My Left Shoe

Training
561

[quote]kimbakimba wrote:
If Chris is the new awesome workout partner, AND he is a kick-ass therapist too…well, please tell me he’s not married or girlfriended or anything. Lie if you must.

CBear84 wrote:
Divorced, 3 boys, aged 17, 14, and 12. The 17 and 14 year old have been at the gym with us before, and have expressed their approval of their fathers friendship with me to him already. lol. with all the eloquence teenage boys have. I heard this from him, not them.

he’s 6’2"ish, around 215, around 10%. blue/grey eyes, brown hair speckeled with silver, cut short (used to be in the Navy). lives by himself, house is clean. gym in the garage (squat rack absent but plans are in the works). therapy/office setup in the spare room- table, heat pads, and something else, cant figure out what it is but i’ll ask next time.

none of that was a lie.

kimbakimba wrote:
Oh. My. God. I’m so enjoying this mental picture.[/quote]

oh. and he’s 43.

CBear84 wrote:
I bend my knees into my chest. I cant think of a good protocol to get you to be able to do them, as i dont remember a time when i couldnt. I wonder if a miniband assist would be appropriate, maybe some v-ups with a medicine ball. hmmm. keep me posted about how this goes for you.

kimbakimba wrote:
I’ve done v-ups with a stability ball, but a med ball is a great suggestion. Hmmm…band assist…if I wasn’t so beat I’d try and figure that out now.
[/quote]

band assist… like you would with a pullup, but around the arch of your foot instead? for the knee to chest version, anyway.

deja- yeah, im leaning toward “b” myself.

alisa- if i remember correctly, all 3 boys do some kind of sport, so i can imagine that chris guides them as much as possible in the right direction.

I’ve met a nephew in the gym as well, and he’s hung out with us a few times. he’s laid back and funny. apparently, he has the same opinion of me as his cousins, “dude she’s hott… and a BEAST!” he’s more muscular than Chris, but is 20 and in the Navy… been in afghanistan for 6 (maybe more?) months. apparently lifting was a big thing to do over there.

side note: just got a text from my stalker that says, “you are so the kind of dirty that doesn’t wash off.”

i lol’d.

562

best. stalker. ever.

i’m just going with b cuz i know that a fucking one armed pullup is hard as shit. i’m nowhere near doing one. i struggle with the forearm ones. try a pullup with one hand normal and the other one only use ur thumb or ur pinkie and feel how hard that is. i think it’d take me a couple YEARS to be able to do one.

oh man. with the nephew in ur corner, ur in! $5 says him and the older son have already done a lot of talking about what kind of dirty stuff u’d do.

563

[quote]dejavued wrote:
best. stalker. ever. [/quote]

he really is! I’m incredibly lucky. I’ll tell the rest of the story next post.

[quote]
i’m just going with b cuz i know that a fucking one armed pullup is hard as shit. i’m nowhere near doing one. i struggle with the forearm ones. try a pullup with one hand normal and the other one only use ur thumb or ur pinkie and feel how hard that is. i think it’d take me a couple YEARS to be able to do one. [/quote]

yeah the hobbit talked some more about it today… apparently it takes around 3 months. good thing im a stubbon cunt.

[quote]
oh man. with the nephew in ur corner, ur in! $5 says him and the older son have already done a lot of talking about what kind of dirty stuff u’d do. [/quote]

this is the catch… he sounds great on paper, and is incredibly sweet IRL.

scrapping all of the superficial bullshit reasons… I’m no where near ready for someone else yet.

564

Introducing my stalker, Galileo.

He’s a bouncer at the place Molly works a few nights a week. I’d go and eat and hang out when I would go see Jim and he’d have to work all night. I started to get to know the bouncers, and Galileo and I really got along.

We started passing notes back and forth between Molly, and he kept mentioning my “bitch leash,” it’s length, and my deprivation from the outside world. He finally mentioned something about me not calling him. I told him that my crystal ball was in the shop being polished, and that I didnt have the patience to guess the correct combination of 10 numbers it would take to reach him. This is when Molly decided to tell me she forgot to give me his number and that she was sposed to 3 weeks before this conversation.

