I can relate to this struggle when I was married. Except she refused to weigh herself, so we had no starting point other than her guess to eat what she claimed was 1200 calories.
I also don’t think your approach is healthy (if correct). I think you might be under calculating calories/portions. How often are you tracking weight with this very specific weight of 207? And how long do these calorie ranges last?
Soul fighter I have her tell me every single thing she eats everyday so we can discuss it together - she wants to lose weight very very very badly. Somedays she eats 1 meal - just chipotle or just homemade chicken and veggies. Other days, she’ll eat 2 meals - salad and meat for lunch and then veggies and meat for dinner. She’ll drink coffee and have 1 snack on the 2 meal days. Sometimes she gets very hardcore and only has 1 meal and no snacks. The very hardcore days are 500 - 700 calories. The 2 meal days are right about 1200 to 1400
Saturdays is cheat day and she’ll eat 2 meals of mostly crap. I estimate right about 1700 to 1900 calories
She doesn’t lose weight unless she has multiple days of 500 to 700
Too few calories. Like as said before start high and then slowly drecrease. Food doesn’t have to be high calories just high quality and volume. I’m talking broccoli and chicken, fish and veggies, slow release carbs such as oatmeal and long grain brown rice. Quality fats like tree nuts, avocado etc. 5-6 meals a day. Try HIIT a few times a week maybe. Also get free T4 checked with thyroid panel - you have to ask for this they won’t automatically do it. The only time I actually got lean was when I did it this way. Maybe it will help her. Also I was a closet eater. My husband used to yell at me when he found cake crumbs in the bathroom. Women are sneaky so there’s that.
yeah something doesnt compute. Has she actually consulted an experienced MD in person -endocrinologist/gastroentorologist etc??
As mentioned above, split meals/feeds into 3-5 feeds a day, even if very small
What exactly does this mean/entail?
-If this is the case she must have a pretty decent athletic shape to her even if a bit husky
Anyway if talking about extreme stuff like tummy tuck(AVOID!!) best up training to 4-6 days a week and run her through tough Tnation programs. This would be ideal…
If equipment limited in current climate, look up home workout thread and especially 10,000 swing workout
beth, she doesn’t lose weight unless she does very hardcore low calorie dieting. She tried for months to lose weight eating normal but healthy and it doesn’t work
and she’s eating veggies, meat and the other quality stuff you’re talking about
Hate to say it but I don’t think your approach is effective or safe. You should have her spend some times at higher calories like EyeDentist said and see waht happens. By then, at least a caloric deficit can be safely pushed from there.
I’ll rephrase my question: have your considered hiring a professional who knows how to do this?
Soul fighter, I think you misunderstood eyedentists posts. He’s implying that my girl is just not counting calories correctly
If her failed attempts are causing this reaction in you, you might be better served stepping away from the situation and letting her find her own way.
If she complains about her weight, then consider it a time to listen and let her talk it out rather than her asking you to sort it out for her.
You’ll probably find this ends up being more successful for the both of you.
Also, no to clen lol
I was in a similar boat of thinking/talking about food with my wife, etc. She wanted a tummy tuck too.
She swore up and down, etc…
Then I pulled up the bank statements showing an X dollar purchase at the McD’s on her way to work every morning and asked “How do you explain that?”.
Then the crying and swearing begins.
skyzyk, I’m spending entire days with her and she’s not eating much
We had cheat day and I ate probably 4500 calories, she ate maybe 2000
Man, a good sneaker can put the hammer down on some ridiculous amounts of food while you’re taking a dump or walking the dog or what ever.
It’s very simple. Those calories are getting in there. No way around that.
Just my own personal belief: When someone had already decided on a surgical option (for a number of reasons) it just becomes a protracted game of “See, I told you this wouldn’t work.”,and I’ve seen this in a bunch of women.
It’s literally exactly the same with every single one of them. They’ll move mountains to do anything but be honest and work consistently, long term.
so overall consensus here is that she’s just not tracking calories correctly
is there anybody here who thinks she actually does have a metabolism that horrible?
It could be both.
I once lived with an alcoholic. I opened the toilet water tank up because the toilet was running and found a couple of beer cans in there lol
I used to steal my coworkers food. empty the change jar to get some Reeses. Eat in the bathroom so no one could judge me.
then you live in complete disregard of human physiology and science on the subject.
Understand what you mean when you say ‘metabolism that horrible’.
For someone to not lose bodyfat while eating 500kcals think about what that entails.
Their body is so efficient, that they can sustain brain function, immune function, organ function, repair, growth, cellular processes AND all their daily movement and activity, on only 500 calories.
Phrase the question differently. Does anybody think your 200lb wife can have a caloric maintenenace as low as you outline? No.
Maintenance calories can get very low, look at late stage female bodybuilders, when they are down to ridiculously low bodyfat they might be averaging just over 1,000 calories a day, for a short period of time, but they ABSOLUTELY know thats happening. Their average body temperature is way down, their movement is sluggish, their brain is sluggish, their hormone levels are tanked and their bloodwork is absolutely NOT normal (all things that are part of that metabolic adaptation you claim you don’t believe in).
There may be an element of overestimating how much is being burned, but that would be a difference of a few hundred calories.
For reference Im 200lb and my maintenance is around 2,250 - 2,400. Yes I can say i workout intensely 4 times per week, yes i run around after my kid, but when it comes to actual hours in the day most of them are sat on my ass. On my ass n the car on the way to work, on my ass in the office all day, and on my ass eating after I get back from gym in the evening.
So perhaps lower the estimate of activity level and see what the new estimate TDEE is.
The rest of the difference is calories in. Full stop.
I’m not setting out to disagree with anyone here, but I’ll add a tiny bit of nuance to the discourse: please have her check her resting heart rate. I read that the bloods are okay, so this tangent is hopefully going to result in absolutely nothing. But please, just to be exhaustive.
Unpopular opinion, but maybe try and convince your wife she doesn’t need to loose weight- that might reduce stress and subconsciously cause her to alter her behaviour in a way that leads to weight loss