Related article from just two days ago.
I knew something was bothering me about this “younger women” point but it took me until now to put my finger on it - am I the only one here attracted to older women (read: >= my age, not old)? I’ve literally never dated a woman younger than me. If my wife got hit by a bus tomorrow and I felt like starting all over I couldn’t imagine going fishing down in the late 20s pool. I know it’s not the point of the thread . . .
Isn’t this a bit short circuited when ‘society’ is now willing to create rules that say you can be fired, fined, imprisoned for slights that now criminal behavior?
There is a high degree of personalization going on. Generally, when people say that young people, say women eighteen to 25 years old, are the most attractive, it doesn’t mean every man prefers to seek a woman in that age range, and it also doesn’t consider what is a good match for mates for every man. It simply means that generally people in that age range are the best they’re going to look.
How this spiraled into something that shouldn’t be thought about is beyond me.
Meanwhile if one looks at the ages of models and all the sexual images plastered around our society, they will see who is featured usually is in that age range. Do people think Christy Brinkley and Cindy Crawford were “discovered” in their late 20’s and beyond?
To continue with my post above, I can use myself for example. I am no model, but I highly doubt anyone would consider me more physically attractive with a receding hairline and some grey hairs than I was at eighteen through 25. Whether I am smarter or more mature is besides the point.
But I mean think about what it takes to actually merit those punishments: openly using racial epithets, outright sexual harassment or assault, blatant nepotism - are any of these things we consider the staples of masculinity? I work in the environment of which you speak. It took someone catching a managing director jacking off in a board room for someone to actually get fired, while people carried on with the activities I listed without consequence. Edit: the company first tried to fire the young woman who discovered the board room jacker as she “was not a high value employee”. Stoicism, work ethic, decisiveness, accountability, objectivity and the host of other things that may be considered “toxic” by society but are the typical attributes of strong male leaders aren’t actually prosecutable offenses.
Totally - I was deliberately taking it to the personal end for a minute just to suss out whether I’m alone on that point (in this thread anyway).
I had a woman employee contact the state to lodge a complaint of sexual harassment against a fellow male employee.
Although it was resolved against her, it took witnessed affadavits(sp?) from every other employee in the department - both men and women (all stated her as the problem btw), my business being threatened by a state employee on the initial phone call, and many hours of my time showing documentation. In fact, the panel more or less said it sounded like she was the harassing party.
Zero issue with the state for her action however.
Just an personal anecdote, but a large company would have rolled over like a dog getting a tummy rub, at first hint of trouble. And that is where we are today.
Ahh okay. I’ve been misinterpreting your perspective this whole time.
Thank you for clarifying
“More” - implying that there may not be a sufficiency - not “Only” or “Mostly”. Your question underscores @dt79’s point.
Indeed, that sounds like a nightmare.
However, for as much as I examine (or disagree with elements of) the current climate, I’m still not convinced that you can’t be a manly man with relative peace of mind if you do the right thing.
I know a man who was accused of rape because he had sex with a women who was drunk. He was also drunk and according to witnesses, he was drunker and she was coming on to him. What happened was that the next day dudes were making fun of him for having sex with her, she was not attractive, and he said he was embarrassed and didn’t know what he was thinking to have sex with her and, he was really drunk. She found out he said these things and formally accused him of rape to the authorities. In this case that meant the MPs. He was screwed no matter what since she reported it first and he was married. So even if the rape charge went nowhere, he committed adultery, a punishable offense. His wife was on the same base and she was told what happened.
Whether or not he got what he deserved, when would the reverse ever happen? What man in his position would wake up with some heifer and run to the police with a rape accusation? I’m definitely not saying if you have sex with a drunk woman it isn’t rape but when it’s a guy, it’s something to joke about.
In the case of the workplace, men don’t get upset if women call them honey but if a man calls a woman honey, he might be in trouble. And I have had, like many men, female coworkers use words like honey or compliment me on my clothes or haircut. I didn’t feel like I had been raped or harassed. And again, what man would complain about something like that? So at least on a social level there is a double standard.
Concur - the unmerited accusation thing is a one-way street from everything I’ve ever seen and there should be no double standard. But I think the double standard is also upheld because men don’t typically feel threatened by a woman’s advances and it’s not manly to rat out a woman. Applies to me too - it would take a woman saying / doing something way more than commenting on my appearance for me to even consider raising the issue. That said, I still don’t think the average guy has to walk on eggshells if he generally meets the standard of good conduct according to a reasonable person.
To the thread, I’m curious about something.
Which partner in your relationship is the ultimate head of the household? Not talking what’s for supper or which couch. And l think it will be fashionable but ultimately untrue, that both make the big final decisions straight up 50/50. Include as many close ‘partnerships’ as you wish.
With no question, l am the man of my house. My parents, grandparents, siblings the same. In several other extended family marriages, where this wasn’t the case - the marriage failed. I can only think of one exception, but wife followed hubby in his career and then henpecked him for decades. He was pretty passive in general.
I kill the spiders, or rather, relocate them. That makes me the boss.
In our home the big decisions are 50/50 but there have been times where I have had to stand my ground and go ahead and do what I felt was the right decision, despite disappointing my wife, which I believe at times is inevitable.
I’m not a bossy person, but my wife is, which is good in some cases, but not in others. My four year old son, despite his very young age, already has this streak, and it’s certainly not from me. So I’m not necessarily running and planning everything, but I have to stick to my guns here and there.
So you are scared your wife will read it, if you say you are eh?
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Whomever has the pink, is the boss, ![]()
Adultery is illegal under military law in the US? Woah.
Yup.
I don’t care about what stupid laws politicians are trying to, or have already passed. That’s outside of the confines of this premise.
You tell me that you’re arguing against certain laws like there has to be at least a certain percentage of women on the board of directors of every single company and I’m with you. All the fucking way.
Countries in my region have done even more stupid things. In Malaysia, for example, there MUST be a member of the majority race serving as a director in every single private company because of Affirmative Action laws for said race.
The divorce laws in the US with regards to splitting of assets and alimony still continue to blow my mind. If I were to get married there, there’s NO FUCKING WAY I wouldn’t get a pre-nup.
EDIT:
If, at the very least, one recognizes that women are inherently different in their thought processes, they would have lots to bring to the table given the shifting landscape of the worldwide economy. Rapidly growing industries like tech, for example, are generally more collaborative in nature and people in these industries tend to micromanage more at lower to middle management levels. These are so-called “feminine traits”.
Jordan Peterson, whom I’m not even a fan, was pretty much right when he said women make most of the household purchasing decisions, which I’ve actually been able to qualify with my own data I’ve purchased for clients so I’m in agreement with him. This happens EVEN IN ASIA. Why do you guys think there are more women in advertising lol?