So we start texting and calling each other (Jim knew, i wasnt being shady), when he mentions a screenplay that he’s written. Knowing that he’s a more mature psychotic asshole than I am, I immediately expressed my desire to read it, thinking he could email it to me. He told me he would mail it, and asked for my address. I hesitated for a moment before I told him, “I’m not saying you will, but if you HAPPEN to show up on my doorstep, unannounced, I have absolutely no problem shooting you in the face before I step over your brain matter and walk to my car. Not judging, just letting you know.”

so a few days later, a manilla envelope arrives while im at work. My father was nice enough to let my dog out for me that day, and brought in my mail.

The address reads:
Claire "All-men-are
obsessed-with-me-and
want-to-stalk-me-be
cause-i’m-so-awesome
LASTNAME (aka La Superbeasta)
street address
city state zip

so, I opened it, and found a cover letter, from Acme Stalking, Inc

Heading

Dear Ms. Lastname:

Thank you for choosing Acme Stalking as your personal harassment provider. We have assigned you a stalking professional custom tailored to your needs.

In order to help us better provide an unsettling atmosphere of inescapable scrutiny and a constant impending sense of violation of your privacy, please provide us with the following documentation as soon as possible:

 - Several full color photographs of yourself, preferably at various distances, engaged in various daily activities, and varying in quality of composition, focus, and camera placement. 
 - Your place of employment and work schedule
 - Blueprints or floor plan of your current residence
 - Vehicle color, make and license number 
 - A brief description of any phobias, unresolved childhood fears or other repressed issues of a personal or intimate nature

By providing these items to us, you will save us many hours of tedious groundwork and allow our selected professional to move right into the “felony stalking” phase. This is what you have been waiting for! Enclosed is your first “bizarre communication” from your personal stalker in the form of a short screenplay. Please read through it at your leisure andvimpute the relevant psychotic traits to your stalker. This will increase your feeling of dread and unease whenever you perceive your stalker to be near you… or is he!?!

Again, thank you for choosing Acme Stalking to serve you in this capacity. If you have any questions or concerns, just shout them out to the bushes outside your window and we’ll get back to you more quickly than you would think is humanly possible.

Sincerely,

Galileo

Enclosure.

/introduction.

I am such an incredibly lucky woman.

565

am i the only one who didn’t know your name was Claire?

that is some ridiculously entertaining shit. and i woulda thought you were capable of only obtaining internet stalkers…not real life ones…

i will still call you Cbear…biatch.

566

haha nice! i bet u laughed ur ass off.

what a name.

oh and only 3 months on the pullup huh?

what are ya gonna do with the other hand when you get it??? you gotta come up with something good for the vid.

567

[quote]talenaah wrote:
am i the only one who didn’t know your name was Claire? [/quote]

yes, although i havent hidden it much. i see you dont read mollys log too much.

your doubt of my skill is your first, and biggest, mistake. you shall be whipped.

its ok. most people IRL do, too. hobbit does.

568

[quote]dejavued wrote:
haha nice! i bet u laughed ur ass off.[/quote]

I did! I still do! and i carried it around for a week, showing everyone.

not his real one, theres a story about that, too. dont wanna overwhelm everyone. ha. ok, i do. but i want each story to matter as much to you as it does to me. and it takes some time to absorb and appreciate it.

[quote]oh and only 3 months on the pullup huh?

want to wager on it? i’m in for 10 bucks that you won’t do it b[/quote]

unless you’re gonna come over here and let me pull the $10 from your panties with my teeth, and vice versa if i lose, i will take no bets.

569

fucking T-Nation. this shit logs me in and out over and over. i was in the middle of changing that… i figured i’d be better off starting a pool behind ur back… when it fucking suddenly signed me out and then posted what i had written earlier?? wtf.

does it sign anyone else out every two fucking seconds???

and i get error pages 24/7.

i dont’ get this shit on ANY other forums. fucking wierd.

/rant

i love when u, me, n t get in a convo and neglect the caps.

570

[quote]dejavued wrote:

i love when u, me, n t get in a convo and neglect the caps. [/quote]

fuck caps. my spacebar has been sticking and its an effort to go through a post and remember to put the spaces in the right spots.

571

oh, this is always appropriate. now is as good of a time as any.

572

[quote]CBear84 wrote:
talenaah wrote:
am i the only one who didn’t know your name was Claire?

yes, although i havent hidden it much. i see you dont read mollys log too much.

