So being “young and not really knowing what you want” is a good excuse for you to not get lost in the love story thinking that it will last forever, therefore insulting her by calling her your “current”, but it’s not an excuse for her fooling around with a couple of dudes before you?
Asshole. I hope she leaves you before you have a chance to leave her. There are two people in this story and you’re making it all about you. She deserves better.
Your not understanding why I said current in the first place. I do not say current girlfriend in daily life. I said it here for those people who comment on our age and say we don’t know what we want and will most likely not end up together. (I believe we will)
I do not think of her as current gf. I think that’s part of the reason I am having this issue. If I saw her as current gf and intended to move on I would not concern myself with her past and I have never been concerned with other woman’s past as they were temporarily in my life. Her past would not be my concern.
But I do see her a partner and do have a concern about her past because I would like her to be part of my life. Hopefully that clears up the “current “ comment.
what did she do in her past that has you so concerned that it may affect being part of your life
She is.
Why are you trying to appease people with how you define or describe your girlfriend? Is this why you struggle with thoughts of your girlfriend with other men before you, because people might think she’s a slut and not yours and only yours if they were to know?
Do you expect to find someone else with fewer partners?
The fact is right now she’s picked you and continues to pick you every day. I feel apprehensive talking about this anymore because it’s become ridiculous. I can empathize with feeling a certain way thinking about someone your falling for being with other people, but at some point you gotta be a realist and grow up.
Yup, That pretty much sums it up.
3 prior sexual partners. That’s what the freak out is over.
Get over it or dump her
How many did you have?
That’s it? That’s nothing.
I have a friend who told me her biggest shame is that she slept with around 50 guys (she’s 23).
Now she’s happy in a relationship. I don’t know if she revealed this info to her guy, probably not, but so what? She doesn’t deserve happiness?
No, you really are.
I hope your girlfriend finds this thread and comes to realize that not all men are assholes, but that you are.
For her sake I hope she dumps your ass. You have the emotional hang ups of a 13 year old and from everything displayed here the maturity of one too.
To quickly forget about dudes like you.
@Fuchsfox911 sorry for the misunderstanding for the use of the word “current.”
You might want to tune out from trite and sometimes destructive cues and advice of people in the current day. Some examples are:
“What’s the rush?”
“You have time.”
“You’re still young,” usually coupled with something even more asinine, “You don’t know what you want.”
While it is true that some young airheads don’t know what they want, assuming all young people don’t know what they want is silly. Of course you don’t have to marry this or any woman quickly, there are older men out there who’ve cried (literally) because they didn’t propose to women who wanted marriage, only never to meet an appropriate match ever again.
As I said before, I do think number or sex is important in assessing a potential mate, she provided you with an explanation think is acceptable. So where’s the problem? The number is not outrageous, though as I said earlier, what would alarm me is three boyfriends in three years.
With your acceptance of her number, why not just move on and focus on why you like (maybe love at this point) and respect her and what makes her a good woman?
Think about it. Let’s say you marry her. Would this number matter in the end?
I don’t think you’re an a—hole considering I don’t know you at all except for this hangup of yours. But for whatever reason you’re hung up on this.
Dude, I’m pretty sure you’ve slept with more than 3 people. I slept with 3 people by the time I was 17. What is she, 22?
While I’m not a huge fan of judging somebody’s character by their “body count”, many 22-year-old women have surpassed double digits.
I’m not gonna jump on the roast-wagon here, but if you’re ready to leave her over this, you’re not going to find anybody else who meets your impossibly high and ridiculously arbitrary standards.
In fact, her ONLY having slept with 3 people when she’s almost certainly had the opportunity to sleep with more guys tells a positive story about her character. She’s taking you seriously if she’s willing to add you to her list.
It’s not impossible for him to find a virgin.
If finding a virgin is important to him, then so should maintaining his own virginity have been.
His blind hypocrisy is what wrinkles the noses of the people in this thread.
Yes, the hypocrisy is apparent, including to me. But the possibility of finding a virgin is available to him.
Though he hasn’t expressed this, he might be at a point in whichhe too practices sexual restraint despite his “lay count”.
Yes!
I know so many (like, sooo many) dudes who want a virgin or at the very least only 1-2 partners prior to them, but they have zero such qualms about themselves. They don’t seem to consider that the type of woman they’re looking for wouldn’t have the same preference for her future man.
Same with looks. Whole threads on here have been filled with dismay over the “bottom 50% of women” wanting the “top 10% of men,” like 99% men wouldn’t leap at the chance to get a woman who is out of their league physically. I hear fat, bald 40-year old men complain that beautiful actresses’ “cans” are quite big enough or that their noses are a little off center. ‘Cause yeah, you’re a real looker, buddy.
This whole thread is so goddamn silly I’m going to resort to quoting The Spice Girls:
“You can have my future, but not my past.”
All this insecurity stinks of incel culture. You just control your own genitals and stop worrying about what others do with theirs.
Awesome to see that you can look back at your mistakes and make yourself a better man! Too many people can’t. If you are this worried about her and what she’s done then she is obviously worth worrying about. If you meet a great girl, make the most of being with them for who they are now and quit worrying about mistakes they may have made in the past, just like she would do for you if she really likes you. I personally believe in only looking back to sort out my own mistakes, digging up old shit on other people just takes too much energy, far easier to take them at face value. Saying that, maybe check if she’s a serial killer? That sometimes causes issues in relationships…