My wood always subsides after a few minutes upon waking. I just wait it out, splash some cold water on my face, and by then the boner will be soft enough to hold it down to pee.
I gotta twist on that one: When you push the head of your “lever” down and you heels lift off the floor… THAT’S torque.
hahaaa this thread is making me so thankful for my female parts
although… i would gladly exchange the embarrassment of “morning wood” to the pain of childbearing i will one day experience
I never hide it, if people are in the house or room, then that’s their problem. Morning sex is always a good cure for this too. 
I admit it. I piss sitting down when I have morning wood. Just insert your cock downwards into the opening between the edge of the seat and your thighs. Works like a charm, and no mess!
This is especially a pain in the ass being in the army. In a barracks full of dudes and with morning wood when you have to be on your feet right away. Oh well you just learn to tuck and run.
I learnt that Testosterone is at it’s highest in the morning resulting in morning wood. If you’ve stopped waking up in the morning with a fat so hard a dog could chew on it then your T is declining.
Ever wake up on a lazy morning and you’re lying there with a woody and you’re like yeah, I should jerk it. Like 20 seconds in you’re just like, fuck this I’m not up (lol puns) enough for this shit. I wish my girlfriend lived with me so I could get morning BJs.
Or no, I wish I could teleport (red underline? WTF? Teleport isn’t a real word?) her here in the morning then back when she’s done.
stand farther back and pull a matrix style move, you have to sort of move gradually closer as the pressure drops - which is not easy first thing in the morning.
for those of you so inclined, there is always the sink…
[quote]girlfromipanema wrote:
hahaaa this thread is making me so thankful for my female parts
although… i would gladly exchange the embarrassment of “morning wood” to the pain of childbearing i will one day experience[/quote]
Nah. I’ll take morning wood over having a menstrual period, related maintenance, gyno exams, and sex bullshit from dudes any day.
Ok,
Related joke:
Old man talking to another old man.
Old Man: When I was younger I remember it took two hands to bend the morning wood down so I could take a piss.
Then when I got older it only took one hand.
And now I am able to bend it with a couple of fingers.
Other old man: DO you think in another couple of years it might not get hard at all.
Old Man: Nope, I am just wondering how much stronger I am going to get.
Nah. I’ll take morning wood over having a menstrual period, related maintenance, gyno exams, and sex bullshit from dudes any day.
[/quote]
ID, you make some valid points.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
girlfromipanema wrote:
hahaaa this thread is making me so thankful for my female parts
although… i would gladly exchange the embarrassment of “morning wood” to the pain of childbearing i will one day experience
Nah. I’ll take morning wood over having a menstrual period, related maintenance, gyno exams, and sex bullshit from dudes any day.
[/quote]
Morning wood can be fun sometimes. You never hear a woman happy about her period…unless she thought she was pregnant.
As far as why we get wood, I have always considered it a protective mechanism. Twisting and turning at night while acting out random dreams isn’t the best environment for a “softy”.
Bad experience?
heh, yeah when I was about 16 I was asleep and moma came to wake me up ofc. I was still sleeping and she just WHAM got the cosy blanket off me. She started to giggle. I opened my eyes and was like ‘what u laughin about?’ I also said ‘WTF’ before. After 3 sec I realized I had my dick out of mah boxers with one of those massive hard ons with friggin pre-cum.
I just stood there like an idiot lying on bed and friggin grandma came in also and started to laugh too. I was embarrased. Later on my mum talked to me and told me ‘son, your’s is bigger then your father’s’. I felt harrased and happy at the same time.
[quote]Bicep_craze wrote:
Bad experience?
heh, yeah when I was about 16 I was asleep and moma came to wake me up ofc. I was still sleeping and she just WHAM got the cosy blanket off me. She started to giggle. I opened my eyes and was like ‘what u laughin about?’ I also said ‘WTF’ before. After 3 sec I realized I had my dick out of mah boxers with one of those massive hard ons with friggin pre-cum. I just stood there like an idiot lying on bed and friggin grandma came in also and started to laugh too. I was embarrased. Later on my mum talked to me and told me ‘son, your’s is bigger then your father’s’. I felt harrased and happy at the same time.[/quote]
lol, thats horrible, but incredibly funny at the same time.
I don’t buy the theory that the morning wood prevents wetting the bed.
Women don’t get the morning wood… so they should have be wetting their beds…
‘My theory is that the flaccid penis is in a precarious state of oxygen delivery, and erections serve as a way of more or less recharging the battery,’ says Irwin Goldstein, M.D., the director of sexual medicine at San Diego’s Alvarado Hospital and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. To study this possibility, Dr. Goldstein and his colleagues took samples of penile smooth muscle and subjected them to varying levels of oxygen. The results: During the low-oxygenation levels associated with flaccidity, smooth muscle begins to break down and convert to scar tissue. But at the higher oxygen levels seen during erections, the body naturally produces enzymes that undo the damage.
[quote]pch2 wrote:
‘My theory is that the flaccid penis is in a precarious state of oxygen delivery, and erections serve as a way of more or less recharging the battery,’ says Irwin Goldstein, M.D., the director of sexual medicine at San Diego’s Alvarado Hospital and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. To study this possibility, Dr. Goldstein and his colleagues took samples of penile smooth muscle and subjected them to varying levels of oxygen. The results: During the low-oxygenation levels associated with flaccidity, smooth muscle begins to break down and convert to scar tissue. But at the higher oxygen levels seen during erections, the body naturally produces enzymes that undo the damage.
[/quote]
Nice find…
…but it is still a theory as is any other doc’s current take on why it happens at night while we sleep.
My mom came in to wake me up one morning, sat down on the bed and laid her arm across me. Thumper jumped on contact. She gave no indication of noticing it.
How about wet dream stories?
The first time I had a wet dream I messed the jockey I was wearing. No problem, I got up, threw them in the laundry basket and put on another pair and went back to sleep. A little while later I woke up again and went through the same process. A little while later I woke up again with another pair of messed undies. All total four nocturnal emissions that night.
The next night I went through the same thing and again the third night. I was thinking “Oh my gawd, it’s never going to stop? What am I going to do?” Finally it stopped but I went through the same thing every two or three months for a year or two.
To make things worse, never once in all those “Wet Dreams” did I complete the mission. Each time I was finally going to get some nookie, only to squirt too soon.