[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
That girl just lacks the social skills to politely but frankly decline. This happens a lot. She doesn’t want to be rude, so she’ll make up excuses, invent a boyfriend, or friend-zone you. I hate to admit it, but I did this quite a bit, mostly because I didn’t know how to honestly communicate in a nice way. Don’t take it personally. You gave a perfectly nice offer, and the little joke about Starbucks was funny. She’s just not interested for whatever reason. She might have a crush on somebody else right now. It can be that simple.
If she were really interested when you suggested coffee, she would have said she was working, but was free on Thursday or whenever. And if she really has a boyfriend, she should have brought that up right out of the box when you asked for her number. She could have easily said, “Thanks, and I would but I’m dating someone right now.” [/quote]
I don’t get it then. Why do that? All she had to do was say she had a bf. When she agreed to get coffee with me she said, “yeah sure why not”. Hmmm why not? She already knew the answer to that question. Do some women live such boring lives that they have to take advantage of any form of drama they can to help spice things up? I mean it’s one thing to cheat on your bf, it’s another to toy with the emotions of a complete stranger. Women can be so cruel holy phuck. [/quote]
I don’t know why she said “Yeah sure why not.” You’ll never know. You’d think it would have been easier for her to quickly sidestep you by text when she can think through her responses without the face-to-face pressure. Just a guess here, but she gave you her number - Maybe because she didn’t know how to gracefully say no to your face. The unexpected face to face thing can catch a girl like a deer in the headlights. She was thinking all along that she was going to answer a text or two from you if you contacted her, and then make an excuse if you asked her out. There is no boyfriend. That’s my guess.
What Apoklyps said about not continuing to suggest times to meet up is spot on. If she says “Sorry, I have to work,” and you say “What’s your schedule like next week?”, and she comes back with something about how she’s slammed with work, and needs to write a big paper, and already has plans with her roommates - Then she’s trying to politely blow you off. So, you politely say, “Well, I’m on my way out but it was nice to meet you. TTYL” Forget about trying to make her “regret you.” That’s just silly.
If you were some total stranger who hit on me at the 7-11, no way I’d have given you my number, but it’s always easier to say, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend”, than to say “No, you’re a total stranger and you seem creepy.” 
If the guy seemed normal, was friendly and was about my age, and from my school, I might have given him my number thinking I’d either find a nice way to brush him off later, or MAYBE that it would turn into some kind of friendship.
Lots of women will sometimes hang out with guys, or even accept dates when they are pretty sure there’s no romantic interest on their part at all. It generally not premeditated or mean-spiritied. They are unlikely to be thinking “Score! I’ve turned him into my beta-orbiter, stand-in for if I have no better plans! I’ll use him!” We may sometimes be in denial about accepting that the young man wouldn’t hang around just to be a friend, but we’re not usually doing it on purpose to be cruel.
[/quote]
I agree with most of what you said and thank you for your response. I don’t think she has a bf either, I’ve stated that from the beginning. However if you read our conversation, her telling me it’s family day and that she’s sorry she’s usually not that mean and yadda yadda.
It just seems like she’s looking for some type of validation or attention. It’s one thing if you don’t have enough courage to reject someone when they’re right in front of you. It’s a whole different ball game whhil texting, she had more than enough opportunities to be straight up with me. She was under no pressure and it was weird because she would respond like 30 seconds after I texted her. So this made me think she was interested.
Me on the other had, I would average almost 15 mins per text (this was not on purpose) Beside the coffee offer, I was actually the passive one in the covno. I even ended the convo first before it became a texting marathon. She ‘allegedly’ works two minimum wage jobs to help support her family. I felt bad for her, if things went further I could have helped her get a job with my current employer (the starting pay is $20hr).
Also i’ll be going to medical school in about two years and will eventually become a doctor. I never mentioned where I worked or what i’m going to school for. She probably sees me as some low class loser but little does she know it’s the opposite. This would be the last time I cold approach a girl. My friend told me to never ask out a library girl because they’re all batchit crazy, I guess he was right haha.
[/quote]
The Butthurt is so deep in this post. Girls aren’t attracted to guys because they can set them up with $20/hr jobs. Being an undergrad who plans to go to medical school also doesn’t bump you up many notches. You don’t feel bad for her. You wanted her and are frustrated that she didn’t want you and that she’ll never know what a great catch you are.
The reality is there are dozens of explanations as to why she ended up acting the way she did. But thinking about it more won’t let you know which explanation is correct, and knowing which explanation is correct wouldn’t help you. It doesn’t appear you screwed up horribly in the interaction, but there are things you could have done better (there always are).
Move on.
I was wondering how many people here got my Mary Ann and Ginger, and Flock of Seagulls Hair references. HA!!