MIM- they make it out to be that competitive, but the rest of my stats are excellent, and im sure i could conjure up some recommendation letters, i just know that im not in yet. reality checking myself in case of the worst.
BG- you sick fuck. you would hide a magnet in there so i couldnt get up. thats something between “SAW” and “a christmas story” right there.
cal- ouchie! mom so courteously informed me a few months ago that my legs touch at the top. her was of saying, “honey your legs are too big.” I thanked her and told her that I’d worked hard for that. yet another reason i dont wear shorts… i hate my legs rubbing half skin half fabric. it just feels weird.
masch- a friend of mine has a motorcycle with a vibrator in the passenger seat. how much longer till spring?
training
5/3/1 deload ohp
x5- bar, 55, 65, 75
x amrap- bar x 25 ← again, quit when i got bored.
1arm lat pulldown x15- 30, 40, 30
standing lat raises 3x10, 20lb dbs
rear delt stuff
30 back extensions
russian twists with 12lb medicine ball, 3x40
while i still dont know the exact cause, ive pinpointed the source of those explosion headaches. my SCM’s!! neck was a lil touch and go during the ohp and the lat pulldowns, so i did some more aggressive poking and rubbing and stretching (like the other gym goers dont think im weird enough already), and they are incredibly sore to the touch, but i dont notice it that much unless im straining.
skye or anyone else, feel welcome to tell me to get my head outta my ass and just go get a massage already.
story:
last time i went in for OHP, a guy was doing his own OHP/push presses using the back of the power rack. by the time i had finished warming up, i asked, and he had only one set left. tonight, i see him doing OHP and powercleaning the weight from the floor, with another bar on the pins on the back of the rack. i announced that he had to stop OHPing on the same day, because my tiny weights (compared to his 185) were about to make me feel inadequate. (he doesnt know me so he doesnt get the joke.) he asked if i needed the rack, and when i said i didnt have to use it, or that i could use the front, he promptly stripped the weights off of one bar and carried the bar loaded with 185 over to a diff area with the quickness of someone who was running away from a burning building.
pleasant banter ensued for the rest of the time he was there, and i assured him that next time i’ll just do something else, so that other people dont think i have the plague.
for those of you who ask, hes not bangable.
im now planning on having at least 1000kcal before bed. not that i count, but i looked at the packages of what im eating. cheezy spinach pastry bites (pillsburys version of spanikopita. not the same, bc my sister in law is greek, and i know the diff. but its still good), wine, and digornio chicken tuscan pizza.
and yes, this IS the start of the cleaned up version of my diet.
I think you want me to get laid almost as much as i do. im seriously considering some type of anti-psychotic prenup… dunno what it’d be called, but it’d go something like this; “so, you dont know just how awesome i am yet, and if/when this ends, i’d like to make sure that you know im serious when i say i dont want to talk to you anymore, and that it’s over. if you could just sign here, here, here, and initial here, it’ll give me the option of immediately nailing your nuts to the floor in the event of you losing your fucking mind. ya im completely serious. alright! a copy will be sent to you by certified mail, i’ll keep a copy, and my lawyer will keep one. now that we understand each other, lets get to bumping uglies!”
That didn’t sound like fun, lol…