[quote]LiftHeavy360 wrote:
I cold approached this girl at the uni library. I got her number and texted her later that day. The entire Conversation went like this
Me: This is a VIP# store with care
-Jack
Her: LOL! Hey I’m sorry for being so rude when giving you my number my manager isn’t the nicest person on earth so I didn’t know how she would feel about it.
Me:No worries I understand she seems to be in a bad mood most of the time from what I noticed
Her: yeah idk what her deal is! I was like oh no 
i’m usually not that mean.
Me: Do you drink coffee?
Her: haha yeah I do! why?
Me: Rumor has it this place called starbucks serves coffee, we should go verify this rumor.
Her: Yeah why no! when do you want to go
Me: What about saturday at 6?
Her: I have work! 2 jobs so i’m always busy.
Me: Wow hard worker! what about friday at 11am?
Her: I work on Friday too!! lol i’m working 9-2 Friday and 5-10 Saturday.
Me: What about sunday?
Her: Nope that’s family day LOL, You shuld know that
Me: Oh! well now I know
Her: I mean don’t you have family day on sunday’s hahaha
Me. I guess? I always assumed family day was every day?
Her: aww that’s swwet! do you have a big family?
Me: Hmm not rly! we’re a family of 6 wbu?
Her: I see 
just 4 my parents my brother and I
Me: It was nice chatting lmk when you’re so we can get some coffee!
Her: Thanks you too.
So now i’m a bit skeptical because she’s giving me sign that’s she’s interested but I just have a weird feeling about things So I text her 4 days later on sunday.
me: Hey! so how was family day?
For 12 hours I get no response. There’s a read receipt so I know she read it. I them begin getting paranoid until I give in and send a another text
me: is everything ok?
she texts back in two mins
Her: Yeah i’m good! I was with my bf all and didn’t have a chance to reply. I’m sorry
That’s just sucked the air right out of me. I’d rather she denied me in the beginning but leading me on like that? really?
I send a message back
me: No worries
Her:
and that’s the end of it. What would you guys do in this situation?
[/quote]
This silly scenario from some woman you don’t even know crushed your self-esteem? Are you serious? If that’s the case, then you might indeed have crippled self-esteem.
A few key points here:
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This is a cold approach, and cold approaches have absolutely NOTHING invested in them! The woman doesn’t know you from a hole in the wall. Even if she thinks you are physically attractive, this one attribute in a man usually doesn’t do the job in a woman having strong interest in spending time with a guy if she does not know him from a hole in the wall. So there is no reason to even care about this event much considering that.
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Text conversations with prospective women are all asinine! Sending cute and jokey text messages should be reserved for serious girlfriends or wives. Sending texts, waiting for a response, sitting there thinking of this person while you’re doing daily activities and working and awaiting the next message - all of this is distracting and make a guy feel desperate and out of sorts, especially if he has low self esteem and is trying to figure out how to handle women, ESPECIALLY a modern woman who, like almost everyone else, is cooped up with cell phones and social media.
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From my observations throughout life, the men who can pull off goofy shenanigans like flirtatious text message conversations are men who have good self-images and past positive experiences with women and are thereby impervious to rejection and annoying and flaky female behaviors in meeting and dating. They simply do not care and also understand that not everyone likes them. Mature men know that there are people, men and women, that don’t like them, for whatever reason. The quicker a man comes to grip with this, the quicker his self-image will be intact.
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What would I do in a situation like that? Forget about this STRANGER! I am married now, but there was a time in life in which my own self-respect and self-image were in question. So it is easier said than done for men with that problem–which can be a serious problem! I recommend a cold approach only if there is some type of connection or excitement in a conversation, like if you really have some common interests or happen to know the same people and it is obvious she is physically attracted to you, which can be noticed by how she looks at or touches you.
Most “cold approaches” are a waste of time and will go nowhere. Even the men I knew who we might call "players’ in their younger days, did not take any cold approaching seriously. They didn’t know it was called cold approaching because that sort of stuff was part of who they were (eg, men who are VERY comfortable with women) and they had no idea what the heck all this internet PUA stuff was. Most men with serious girlfriends did not meet them from cold approaches.
- Many young women do not take dating seriously at all. Actually many do not take men seriously at all, which is not surprising considering the current social climate today and what people have pumped in their heads and what their priorities are. It’s also not surprising considering what many young men look and act like. Keep this in mind if you must in order not to personalize such situations.