[/quote] i haven’t read through all of hers…just the recent stuff. i’m sure i’m missing out, so i should take a looksy to be caught up. i’m new here gdamnt!

[quote]
you shall be whipped. [/quote]
as long as you are dressed appropriately, i will take that whipping…black, leather, stilettos…you get the idea. otherwise it’s on…

ok Claire…

573

[quote]dejavued wrote:
fucking T-Nation. this shit logs me in and out over and over. i was in the middle of changing that… i figured i’d be better off starting a pool behind ur back… when it fucking suddenly signed me out and then posted what i had written earlier?? wtf.

does it sign anyone else out every two fucking seconds???

and i get error pages 24/7.

i dont’ get this shit on ANY other forums. fucking wierd.

/rant [/quote]
i’ve seen this log in and out stuff several times…annoying as fuck. i don’t get error pages too often, but today i could login at all…which was a good thing because it kept me on task at work.

[quote]
i love when u, me, n t get in a convo and neglect the caps. [/quote]

and i almost never use caps…even in my emails to RL people. it’s way faster to type…i hate when i write professional emails at work, i really have to think about it. blegh…

574

yes! lol

my spacebar stuck on my old computer. it was such a bitch. the left shift button didn’t work either. doesn’t seem like a pain… but someday notice how much you use it. ugh. it was a beeeyotch.

[quote]talenaah wrote:

and i almost never use caps…even in my emails to RL people. it’s way faster to type…i hate when i write professional emails at work, i really have to think about it. blegh…

[/quote]

ditto. it’s a pain.

575

[quote]CBear84 wrote:

oh. and he’s 43. [/quote]

Mmmm, a younger man. The deliciousness continues…oh, sorry. This is about you.

Whenever it is that you are back in the market, I’d recommend giving men my age a try. Then again, I’ve never dated younger so can’t really compare and contrast. However, at the least you’d expect a guy of this age to know his own mind and to have made a place for himself in this life. Personally I find that very attractive.

Just tried it…it works great. Better when the movement is straight legs up to the bar than knees to chest.

576

I LOL’d hard at the fork in the garbage disposal dance.

577

[quote]kimbakimba wrote:
Whenever it is that you are back in the market, I’d recommend giving men my age a try. Then again, I’ve never dated younger so can’t really compare and contrast. However, at the least you’d expect a guy of this age to know his own mind and to have made a place for himself in this life. Personally I find that very attractive.
[/quote]

I love men your age! I rarely date less than 5 years my senior.

bobbi- the fork in the garbage disposal has become a favorite among my brothers and sisters… there’s a rule… once one person starts everyone has to join in. no matter when that is! ok, silly, but hilarious!

578

This Chris sounds just about right for me too. Don’t suppose you’d want to parcel him up and send him over to England would you? No?

Aside from my first boyfriend, who was 19 when I was 18, I’ve always had younger boyfriends, even if it was just by a year or two. Lately, though, I’ve started to find greying hair very attractive. Perhaps I’m catching up to my age finally (although I do spend all my spare time playing computer games and riding rollercoasters so…maybe not).

579

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING…I truly did laugh out loud…look I even fucking spelled it out and you know that’s a commitment.

I think you are flirting/dating/getting sensually touched by some hot older guy…so yeah, good times. Hope you get some bone;)

580

[quote]CBear84 wrote:
Cal- time for an overshare- for me, masturbation is kinda like throwing a water balloon at a mushroom cloud. it makes you feel better for a minute, but doesnt help the big problem. NOTHING can replace the weight of him on top of me, straddling those fantastically thick thighs, the hair pulling, or the face cupping. mom suggested i get a weighted body pillow. lol!

MIM- yeah, i’ll be ok. i always am. damn my ability to take a step back and realize how huge life really is. it gets easier when i have that tunnel vision thing going on.

bobbi- yeah, but i dunno if i’ll clue him in on the competition. i think i’ll just start working on em on my own, then bust a few out in front of him, like, what? [/quote]

I have had to make some major life changes in the last few weeks it has sucked major ass. I didn’t. Want to keep Claire tied down while I sorted my life out. That is why I suggested we be friends for now. I find it sad that every last detail of my relationship with someone I care very much about is broadcast all over the Internet like a cheap porn.

Some things are ment to be between two people