The approach is more difficult to explain, so I’ll have to think about it. How adept are you at reading body language? (I’m guessing not very skilled.) Start by going to scienceofpeople.com and looking for some of her free articles on body language, She’s really good. Also, theartofcharm.com might have some body language articles. Both might have articles on just approaching people.
I actually tried starting a lifting club. I got a bunch of signatures, but the vice principal said “wE DoNt NeEd iT.” As if any club in the world is needed lol.
Well yeah, but non-lifters arent going to be into a lifting club.
Why not get involved in something with music? When I was in high school, all my friends who were into music were all popular with girls.
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Man, it’s been a minute since I last got involved in a thread like this. I miss it a little.
@T3hPwnisher , (or anyone else) do you remember Csulli? he would often ask the OP in off topic threads like this if/where they fall on the spectrum.
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I second music. That’s how I got chicks. Plus it will help your creativity, you’ll have fun etc
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Art is good too. I think finding a creative outlet that you enjoy will be major for your school/dating life. Plus, being well rounded will help with college applications, your resume, or whatever you wanna do later
You can also try some sort of acting, dance, etc. Sign up for electives that you know where there will be a lot of girls.
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Ok clubs got it. On the other note the approaching thing. Bruh these sites aren’t much help. It never says anything about starting a conversation with someone out of the blue. Like if I see an attractive girl and then I decide to approach, what am I gonna say? It’s definitely not gonna be “me want potentially bang you very hard, date now!” in a cave man voice.
There’s no golden rule or magic solution. I’ve never approached a girl who hasn’t already at least seen me - like being regulars at the gym or in the same class, so I can’t answer for that scenario, but if it’s someone who at least has an idea of who I am, just really being like “Hey, how’s it going? Mind if I sit here? (next to her). I’m ______, what’s your name?” If you’re in a class or something together there’s something in common you can immediately chat about.
if the girl is someone you don’t actually know/ have had previous conversations with, approaching her with the intention of picking her up/dating her is destined to fail. Girls don’t generally appreciate strangers hitting on them in most social settings, outside of clubs/bars/events where that behavior is expected. Seriously. Attractive girls get this shit all the time. Strangers approaching with obvious intentions. That’s the best way to get shut down asap. You need to find an organic way to initiate conversation. If there isn’t an organic way to do it that you can see, then just don’t. You don’t want to get a reputation for being a creep.
Also, the meme thing sounds lame as hell. I’d cut that out.
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That dude could move a lot of weight. I think I remember him doing a DL challenge against another poster for a stupid amount of rounds.
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Yeah, save the memes for when you’ve been together for 3 years.
But, @tlgains , I should’ve been more clear. Like Flip said, I wouldn’t go up to talk being extremely obvious about it. I think it’s best used when you (obviously) find the girl attractive, but also, from observation or from mutual friends, think she seems “cool.” Funny, into similar things, whatever. Go about to see if becoming buddies will happen - more likely to be receptive to it. If she’s into you you’ll find out. I think some posters have already mentioned making girl friends, not girlfriends. Try it out - it can actually be pretty nice.
I have definitely seen worse than that get someone laid lol
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So wait; you wouldn’t read about Nihilism because that would conflict with your Christian values, but pre-marital sex is totally fine?
I gotta say, I studied theology for 8 years and I am unfamilair with your particular sect of Christianity.
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The approach is just walking up to a girl and starting a conversation, but it’s a bit of an art to learn. You can talk about the location, her style, something she did, or a thousand of things that you have in common at that very moment. There are a couple important things to remember; 1) do not address her face to face, because that’s aggressive body language and uncomfortable from a stranger. Approach and talk from the side or about 45 degrees. 2) Always smile; 3) Never ask yes/no questions. Instead ask opinions, like “hey you seem to know fashion pretty, what’s the best store in this mall for a guy to buy clothes?” “I’m new to this club, what do you like about it?”, “excuse me, where would you recommend to find a good gift for my girlfriend?” If she’s on her phone, ask her how many Pokémon she’s caught. Be imaginative. 4) Don’t give her anything, including your name (at first), because that makes her think she’s obligated to reciprocate. Save your name for about half way through; “By the way, my name is tlgains.” 5) Learn to read when her body language starts closing off, then back off, or even break out with something like “hey, I gotta meet my buddies; I hope to run into you again.”
See, it’s hard to explain.
Definitely learn when to back off, because staying around too long when things break down is definitely creepy. You don’t want that.
Hol up you’re saying I should become friends with an attractive girl then see if she likes me.
Or should I approach when a girl knows I exist then start convo then ask on date?
Or hes looking for a girl who marries on the first date
You should become good friends with a girl who is well connected and subtlety let her become your agent.
She will introduce you to her interested friends and if she is on your side, she will all but get her prospect into you before you even say a word.
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I respect your advice but if the friend doesn’t have any interested friends then wouldn’t I’d just be wasting my time. I wouldn’t want to become friends with somehow hoping her friends are interested.
Have you given any thought to approaching people in general and learning the art of initiating conversation? Neighbors, people at stores…learn how to generate conversation. “Nice day, huh?” “Boy, that Snickers bar looks good!” “Church is always fuller on rainy days, seems like,” or some comment on the tabloids while waiting in line at the grocery store. Just learn to talk to people, hopefully become a tiny bit charming, get rejected by people who don’t like to talk to strangers, and then use your skills and ease with rejection on people you’d be interested in dating. The guys giving advise aren’t awkward in general now. They can easily talk to people at the post office or flirt with the girl checking them out at the sporting goods store.
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You’re 17right? You’re going to college in only a little more than a year. Even you get the girl, the relationship probably won’t last. I’m not trying to be harsh. A bunch of my friends had older boyfriends and they broke up quickly after the guy went off college.
If you’re just looking for sex, given that you’re fit and not an asshole, you’re already better than 99% of the dating pool so plenty of girls (hot ones at that) will probably throw themselves at you if you just go to the gym. The key is to be confident and approach the girl.
As a girl, I won’t show interest in a guy if he doesn’t seem interested in me
Also, if you want college app advice, I’m happy to help
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