Needs space? Does he want a u.f.o?

I’d like some feedback on what it means if a guy who is in love tells you he needs space. maybe some guy insight on this would help because i guess the wool was pulled over my eyes until the sig dropped a big bomb. and i’m not mad that he did it, just quite puzzled, and puzzled about how i feel right now too. gimme some info, please?

Lia, this means you and I should get together for some drinks and some crazy sex at my place. Once he realizes that you’ve used this time to garner some “space” of your own, he may realize what a jackass he is and never do it again.

Usually, when a guy needs space it’s either because he is having problems committing in the relationship, or he wants some time to see if anyone else is a potential prospect. Remember, guys don’t want to settle down if they think there may be someone else out there for them. It’s the fear that once he is with you, he may never hook up with someone else that he may be more attracted too (for whatever reason).

So like I said, hook up with ole Nate Dogg. Besides, I’d treat you real good, and you wouldn’t care how much space he needed because you wouldn’t want him to come back anyway! :wink:

Maybe I’m not the best one to answer this, but I would probably only say this as a way to “gently pull away” into a break up. But that’s just me. It might just mean that he needs to think some things through, and feels that you’re clouding his thinking. Any one else?

It means just the same thing as the usual female LJBF (Let’s Just Be Friends) or YTGFM (You’re Too Good For Me) bullshit. It seems that some men started getting lessons from females when it comes to bullshitting members of the opposite sex.

It means space without you in it. He’s done with you and wants to be single or with someone else.

Lia, unfortunately you won’t know what he wants until he tells you. Every response to your question so far has been potentially valid, but then again maybe he’s scared because he’s bat-shit crazy in love with you. You won’t know until he wants you too. Patience will serve you well here. Just don’t get jerked around.

I gotta agree with Demo Dick. You’re asking all the wrong people. Ask your boyfriend.

Don’t bother applying chick logic to it. If he has told you he wants space he either

  1. want you to go away

  2. wants you go go away and come back on a regular basis, instead of being in his grill 24 7.

Lots of good responses, also, you might be taking up too much of his time (real love needs time to develop, too frequent phone calls, come overs, and such, can cause stress and make the times not enjoyable enough, thus the need for “space”.)

Yeah maybe you’re going too fast for him & he needs time to breathe. He might be afraid that you’ll find out about all his insecurities & think ‘geez he’s right, what am I doing with this guy?’. I read that’s sometimes why a guy & a girl do it & the girl never sees the guy again.

Lia, there are a number of possibilities. Again, it’s best you ask (without asking if any of these are true; don’t give him an easy out, make him come up with his own excuse), but it could be that: he could be scared that if you really get to know him you will reject him; he may fear that if he falls for you other areas of his life (professional, school, other friendships,etc.) will suffer; harsh as this may sound, he may want time away from you to check out other women (many people look to find the “best” partner they can before committing). One more question to consider, Lia, is why do you want to commit to a man who is obviously at least ambivalent about committing to you?

Tell him you were thinking the exact same thing. If that doesnt get him then you need to break up cause he doesnt really care.

Lia, Lots of information is missing from this. Like what kind of relationship do you have. Did it start as friends, immediate lovers, eye across a crowded room you know that kind of stuff. What has been talked about so far. Is he the jealous type. Has he acused you of being unfaithful. Does he spend a lot of time on his appearance… You know questions like that that can reveal phychological profile. Does he look you in the eye when he spoke of time off. Did his eyes roll down and left or up and right. Is he left handed or right. That kind of stuff will help you get to th bottem of shit real fast. It is a skill and a curse so if you decide to hone that skill beware I warned you most people are best left a mystery.

…or he may just wants some space…and that’s it. no hidden meaning. no hidden agenda or “secret message”. there are times when i need my space (time alone) from my wife because that’s just how i am. maybe i have had a bad day and i am sorting thingfs out in my head and don’t want or need interaction with her. most guys are like this to a certain degree. we generally turn inward to deal with our problems and what not. before we got married there were times when i simply just didn’t want her to come over because i wanted some quiet time alone to get right with myself. she would get all paranoid while trying to figure what i was “saying” by this. it turn out she was just insecure.

this may sound a bit “gay”, but do yourself a favor and buy the book “men are from mars and women are from venus”. i did. it was THE best read i ever had. learn what makes we humans tick and how men and women instinctively look at the world differently. read it together and use the info just as you would a good berardi article and you can’t go wrong. all the best. kevo

ok to answer questions, he’s pretty straightforward, no hidden agenda. i think he might be just freaking about how he feels, but may not realize it. i don’t think that there are other women in the pic at this time, but even the prospect of having them there i understand is tempting.

Lia, all you need is me! Forget him! This Dogg will treat you well. And I won’t pull the wool over your eyes and give you the “I need space” routine. By the way, have you talked to him and asked him what’s up or why he needs space? It’s best to know than to speculate on the many, many possible reasons. :wink:

Boy that Dogg is tenacious isn’t he? But watch out Lia, he likely will have you wearing Arabian Goggles in short order. Best to just ask your guy what gives.

Sorry to say but, you have been seriously LIED to. That was just a crock of shit to let you go with minimal problems. Let it go and find someone real. Move on and don’t ever give him another chance.

Okay, I gotta know: what the hell are Arabian goggles? This is killing me…

I wonder how old is he.If he is still in his early 20s he probably just want to go out with boys, especially if he reduced that kind of fun since the two of you started to date. What kind of relationship do you have? If everything is pretty much the same day in and day out, it’s no wonder the guy needs space. Don’t get this the wrong way, but if you’re “too easy to handle”, the guy wants to try something new, something more chalenging.
Don’t try to be “better”, that will only make things worse.