being killed by death.

After giving this matter some thinking, I came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t give it any thinking at all, for it is, in all likelihood, an almighty bullshit.

God would not do such thing.

Although… he did write “Jailbait”.

295

Let it go. Enjoy her company.

296

Hello everyone, I see a few people wonder if we are still together and the answer is yes. We are doing fine, still enjoying each others company just about every day.

I’d be lying if I said I’m completely over it. I don’t think it’s something that I’ll ever really be good with but in reality 3 seems to be a very standard number. I’m sure some woman are less and I’m sure some are more.

I have done a little more investigating with her friends, just asking different questions to different friends and the answers I get all seem to line up with what she has told me. I can’t imagine all her friends and even her brother (yeah, I have done some subtle questioning of him) have made an attempt to lie to me.
“Trust but verify”

Anyway some of you will think I’m a dirtbag for caring and some will understand. If I’m going to be in a serious relationship with someone I want to know them 100% with zero bullshit or lies by omission. I am an open book for her and want the same in return. Our paths will either continue to run parallel or they will split.

2 Likes
297

Glad you are together. I’m not sure body count should be a big deal but at least you are dealing with a ridiculously low number, lol.

Asking her friends and checking her answers might be creepy though. And your admission that you will never be good with it is a good sign that your paths will diverge.

Have you told her that you background checked her? Asked her friends, interrogated her brother because you don’t believe her. Are you truly an open book?

It’d be best if you just cut the cord now rather than waste this wonderful girl’s time.

Just my take as an old man.

I think you might be better going to counselling to see what your issue is - betrayal? Abandonment?

If you don’t get it worked out, you will just continue to repeat this trauma.

Best of luck!

3 Likes
298

I guess congrats on still being together? Really fuckin’ sucky of you to interrogate her friends and family though.

I mean, her number wouldn’t fret 99.9% of us but we have all felt similar emotions in different areas of life. Jealousy, insecurity, and uncertainty can eat all kinds of people up. How you manage those things is what makes you a dirtbag or not. If you’ve made the choice to stay with this woman despite believing it is something you will never get over with then you have to make rigid promises to yourself that you will never treat her poorly because of your stupid head. These thoughts bothering you more on a particular day is not a reason to be short with her or irritable, it is not an excuse to disrespect her in any way. If you ever think you’ve done that or potentially could in the future, then get therapy right now or leave her and stop wasting her time. If you acknowledge that you will continue to hold this against her and treat her differently because of it then staying with her makes you abusive. Just like you, she is too a human with emotions. Plain and simple.

2 Likes
299

Trust really doesn’t have much of a place in this scenario. Its like a sad puppy with its nose pressed against the window. In the rain. At night. And you’re behind it with a knife.

What kind of dippy shit are you going to pull when you really have to trust her with like, running your home, child rearing, money management and/or if work pulls you away from home for extended periods/repeatedly?

3 Likes
300

So do you trust her or not? That’s on you, especially after playing Inquisition with her friends and family.

301

I was going to say the same thing. No matter how “good” things are, if he’s fully admitting that he will never get over this (this could be applied to any other issue within any relationship), it doesn’t seem likely that things are going to be healthy/successful.

1 Like
302

This is SO creepy. This is the one-way route from harmless weirdness to disaster: paranoid possessive male, controlling behavior, domestic abuse and violence, tragic outcomes and jail time.

It’s like when you read how serial killers started out with animal cruelty and just kept escalating…