Need Advice, Have't Recovered Well and Unsure What to Do

Pharma / TRT
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I’ve been reading here for awhile and this forum seems to generally good advice so I’m asking for some feedback.

I’m 32 years old. I’ve done two test E cycles. One when I was about 20 the other last year. The first cycle was 500 mg per week for 8 weeks. No bloodwork or HCG and a high dose PCT. At the time, I didn’t think there was any issue with recovery.

The second cycle was 500 for 12 weeks. I ran blood work before and had a test level around 800. I used adex but never got the dose dialed in and spent most of the cycle with high e2. Used HCG at 500iu a week throughout, used test p the last two weeks, took a week off, and then did a 4 week PCT with 50mg of clomid and 40 of nolva tapering down. Since then, blood work shows test around 600.

The problem is, I have no sex drive to speak of and all the usual low T symptoms, low energy, irritability, decreased strength. Thinking back on it, sex drive probably took a dive after the first cycle but it was still there and the change was slow l so I didn’t notice. The bloodwork a year ago also revealed I had high E2 before the cycle 42 with a range of 7-42. I’ve got that under control using adex and the e2 thread in the TRT forum. All my other numbers are good.

So, I’m kinda lost.

Of course, I want to cycle again but it’s become obvious I lose a lot each time I do. I don’t have a lot going on outside of bodybuilding and I don’t want to quit, but one or two more cycles and I’ll probably have no choice but TRT or blast and cruise.

I haven’t ruled out either of those, but I don’t love the idea of being dependent on a needle for the next 40 years. Especially since I know even if my test drops another 200 points getting it from a doctor will be hard.

On the other hand, I feel like shit NOW and wonder whats the point of feeling that way for years before doing something about it.

I don’t know, should I just live with it?

My LH is at 5 on a 1.7 - 8.6 scale so it does not seem like a restart would help?

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can you post all of your current bloodwork?

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841×962 140 KB

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802×204 34 KB

If the image does not show it says

Estradiol 30.2 7.6-42.6

Vitamin D, 25-Hydroxy 47.3 30.0-100

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well, it mostly looks good…

i think the best protocol would be to try a SERM (clomid at 25 mg/day or nolva at 20 mg/day) and continue with your AI dose. maybe even raise that a smidge… what is your current AI dose? when do you take it (morning/night/meal, etc)?

also, if you’re not taking ZMA, i’d add that in… your vitamin D looks decent, tho.

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I could do a SERM. How long, a few weeks and then retest?

For ai, ive got research adex liquid. It was 1mg/1m. I diluted to .25mg/1ml. Before that test I was doing one drop tues morn and friday night. Ive bumped it up to MWF one drop at night. That should put me at 25 but ive been dialing in e2 for 18 months so I dont think its going to be a night and day difference.

I do take zma most nights. Vit d was low last year and just got within range. Im also doing ksman’s iodine replenishment because my temp was consistently low. Im hoping that will make a difference.

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yeah, i think you should see results in a month. in your case, you might wanna use clomid, since that seems to be more effective for longer durations… it’s possible that you might need to run it for several months.

btw, good to see you’re on top of everything else.

side note: you don’t think that this is simply depression, do you? i don’t think your testosterone is so low that you should feel this bad…

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Could it be depression? Maybe.

I’ve learned how to keep from feeling “bad,” but that gets me to “functional,” its not close to “good.” I keep busy to avoid dwelling on it, muscle through all the activity and then am physically exhausted.

Yeah, I might be depressed…